What was said on a thread

ants09

Hi.

I posted unregistered on personal issues/relationships issues.

Yesterday i reported 5 posts by 4 different posters on the thread that in my opinion was dragging the thread offline, this is still my opinion but the moderators in personal issues think differently.

I posted a comment at roughly 5pm yesterday which the moderator didn't put up on the thread and decided to close the thread.

When the moderator closed the thread she commented on the fact that i reported some posters that i disagree with, this i disagree with as i never seen it before that a moderator would post such a comment, i also think its unethical and not independent that the moderator that closes the thread is one of the posters that you make a complaint against

I pm this moderator asking her why she closed the thread and can she open it again, she opened it up again and deleted her comment.

Since i posted the post unregistered i had to use this account to complain about the specific post, i didn't tell the moderator at the time as i didn't think it was needed and i also knew that the unregistered post and my registered name post would have the same ip address and would be found out, as i know that moderators look up ip address when dealing with queries.

As i said my problem is that the moderator in question
Put up on the thread originally that i reported specific posters with i find rather disturbing as i don't think its right

Looking forward to your replies

Ants09

Spear

Moderators do not see IPs and never have or could.

ants09

I beg to differ Spear
As i was once a moderator on a English site years ago and when we were dealing with problems/queries we look up the ip address of the poster to see there history like if they were banned and creating a new name to get around the band or if they had multiple names

Zaph

ants09 wrote: »

I beg to differ Spear
As i was once a moderator on a English site years ago and when we were dealing with problems/queries we look up the ip address of the poster to see there history like if they were banned and creating a new name to get around the band or if they had multiple names

That may have been how that site worked, but I can guarantee you that mods on Boards do not have access to IP addresses. The only people that the IP address is visible to are the admins and Boards staff. Even then, looking up IP addresses on unregistered posts isn't straightforward. Besides, we have better things to be doing with ourselves than looking up IP addresses on forums we don't mod ourselves.

ants09

Sorry my mistake then

Big Bag of Chips

ants09 wrote: »

As i said my problem is that the moderator in question
Put up on the thread originally that i reported specific posters with i find rather disturbing as i don't think its right

This is not true.

I did say in my note when closing the thread that because you had indicated in your previous post that your issue was resolved, and due to you reporting a number of posts that it was clear you didn't want the discussion to continue. I never mentioned "specific posters" that you reported.

We regularly close threads when the issue seems to be resolved, or when the OP appears to not be interested in a certain type of response. We cannot dictate what other people are and aren't allowed post. Once they are mature and civil in their advice, then we must allow the post to remain. Just because the advice is not specifically what you asked for or not what you want to hear doesn't mean it's off-topic.

You reported 5 posts from 3 different posters, and none of the other moderators felt any of the posts Breached the Charter. Yes, I am the one who closed the thread, but the fact still remains that it was closed for a couple of reasons not just because you reported posts of mine.

On the issue of not approving one of your posts, and instead closing the thread: I was not at the laptop, and was viewing the thread on the touch site on my phone. On the touch site moderators see unapproved posts in the thread no differently to other posts. So when I read through the thread I saw your post, and assumed it was approved. It was only later when I went on the full site I saw it was unapproved, and I approved it then.

And I have no access to IP addresses but it didn't take a genius to figure out you were the OP of the thread, pretending that you weren't.

ants09

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

This is not true.

I did say in my note when closing the thread that because you had indicated in your previous post that your issue was resolved, and due to you reporting a number of posts that it was clear you didn't want the discussion to continue. I never mentioned "specific posters" that you reported.

How is it not true ? you mention in your post when you closed the thread originally that i reported specific posters, just because i use the word specific doesn't mean that you named the posters that i reported. as specific in this context meant specifically to a item (which is the 5 posts i reported). To even put it up that i reported somebody on a thread i find disgusting and deploring to be honest, Boards asks posters to report treads to moderators for a variety of reasons, but then for a moderator to post up on a thread the x,y or z reported posts is well pretty low and i sure posters won't report post if they know that its acceptable for moderators to name the posters who report threads.

