Stranger's comments

Pawwed Rig

I was walking near Grafton Street on Stephen's Green the other day. Junior started crying in his pram as he was just waking up in time for feeding. So I took him out of the pram to chat to him while crossing the road. My wife was a few metres ahead of me and we were going to get a bench in the Green to feed him and sort him out (it was a lovely sunny day).
Then some woman walks up to me and berates me because junior was not wearing a hat. No other comment or pleasantry. Now I just said 'Ha ha yeah' and kept walking but in hindsight there are plenty of better responses I would rather have given her.

Does this happen alot?

January

No, not often. Just crazy people, I'd ignore if it happens again, not worth it.

Tasden

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I was walking near Grafton Street on Stephen's Green the other day. Junior started crying in his pram as he was just waking up in time for feeding. So I took him out of the pram to chat to him while crossing the road. My wife was a few metres ahead of me and we were going to get a bench in the Green to feed him and sort him out (it was a lovely sunny day).
Then some woman walks up to me and berates me because junior was not wearing a hat. No other comment or pleasantry. Now I just said 'Ha ha yeah' and kept walking but in hindsight there are plenty of better responses I would rather have given her.

Does this happen alot?

Yeah once you have a baby you give everyone the right to question you and advise you on parenting, did you not get the memo? :pac:

I don't know why people think its ok, but it does happen a lot.

I was a teenager when I had my baby and the amount of absolutely absurd comments or questions directed at me still shocks me!
One time a woman assumed baby was my sister, when I said I'm the mother she hugged me (wtf?!) and asked all sorts of personal questions- do you know the dad, is he involved, does your family help you, are you on social welfare- things they wouldn't dream of saying to an older parent.

But even just general parenting "tips", everyone feels they can stick their oar in, I found that once I said "well I'll do it my way thanks" they backed off- apart from her grandmother but that's a little different!

If you do things by the book they give out that all babies are different and you need to adapt or what have you, if you do things slightly different then you're not doing it the correct way- you can never win!

SpaceTime

Start giving them advice on their weight, cholesterol, hairstyle etc etc

People love that.

Pawwed Rig

Tasden wrote: »

One time a woman assumed baby was my sister, when I said I'm the mother she hugged me (wtf?!) and asked all sorts of personal questions- do you know the dad, is he involved, does your family help you, are you on social welfare- things they wouldn't dream of saying to an older parent.

Ok I don't feel so bad now. Good grief!!

Tasden

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Ok I don't feel so bad now. Good grief!!

Ah I think she meant well, gave us something to laugh about for the day though!

luketitz

Odd one OP, sound like a random nutter to me. All we've ever had is pleasantries from random strangers on how blessed we are with cute kids (luckily, they resemble their mother!)

Don't know how I'd react to a stranger offering unwanted/rude advice of any sort, probably in a more-than-or-equally rude manner tbh!

xzanti

Tasden wrote: »

when I said I'm the mother she hugged me (wtf?!) and asked all sorts of personal questions- do you know the dad, is he involved, does your family help you, are you on social welfare- things they wouldn't dream of saying to an older parent.

Eeeww nosy b1tch.

I lived in an apartment in a rural village when I had my Son.. when he was about 6 months old I was walking across the road to the hairdressers to make an appointment... it was literally across the road from my front door.

So I decided to carry him in my arms as his buggy was too awkward to get in the little salon door.. anyway the minute I walked out the door this wagon sidles up to me and starts giving out to me for not having him in his pram.. literally out of nowhere she came..

Like you OP, I just laughed and said 'yeah' mostly because she took me completely by surprise, but I was livid with myself that I didn't tell her to feck off and mind her own business!!!! It is very irritating.

I think new parents just attract these sort of people.. they lay in wait for us I'd say.. :pac:

Bicycle

Yes, there are Nosy FuBs out there.

All of my children were born over the summer. Near the end of one of the pregnancies, I was in a shop on a hot sunny day. And a wan walked up to me and said "Aren't you very silly to be pregnant at this time of the year" - now to get things into perspective it wasn't my first and I was in my 30s so I wasn't some naive 12 year old or whatever!!

