The all new and only slightly recycled off topic thread (read post 1)

Sound of Silence

chupacabra wrote: »

So I'm about to go on stage and do stand up comedy for the first time in my life next week. I get 6 minutes and its happening in a comedy club in Tartu city, Estonia.

Has anyone had this experience before. I know I should be asking this question in the comedy forum but **** it, cant be arsed.

Well, be sure to let us know how you got on!

I personally would never have the balls to go up on stage, despite my love of comedy! So fair dues to you, man.

CatFromHue

I've stood up in front of a group and they've laughed but it wasn't intentional..........

Six mins is a long time, you'd want to have a good bit of material.

awec

Yea 6 mins is a lot, the average joke is going to take what, 10 / 20 seconds?

fitz

chupacabra wrote: »

So I'm about to go on stage and do stand up comedy for the first time in my life next week. I get 6 minutes and its happening in a comedy club in Tartu city, Estonia.

Has anyone had this experience before. I know I should be asking this question in the comedy forum but **** it, cant be arsed.

Good luck!
Performing in front of a group only gets easier the more you do it.
There's no shortcut to the point where you're not sh*tting it.
Those first few times the adrenaline will make you nervy, feel sick, etc.
You'll get used to it, being well rehearsed will get you through it until then.

chupacabra

CatFromHue wrote: »

I've stood up in front of a group and they've laughed but it wasn't intentional..........

Six mins is a long time, you'd want to have a good bit of material.

awec wrote: »

Yea 6 mins is a lot, the average joke is going to take what, 10 / 20 seconds?

I have around 10 minutes that i'll cut down. I'm a bit of a stand up comedy nerd so ive drank in hundreds of hours of stand up specials in the last few years. The trick is the timing, if i dont get that down im screwed.

fitz wrote: »

Good luck!
Performing in front of a group only gets easier the more you do it.
There's no shortcut to the point where you're not sh*tting it.
Those first few times the adrenaline will make you nervy, feel sick, etc.
You'll get used to it, being well rehearsed will get you through it until then.

I expect nothing less than to bomb horribly, and im prepared for it. Thanks for the support though.

Podge_irl

Is the crowd likely to be native English speakers or Estonians?

pickarooney

If all else fails, go for the easy laughs.

chupacabra

Podge_irl wrote: »

Is the crowd likely to be native English speakers or Estonians?

Tartu is a big University city. So im told its mostly Estonian students with a sprinkling of foreigners. Its hosted by an Australian and an American though and all the comedians perform in English.

Free booze for all performers too so I plan on getting a wee bit trollied before hand.

Podge_irl

chupacabra wrote: »

Tartu is a big University city. So im told its mostly Estonian students with a sprinkling of foreigners. Its hosted by an Australian and an American though and all the comedians perform in English.

Free booze for all performers too so I plan on getting a wee bit trollied before hand.

Good luck with it!

Ignoring the fact I'm a terrible stand up there is no way I could do that as there is not a hope people would understand me. I constantly have problems in work with non-native speakers (and honestly, the odd English person) not having a clue what I'm saying. If I was up on a stage I'd inevitably start spouting out at 200 wpm

chupacabra

Podge_irl wrote: »

Good luck with it!

Ignoring the fact I'm a terrible stand up there is no way I could do that as there is not a hope people would understand me. I constantly have problems in work with non-native speakers (and honestly, the odd English person) not having a clue what I'm saying. If I was up on a stage I'd inevitably start spouting out at 200 wpm

I fortunately (or unfortunately) have a very very broad accent. People think im American sometimes and certainly dont believe i'm from Kerry. I hear you on the fast speaking thing though, i'm prone to it myself. But yerah, its a dream ive had since seeing Brendan Grace in Killarney a billion years ago so its time to give it a shot.

Buer

chupacabra wrote: »

Free booze for all performers too so I plan on getting a wee bit trollied before hand.

Always a double edged sword, for me. I've done speeches and been terrified so had a good feed of alcohol throughout the day. I've drank enough to keep me lubricated but not enough to overcome the adrenaline/nerves that kept me sharp and didn't slur my words.

