Punching a woman - Justified or not? - MOD WARNING FIRST POST

Stavros Murphy

Potatoeman wrote: »

Context?

Scuffles as a callow youth. That and bouncing doors, which was dull.

purplecow1977

I think it's admirable that some men won't hit women, just because.
In normal circumstances, I would tend to lean towards the equality thing and don't believe women should be given 'special' treatment.
HOWEVER, in saying that, two wrongs do NOT make a right and I don't believe you should hit someone just because they hit you. Seems logical I know! But it really irks me at work when kids complain to me in the school yard that A hit B but B hit A first and A says 'my Dad told me to hit back!' Now I know where some of those attitudes come from! My response is usually 'well your dad isn't right, it's not okay to hit someone!'. But when ADULTS behave like this....................!!

Uriel.

purplecow1977 wrote: »

I think it's admirable that some men won't hit women, just because.
In normal circumstances, I would tend to lean towards the equality thing and don't believe women should be given 'special' treatment.
HOWEVER, in saying that, two wrongs do NOT make a right and I don't believe you should hit someone just because they hit you. Seems logical I know! But it really irks me at work when kids complain to me in the school yard that A hit B but B hit A first and A says 'my Dad told me to hit back!' Now I know where some of those attitudes come from! My response is usually 'well your dad isn't right, it's not okay to hit someone!'. But when ADULTS behave like this....................!!

While your view is admirable I'm afraid the reality of life is often quite different whether we like it or not. Fear, intimidation, threats often make it difficult to simply run to the "authorities" be it in school or elsewhere. This rarely solves the problem and leaves the victim open to bullying, as a result of the belief that he can't defend themselves.

A lot of the time in adult life, you won't get the chance to run the authorities. If you have been attacked in an unprovoked situation particularly, you fight back and respond in kind.

osarusan

If a person was a genuine threat to the safety of a member of my family and I had no option but to resort to violence to negate the threat, then I'd hit them, man or woman.

beano345

quote="purplecow1977;90069732"]I think it's admirable that some men won't hit women, just because.
In normal circumstances, I would tend to lean towards the equality thing and don't believe women should be given 'special' treatment.
HOWEVER, in saying that, two wrongs do NOT make a right and I don't believe you should hit someone just because they hit you. Seems logical I know! But it really irks me at work when kids complain to me in the school yard that A hit B but B hit A first and A says 'my Dad told me to hit back!' Now I know where some of those attitudes come from! My response is usually 'well your dad isn't right, it's not okay to hit someone!'. But when ADULTS behave like this....................!![/quote]

What's admirable about it?oh so you take a Chinese menu approach to equality.when I was a kid I used to get bullied by a gang on my estate boys and girls.I couldn't go anywhere so after coming home after getting beat up again my mother wouldn't let me in to the house and told me to wait there and went out the back and came back with a stick and sent me back up the road,let's just say them kids wouldn't look at me sideways after that Day,so you can keep your politically correct nonsense.

"Just because" great answer by the way

pablo128

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

But it's not a man, it's a woman. There's a difference. I don't care about their decency, I care about mine. I don't hit women out of decency, not because they don't deserve it, or need it or whatever. To me, a man who hits a woman is a sac. That's my view, and it won't change. I'd hold her wrists, and tbh, unless my back was turned, they couldn't hit me anyway, don't make me laugh. The only time a woman has hit me face to face, it was a slap I stood and took, and I probably deserved it.

I'm with you in a way. At 6'3" there's a very slim chance a moth would get a dig in on me, and my missus and her sister are like wildcats so i'd probably leave it to them. But, there are blokes out there who arent as big and could easily come face to face to a girl twice their wight and a good bit taller. What do they do? Either take off running or drop them. If I was in that situation which in fairness I probably never will be, I'd drop them. Women tend to have glass chins.

smurgen

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Ahh, I've had stiletto heels buried into my back, glasses shoved into my back, claws scrawbed down the back of my neck and head, all by women, who remained unhit. I was usually mowing the head off their fella, which probably provoked them, to be honest, but i still wouldn't hit a girl. I doubt I'm alone, lots of lads won't hit girls as a solid rule. Such is life.

Then you must have very little self worth.you need to stand up for yourself in all circumstances.if someone deliberately provokes someone bigger than them then they better be prepared to deal with the consequences.if I got stuck in someone much larger than me I'd hardly expect them to show mercy just because I was in over my head!