So all I said to her was "I'll only be pregnant with this baby once and think of all the birthday parties I can have out the back garden".

Another time, I was in a shop with my youngest - he was about 2 at the time and he had been ill so I was carrying him. Another wan came up to me and gave out to me for carrying him.

All I'll say to you is, these people must have very lonely lives if all they can do is comment on the lives of random strangers.

Hello Lady!

I can sympatise OP. I have twins and gets all manner of comments on a regular basis...they range from plain stupid ('are they girls' when they're decked out in pink! ) to the innane 'you've got your hands full' (better full than empty is my reply) to personal ('was it IVF?') to insensitive ('which one is the 'good' one - wtf? you wouldn't ask a parent of children of different ages to label one of their kids good and one bold??!!) to plain insulting ('oh jesus I'd die if I had twins'!).

add into the mix that they have silent reflux and then you get constantly asked 'do you wind them?' followed by instructions on the best way to wind! Jesus if I'd only thought of that! And heres me with them on medication and walking the floors for hours on end when all I needed to do is learn how to make my children fart!! :rolleyes:

dizzymiss

People think when they see a young baby they are entitled to give their two cents on how to raise them. Totally baffles me, i would never in a million years.... I've had random strangers come up to me on the street making comments. It's the same when you're pregnant, offering advice or the worst offence of all in my book; touching your belly!!! I used just put my hand out to touch theirs and they weren't long removing their paws :eek:

Chattastrophe!

dizzymiss wrote: »

People think when they see a young baby they are entitled to give their two cents on how to raise them. Totally baffles me, i would never in a million years.... I've had random strangers come up to me on the street making comments. It's the same when you're pregnant, offering advice or the worst offence of all in my book; touching your belly!!! I used just put my hand out to touch theirs and they weren't long removing their paws :eek:

I've done this too ... completely weirded them out. But that's how I felt!

Gee_G

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

I've done this too ... completely weirded them out. But that's how I felt!

Hahaha...I love it!!

Stone Deaf 4evr

People seem to ignore all social boundaries when it comes to pregnancy / other people's kids. I remember when we were expecting our first, people would put their hand on my belly. Totally freaked me out.












My wife wasn't overly impressed either :-)

emz8

I'm pregnant at the moment and was asked the other day if I had a partner, I said yes and was then asked "but is he the father?'" I'm raging I answered instead of saying something rude or smart. Cheek of some people.

Pawwed Rig

I also had an incident in my house where I was feeding my little man and one of my wife's friends (who was visiting) asked her if I was doing it right?

wmpdd3

ha ha. yeah iv done the .pat their belly. thing too. works everytime.

or get personal

my first had a bright red birthmark between her eyes. people presumed it was a bruise. que stories of their kids falling off beds in the 70s.

I'd just lean in and say thanks for the advise snd have you ever considered a new hair style. well must dash. hands full!

LynnGrace

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I was walking near Grafton Street on Stephen's Green the other day. Junior started crying in his pram as he was just waking up in time for feeding. So I took him out of the pram to chat to him while crossing the road. My wife was a few metres ahead of me and we were going to get a bench in the Green to feed him and sort him out (it was a lovely sunny day).
Then some woman walks up to me and berates me because junior was not wearing a hat. No other comment or pleasantry. Now I just said 'Ha ha yeah' and kept walking but in hindsight there are plenty of better responses I would rather have given her.

Does this happen alot?

Perfect response, in my opinion.

I genuinely never understand why people feel free to touch a pregnant woman's bump. I really would love to see someone reach out and pat the other person, in return, see how they like it.

silly

when my son was small, i had been out and got seriously delayed due to someone else being late, needed to do a quick shop on the way home so popped into dunnes, i knew baby had not slept yet but didnt seem cranky but i knew it was only a matter of time, so stuck him in the trolly dashed in, got my stuff and i was just queuing when he started to cry and cry and cry, i had to take him from the trolly and cradle him while trying to pack my bag one handed, the woman at the till - instead of helping me said "oh, he's colic" - i said "no, he's not, he's just tired" she then said "no, he's definately colic, i know that cry" - i was so pissed off and close to tears by the end of it, i should have left my shopping there and left.