After being up there though, the adrenaline wears off and you sit there thinking "I'm utterly smashed".

I would say though that I expect you'll feel amazing when you finish up and will be delighted you went through with it whether the audience cracks up or not. Best of luck.

chupacabra

Buer wrote: »

Always a double edged sword, for me. I've done speeches and been terrified so had a good feed of alcohol throughout the day. I've drank enough to keep me lubricated but not enough to overcome the adrenaline/nerves that kept me sharp and didn't slur my words.

After being up there though, the adrenaline wears off and you sit there thinking "I'm utterly smashed".

I would say though that I expect you'll feel amazing when you finish up and will be delighted you went through with it whether the audience cracks up or not. Best of luck.

Yeah I wont get legless. Just 3 or 4 pints to loosen up. I think its going to be recorded as the whole night is for the big wigs of Baltic comedy to try out new material before touring. So maybe ill post it here if I dont absolutely bottle it.

molloyjh

chupacabra wrote: »

Yeah I wont get legless. Just 3 or 4 pints to loosen up. I think its going to be recorded as the whole night is for the big wigs of Baltic comedy to try out new material before touring. So maybe ill post it here if I dont absolutely bottle it.

I've done some open session stuff with the guitar and I remember when I first got up to do it I had that serious nervous excitement. I wasn't great by any means and knew that myself, but with the adrenalin I just didn't care. No sooner was I down off the stage than I wanted to be back up there again.

I found 2 drinks was the perfect amount to keep me from getting too nervous but also not have an impact on what I was doing. Any more than that and I really noticed it. But I suppose the physical coordination involved on the guitar is quite different to stand-up. You'll probably get away with a couple more jars.

Best of luck with it. I'm sure you'll find that you'll do fine. You won't be epic but you won't tank either. And it'll whet your appetite for more. Let us know how you get on.

Burgo

Lions Raw dvd for a £5 on amazon.

Blu Ray for £15.

pickarooney

Did anyone watch that cricket game earlier? Seems like Ireland/Netherlands matches are a bit of guaranteed excitement.

matthew8

pickarooney wrote: »

Did anyone watch that cricket game earlier? Seems like Ireland/Netherlands matches are a bit of guaranteed excitement.

Yeah had a look when I saw they were at 68 after 4 overs. Crazy stuff. Irish bowlers seemed really bad and Joyce really should have made that catch while it was still a game, could've been the difference.

Buer

Really disappointing showing from Ireland. Some of the figures are mad stuff. One of the Dutch batsmen hit 45 off 15 balls in 14 minutes at the crease! Crazy. The players will be bitterly disappointed with that I would think after setting a high target (highest opening innings of the tournament).

.ak

I love reading/listening to cricket terms when I have absolutely no idea what any of it means. Sounds like you've gone full crazy.

wp_rathead

Ugh my 3pm to 9pm shift tomorrow been changed to a 11am to 10pm

Plus just saw Ireland out of the cricket world cup... worst Friday ever

awec

.ak wrote: »

I love reading/listening to cricket terms when I have absolutely no idea what any of it means. Sounds like you've gone full crazy.

They are saying the bowling is poor because the dutch are getting a lot of runs compared to how many balls have been bowled at them.

45 runs from 15 means an average of 3 runs per-ball. That's terrible.

pickarooney

There were lads hitting three and four sixes in a row on both sides. If cricket was more about that than fannying about with ones and twos I might actually watch more games.

awec

pickarooney wrote: »

There were lads hitting three and four sixes in a row on both sides. If cricket was more about that than fannying about with ones and twos I might actually watch more games.

20/20 would probably suit you better. Test cricket can be really dull.

If I watch the ashes I usually either only watch the final day of each test or I just put it on TV but do something else at the same time.

Buer

Test cricket can be very boring unless you're at it with a decent group and out for the day. If you're heading along for 5 or 6 hours to just sit and watch the cricket, you're gonna have a bad time.

pickarooney

An Aussie mate of mine who I play rugby with joined a cricket team here in France a while back. Some of their trips away were mental. They went to play in Bordeaux and there was a full-on fist-fight on the pitch and half of Monty Python were in the crowd*.


