The preciousness of "being objectified"

iDave

sopretty wrote: »

Perhaps men should buy some blow up dolls?

Is that a healthy solution?

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Women are people, not just sexual objects. Do some of these men not realise this?

Probably, their bluntness perhaps masks it.

Tilly

I've had sex with an object. What does that make me?

Spunge

Men and women are different, holy ****

Robson Lobson

sopretty wrote: »

In basic terms, which you may or may not understand; it is to treat a human being as an object.

So objectification is objectification. :rolleyes:

J_E

If you're on Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, or any of those kinds of apps, you are going to have people cut the small talk and be honest as to what they want.

They like you, you like them, let's meet up. I mean, even on Tinder there's an extra barrier of having to say you like them back before you can message even, get none of that on other apps.

If that's not your style, there are other apps like OKCupid and the like where you can explore each other on a more personality-based level.

Complaining you're being objectified to some extent on a hookup site is a bit of an oxymoron. It happens for both genders. It's the format of the app whether you're willing to admit that or not. Don't tell me you look at a profile on one of those apps and look for a personality before physical appearance.

I've been 'objectified' plenty of times by other men. Sometimes it's pleasant sometimes it's not. If anything I'm chuffed in a sense that someone shows interest in me, and I am the one in control of what happens next. You just ignore and move on if it's not. Doing this whole 'men are sexual predators' thing is just nonsense and insulting to the majority of us who are not like that. Just as saying 'women don't want sex' is also nonsense.


If I'll be honest I never thought Tinder would have translated as well to straight people as Grindr has for gay men for the reason of threads like this.

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Women are people, not just sexual objects. Do some of these men not realise this?

I think these women can speak for themselves, by making a comment like that you're unintentionally suggesting women are not strong enough to make this distinction clearly in conversation. What about women who are just looking for sex also? Are they objects? Tinder gives a woman or man the choice to say no if they don't like how the conversation is going and an easy exit. Surely this is empowering if anything else?

Maguined

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Nope. However, treating a woman as though her only purpose or value is sexual IS objectification. Why is this hard to understand?

Why is it though? If two consenting adults want to engage in any activity who are you to judge?

The only way to agree consent is to communicate but it is this initial communication that you object to.

Spunge

Some women like being objectified. Now what ?

Ash.J.Williams

MadYaker wrote: »

Would you walk up to some girl in a pub and say those things to her? You'd be idiot if you did and probably get a well deserved slap. I think the women are right in this case.

The guys on that site like most dating sites are probably depraved loners and its their only contact with members of the opposite sex,

bit of a generalisation there

sopretty

Well the women complaining on facebook clearly want more than a little prick poked up their vagina.

iDave

Maybe they should visit Elite Singles if they don't want to chat to lads looking for a ride.

J_E

sopretty wrote: »

Well the women complaining on facebook clearly want more than a little prick poked up their vagina.

Clearly. Tinder is hardly a sophisticated method to do so. Perhaps people who want something a little more classy should look elsewhere rather than whinge on Facebook that a casual encounter app isn't giving them more than a casual encounter.

Classy post by the way, objectification works both ways it seems.

iDave

sopretty wrote: »

Well the women complaining on facebook clearly want more than a little prick poked up their vagina.

That's just mean

Spunge

sopretty wrote: »

Well the women complaining on facebook clearly want more than a little prick poked up their vagina.

They should probably get off dating sites then. Silly women, use brain, find man, cook food, make baby.

sopretty

I don't know what this Tinder is. Is it an 'I want a ride' site? Or a dating site?

sopretty

iDave wrote: »

That's just mean

Well it must be a little one if he could fit it into the lid of a biro!

sopretty

iDave wrote: »

Maybe they should visit Elite Singles if they don't want to chat to lads looking for a ride.

Would you not just pay for a prostitute?

Yellowblackbird

NSFW

Pictures

J_E

sopretty wrote: »

I don't know what this Tinder is. Is it an 'I want a ride' site? Or a dating site?

It's essentially Grindr for straight people. Speed dating/casual sex app.

The people complaining about being objectified on a superficial app are very fragile butterflies.

iDave

sopretty wrote: »

Would you not just pay for a prostitute?

Fail to see how the two are related

sopretty

Cydoniac wrote: »

It's essentially Grindr for straight people. Speed dating/casual sex app.

The people complaining about being objectified on a superficial app are very fragile butterflies.

Is it a dating site or a casual sex site?

J_E

sopretty wrote: »

Is it a dating site or a casual sex site?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=what+is+tinder

tritium

Well no one is being forced to us it over the vast range of other options. No one is trying to sell it as the height of sophistication. If you're unhappy with it try something else. Whining about it is just childish .

In other words, some folk like attention. Tindr gets them attention, whining about it gets them attention. I like to ignore people like that, they're too much hard work.