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

We regularly close threads when the issue seems to be resolved, or when the OP appears to not be interested in a certain type of response. We cannot dictate what other people are and aren't allowed post. Once they are mature and civil in their advice, then we must allow the post to remain. Just because the advice is not specifically what you asked for or not what you want to hear doesn't mean it's off-topic.

Are you saying i was not interested in a certain type of response ? ah here if you notice in my thread [58] To the posters who replied to my question thanks for your replies much appreciated how is that not interested in a certain type of advice i was thanking the posters for there advice or is it confusing to read and understand ? like you implied when you said 'I'm guessing that English isn't the OP's first language, so I am taking the use of "planned" quite loosely.' when i have over 500 posts on Boards and your the first poster that ever said that to me which i find quite astonishing if it wasn't so funny

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

You reported 5 posts from 3 different posters, and none of the other moderators felt any of the posts Breached the Charter. Yes, I am the one who closed the thread, but the fact still remains that it was closed for a couple of reasons not just because you reported posts of mine.

Yes i reported 5 posts 2 of them was you and then the moderator that you report is the same moderator that closes the thread down ? now that could seem like you had a grudge against me and decided to close the thread because you were a moderator.
If it was closed for a couple of reasons then why did you open it up again when i PM you ? as was the reasons not valid then once you got the PM ?

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

On the issue of not approving one of your posts, and instead closing the thread: I was not at the laptop, and was viewing the thread on the touch site on my phone. On the touch site moderators see unapproved posts in the thread no differently to other posts. So when I read through the thread I saw your post, and assumed it was approved. It was only later when I went on the full site I saw it was unapproved, and I approved it then.

Very convenient explanation ain't it ?
Or i could turn around and say i don't believe you with that explenation to be honest and the reason i don't believe that explenation is because your a moderator, you seem intelligent and you don't assume things if you know that there is a weakness or deficiency in what your using ie the mobile phone because your in a position of authority being a moderator and your actions reflect on boards.

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

And I have no access to IP addresses but it didn't take a genius to figure out you were the OP of the thread, pretending that you weren't

If you notice on my previous thread i said 'sorry my mistake then' in relation to the IP issue. As for a genius i never pretended i told you in my send pm to you. so don't try and make a mountain out of a molehill please.

Big Bag of Chips

ants09 wrote: »

How is it not true ? you mention in your post when you closed the thread originally that i reported specific posters, just because i use the word specific doesn't mean that you named the posters that i reported.

It does. If that's not what you meant then you are using the word in the wrong context,

as specific in this context meant specifically to a item (which is the 5 posts i reported).

I don't understand what you mean "specifically to a item"?

but then for a moderator to post up on a thread the x,y or z reported posts is well pretty low and i sure posters won't report post if they know that its acceptable for moderators to name the posters who report threads.

You posted anonymously. So your "name" (even your username!) is not known by anybody.

Are you saying i was not interested in a certain type of response ? ah here if you notice in my thread [58] To the posters who replied to my question thanks for your replies much appreciated how is that not interested in a certain type of advice

Because you were only interested in hearing certain types of advice. You were not interested in hearing all advice offered to you on the thread. You even said as much yourself when you kept telling people to just answer the question "What do you think?". Unfortunately when you ask that.. people will tell you what they think, on a range of issues. Not just on the one issue you want opinions on. That is the norm on any forum you post in.

Yes i reported 5 posts 2 of them was you

3 of them were me.

If it was closed for a couple of reasons then why did you open it up again when i PM you ? as was the reasons not valid then once you got the PM ?

