worst thing your parents ever found in your room.

Ihatecuddles

Porn? Drugs?

For me, it was a bottle of gone off milk. I was too lazy to throw it out so I hid it in my drawer until my room smelled like death

SEPT 23 1989

a half naked lady

Mr. CooL ICE

Mouldy sandwiches. My mother made me blackcurrant jam sandwiches for school which I feckin hated and just threw them under my bed when I got home. Was afraid of people making me feel guilty for throwing them in the bin. Children starving in Africa and all that

Bipolar Joe

Half a naked lady. Didn't need the other half.

MS.ing

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

a half naked lady

the other half of her buried in the garden was it. you sicken me :mad:

Lisha

10 John player blue ......... Ah happy days

Ihatecuddles

LordChessington wrote: »

Mouldy sandwiches. My mother made me blackcurrant jam sandwiches for school which I feckin hated and just threw them under my bed when I got home. Was afraid of people making me feel guilty for throwing them in the bin. Children starving in Africa and all that

I kept them in the bottom of my schoolbag, they went a weird greeny colour and turned to powdered mould.

I hated sandwiches but she insisted

Went through about 3 schoolbags a year!

Ihatecuddles

Lisha wrote: »

10 John player blue ......... Ah happy days

Minding them for a friend? :P

darkpagandeath

Two naked ladies

I'm so uninteresting that I can't think of anything.

SEPT 23 1989

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Two naked ladies

very celtic tiger

Cuddlesworth

Surgical tubing, a needle and a lighter. I actually had a valid use for them, its just that they ended up grouped together.

MS.ing

472 naked ladies, with another 5 in the ensuite. yes it was a big room

Lisha

mauzo! wrote: »

Minding them for a friend? :P

Yup of course

MS.ing

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

Surgical tubing, a needle and a lighter. I actually had a valid use for them, its just that they ended up grouped together.

by a junkie in the family no doubt

Penny Tration

Vibrators.

Lisha

There was great fun the night my dad met my brother's girlfriend leaving my brother's room.
Dark mutterings about how the house was not a brothel went on for days.

BetterThanThou

Nothing interesting that I was hiding, I had a 7 boa constrictor, which was locked securely in it's cage, or so I thought, one day my mother who is deathly afraid of snakes opened the door to find the snake slithering around the floor,the scream from her would have woke up the dead. Another time, I planted a sex position book I bought in a second hand shop for a euro in my wardrobe for my mother to find, just for the craic.

daheff

Me

Crumpets

A big bag of naggins of vodka that had built up over 2 years or so.

A manky chocolate cake that I made in school and was too lazy to throw out. Left it under the bed and forgot about it.

Princess Peach

Had a goldfish under my pillow once.

He was cold in the tank.

Pinch Flat

My porn stash:o

LizzieJones

Not in my room but she did find my smokes behind a metal wardrobe in the basement. She told me the dog showed her they were there. Bulls**t!!

kiffer

Why the fudgeknuckles would you leave food under your bed?

MS.ing

LizzieJones wrote: »

Not in my room but she did find my smokes behind a metal wardrobe in the basement. She told me the dog showed her they were there. Bulls**t!!

lassie was it?

CFlat

green_screen wrote: »

Vibrators.

Were you mixing alot of cement?

Daveysil15

When I was a young teen my father was giving me the birds and the bees talk. He said don't choke the bishop too much. You should save that until you're 18. So he went into my room one day and found three jars full.

LizzieJones

MS.ing wrote: »

lassie was it?

Seriously. That is what she told me while looking me straight in the eye.

My mom had issues.

Pumpkinseeds

A dead mouse that was a 'gift' from the cat.

crockholm

The aul one found my bong(which at the time were hard enough to get,most friends used a plastic coke bottle with water,peasants) and Went running to the aul fellah where she said that she had found "a machine for making drugs".

Hid porno under the mattress, no one would ever discover it there.I was very,very wrong.

Aphex

Came home one day to find a brand new bed in my room, and my old bed gone. I think somebody didn't need it or something and my mother said she would take it off the persons hands. Anyway.. Me being a young lad had some "magazines" under the mattress of my old bed. I lift up the new mattress to find the mags chilling in their new home.

Absolutely nothing was mentioned by all parties about this new bed ever

LizzieJones

crockholm wrote: »

The aul one found my bong(which at the time were hard enough to get,most friends used a plastic coke bottle with water,peasants) and Went running to the aul fellah where she said that she had found "a machine for making drugs".

Hid porno under the mattress, no one would ever discover it there.I was very,very wrong.

I'll be willing to bet you're the reason for every gray hair on her head.

AnonoBoy

My first novel.


Oh my god, they say most people are their own worst critics. Not true in my case.

Here are their reviews which I found pinned to the fridge the next morning:

"Poorly conceived plot with excruciatingly cliched characters." - Mum.
"Bag o'****e. My arse could write better books than this." - Dad.

Lisha

Aphex wrote: »

Came home one day to find a brand new bed in my room, and my old bed gone. I think somebody didn't need it or something and my mother said she would take it off the persons hands. Anyway.. Me being a young lad had some "magazines" under the mattress of my old bed. I lift up the new mattress to find the mags chilling in their new home.

Absolutely nothing was mentioned by all parties about this new bed ever

I hope you remember this every Mother's Day and give your mother fantastic gifts.
She is a legend.

Ihatecuddles

AnonoBoy wrote: »

My first novel.


Oh my god, they say most people are their own worst critics. Not true in my case.

Here are their reviews which I found pinned to the fridge the next morning:

"Poorly conceived plot with excruciatingly cliched characters." - Mum.
"Bag o'****e. My arse could write better books than this." - Dad.

