What women like in men...

kiffer

kiffer wrote: »

What kind of person uses that word to describe another person?
The only time I'd use it would be to describe that scene in Silence of the Lambs...

Someone who refers to women as pussy?

The Wild Bunch

I'm sorry but appearance is everything

Clothes make the man, not the other way round

kiffer

Arbitrary Constants wrote: »

You don't need a reason to justify confidence. Anyone can be confident, all it is is being free of anxiety and being able to express yourself in a carefree manner. You don't need looks, money or status to be confident.

No, but what do you call someone who is super confident yet has never achieved anything?
High self esteem is important and great, but someone who seems confident and yet is unsuccessful at what they are doing may in fact have confidence that is ill founded.

As I said, success and confidence are linked, the more you succeed at a thing, the more confident you become about it and other things... the more confident you are in general the easier it is to take chances and rally from failures and thus the more you succeed.

If someone is successful, you know they are probably fairly confident... though it is all then somewhat less important, they might be really self doubting but have the courage to struggle through and act anyway... which is good too...

but the other way around isn't necessarily true, you encounter people who have great confidence in themselves but have an overinflated opinion of their skills and abilities, they may never be brung low by their failures, remaining un flagged by their defeats, and yet never actually succed in anything, because they are overconfident, and bite off more than they can chew.
Or they can be totally confident that if they did something they would succeed but are disinclined to actually do anything.

Success doesn't need to mean money...

and now I need to go find food.

newport2

kiffer wrote: »

No, but what do you call someone who is super confident yet has never achieved anything?
High self esteem is important and great, but someone who seems confident and yet is unsuccessful at what they are doing may in fact have confidence that is ill founded.

As I said, success and confidence are linked, the more you succeed at a thing, the more confident you become about it and other things... the more confident you are in general the easier it is to take chances and rally from failures and thus the more you succeed.

If someone is successful, you know they are probably fairly confident... though it is all then somewhat less important, they might be really self doubting but have the courage to struggle through and act anyway... which is good too...

but the other way around isn't necessarily true, you encounter people who have great confidence in themselves but have an overinflated opinion of their skills and abilities, they may never be brung low by their failures, remaining un flagged by their defeats, and yet never actually succed in anything, because they are overconfident, and bite off more than they can chew.
Or they can be totally confident that if they did something they would succeed but are disinclined to actually do anything.

Success doesn't need to mean money...

and now I need to go find food.

What I think most women I know find attractive is ambition and passion. A guy can be broke or have a mediocre job, but if he's passionate about what he does and is driven about achieving more or what he wants to do, then that seems to be a big attraction.

Money is a side issue for any of my female friends. It might be a nice bonus, but certainly not the key attraction.

kiffer

newport2 wrote: »

What I think most women I know find attractive is ambition and passion. A guy can be broke or have a mediocre job, but if he's passionate about what he does and is driven about achieving more or what he wants to do, then that seems to be a big attraction.

Money is a side issue for any of my female friends. It might be a nice bonus, but certainly not the key attraction.

Yes... *nod* success doesn't mean money.
As I said earlier money is a nice bonus.
And the ingredients that make you financially successful do tend to include ambition, confidence and so on ... plus there's the bonus of the money.

It's one of those things that just makes you look better...
like arriving with an attractive lady, makes you look more attractive to other women.
"If he's with her he must have some quality that isn't obvious, I should check him out"
I remember my older sister mentioning the phenomenon years and years ago, and more recently I've seen research that shows women rate men as more attractive if they are told that they are attached.

Like you've been vouched for.

beano345

kiffer wrote: »

It's one of those things that just makes you look better...
like arriving with an attractive lady, makes you look more attractive to other women.
"If he's with her he must have some quality that isn't obvious, I should check him out"
I remember my older sister mentioning the phenomenon years and years ago, and more recently I've seen research that shows women rate men as more attractive if they are told that they are attached.

Like you've been vouched for.

That's called pre-selection or social proof,I reckon every man has experienced the feast or famine thing at some stage,but I've noticed over the years if I went clubbing with attractive female friends,gf's or was seen greeting a female friend with a kiss your value shot up and you would get girls trying to dance or make eye contact.i know if i met them walking down the street they wouldn't even look at me,its like you have something the other female sees or you've passed her s*it tests.

ongarboy

kiffer wrote: »

Yes... *nod* success doesn't mean money.
As I said earlier money is a nice bonus.
And the ingredients that make you financially successful do tend to include ambition, confidence and so on ... plus there's the bonus of the money.

It's one of those things that just makes you look better...
like arriving with an attractive lady, makes you look more attractive to other women.
"If he's with her he must have some quality that isn't obvious, I should check him out"
I remember my older sister mentioning the phenomenon years and years ago, and more recently I've seen research that shows women rate men as more attractive if they are told that they are attached.

Like you've been vouched for.

The poor old single guy just can't win....unless of course they have a great ass (according to the survey earlier in the thread!!:))

Arbitrary Constants

kiffer wrote: »

No, but what do you call someone who is super confident yet has never achieved anything?
High self esteem is important and great, but someone who seems confident and yet is unsuccessful at what they are doing may in fact have confidence that is ill founded.

As I said, success and confidence are linked, the more you succeed at a thing, the more confident you become about it and other things... the more confident you are in general the easier it is to take chances and rally from failures and thus the more you succeed.

If someone is successful, you know they are probably fairly confident... though it is all then somewhat less important, they might be really self doubting but have the courage to struggle through and act anyway... which is good too...

but the other way around isn't necessarily true, you encounter people who have great confidence in themselves but have an overinflated opinion of their skills and abilities, they may never be brung low by their failures, remaining un flagged by their defeats, and yet never actually succed in anything, because they are overconfident, and bite off more than they can chew.
Or they can be totally confident that if they did something they would succeed but are disinclined to actually do anything.

Success doesn't need to mean money...

and now I need to go find food.

Ok I think I see where we differ, I think your definition of confidence differs to mine.

To me confidence is the ability to interact socially and express oneself without being stifled or feeling anxious. To me a confident person could just walk up a group of women for example and chat away and flirt without a care in the world and just enjoy himself. You don't need looks, money or status to achieve this confidence, it can help but thats only an unstable form of confidence that is conditional on fleeting circumstances. True confidence in a person imo is that which can't be broken by changing circumstances such as losing your looks or your job etc.

I think your view of confidence is how you rate yourself in comparison to other people.

To me someone who is super confident who has never "achieved anything" is a person who is emotionally healthy. They don't need reasons to be themself, they give themself permission to be themself, which is the only way to be, any other way is madness.