Also people in my opinion need to be much slower to violence.there's a lot of casual fighting in this country,almost like violence for enjoyment.I don't get it at all.I would only ever get physical if I thought I had no way forward.but when I did/do get physical I'd do absolutely anything to win. If I was to get involved in a fight I'd treat it very much like my life was in danger.proportionate force would more or less go out the window.

Stavros Murphy

pablo128 wrote: »

I'm with you in a way. At 6'3" there's a very slim chance a moth would get a dig in on me, and my missus and her sister are like wildcats so i'd probably leave it to them. But, there are blokes out there who arent as big and could easily come face to face to a girl twice their wight and a good bit taller. What do they do? Either take off running or drop them. If I was in that situation which in fairness I probably never will be, I'd drop them. Women tend to have glass chins.

I laughed anyway.

purplecow1977

beano345 wrote: »

quote="purplecow1977;90069732"]I think it's admirable that some men won't hit women, just because.
In normal circumstances, I would tend to lean towards the equality thing and don't believe women should be given 'special' treatment.
HOWEVER, in saying that, two wrongs do NOT make a right and I don't believe you should hit someone just because they hit you. Seems logical I know! But it really irks me at work when kids complain to me in the school yard that A hit B but B hit A first and A says 'my Dad told me to hit back!' Now I know where some of those attitudes come from! My response is usually 'well your dad isn't right, it's not okay to hit someone!'. But when ADULTS behave like this....................!!

What's admirable about it?oh so you take a Chinese menu approach to equality.when I was a kid I used to get bullied by a gang on my estate boys and girls.I couldn't go anywhere so after coming home after getting beat up again my mother wouldn't let me in to the house and told me to wait there and went out the back and came back with a stick and sent me back up the road,let's just say them kids wouldn't look at me sideways after that Day,so you can keep your politically correct nonsense.

"Just because" great answer by the way[/QUOTE]


It sounds like someone needs a little tickle to cheer up a bit!!!!!

If a child comes to me and tells me he has been pushed, I won't tell him that it's okay to do it back. I just won't. Violence doesn't solve anything. It doesn't surprise me that others think differently though.

beano345

"It sounds like someone needs a little tickle to cheer up a bit!!!!! "

Eh I'm not one of your school kids your talking to here :rolleyes:

Do you teach history to these kids,you'll find that violence although doesn't solve everything it solves a lot.

Galwayguy35

purplecow1977 wrote: »

I think it's admirable that some men won't hit women, just because.
In normal circumstances, I would tend to lean towards the equality thing and don't believe women should be given 'special' treatment.
HOWEVER, in saying that, two wrongs do NOT make a right and I don't believe you should hit someone just because they hit you. Seems logical I know! But it really irks me at work when kids complain to me in the school yard that A hit B but B hit A first and A says 'my Dad told me to hit back!' Now I know where some of those attitudes come from! My response is usually 'well your dad isn't right, it's not okay to hit someone!'. But when ADULTS behave like this....................!!

Have you ever been hit?

I have and would hit back to make sure I didn't end up getting seriously hurt.

Would you not do the same?

Potatoeman

purplecow1977 wrote: »

It sounds like someone needs a little tickle to cheer up a bit!!!!!

If a child comes to me and tells me he has been pushed, I won't tell him that it's okay to do it back. I just won't. Violence doesn't solve anything. It doesn't surprise me that others think differently though.

Schools have a zero tolerance for violence which is fair enough but there is nothing wrong with adults using self defence.

Czarcasm

Potatoeman wrote: »

Schools have a zero tolerance for violence which is fair enough but there is nothing wrong with adults using self defence.

There's nothing in the OP to suggest he had to defend himself at any point. He lashed out and knocked someone out that was no threat to him personally. I can only put his piss poor judgment down to intoxication, because the sensible thing to have done would have been to check on his mate first and get them the hell out of there.

Potatoeman

Czarcasm wrote: »

There's nothing in the OP to suggest he had to defend himself at any point. He lashed out and knocked someone out that was no threat to him personally. I can only put his piss poor judgment down to intoxication, because the sensible thing to have done would have been to check on his mate first and get them the hell out of there.

I was replying to the user that said violence doesn't solve anything.