That's f*cking brilliant!!!

harry Bailey esq

mauzo! wrote: »

Porn? Drugs?

For me, it was a bottle of gone off milk. I was too lazy to throw it out so I hid it in my drawer until my room smelled like death

Hash and porn,my ma would often find both. She was too embarrassed to say anything about the porn,but she'd move it in such a way that id know she found it.The hash was a different matter though and more than once she rang the police on me and/or slap me round the house. Funny enough she has no problem with me having a joint when i visit nowadays,but when i lived under her roof i might as well have been smoking crack cocaine in my room.drugs are drugs was her mindset at the time. Thankfully middle age has mellowed her out.

NegativeCreep

A block of hash and a pack of Drum but there were no repercussions so it was grand in the end!

Arthur Beesley

AnonoBoy wrote: »

My first novel.


Oh my god, they say most people are their own worst critics. Not true in my case.

Here are their reviews which I found pinned to the fridge the next morning:

"Poorly conceived plot with excruciatingly cliched characters." - Mum.
"Bag o'****e. My arse could write better books than this." - Dad.

I'd love to be able to say that your writing has improved.

Kitty6277

kiffer wrote: »

Why the fudgeknuckles would you leave food under your bed?

That's what I'm wondering

C14N

Daveysil15 wrote: »

When I was a young teen my father was giving me the birds and the bees talk. He said don't choke the bishop too much. You should save that until you're 18. So he went into my room one day and found three jars full.

Wait, are you saying you stored up enough of that stuff to fill 3 jars? :eek:

I think at some point someone may have found some used jizzy toilet paper in my locker when I forgot to throw it out. Still not certain though.

Mince Pie

I used to collect worms and kept them in a box under my bed. She found them when cleaning and got a bit of a fright.

Calibos

Aphex wrote: »

Came home one day to find a brand new bed in my room, and my old bed gone. I think somebody didn't need it or something and my mother said she would take it off the persons hands. Anyway.. Me being a young lad had some "magazines" under the mattress of my old bed. I lift up the new mattress to find the mags chilling in their new home.

Absolutely nothing was mentioned by all parties about this new bed ever

Its 1988 and I'm 14

I'm in my mates house across the road.

Mate decides to show me an 'Icky' picture of his Mother sunbathing topless on holiday from her 20's.

"Yeah, thats icky alright". I'd like to leave an icky mess all over.....[Cough]

She's a 35yo Milf at the time.

I bide my time and rob the photo a few days later when no one was looking.

I fully intend to put the photo back after I've etched it into my mental ****-bank (80's remember, no scanners or camera phones etc)

It goes under my matress of my built in bed in the box-room.

The Fcuker slides through a gap in the panels. No way to retrieve it without destroying the built in bed. FUUUCCCKKK!!

Its eventually forgotten about and we move out of this rented house a year or so later.

Sometime in the last 20 years someone renovated that house and found a picture of the 60 year old granny from across the road topless

anncoates

Me on the job

confusedeire

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

A dead mouse that was a 'gift' from the cat.

i got the same. he brought it to me one night but the mouse was still alive.

i got a fright when the cat came in the window and i ended up giving the cat a fright so he dropped the mouse.

Gatling

250 copies of the Pamela Anderson sex tape when it originally came out,
Wardrobe was full of tapes ready to sell

Calibos

Mother found my hash stash one day and confronted me with it.

HER: "Jaysus, Haven't smoked that since the 70's. Why don't you roll a spliff"

ME: "W...T...F!!???"

Rolled a monster as ironically this was my first ever hash purchase and had little to no experience rolling. I put too much in. We both got wrecked, I took to my bed to sleep it off. When I woke up later that evening she confronted me again,

"You little Bastard!! Fine for you, you took to your bed. I had to fcuking do the ironing and cook the families dinner while stoned out of my tree!!"

Drexel

mauzo! wrote: »

I kept them in the bottom of my schoolbag, they went a weird greeny colour and turned to powdered mould.

I hated sandwiches but she insisted

Went through about 3 schoolbags a year!

I used to do this too. I dunno why haha. In 1st / 2nd class something went missing from the classroom and we all had to go to the front of the class and empty out our schoolbags to see who the robber was. I remember being really stressed waiting to be called and mortified when all my old mouldy sambos fell out.

Good times..

Ihatecuddles

jonny666 wrote: »

I used to do this too. I dunno why haha. In 1st / 2nd class something went missing from the classroom and we all had to go to the front of the class and empty out our schoolbags to see who the robber was. I remember being really stressed waiting to be called and mortified when all my old mouldy sambos fell out.

Good times..

I'm so glad it wasn't just me!!! we're all gross together!

Toots

Went to Australia with my OH when I was 19. I knew my mum would probably go in and do a massive cleanup on my room while I was gone, so the week before I left I got rid of a bag of weed, roller and numerous packs of skins from a little box under my bed. Sorted, or so I thought. I'd forgotten about the bag I referred to as my 'bag of debauchery' basically the bag I brought any time myself and the OH got away for a night together. It contained two sets of handcuffs, a couple of bottles of that warming and cooling lube, blindfold, cock ring and a couple of other bits (this is 100% true BTW, not making this up!). When I got home from Oz, my mum had indeed cleaned up my room. I found all the things from the bag neatly tucked away in a box in the bottom of my wardrobe. Nothing was ever said about it. I just pray it was my mum who found it and not my dad, he'd be scarred for life.

Daveysil15

Gatling wrote: »

250 copies of the Pamela Anderson sex tape when it originally came out,
Wardrobe was full of tapes ready to sell

Proper gangsta. You must have been well popular in school.

herisson

Cigarette boxes, lighters and vodka bottles when i was younger

My crop, my vibrators, rope, condoms and lube.