Because in my closing post I said that it would seem your issue was resolved and you weren't interested in hearing certain opinions. I did say, as we do on many threads we close, that if you want it reopened to PM a moderator and we would reopen it, but you'd have to be prepared to hear advice and opinions that you mightn't like. So when you asked me to reopen it, I reopened it. Surely if I had a grudge against you I would have just ignored your request, or replied and told you that I wouldn't reopen it. But no, I told you if you wanted it reopened it would be, and when you requested that I kept my word.

On the unapproved post...

Very convenient explanation ain't it ?
Or i could turn around and say i don't believe you with that explenation to be honest

I'm sorry you don't believe me, but it is the truth.

As for a genius i never pretended i told you in my send pm to you.

Again, I don't understand what you are saying here.
You reported posts talking about yourself in the 3rd person.. "the OP asked", "the OP meant". If you were not pretending to be someone else, why did you not straight up say "I am the OP, I don't like what is being said here..." You reported 5 posts, you had plenty of opportunity to be honest. Instead you pretended to be a different poster.

Anyway, I have said and clarified all I need to. I apologise to the Admins for not reporting my own close-thread post before editing it to keep it as a record, and as soon as I edited it I realised I had made a mistake.

I won't post on this thread again, and I will hand this over to the Admins to resolve. If there is anything I did that I shouldn't have I will live and learn from this, and won't do it again.

Taltos

Hi ants09

Thought I would give my taken on your thread here and how you feel you've been handled.

I like to break things down to their component parts - it's helps my understanding of issues.
1. You posted this thread as an unreg'd user
2. Basically anyone who told you to end it or disagreed with you had their advice ignored or reported.
3. BBoC's assumption you were foreign was not racist - from the language and grammar it was a valid assumption and is helpful in setting the context for the advice offered, not all cultures have the same view to alcohol consumption as many Irish, although even in this country there is now a broad spectrum of views and it is continuing to change as our culture changes. So in short - calling the mod here racist is really not very nice at best, disingenuous at worst.
4. Closing the thread - to be honest after the range of the reported posts, your unwillingness to hear advice you didn't want to hear that was the right choice. Ideally BBoC could have asked one of the other mods to action the thread, and while that might have been ideal the end result would have been the same - your thread would still have been closed. Remember we're volunteers so unfortunately there is not always someone around, this does mean that sometimes yes a Mod has to action a thread they have posted in, but I have every faith in the mod team in PI to separate their posting selves from their moderator role - something that is critical when they are dealing with threads on suicide or abuse every day.
5. BBoC reopened the thread on your request, giving you the benefit of the doubt that you were now willing to at least listen to alternate advice. Personally I wouldn't have cut you that slack, not a chance in hell. Something that is borne out in your approach to hearing input on this thread.
6. Your GF did post - it is still there unapproved & deleted so it doesn't show as requiring action. Again all you have to do is ask her if she did, instead of using the "oh that was convenient", the username she used was - ятсобоч. The standard approach when partners post in on threads is to immediately close them with the standard advice of "Go talk to each other, the internet is not the medium for that".

So in short your claims of racism or of being treated unfairly are all unfounded in my mind. Let's face it BBoC doesn't know you from the guy down the street. If you really do feel you are being victimised here, can I respectfully suggest you take some time out and have a long hard look at yourself and your interactions with others. It's all too easy to blame others but sometimes the only answer is the one we don't want to hear or are not ready to hear. Equally quite often the advice offered in PI (based on limited information) is the advice not sought but is still the best advice out there, for example leave the relationship / seek professional help etc etc.

ants09

1. You posted this thread as an unreg'd user I am not disputing this i said this in my original post here.

2. Basically anyone who told you to end it or disagreed with you had their advice ignored or reported. my post thread [58] To the posters who replied to my question thanks for your replies much appreciated. I assume this is basic English and easily understood as its saying thank you to the posters, maybe you have a different interpretation of this ?

