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Hassle from gay at work

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    #32
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users Posts: 24,617 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    crazygeryy wrote: »
    is that a joke?
    why should he change for that idiot.

    Maybe switch on the sarcasm detector.

    Though I'm not sure how you're able to justify calling the person in the OP an idiot.


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    #33
    Sir Chops
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 133 ✭✭Sir Chops


    fire_man wrote: »
    I work in an open plan office.A gay man is full time passing remarks about my clothes and asking do I work out etc.They are all good remarks but I'm getting tired of it now. Somedays i would like to tell me him where to go but i don't want to make a scene.Has anyone experienced this before.What should i do?

    This is sexual harassment pure and simple. Get HR involved and get him sacked.


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    #34
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Yes, the OP is being made uncomfortable at work but from what he's said here I have as much reason to believe his discomfort is his own doing than that of "the gay".

    OP, what exactly is this person saying to you? From what you say he asked you if you worked out, I assume he only asked you once? And other than that he comments on your clothes? What else does he say? Because tbh those things seem harmless to me.


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    #35
    Mrs OBumble
    Registered Users Posts: 25,968 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    Sir Chops wrote: »
    This is sexual harassment pure and simple. Get HR involved and get him sacked.

    Hate to break it to you, but unless gross misconduct has occurred (and it hasn't), then the ideal outcome is for the offending employee to learn why his/her behaviour is not workplace-acceptable, to apologise, and not to do it again. No sackings in sight.


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    #36
    fire_man
    Registered Users Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭fire_man


    They are fairly harmless but it gets pretty annoying making comments about what i'm wearing each day etc,makes me feel uncomfortable.


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    #37
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    fire_man wrote: »
    They are fairly harmless but it gets pretty annoying making comments about what i'm wearing each day etc,makes me feel uncomfortable.

    If he was a woman or even a straight man would you feel uncomfortable?


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    #38
    SpaceTime
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,088 ✭✭✭SpaceTime


    Just tell him to lay off the comments on your clothes.
    He could just be very pass remarkable!

    I've a straight friend (and former colleague) who will say 'nice coat'.. 'Nice shoes..where did ya get them'. 'Like your hair …' and so on.

    He's not flirting, he's just comfortable enough to pay another guy complements.

    Women do it all the time! Guys generally don't as its maybe a bit 'gay', but increasingly nobody cares and seeming a bit 'gay' isn't an issue.

    If it's not sexual in nature, try having a word with him (diplomatically) before anything HR.


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    #39
    dd972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭dd972


    Tread carefully with this, best to probably ignore it, if it's brought up as an issue and becomes a topic of conversation the rumour mill would go bonkers if it's connected with Gays in any way and could end up with you being painted as an 'in the closet, self-hating homophobe'. There's a Franz Kafka quote that in the modern world the irrational becomes the rational and lies become the truth.


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