FullblownRose

Youre courting ritual reminds me of a david attenborough documentary on..flamingos, or something

purplecow1977

Potatoeman wrote: »

I was replying to the user that said violence doesn't solve anything.

I wasn't speaking about self defence.
In such an instance,yes,I would hit back.

Czarcasm

Potatoeman wrote: »

I was replying to the user that said violence doesn't solve anything.

Yeah but you know as well as I do, as well as any adult does, that there's a difference between self-defence, and attacking someone. "They hit me first" is what children use as a justification for attacking someone who has attacked them, as is "they were looking for it, I don't care if they're bigger or smaller, man or woman, they come at me, they're gonna get put down".

If someone else behaves in an uncivilized fashion towards you, is it not better to maintain your dignity and show some restraint? You're not an animal and you're not a child, as an adult you're expected to know better.

13505

Czarcasm wrote: »

You're not an animal and you're not a child, as an adult you're expected to know better.

Apologies for nitpicking but to be fair, we ARE actually animals. All of us. We are literally animals. Apes in fact. And we are the best damned animals on earth!!

Hip hip!

Hooray!!!

Hip hip!

Hooray!

Amirani

13505 wrote: »

Apologies for nitpicking but to be fair, we ARE actually animals. All of us. We are literally animals. Apes in fact. And we are the best damned animals on earth!!

In fact? That's a rubbish fact, it's not even a fact.

WilyCoyote

Czarcasm wrote: »

Yeah but you know as well as I do, as well as any adult does, that there's a difference between self-defence, and attacking someone. "They hit me first" is what children use as a justification for attacking someone who has attacked them, as is "they were looking for it, I don't care if they're bigger or smaller, man or woman, they come at me, they're gonna get put down".

If someone else behaves in an uncivilized fashion towards you, is it not better to maintain your dignity and show some restraint? You're not an animal and you're not a child, as an adult you're expected to know better.

Czarcasm, you gotta be joking. Maintain dignity and walk? Fucking hell. And let the aggressor know what your mindset is? Like the famous note/peace in our time lark?
That is appeasement. It's not a particularly admirable trait. Unless one is quoting the great man himself and decides that turning the other cheek being the way to end hostilities. Bottle everything up and have a breakdown. Peace at any price - the panacea of human emotions.
Do you not think that anger is an emotion? Or should it not be acted on? Surely if you squeeze one emotion out of human feeling the whole psyche becomes destabilized.
I know I can get away saying this to you because, even if I've got things misconstrued - you won't act on it.

13505

Diego Simeone wrote: »

In fact? That's a rubbish fact, it's not even a fact.

fact
/fakt/

noun

1.a thing that is known or proved to be true.

I'm not sure if I've misinterpreted you or not. I said we are "apes, in fact". Perhaps you are pulling my leg, and I have not got the joke, but we are apes. I mean, we literally are apes. Apes are animals. We are animals.

Only the best damned animals in the world that is!!!

Hip hip!!

Hooray!!

Hip hip!!!

Hooray!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_ape

AngryHippie

I'm pretty well set against violence in general, If someone comes at me, then I'll have to react, just because they are female doesn't mean I'll stand there like a big chump and be beat. It'll be on for young and old.

That said, I have in the past stood by, while a female friend got a belt from another female (my friend was being a stuck up condescending bitch to this other stranger at the time) I stood between them and stopped it, without getting hit (miraculously) but I stopped well short of hitting the other girl back.

She learned a lesson that night (For some reason she thought I was going to intervene [from the friend zone] on her behalf in her crusade against an urchin.) she got a slap, learned to keep her mouth shut and walk on. (if we were an item, it would have been a bit different, I would have gotten her away from the initial situation)

I also got a lesson the next day when about 20 mates (that weren't there) gave me non stop **** for not decking the other girl. what do you do ! lose lose situation.

She apologized a few days later for being a cnut and we remained friends.