3. BBoC's assumption you were foreign was not racist - from the language and grammar it was a valid assumption and is helpful in setting the context for the advice offered, not all cultures have the same view to alcohol consumption as many Irish, although even in this country there is now a broad spectrum of views and it is continuing to change as our culture changes. So in short - calling the mod here racist is really not very nice at best, disingenuous at worst. I have over 500 posts on boards and BBoC is the first poster that ever said that to me (i wonder why) also i find it hard to believe that she had difficulty understanding my English So yes in my opinion she did make raciest comments to me.

4. Closing the thread - to be honest after the range of the reported posts, your unwillingness to hear advice you didn't want to hear that was the right choice. Ideally BBoC could have asked one of the other mods to action the thread, and while that might have been ideal the end result would have been the same - your thread would still have been closed. Remember we're volunteers so unfortunately there is not always someone around, this does mean that sometimes yes a Mod has to action a thread they have posted in, but I have every faith in the mod team in PI to separate their posting selves from their moderator role - something that is critical when they are dealing with threads on suicide or abuse every day.
I reported 5 posts because in my opinion they were against the chartered of the thread, you dont believe me thats fair enough i not here disputing the 5 posts i reported i here because the MOD put up on the thread that i reported post ? is this acceptable ? as i never seen this before ? as i think its disgraceful behaviour to be honest.

5. BBoC reopened the thread on your request, giving you the benefit of the doubt that you were now willing to at least listen to alternate advice. Personally I wouldn't have cut you that slack, not a chance in hell. Something that is borne out in your approach to hearing input on this thread. Again irrelevant as i am not here because of this, i am here because the MOD posted up that i reported posts.

6. Your GF did post - it is still there unapproved & deleted so it doesn't show as requiring action. Again all you have to do is ask her if she did, instead of using the "oh that was convenient", the username she used was - ятсобоч. The standard approach when partners post in on threads is to immediately close them with the standard advice of "Go talk to each other, the internet is not the medium for that". Again irrelevant as i am not here because of this i am here because the MOD posted up on the thread that i reported post. And i do not know why your even mentioning this.

So in short your claims of racism or of being treated unfairly are all unfounded in my mind. Let's face it BBoC doesn't know you from the guy down the street. If you really do feel you are being victimised here, can I respectfully suggest you take some time out and have a long hard look at yourself and your interactions with others. It's all too easy to blame others but sometimes the only answer is the one we don't want to hear or are not ready to hear. Equally quite often the advice offered in PI (based on limited information) is the advice not sought but is still the best advice out there, for example leave the relationship / seek professional help etc etc. I got advice on the site, i appreciated every thread and the posters time, some post i disagreed with some post i agreed with, the MOD said in her post that i don't think it was pre-planned or pre-medicated, and in another post, i dont think English is the OP's first language so i am taking the use of 'planned' quite loosely, the meaning of the word planned is the same in any language, does that make it that if the mod assumed i was English then her interpertation of the word planned be different to if i was Polish, German or Greek ? if so then that is Raciest as planned is planned no matter what language its use in. I dont feel vicitimised here.

As i said this post is because the MOD said in her post that i reported posters ? is this acceptable behaviour, is this the norm ? as i find it quite disgusting that a MOD would post up the x,y or z reported posts in a thread.

ants09

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

It does. If that's not what you meant then you are using the word in the wrong context,

I am not using the word in the wrong context.

I don't understand what you mean "specifically to a item"?

Specifically to a item mean's the posts i reported, thread [24] point 5, thread [34] i guesting English .... etc

You posted anonymously. So your "name" (even your username!) is not known by anybody.

Irrelevant and not here because of this

Because you were only interested in hearing certain types of advice. You were not interested in hearing all advice offered to you on the thread. You even said as much yourself when you kept telling people to just answer the question "What do you think?". Unfortunately when you ask that.. people will tell you what they think, on a range of issues. Not just on the one issue you want opinions on. That is the norm on any forum you post in.