Tasden

silly wrote: »

when my son was small, i had been out and got seriously delayed due to someone else being late, needed to do a quick shop on the way home so popped into dunnes, i knew baby had not slept yet but didnt seem cranky but i knew it was only a matter of time, so stuck him in the trolly dashed in, got my stuff and i was just queuing when he started to cry and cry and cry, i had to take him from the trolly and cradle him while trying to pack my bag one handed, the woman at the till - instead of helping me said "oh, he's colic" - i said "no, he's not, he's just tired" she then said "no, he's definately colic, i know that cry" - i was so pissed off and close to tears by the end of it, i should have left my shopping there and left.

Every crying baby seems to have colic according to strangers. I remember my baby's grandmother (dads side) had been away when baby was born and upon seeing the baby for the first time when baby was around six weeks and on a day she was particularly cranky (baby not granny!), she insisted I had "allowed colic to build up", I felt so dreadful! Went crying to my mam later and she told me it was a ridiculous comment and if baby had colic I would know or at least have been questioning it prior to her comment. I won't even begin telling you some of the other "advice" she "offered", the one that stands out though is that breast feeding causes violence in later years.

kandr10

Tasden wrote: »

Every crying baby seems to have colic according to strangers. I remember my baby's grandmother (dads side) had been away when baby was born and upon seeing the baby for the first time when baby was around six weeks and on a day she was particularly cranky (baby not granny!), she insisted I had "allowed colic to build up", I felt so dreadful! Went crying to my mam later and she told me it was a ridiculous comment and if baby had colic I would know or at least have been questioning it prior to her comment. I won't even begin telling you some of the other "advice" she "offered", the one that stands out though is that breast feeding causes violence in later years.

Breastfeeding causes violence!! That's the best I've heard. Hilarious :-)

Tasden

kandr10 wrote: »

Breastfeeding causes violence!! That's the best I've heard. Hilarious :-)

I suppose I should add a disclaimer- the woman had her issues and she meant well. But yeah, crazy! She had multiple children, one of which she breastfed (whom she was basing her claim on) its not like it was a foreign concept to her or complete naïvety.

Hello Lady!

I hate colic comments, particularly because the people who make these comments act like such experts and don't even know what the word colic means! They think colic = wind when actually colic means unexplained prolonged periods of crying. So saying that a baby 'sounds like it has colic' is a nonsense comment that doesn't even mean anything and just shows how uninformed the person making the comments actually is. Colic - prolonged periods of crying - can be caused by wind, griping pain, constipation, teething, reflux or any other hundred possibilities. One bout of crankiness and a whinge is not colic!

Tasden

Hello Lady! wrote: »

I hate colic comments, particularly because the people who make these comments act like such experts and don't even know what the word colic means! They think colic = wind when actually colic means unexplained prolonged periods of crying. So saying that a baby 'sounds like it has colic' is a nonsense comment that doesn't even mean anything and just shows how uninformed the person making the comments actually is. Colic - prolonged periods of crying - can be caused by wind, griping pain, constipation, teething, reflux or any other hundred possibilities. One bout of crankiness and a whinge is not colic!

I think sometimes people say it almost as "its not your fault, what can you do" kind of comment, but then others just think they know better and don't like to believe that sometimes babies cry, its what they do.

sopretty

Ah yes. It's all coming back to me now.......