Don't hit girls unless you are going to get harmed by her. Control, trip on arse, walk away.

daysleeper

Saw something similar happen while I was working over in the Canaries for the Summer and it was fairly grim... Was having a drink in a late bar (bit of a **** hole) after work one night with a few friends when a 6ft tall guy, about mid-late thirties, started chatting to us and asking if we'd like a drink etc. Told us he was from Nigeria but lives in Belfast. Anyway he was fairly annoying so after a few minutes of polite chat we made our excuses and he moved on. He then approached the only other people in the bar, two English girls, aged about 19 or 20, both off their faces drunk. He tried the same thing with them and one of the girls replied no and threw in something racist, and before I knew it he punched her square in the face and she fell to the ground and whollopped her head off the floor. The barman and owner didn't see it and the guy made up a story about how she fell and so he wasn't thrown out, despite her friend screaming and roaring. We decided to get the heck out of there and when we got outside the 2 girls followed us and asked for a lighter. I was asking were they OK and then the guy came out, started walking home and then the girl shouted some more racist crap at him. He came back, grabbed her by the throat and threw her onto the ground. I know she was a racist tool but it was still absolutely unreal to see that kinda violence up close.

Czarcasm

WilyCoyote wrote: »

Czarcasm, you gotta be joking. Maintain dignity and walk? Fucking hell. And let the aggressor know what your mindset is? Like the famous note/peace in our time lark?
That is appeasement. It's not a particularly admirable trait. Unless one is quoting the great man himself and decides that turning the other cheek being the way to end hostilities. Bottle everything up and have a breakdown. Peace at any price - the panacea of human emotions.
Do you not think that anger is an emotion? Or should it not be acted on? Surely if you squeeze one emotion out of human feeling the whole psyche becomes destabilized.
I know I can get away saying this to you because, even if I've got things misconstrued - you won't act on it.

Nah it's not like I'm some hippy dippy Wily in all fairness, I'm just someone who doesn't lose their head very quickly. I'm just not going to hit someone who I know I could do serious injury to. I've only ever lost my temper twice, and both times I've regretted it, because I hold myself to a higher standard than engaging in scumbag behaviour.

Of course anger is an emotion, but go take it out on a punch bag or something, don't take it out on another person, and especially a person smaller than you or a woman. If saying that you should never hit a woman makes me sexist, I'm ok with being sexist, I'd freely admit as much anyway, because this whole "oh women want equality" lark is just a piss poor justification when it suits scumbag behaviour. I don't know of any woman that wants to be sucker punched in the name of equality, and if that's what equality is to some people, they can keep it, because I want no part of it.

I'd sooner be labelled sexist than to entertain notions that scumbag behaviour has anything to do with treating people equally. That would surely be the complete opposite of showing respect for other people?

HugsiePie

13505 wrote: »

Apologies for nitpicking but to be fair, we ARE actually animals. All of us. We are literally animals. Apes in fact. And we are the best damned animals on earth!!

Hip hip!

Hooray!!!

Hip hip!

Hooray!

Apes are our genetic cousins. We're not actually descended from each other. In fact what lead us to survive and not other species of humans (there were far more than just the neanderthals) was our enlarged brain that could function and think and plan ahead. The neanderthals are bit of an exception to this......but basically this has nothing to do with anything

Anyways......evolution YAY FOR US

Wompa1

pablo128 wrote: »

I'm with you in a way. At 6'3" there's a very slim chance a moth would get a dig in on me, and my missus and her sister are like wildcats so i'd probably leave it to them. But, there are blokes out there who arent as big and could easily come face to face to a girl twice their wight and a good bit taller. What do they do? Either take off running or drop them. If I was in that situation which in fairness I probably never will be, I'd drop them. Women tend to have glass chins.

A friend of mine was living in the midlands. Came back to his apartment one evening to find a woman from a certain group in the community rummaging through his stuff in his room. When she saw him she lunged at him, he started pushing her off but wouldn't strike her. You should have seen him after it. He had a busted lip, black eye and deep scratches all over him...he should have decked her.

IvySlayer

If someone is big enough to throw punch, there should be no problem with them receiving one, regardless of gender.

HugsiePie

Never hit a girl

You'll never know what she'll do back :pac:

AngryHippie

I was out with the OP last night and managed to capture the incident on video. The women in question is the wan on the left.

definitely a snuke in the snizz

whupdedo

Wompa1 wrote: »

A friend of mine was living in the midlands. Came back to his apartment one evening to find a woman from a certain group in the community rummaging through his stuff in his room. When she saw him she lunged at him, he started pushing her off but wouldn't strike her. You should have seen him after it. He had a busted lip, black eye and deep scratches all over him...he should have decked her.

He shouldn't have decked her, he should have beat her half to death with a clothes iron