I asked for advice 'what do you guys think ... i got advice on what posters taught, in my post thread [58] to the posters ... much appreciated. So i was thanking posters so how is that not hearing or interested in there advice or opinion as if i wasn't i wouldn't off posted that comment taking posters.

3 of them were me.

Yes i reported 3 of your post, and the mod's didn't do anything, so i accept there opinion, but don't agree with it, as far as i concerned this point is irrelevant.

Because in my closing post I said that it would seem your issue was resolved and you weren't interested in hearing certain opinions. I did say, as we do on many threads we close, that if you want it reopened to PM a moderator and we would reopen it, but you'd have to be prepared to hear advice and opinions that you mightn't like. So when you asked me to reopen it, I reopened it. Surely if I had a grudge against you I would have just ignored your request, or replied and told you that I wouldn't reopen it. But no, I told you if you wanted it reopened it would be, and when you requested that I kept my word.

That's your opinion that i wasn't interested in hearing certain opinions, if i wasn't interested why would i of thank posters ? i am not here about why you closed the thread or your reasons i am here because what you posted on the thread when you closed it, i don't find that acceptable and that is the problem i have, to date you have not answer my question to this, if you have we would not be here.

On the unapproved post...

Again irrelivant as not here because you did not approved my post i am here because of what you wrote when you closed the thread.

I'm sorry you don't believe me, but it is the truth.

Well i don't believe it and i gave my reasons why i don't.

Again, I don't understand what you are saying here.
You reported posts talking about yourself in the 3rd person.. "the OP asked", "the OP meant". If you were not pretending to be someone else, why did you not straight up say "I am the OP, I don't like what is being said here..." You reported 5 posts, you had plenty of opportunity to be honest. Instead you pretended to be a different poster.

I was honest with you in my pm, i told you i was the OP, yes when i reported the post i should of saying it but i didn't.

Anyway, I have said and clarified all I need to. I apologise to the Admins for not reporting my own close-thread post before editing it to keep it as a record, and as soon as I edited it I realised I had made a mistake.

Are you saying that the post you mention that i reported posters is now gone since you amended it and you didn't keep it ?

I won't post on this thread again, and I will hand this over to the Admins to resolve. If there is anything I did that I shouldn't have I will live and learn from this, and won't do it again.

I am not here for your head, i am here because you said on the thread that i reported posters, i don't think you should of said that, to date you have not explained why you done it, or is it acceptable, if you would of explained to me this etc then we wouldn't be here discussing this.

Big Bag of Chips

Ok, one last time:

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I did say in my note when closing the thread that because you had indicated in your previous post that your issue was resolved, and due to you reporting a number of posts that it was clear you didn't want the discussion to continue. I never mentioned "specific posters" that you reported.

I mentioned reported posts for there to be transparency on why the thread was locked. Personal Issues is one forum where people take time out of there lives to help and advise people in all sorts of personal issues and situations.

Regularly people invest a lot of time to help others. And if threads are shut down with little or no explanation it can become frustrating for posters who have invested their time in trying to help someone.

Nobody on that thread knows who you are. Unless of course they read this thread. Up to that point you were the only one who reported any posts, and you reported posts that you did not like the content of. That is not a breach of the charter. That is you hearing things you don't want to hear. PI posters are usually bang on the money, and any breaches of the charter are reported almost immediately and by a few posters.

So to answer your question, for the final time, I said: from your last post (which I didn't realise was unapproved at the time, why on earth would I make any reference to it if I thought it was invisible to everyone?) it would seem that your issue was now resolved and from the posts you reported it was clear that you did not want the discussion to continue.

This, as I said was to clarify for you, and the other posters, as to why the thread was closed.

If I apologise for (anonymously and temporarily) embarrassing you by mentioning you had reported posts... Will you apologise to me for (publicly and permanently) calling me a racist?

ants09

Can a Admin or Moderator close this thread please as its being Resolve via PM thanks