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2yr old tantrum and public screaming

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    #32
    mdwexford
    Registered Users Posts: 11,279 ✭✭✭✭mdwexford


    Leftist wrote: »
    agreed with How Strange, you don't seem to notice them anymore when you experience it. Or at least you know it's not a matter of simply opening dialogue with a 2 year old or what else, slapping or shouting at them in public? :D

    i think the fact that someone thinks something is 'not normal' about a 2 year old having a tantrum, shows an ignorance borne from inexperience. That isn't a crime. I hated it (screaming kids) before I had one to deal with. But groaning and muttering obscenities, or repeatedly firing off filthy looks, or even suggesting that it's abnormal, is just, stupid. Sorry but it is. It's really stupid to even suggest you can lecture someone on a task you have never had to deal with.

    It's not normal if it's a regular thing is what I said.

    The odd one will happen but if it happens every time you go out then something is going wrong somewhere.

    I think it's really stupid to suggest you can't be informed on something because you haven't experienced it first hand.


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    #33
    mordeith
    Registered Users Posts: 5,278 ✭✭✭mordeith


    mdwexford wrote: »
    I think it's really stupid to suggest you can't be informed on something because you haven't experienced it first hand.

    If it's something that's black and white then that's true. Not when it comes to something like parenting where each child is an individual and can't be lumped in to a generic approach to discipline.


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    #34
    mdwexford
    Registered Users Posts: 11,279 ✭✭✭✭mdwexford


    mordeith wrote: »
    If it's something that's black and white then that's true. Not when it comes to something like parenting where each child is an individual and can't be lumped in to a generic approach to discipline.

    True. Just hate the way non parents opinions are just dismissed at times as if they are idiots.


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    #35
    Sittingpretty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty


    mdwexford wrote: »
    True. Just hate the way non parents opinions are just dismissed at times as if they are idiots.

    I think that swings both ways though, I have more than one childless friend who only LOVE to pontificate on how one should parent when they've never done it themselves :D


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    #36
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    mdwexford wrote: »
    It's not normal if it's a regular thing is what I said.

    Can you give links of any studies/ articles etc that say regular tantrums from a two-year old is abnormal?


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    #37
    tony1980
    Registered Users Posts: 1,611 ✭✭✭tony1980


    mdwexford wrote: »
    True. Just hate the way non parents opinions are just dismissed at times as if they are idiots.

    It wasn't so long ago that I was a non-parent when I had opinions of parents and kids and for the most part, looking back now, my opinions were a bit off as much as they made sense at the time, now I realise how far off the mark I was. Like it or not, it is a crazy difference when you have kids as I have found out, not to say that everything that non-parents say is wrong, alot of it is common sense but alot of it is, you have to personally experience it to actually understand, it is hard to explain, I know you won't like what I am saying but believe me it is true!

    Anyway, we don't really have to contend with non-parents opinions very often, it's the other parents that we have to worry about, maybe not in relation to tantrums but for other things, the ones who's opinions only count, they are right about everything and are very judgemental, they are far worse to deal with than the non-parents.

    You are entitled to your opinion as I am, I am not saying I am right, I am just saying to keep an open mind sometimes as it isn't as straight forward as you think it is, sometimes you have to be in the situation to be able to understand it.


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    #38
    vitani
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,824 ✭✭✭vitani


    mdwexford wrote: »
    That person could be having a bad day and whether you have kids or not a screaming child is annoying either way.

    Just because my toddler screamed before means I should be happy to listen other peoples screaming kids all the time, no way.

    It's also not normal for a child to be throwing a tantrum in public regularly or there are some issues to be addressed.

    Them having a bad day might be a reason for the tutting or mouthing obscenities but it doesn't excuse it.

    Personally, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this, if I see a child have a public tantrum, my reaction is most likely to be 'been there, done that' and if I can, I give the other parent a sympathetic smile or nod. It doesn't make the screaming less annoying, and I'm certainly not enjoying the sound of it, but I do understand, in a way that some non-parents can't.

    Also, there's a reason the phrase 'terrible 2s' was invented. Regular tantrums are common, yes, even in public, because toddlers are extremely self-obsessed little creatures and often don't understand why they can't have everything their own way all the time. It takes time for them to develop other ways to deal with frustration.


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    #39
    mdwexford
    Registered Users Posts: 11,279 ✭✭✭✭mdwexford


    Neyite wrote: »
    Can you give links of any studies/ articles etc that say regular tantrums from a two-year old is abnormal?

    No but I have not encountered any who had regular tantrums. Occasionally sure, but certainly not most of the time they go out in public. The fact that I rarely even see a child throw a tantrum means it's not as common as some people as making out.


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    #40
    Leftist
    Registered Users Posts: 2,230 ✭✭✭Leftist


    mdwexford wrote: »
    No but I have not encountered any who had regular tantrums. Occasionally sure, but certainly not most of the time they go out in public. The fact that I rarely even see a child throw a tantrum means it's not as common as some people as making out.

    are you ever around 2 year olds, regularly?

    they don't throw the tantrum non-stop. it can happen once a day. which is enough for my nerves tbh.

    as has been mentioned above, it's called the terrible 2s for a reason, it's a psychological developmental stage that is critical for building the ability to deal with disappointment.

    to be honest, i've already alluded to being ignorant to these things prior to having to learn and deal with them. I don't blame you for lacking the experience or knowledge. I don't blame you, or anyone for not wanting to listen to a tantrum. I didn't, and I still don't.

    but to suggest you know the standards of normality for a two year old and tantrums, contrary to people who have children on this thread, or child care/psychologist and developmental experts is just, well, funny really :D

    it's amazing how some people come to a conclusion and strong opinion on something based on assumptions and gut feelings.


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