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Single mother in tricky situation

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    #152
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    Boombastic wrote: »
    there is an access order in place. It seems he takes it seriously, maybe he doesn't want to you let you interfer by letting you drive her there thus you deciding what time she turns up at, maybe it suits him as he's on his way by anyway, maybe he doesn't want to put you to any bother.

    You say you don't get on with your ex, depending on how the relationship ended it might not be that bizarre, or he's moved on and just couldn't be bothered with any drama?(not judging just a possibility?)
    Do you speak to the other child, say hello etc?

    I find it bizarre you directly asked OP about how the situation affects her daughter, when she confirms that yes her daughter is affected by the awkwardness at the unplanned meetings & is sensitive etc you completely disregard it, and ask if the mother says hello to the other child.

    Did her answer not fit in with your angle??


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    #153
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Flippyfloppy wrote: »
    I find it bizarre you directly asked OP about how the situation affects her daughter, when she confirms that yes her daughter is affected by the awkwardness at the unplanned meetings & is sensitive etc you completely disregard it, and ask if the mother says hello to the other child.

    Did her answer not fit in with your angle??

    what's my angle??


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    #154
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    OP - why dont you "jolly hockey sticks" it when you unexpectedly bump into the woman in a shop and while the kids say hi just loudly say "Hi Mary, hope youre well" and smile and keep moving.


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    #155
    diveout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 746 ✭✭✭diveout


    I don't think you have too much of a choice here. However if you are in a co-parenting, rather than parallel parenting relationship with your ex, this kind of pettiness will not help. It must be weird for the kids to see their step mom not want to talk to you and I can see how you might want to make things more comfortable for them rather than this set up of insidious loyalty issues.

    On the other hand, all you can do is invite her to meet you, always take the high road, perhaps even send over some cupcakes, and if she snubs you then it makes her look very immature. And from the kids point of view, it must all seem really bizarre.

    Saying that you must be able to contact your kids when she is in their care. But this is really your ex's doing, leaving the two women to deal with it and you need to get him to fix it.


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