'She's too hot'
'Is she cold?'
'You can't keep feeding her'
'Would she be due a feed?'
'You can't be picking her up when she cries. Babies need to cry to clear their airways'
'You shouldn't leave a baby cry'
'Are you feeding her yourself?' (I didn't realise what that one meant until later lol, so I replied 'yeah - it's just meself'.
'Will you give up that breastfeeding and we could all help!'
'Are you getting enough sleep? (at 8am every morning, waking me from the 2 hours sleep I got that night).
'You'll have her ruined'.
'Ah, I was the same on my first. By the third, you'll be a lot different'.
'Her bedroom is too cold'.
'Don't put too many blankets on her'.
'Is she sleeping through the night for you?'
'Is she walking yet?'
'Mine was talking at 6 months'.
'Get a changing table'.
'Safest place to change a baby is on the floor'.
'You're doing everything by the book'.
'This is how I did it'.


Good God, is it any wonder I went a wee bit mental!

kandr10

Haha it's like they learn the questions from a book or something!
To be fair I also hate when people ask what's wrong with her or what does that cry mean? I don't feckin know! She can't talk!! So there's no winning really
In defence of older people ( my own mother and mil included) there wasn't the wealth of information available that there is now so terms like reflux colic the yella janders are thrown around incorrectly sometimes. Have to remember they relied a lot more on instincts cos they didn't have the info or support back in the day.

sopretty

kandr10 wrote: »

Haha it's like they learn the questions from a book or something!
To be fair I also hate when people ask what's wrong with her or what does that cry mean? I don't feckin know! She can't talk!! So there's no winning really
In defence of older people ( my own mother and mil included) there wasn't the wealth of information available that there is now so terms like reflux colic the yella janders are thrown around incorrectly sometimes. Have to remember they relied a lot more on instincts cos they didn't have the info or support back in the day.

PMSL at the yella janders!!!

clarbar

Haha oh reminds me of the time my friend and I were in supermacs and a woman about 70ish told us how wonderful it would be if my friend gave her son up for adoption and how social workers take great care of her great grandson

loubian

sopretty wrote: »

Ah yes. It's all coming back to me now.......

'She's too hot'
'Is she cold?'
'You can't keep feeding her'
'Would she be due a feed?'
'You can't be picking her up when she cries. Babies need to cry to clear their airways'
'You shouldn't leave a baby cry'
'Are you feeding her yourself?' (I didn't realise what that one meant until later lol, so I replied 'yeah - it's just meself'.
'Will you give up that breastfeeding and we could all help!'
'Are you getting enough sleep? (at 8am every morning, waking me from the 2 hours sleep I got that night).
'You'll have her ruined'.
'Ah, I was the same on my first. By the third, you'll be a lot different'.
'Her bedroom is too cold'.
'Don't put too many blankets on her'.
'Is she sleeping through the night for you?'
'Is she walking yet?'
'Mine was talking at 6 months'.
'Get a changing table'.
'Safest place to change a baby is on the floor'.
'You're doing everything by the book'.
'This is how I did it'.


Good God, is it any wonder I went a wee bit mental!

I've had most of them said to me as well!

Chattastrophe!

Most recent one ...

Her: So you didn't manage the good stuff then?
Me: Wha?
Her: The boobies. (Grasps one of her own, and shoves it in my face, just in case I didn't get it.) The good stuff! The boob juice! Your baby isn't getting it?
Me: It's great that breastfeeding is still going so well for you. It didn't work out for us, but actually, he's doing absolutely great, no loss on him!
Her: *picks up yet another Blue WKD and puts baby to the boob* ah but breast is best, you know. *looks at me condescendingly*

Yeah ... I think I'm actually doing OK, thanks!

kandr10

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Most recent one ...

Her: So you didn't manage the good stuff then?
Me: Wha?
Her: The boobies. (Grasps one of her own, and shoves it in my face, just in case I didn't get it.) The good stuff! The boob juice! Your baby isn't getting it?
Me: It's great that breastfeeding is still going so well for you. It didn't work out for us, but actually, he's doing absolutely great, no loss on him!
Her: *picks up yet another Blue WKD and puts baby to the boob* ah but breast is best, you know. *looks at me condescendingly*

Yeah ... I think I'm actually doing OK, thanks!

Sounds like something from a roddy Doyle book. Bizarre!