*If nineteen people and a Yorkshire poodle can be considered a crowd.

The Lost Sheep

Cricket is savage. would love to play but just don't have the time. only times I can remember even being on a cricket pitch were in Dublin at whatever rugby club share ground or something with a cricket club and at a welsh rugby club who shared their ground with a rugby club on a tour on the beer 6/7 years ago

20-20 is perfect for those getting into cricket for first time. test cricket can be dull but fascinating and tactics etc are so vital..

Grimebox

chupacabra wrote: »

Yeah I wont get legless. Just 3 or 4 pints to loosen up. I think its going to be recorded as the whole night is for the big wigs of Baltic comedy to try out new material before touring. So maybe ill post it here if I dont absolutely bottle it.

I'd love to see it. I'm a huge fan of stand up but never had any aspirations personally. Best of luck

ssaye2

Grimebox

This thread has had a resurgence today

.ak

Grimebox wrote: »

This thread has had a resurgence today

Gold, pure gold.

awec

.ak wrote: »

Gold, pure gold.

"the last time he had heard that noise two men were dead and one woman had been had sex with"

"stepped over the dead bodies taking care not to have sex with any women in the room."

"Normally i would either have sex with you or kill you" siad trent "but i'm out of bullets". She smiled and started walking towards him. CRACK! Trent broke her neck with a sickening karate chop that probably would of even killed a man or any animal you can think of, a lion easily. not an elephant lets not be silly but it was a hard chop."

.ak

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhaha!!

irishbucsfan

"Your off the case! Shouted the police chief. And youve 24hours to solve the case! shouted the policechief. Now get out.. or your off the case!!"

Grimebox

I don't even

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zceDn9OqIE

CatFromHue

Paddy Jackson eat your heart out!!!!

Buer

Good Lord. I was told the interview was very entertaining though. The Kearney brothers get a fair bit of grief about the boring Twitter account.

mfceiling

irishbucsfan wrote: »

"Your off the case! Shouted the police chief. And youve 24hours to solve the case! shouted the policechief. Now get out.. or your off the case!!"

That's the greatest line i've ever read in my entire life.

Fireball07

The best line of all time is definitely:

"Your a woman.Normally i would either have sex with you or kill you" siad trent "but i'm out of bullets". She smiled and started walking towards him. CRACK! Trent broke her neck with a sickening karate chop that probably would of even killed a man or any animal you can think of, a lion easily. not an elephant lets not be silly but it was a hard chop.

Trent is genius.

Swiwi.

chupacabra wrote: »

Tartu is a big University city. So im told its mostly Estonian students with a sprinkling of foreigners. Its hosted by an Australian and an American though and all the comedians perform in English.

Free booze for all performers too so I plan on getting a wee bit trollied before hand.

You could try the BOD v Estonian fiancée line. Might get a lot of blank looks though. Will be intrigued to hear how it goes.

Swiwi.

I'm a half-arsed Arsenal fan, and don't really like Chelsea

awec

Arsenal have taken some real thumpings this year from the big teams.

awec

Went to see that new 300 flick today.

My goodness.. Eva Green....

molloyjh

awec wrote: »

Went to see that new 300 flick today.

My goodness.. Eva Green....

Is it love?

awec

molloyjh wrote: »

Is it love?

My girlfriend reads boards so I have to say no. But you wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting, if you know what I mean...

Micky Dolenz

awec wrote: »

My girlfriend reads boards so I have to say no. But you wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting, if you know what I mean...

You have a fart fetish?

duckysauce

awec wrote: »

Went to see that new 300 flick today.

My goodness.. Eva Green....

worth going to just to see that boat scene

awec

duckysauce wrote: »

worth going to just to see that boat scene

You know it!

Taco Corp

awec wrote: »

Went to see that new 300 flick today.

My goodness.. Eva Green....

check out a movie call The Dreamers. I have no idea what it's about but it has some good "plot"

thomond2006

Iniesta. Whack!

awec

Briliant goal, cracking finish too. Keeper getting nowhere near that, that's where you want to be putting it.

thomond2006

Benzema fluffed it!