MRnotlob606

I am friendly with sea horses

pickarooney

bluewolf wrote: »

So complaining about something on facebook is actually dictating to men on tinder on what they should be interested in. Okay got it

Don't forget the bit where you complain on boards about the complaining on facebook being a dictat... sorry, I've no idea what this thread is about or what anyone is upset about.

Spunge

sopretty wrote: »

Would you not just pay for a prostitute?

You're implying that zero women enjoy casual sex.

AnonoBoy

Spunge wrote: »

You're implying that zero women enjoy casual sex.

I'd say it's not just size zero women but women of all sizes.

Cantremember

Robson Lobson wrote: »

No man wants to cum on a pen or tell a pen what it would like to do to it's lid.

Ted!

Ficheall

Sometimes I ask women on chess.com to play chess with me, even though I wouldn't ask a random woman on the street to do so.
Sometimes I even go so far as to specify a particular opening which I'm interested in, such as the Polish or Italian.
Sometimes they're into that.

AnonoBoy

Ficheall wrote: »

Sometimes I ask women on chess.com to play chess with me, even though I wouldn't ask a random woman on the street to do so.
Sometimes I even go so far as to specify a particular opening which I'm interested in, such as the Polish or Italian.
Sometimes they're into that.

There's no reason why you shouldn't ask random women on the street to play chess with you. Just because men don't do it doesn't mean you can't - the men who don't are weak willed idiots who will get walked on by women for the rest of their lives. You've got to show that you are assertive and masculine, put her on the back foot - she will respect you for it.

Here's your task for today, go out and ask 10 women on the street for a game of chess. Even if they all say no you will have taken an important step.

For more subscribe to my newsletter - Chess Up Artists Weekly.

Lou.m

AnonoBoy wrote: »

There's no reason why you shouldn't ask random women on the street to play chess with you. Just because men don't do it doesn't mean you can't - the men who don't are weak willed idiots who will get walked on by women for the rest of their lives. You've got to show that you are assertive and masculine, put her on the back foot - she will respect you for it.

Here's your task for today, go out and ask 10 women on the street for a game of chess. Even if they all say no you will have taken an important step.

For more subscribe to my newsletter - Chess Up Artists Weekly.

Hate on women and women will hate you back.

Relationships are reciprocal.

You sound like a nerdy virgin.

There are places and events for fun and safe sex ..Nimhneach (although I think that's more fetish based) and munches etc...

Or for god's sake just get a girlfriend.

There is no excuse for being a jerk unless it comes naturally to people.

If a guy lets anyone walk on him that's his fault he has no excuse for letting him become an ass.

If fact it means they beat him. They ground him down.

It's immature and childish.

There's no reason why you shouldn't ask random women on the street to play chess/sex with you.

Don't most men do this anyway already?

Lou.m

Vito Corleone wrote: »

There's so many attention whores (both men and women) on tinder it would drive you insane.

You get that in every walk of life.

pickarooney

Lou.m wrote: »

Hate on women and women will hate you back.

Relationships are reciprocal.

You sound like a nerdy virgin.

There are places and events for fun and safe sex ..Nimhneach (although I think that's more fetish based) and munches etc...

Or for god's sake just get a girlfriend.

There is no excuse for being a jerk unless it comes naturally to people.

If a guy lets anyone walk on him that's his fault he has no excuse for letting him become an ass.

If fact it means they beat him. They ground him down.

It's immature and childish.

Is that immatoor or immachure?

kiffer

Lou.m wrote: »

Hate on women and women will hate you back.

Relationships are reciprocal.

You sound like a nerdy virgin.

There are places and events for fun and safe sex ..Nimhneach (although I think that's more fetish based) and munches etc...

Or for god's sake just get a girlfriend.

There is no excuse for being a jerk unless it comes naturally to people.

If a guy lets anyone walk on him that's his fault he has no excuse for letting him become an ass.

If fact it means they beat him. They ground him down.

It's immature and childish.

I was of the understanding that Nimhneach does not allow sex to take place at the event itself? Just play and so on... anyway none of that has anything to do with chess at all!

strobe

Lou.m wrote: »

Hate on women and women will hate you back.

Relationships are reciprocal.

You sound like a nerdy virgin.

There are places and events for fun and safe sex ..Nimhneach (although I think that's more fetish based) and munches etc...

Or for god's sake just get a girlfriend.

There is no excuse for being a jerk unless it comes naturally to people.

If a guy lets anyone walk on him that's his fault he has no excuse for letting him become an ass.

If fact it means they beat him. They ground him down.

It's immature and childish.

*whooossshhh*

Ray Palmer

D1stant wrote: »

So what are you saying - equal rights for perverts? no thanks

Honesty isn't a perversion.

Adamantium

Cydoniac wrote: »

If you're on Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, or any of those kinds of apps, you are going to have people cut the small talk and be honest as to what they want.

They like you, you like them, let's meet up. I mean, even on Tinder there's an extra barrier of having to say you like them back before you can message even, get none of that on other apps.

