BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

margarite

Thanks for the reply doing alright at the moment. Good luck with your daughter.

Foweva Awone

Hate the ambiguity of the "borderline" ... I told a nurse recently that I had borderline personality disorder, then heard her on the phone to the doctor - "she says she has a, eh, mild personality disorder." That's not what I said, as it happens mine would probably be considered at the severe end of the scale rather than "mild", borderline is just the NAME of it. :rolleyes: (I didn't even try saying EUPD, had thought there'd be more chance of her being familiar with BPD.)

Gwen Cooper

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Hate the ambiguity of the "borderline" ... I told a nurse recently that I had borderline personality disorder, then heard her on the phone to the doctor - "she says she has a, eh, mild personality disorder." That's not what I said, as it happens mine would probably be considered at the severe end of the scale rather than "mild", borderline is just the NAME of it. :rolleyes: (I didn't even try saying EUPD, had thought there'd be more chance of her being familiar with BPD.)

Yeah, it's a stupid name. Luckily people don't seem to be too confused about it around me, I had to explain it to about two people so far. The rest of understanding (or afraid to ask )

But speaking of nurses - I was in a pub with a bunch of friends and this guy who works as a nurse joined us at the bar. He asked me why I'm not drinking alcohol, so I explained that I'm on medication. He's like "ooooh what medication I'm interested in that kind of thing, I'm a nurse you know", so I took the pills out of my bag and told him that I have BPD. He quickly grabbed my arm and put it down, signaled that I should be quiet and was looking around nervously. He told me that I shouldn't be talking about these things in public and that I should keep facts like medication and BPD to myself.

This was coming from a nurse, not just some weirdo. It massively pi**ed me off

wexie

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Hate the ambiguity of the "borderline" ... I told a nurse recently that I had borderline personality disorder, then heard her on the phone to the doctor - "she says she has a, eh, mild personality disorder." That's not what I said, as it happens mine would probably be considered at the severe end of the scale rather than "mild", borderline is just the NAME of it. :rolleyes: (I didn't even try saying EUPD, had thought there'd be more chance of her being familiar with BPD.)

There's a big move trying to get away from it as it's a very unsuitable and ambiguous name and one that often doesn't get taken very seriously, it's only 'borderline' right? (Which may well be what the nurse assumed).

wexie

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

This was coming from a nurse, not just some weirdo. It massively pi**ed me off

It's just a lack of understanding, unless he was a psychiatric nurse I wouldn't have expected anything else really.

We're all dangerous psychos don't you know? Could eat your face off as soon as look at ya

:rolleyes:

Cleopatra_

Hello everyone! I just received a diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder the week before last. I was told I had a personality disorder by a registrar about 8 years ago and DBT was suggested but I looked up the symptoms of the disorder and didn't identify with being borderline - I'm not aggressive or manipulative so I dismissed it and didn't go back for treatment. Wish I had now but anyway here I am 8 years later being told I have it by a consultant psychiatrist and finally believing it.

It's like someone has flicked a switch and my behaviour for at least the last fifteen years suddenly makes sense. I can't believe I didn't put it together before. I did 3 years of therapy before the diagnosis and the things I realised about myself there helped me to realise I do have this disorder. It's been a relief in lots of ways as I've often just felt like an alien that landed on this planet. I don't know who I am or what I want, my brain just seems to be wrong and I've just always wanted someone to fix it but didn't think it could be fixed.

I've started to feel so guilty though, and regretful, thinking of all of the relationships and friendships I've ruined. The embarrassing things I've done (mostly while drunk). I just feel like I've fcuked up my life. I'm waiting to see a psychologist to start schema therapy but it's nice to find this thread and meet others with this disorder too.

TomOnBoard

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

Hello everyone! I just received a diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder the week before last. I was told I had a personality disorder by a registrar about 8 years ago and DBT was suggested but I looked up the symptoms of the disorder and didn't identify with being borderline - I'm not aggressive or manipulative so I dismissed it and didn't go back for treatment. Wish I had now but anyway here I am 8 years later being told I have it by a consultant psychiatrist and finally believing it.

It takes many of us a lifetime to figure ourselves out, so try not to go into the self- recrimination arena. Its great that you persisted enough to allow yourself to listen to the Psychiatrist, and hopefully this is the start of a new and self-understanding phase of your life.

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

It's like someone has flicked a switch and my behaviour for at least the last fifteen years suddenly makes sense. I can't believe I didn't put it together before. I did 3 years of therapy before the diagnosis and the things I realised about myself there helped me to realise I do have this disorder. It's been a relief in lots of ways as I've often just felt like an alien that landed on this planet. I don't know who I am or what I want, my brain just seems to be wrong and I've just always wanted someone to fix it but didn't think it could be fixed.

Good insight and interesting description. It will help others who don't know what its like, to understand people who have to deal with this.

