Bold 10yr Girl

tina4t

Hi my 10 yr old Daughter has turned into a nightmare over the past 6 mts. She rarely does anything she's asked to do, when she's told she's grounded she says she's not, its gone to a stage that i have to take the keys out of the front door.

She kicked's her father when he tells her she's not allowed out to play. She shouts and screams when she's asked to do something simple like get herself a pair of clean socks for herself. Life is a constant battle everyday. I accept that a lot of it is down to parenting and discipline but i feel its gone beyond this at this stage.

Has anyone had issues like mine with their children?

Roselm

Is she happy? Maybe talk to her teachers and see if her behaviour has changed in school also. Also that she's not being bullied or anything.

tina4t

Roselm wrote: »

Is she happy? Maybe talk to her teachers and see if her behaviour has changed in school also. Also that she's not being bullied or anything.

Yeah she's always been a happy child and very sociable around everyone. Its just over the past 6mts or so she's developed this unbearable attitude.

She's like an angel at school and around everyone else and does what ever she's told without raising her voice. No she's not being bullied in school, she's popular with the other kids.

January

I'll put it down in part to typical behaviour, she'll be starting puberty soon and her hormones are probably all over the place. That and you need to start putting the foot down, sit her down and chat to her and tell her what is expected of her, what will happen if she does not meet these expectations. Maybe try a reward chart (I know it might be a bit young for a 10 year old but she's acting like she needs one).

Moonbeam

The title of the thread caught my eye,I suppose because I would rarely calla child bold rather they do bold things.

I would sit down and chat with her in a non challenging way and give her a chance to talk openly and vent with out challenging her or jumping down her throat. This will open up some line of communication and maybe give her the confidence to talk to you.
Then I would do the same the other way around explain why her current behaviour is out of line and why it can not go on.
Then come to an agreement on both sides with give and take and if she stick to it reward her and if not well then she knows herself that she has not held up her side after being given a chance and have suitable punishments in place.

The Princess Bride

Would agree with Moonbeam- she is essentially a good child doing a not so good thing.

It's very important for you and her father to be in agreement in relation to how you discipline her.
If she sees you're on different wavelengths, she'll feel it's easier to manipulate the situation.
Perhaps you both need to discuss this away when alone, and decide how you're going to handle the next outburst.

Also-if she's shouting and screaming, just say quietly, that you'll speak to her when she stops shouting.Then walk away and do something else.
As with children of all ages, if you give them an audience, they'll continue to perform.

She just might be scaring herself with her behaviour, so remember to keep telling her that you love her and praise her when deserved.
And take some time for yourselves, it can (sometimes) be hard work at this age.

clint_silver

Id go with the "get agreement" tack as well.

Ive a 10 and a 9 yr old girl (and a 5 and 1 as well but not relevant here ) and am surprised at how well they take to that. We sit down at the table and say "family meeting" everyone gets a say, heres the problem as we see it, what are we going to do about this and they get to air their side as well. a few things have come out that way. If youve only got the one then maybe a bedtime chat is the way to do it.

When they see its a real problem they buy into what the resolution is.

Lets say its a timeout, go to bedroom with no electronics (shouldnt have electronics in bedroom anyway) then they dont complain too much about it. We get most problems fixed this way.

tina4t

January wrote: »

I'll put it down in part to typical behaviour, she'll be starting puberty soon and her hormones are probably all over the place. That and you need to start putting the foot down, sit her down and chat to her and tell her what is expected of her, what will happen if she does not meet these expectations. Maybe try a reward chart (I know it might be a bit young for a 10 year old but she's acting like she needs one).

thank you. I will try the reward chart. , She dosnt have a tv in her bedroom and she dosnt have any xbox or any thing like that. she has a ds but rarely uses it