If that's not your style, there are other apps like OKCupid and the like where you can explore each other on a more personality-based level.

Complaining you're being objectified to some extent on a hookup site is a bit of an oxymoron. It happens for both genders. It's the format of the app whether you're willing to admit that or not. Don't tell me you look at a profile on one of those apps and look for a personality before physical appearance.

I've been 'objectified' plenty of times by other men. Sometimes it's pleasant sometimes it's not. If anything I'm chuffed in a sense that someone shows interest in me, and I am the one in control of what happens next. You just ignore and move on if it's not. Doing this whole 'men are sexual predators' thing is just nonsense and insulting to the majority of us who are not like that. Just as saying 'women don't want sex' is also nonsense.


If I'll be honest I never thought Tinder would have translated as well to straight people as Grindr has for gay men for the reason of threads like this.


I think these women can speak for themselves, by making a comment like that you're unintentionally suggesting women are not strong enough to make this distinction clearly in conversation. What about women who are just looking for sex also? Are they objects? Tinder gives a woman or man the choice to say no if they don't like how the conversation is going and an easy exit. Surely this is empowering if anything else?

#stoprapinguswithyourwordsandlogic

EyeSight

Does sending dick pics or asking for a shag ever work for lads?

Lou.m

kiffer wrote: »

I was of the understanding that Nimhneach does not allow sex to take place at the event itself? Just play and so on... anyway none of that has anything to do with chess at all!

Correct chess is nothing like sex at all.

I would know.

AnonoBoy

Lou.m wrote: »

You sound like a nerdy virgin.

You sound like you completely missed the tone of my post.

Lou.m

EyeSight wrote: »

Does sending dick pics or asking for a shag ever work for lads?

This is EXACTLY what I am talking about. THANK YOU.

You get this crap all the time.

I don't know if men realize how often you get some random guy sending pics to your email or on facebook or your phone.

And it is completely out of the blue.

I may have only just met this person randomly in a platonic situation and had no sexual undertones whatever.

Are they not worried the girl might put them online? Maybe they think it would be good PR.

Some people do not seem to realize in order to entice a woman she has to actually like you a little and not be scared.

Lou.m

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You sound like you completely missed the tone of my post.

I didn't read it that closely.

Ficheall

AnonoBoy wrote: »

There's no reason why you shouldn't ask random women on the street to play chess with you. Just because men don't do it doesn't mean you can't - the men who don't are weak willed idiots who will get walked on by women for the rest of their lives. You've got to show that you are assertive and masculine, put her on the back foot - she will respect you for it.

Here's your task for today, go out and ask 10 women on the street for a game of chess. Even if they all say no you will have taken an important step.

For more subscribe to my newsletter - Chess Up Artists Weekly.

I do - I was just making a point. For what it's worth, most of them act as surprised and disgusted as if I had asked them if I could stick my toes in their nether regions. I'm guessing.

Is your newsletter anything like this?

Ficheall

Lou.m wrote: »

Correct chess is nothing like sex at all.

That's not entirely true. The chess t-shirt I'm wearing at the moment reads:
"My openings are amazing."


Depends what you're into, I guess...

J_E

Lou.m wrote: »

I don't know if men realize how often you get some random guy sending pics to your email or on facebook or your phone.

As a matter of fact - I do! And you know what? I ignore it. They usually get the message.

WilyCoyote

sopretty wrote: »

That analogy is lost on me. I have no idea what a pen has to do with anything. I've been trying to imagine how the OP would have sex with a pen lol.

A pen is a female Swan. So, if it's consensual then the Swan should not go on the Joe Duffy dissing sopretty.
And please, no smart remarks. Everyone is entitled to their little sexual proclivities.

Lou.m

Lou.m wrote: »

Are they not worried the girl might put them online? Maybe they think it would be good PR..

Apparently some guy kept harassing a woman he didn't know (I don't remember if it was facebook or a dating app or what) with dick pics so she sent them to his mother

Lou.m

Cydoniac wrote: »

As a matter of fact - I do! And you know what? I ignore it. They usually get the message.

No they don't or not all of them do.

You think women/men should just ignore harassment? What about the way it might upset the other person?


I am not talking flirtation or anything. I am talking people with a screw loose.

Lou.m

bluewolf wrote: »

Apparently some guy kept harassing a woman he didn't know (I don't remember if it was facebook or a dating app or what) with dick pics so she sent them to his mother

I don't think that appropriate either. Could she not have reported him?

That's just vindictive. His mother did nothing.

And to be honest would guys like that actually care?

Robson Lobson

bluewolf wrote: »

Apparently some guy kept harassing a woman he didn't know (I don't remember if it was facebook or a dating app or what) with dick pics so she sent them to his mother

She's as bad as him for harrasing someone with indecent images.

AnonoBoy

Robson Lobson wrote: »

She's as bad as him for harrasing someone with indecent images.

Nah, she's not.