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

I've started to feel so guilty though, and regretful, thinking of all of the relationships and friendships I've ruined. The embarrassing things I've done (mostly while drunk). I just feel like I've fcuked up my life. I'm waiting to see a psychologist to start schema therapy but it's nice to find this thread and meet others with this disorder too.

Stop the guilt thing, especially about the "what I did when I was drunk" thoughts. We all do things we would prefer we didn't. What's done is done, and no matter what you did, it cannot be changed. So move on from that! Right now!

Some of those relationships and friendships may still be peripherally active, others are over and done with. Forget about the latter. As to the former, when you're up to it, and under the advice an guidance of your counsellors etc., make contact with those ppl. and you'll find the words to express your feelings without going OTT. Some will not want to hear, others will just hug it out with you.

The only time you can really say that you fcuked up your life is when you have no life left. Anyone can change their lives if they want it enough. So, again, enough with the recriminations! What's done is done so its an absolutely pointless and self- destructive activity to dwell on the past, EXCEPT to learn from it and move on with a greater sense of self- awareness without obsessiveness.

I truly hope the future becomes the life you will eventually look back upon with fondness.

ufo9038

Hi All,

I was just diagnosed with BPD today. Actually glad that now there's a name to it, and I'm one step closer to getting it fixed. Community support is tremendous so I'm looking for a support group here. I'm based in Dublin, and on the list to Vincent. Are there any support groups in Dublin for BPD that are still going on?

Ariadne

Hey everyone. I'm just bumping this thread because my latest fcuk up is haunting me. I guess I'd just like to be able to talk to people who've been in the same position as me and are dealing with BPD too.

TomOnBoard

Succubus_ wrote: »

Hey everyone. I'm just bumping this thread because my latest fcuk up is haunting me. I guess I'd just like to be able to talk to people who've been in the same position as me and are dealing with BPD too.

First and most immediately. the fcuk up is done. It might not have been very wise, it may have been hurtful to someone, but RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THIS MINUTE, it's done!

So, right now, the fcuk up itself is history... Right now, what's doing your head in is not the fcuk-up itself, but your guilt and feelings of its after- effect(s).

So your first step is to move beyond how its haunting you. Rather, how did your actions/thoughts/ assessments/reactions affect the other people, particularly the ones who were your greatest buddies yesterday. Remember, one of the greatest BPD challenges, whether one is the subject or the object, is dealing with

Today, my Hero; Tomorrow, my Zero!

I'm not popping at you.. I'm trying to be straight with you.

Ariadne

TomOnBoard wrote: »

First and most immediately. the fcuk up is done. It might not have been very wise, it may have been hurtful to someone, but RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THIS MINUTE, it's done!

So, right now, the fcuk up itself is history... Right now, what's doing your head in is not the fcuk-up itself, but your guilt and feelings of its after- effect(s).

So your first step is to move beyond how its haunting you. Rather, how did your actions/thoughts/ assessments/reactions affect the other people, particularly the ones who were your greatest buddies yesterday. Remember, one of the greatest BPD challenges, whether one is the subject or the object, is dealing with

Today, my Hero; Tomorrow, my Zero!

I'm not popping at you.. I'm trying to be straight with you.

Thank you very much for your reply. I'm trying to make amends for what I've done, mainly to my partner. I feel a mixture of shame and fear that I'll do something like this again. I feel like I'm a toxic person and she would really be better off without me, as would my friends and family. If I can't guarantee that I'll stop hurting people then I don't know what I should do. Go and live as a hermit somewhere?

triona1

Well im back!can't find Rachael and catrin love to know how you are both getting on,ive blank pms 😳 hope you are all doing well. X

triona1

If i can be any help to an outsider looking in ill answer any questions but ill answer honestly ive learned its the only way if any of you want to look back there was only 3 of us at the start and not one of us had a clue im 44 my husband is 43 ive 4 kids and im doing my best still i of course can't give med advice but i might be able to give the outsider points of view.

Gremlinertia

This is my diagnosis too, after many years to and fro about symptoms etc. I'm forty and only digging into some areas in therapy in the last weeks. But i am still here when so many have not lived to tell the tale..
Well done Triona

triona1

Grem.
Everyone has to be on team and I mean that and I'm sorry to say I bailed I couldn't do it anymore facing a divorce next week but my own mental health couldn't cope I'm heartbroken but I had to leave as above I'll answer what I am allowed my husband was so lucky with his dx and got great help but relapsed in the last year he was doing so well I left the family home and the older kids with him he was doing so so well ideation kicked back in and now I'm in a situation where I can do nothing because of divorce proceedings and his comfort his therapist took Tulsa into things and I've probably lost my 2 under 18 kids I can only wish everyone the best and for the carer's listen to Tulsa they took his side and I'm in limbo.

esme95

I wake up smiling and singing to myself and right now I just want to drown. Anyone else have a habit of conversing with themselves?

TomOnBoard

esme95 wrote: »

I wake up smiling and singing to myself and right now I just want to drown. Anyone else have a habit of conversing with themselves?

I'm noticing that you've not received a reply, and I'm going to try and frame an appropriate one. Firstly, I'm a bit concerned at the thrust of your post, as this can only be a thread to offer support but not advice or medical assistance.

Secondly, and acknowledging that caveat, can I suggest that:

1. You're describing a range of moods that seem to be perhaps so much Early Up followed by Late Down within a single day that I would suggest merits discussion with a GP in the 1st instance...

2. Re. Conversing with oneself... We all have internal mechanisms that 'speak' to us from time to time and help us to adjust our actions based on our moral compass and what we would consider to be perhaps conscience. However, such internal mechanisms would probably usually operate at a subliminal level, and would not develop to the point of 'conversation' involving voices,sounds or similar... Again, this is something that would probably best be discussed with a Care Professional if it is a matter of any concern.

None of this means that you are in difficulty.. It does mean however, that a stranger on the internet, based on what you've posted, is suggesting that this is probably not the place wherein you will find reliable answers to your questions; that place is your GP surgery in the 1st instance.

I wish you well...

TomOnBoard

triona1 wrote: »

Grem.
Everyone has to be on team and I mean that and I'm sorry to say I bailed I couldn't do it anymore facing a divorce next week but my own mental health couldn't cope I'm heartbroken but I had to leave as above I'll answer what I am allowed my husband was so lucky with his dx and got great help but relapsed in the last year he was doing so well I left the family home and the older kids with him he was doing so so well ideation kicked back in and now I'm in a situation where I can do nothing because of divorce proceedings and his comfort his therapist took Tulsa into things and I've probably lost my 2 under 18 kids I can only wish everyone the best and for the carer's listen to Tulsa they took his side and I'm in limbo.

Wishing you well, and hoping that things improve for you. My only word of advice is to take each minute, hour, day and week ONE AT A TIME... Try not to go beyond the current one just for RIGHT NOW.. Above all, look after yourself!

Next week, or next month, 'twill hopefully be a little easier.

Aspiration

I'm resurrecting this thread in hopes that there may now be some sort of support group or meetup (in-person or online) available? My sister has been diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder and I'm looking for groups where she can speak to others about what she's going through.

apache

I would be very interested in finding out any support groups etc there are also.

I have been diagnosed with this by a few different psychiatrists and they can't all be wrong. I don't want to have it but I know deep down I have it.

I was seeing public psychiatrists for years, then seeing private the past good few years but have been referred back to the public because they tell me there is more supports ie DBT etc. I am very dissappointed about this but with my history of addiction I don't feel a private psychiatrist is keen to take me on. I think I will be waiting ages for an appointment. My GP is looking after my meds now until I get seen. I am drug free coming up 3 months now but I am left with an agonising void in my life.

I don't know what else to say but writing this has helped me.

Aspiration

Thanks apache. I'm sure you're going through some difficult times, as is my sister. I haven't been able to find any info on support groups. I'm even considering creating one but I have no idea how to go about it. Your post really helped me know that my sister is not the only one who's going through this right now.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117917638#Comment_117917638

In regards to EUPD / BPD there is a move to classify it as cptsd and developmental trauma. Therapy is what is recommended. With time as a person ages, research has shown that many people no longer meet the criteria. John Gunderson is very compasionate in his writings. The thing is to take all the forms of therapy that are being offered when you're young as a major component is interpersonal difficulties the person could become entrenched in isolation when their older, from unknowingly pushing people away

shakingstephen

I reregistered to post this, I hope that's ok.

My daughter has been unwell the last few months, she is 18 and attended St Pat's. The diagnosis is "an adjustment disorder with emotional unstable personality disorder traits"

Just wondering if anyone has any experience of this, what we are unclear about is, is the emotional unstable personality disorder traits as a result of the adjustment disorder or is it two seperate issues that aren't linked ie can you get a diagnosis of adjustment disorder and seperately have a diagnosis of emotional unstable personality disorder traits.

Gremlinertia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118515340#Comment_118515340

It sounds like the Adjustment Disorder is the primary diagnosis presuming accurate quoting. Honestly, there should be ongoing care in which case ask your daughter if you can come see the person treating her so you can ask questions to explain this further. Well done to you both for seeking help..

LilacNails

Not sure if its ok to comment on this thread, it doesnt seem that too long ago someone posted?!

Just wondering if anyone has done DBT or Schema therapy for BPD?

Gremlinertia

Yeah did dbt a few years ago. Schema doesn't seem widely available at least in the west..

apache

How do you go about getting a DBT course? My GP dosen't know what it is and won't refer me. I think it's only done on the public.

TomOnBoard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118872923#Comment_118872923

What HSE area of the country are you in?

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118872938#Comment_118872938

Dublin

LilacNails

Your gp can refer you to psychologist/psychiatrist and they would arrange it for you. Your gp doesn't sound very helpful if it's something u really need I would stress this to them or change gp's.