Portmarnock - thumbs up or down

LadyValerie

Hi there

I'm currently living in the city centre with my husband. We're expecting our first baby this autumn. He's from Malahide originally and all of his family and friends live in north county Dublin. He's got a large apartment near the dart station in portmarnock and its currently rented out. He'd love us to move there. I'm not convinced. I love living in the city (I grew up in rural Ireland and loath sleepy villages) I love the bustle of the city. I'm self employed and work from home but need to be in the city around twice a week. All my friends live in town. I'm afraid if I move there I'll turn into a boring suburban mom overnight. I know, that does sound terrible. He reckons most people would give their right arm to bring up their child in someplace like portmarnock. He plays golf locally and loves the beach and of course has his friends and family locally. What do you reckon? Am I being selfish by not moving there? Is Portmarnock all that? Should I just reconcile myself to the fact that my city living galavanting days are over anyway because of the baby?...

Frank Lee Midere

LadyValerie wrote: »

Hi there

I'm currently living in the city centre with my husband. We're expecting our first baby this autumn. He's from Malahide originally and all of his family and friends live in north county Dublin. He's got a large apartment near the dart station in portmarnock and its currently rented out. He'd love us to move there. I'm not convinced. I love living in the city (I grew up in rural Ireland and loath sleepy villages) I love the bustle of the city. I'm self employed and work from home but need to be in the city around twice a week. All my friends live in town. I'm afraid if I move there I'll turn into a boring suburban mom overnight. I know, that does sound terrible. He reckons most people would give their right arm to bring up their child in someplace like portmarnock. He plays golf locally and loves the beach and of course has his friends and family locally. What do you reckon? Am I being selfish by not moving there? Is Portmarnock all that? Should I just reconcile myself to the fact that my city living galavanting days are over anyway because of the baby?...

It's what ? 30 minutes from the city centre ?

LadyValerie

Yes. Around that if you don't factor in waiting in the dart etc. we can currently stroll to st. Stephens green...

Inquitus

Most people would give their right arm to raise their kids in Portmarnock!

LadyValerie

That's what he says! I'm afraid also that its his world and I won't have any of my friends there

Fiolina

Hi Op. I'm kind of torn on what to advise you. I grew up in Portmarnock and I have to say I never appreciated the place until I was much older and had my own kids. My feeling would be that you could possibly be quite lonely there if you love city living. I personally don't think there is a whole lot going on unless you are in to walking on the beach.
I still find it to be very cliquey (if that's a word). A lot of people I went to school with moved away and when they had kids they came back to the area.
On the other hand, where the apartment is is very handy for the DART and it is a safe enough area. There are two good primary schools there and you are about 5 mins drive away from Malahide which has a great selection of pubs, restaurants etc.
Sorry if I've confused you even more and best of luck with the baby

LadyValerie

Thanks for that! That's exactly what I'm worried about! - not much going on! My sister says my priorities will change once babs comes along and I'll crave the quietness of Portmarnock. I'd already Sussed out that the place (along with Malahide) is quite cliquish. Like I said, I'm afraid it'll be all about my husband and the baby and what suits them rather than what suits me. I know that sounds incredibly selfish but I've seen many a marriage break down because of sarcarfices made by the wife that resulted in her losing her identity.

Dizzyblonde

My advice would be to do nothing until well after you've had the baby. Portmarnock is lovely, but only if you want to live in that sort of setting - and you don't. That may all change by the time the baby is toddling around, but then again it may not.
I don't think you're being selfish at all.

Inquitus

Its 12.5km from Portmarnock to town, and it's served by buses, dart and it's a cheap enough taxi ride, it's not like you are moving to Bettystown or Louth or somewhere way out in the greater Leinster commuter belt!

Fiolina

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

My advice would be to do nothing until well after you've had the baby. Portmarnock is lovely, but only if you want to live in that sort of setting - and you don't. That may all change by the time the baby is toddling around, but then again it may not.
I don't think you're being selfish at all.

Sound advice.

Frank Lee Midere

Actually I just looked an my rail app and the dart takes 20 minutes to Connolly and the other trains are 13 minutes. In most of Dublin that's basically equivalent to living within walking distance. And you said the flat was close to the rail.

That said have the baby first. Many first time mothers can fund it isolating and you might be better where you know people to start with. Although they aren't far away getting in the train is more if a chore with a new born.

Justareply

LadyValerie wrote: »

Thanks for that! That's exactly what I'm worried about! - not much going on! My sister says my priorities will change once babs comes along and I'll crave the quietness of Portmarnock. I'd already Sussed out that the place (along with Malahide) is quite cliquish. Like I said, I'm afraid it'll be all about my husband and the baby and what suits them rather than what suits me. I know that sounds incredibly selfish but I've seen many a marriage break down because of sarcarfices made by the wife that resulted in her losing her identity.

Hi,

I don't really have any answers or advice. I just wanted to share my reactions to having read this. I do not feel you are being selfish whatsoever. In order to be the best parent you can be, its important to take care of your needs first. I think you are absolutely right in thinking about the long term effects this move may have on you, and your identity. This will translate to your mothering which will also affect your child, not just your marriage. If your husband truly wants what is right for the family, and I presume he does, then he will understand that your needs are equally as important as his, and will give you the space and time to think this through carefully. If you are unsure, then I would not do anything at all.

In my view, I think there is much more attached to the question about where to live. I feel that it may also be about trusting your own inner voice, and following your gut instincts, even if they collide with your husband's. However, in a marriage, there are always compromises to make on both sides.

Best wishes for your baby!

LadyValerie

Thanks to everyone for your input. My husband is leaving it totally up to me to decide and we're in no rush either. I've been thinking about it and it really is a lovely place and all my friends, one by one, are drifting further away from town. We'd a great time when we were younger and were always out on the town! Maybe it's these carefree days I'm hankering for and I feel that by staying in town that they may come back?!.. Who knows! My husband is quite excited that I'm even considering the move given my years of point blank refusal to even discuss it! Maybe I've entered the nesting period and my view on the world has altered accordingly! Ah motherhood...it's a funny old thing. Thanks again everyone. If anyone else has a view please let me know x

Muahahaha

I can totally see where you are coming from but my own friends who all lived city centre slowly gravitated to the suburbs when they had kids. It wasn't that they were being boring or anything, I suppose they just wanted what they felt was the best environment for bringing up their children and for them (and most parents to be fair) the suburbs offered more of what they wanted than the city centre.

I don't think you are being selfish at all. But I do think that once your baby arrives that your world will be thrown upside down and that your priorities in life will change so,we hat from what they are now. Friends will still come and visit and you'll be able to visit them. The only thing that will change is that the conversations will be more about sleepless nights than nightclubs but sure that's all part of growing up.

CPSW

OP - no way are you being selfish. I can totally see where you are coming from.

I am originally from the city centre and have lived there all my life up until last year, when I moved in with my other half, we are renting out the Malahide Road direction, not a million miles away from Portmarnock.

I, like yourself loved living in the city centre, could walk to and from town into work, everything was on my doorstep. There was no way I could see myself living out that far (as I thought)!

Fast forward a year later and I realised that Dublin is a small place, and living out that direction is not too bad after all! Everything is accessible, we have everything we need near our doorstep. City Centre is only a bus/dart ride away in the morning for work, and if you have a car you can go anywhere. We are looking to buy ourselves within the next year and will be looking in that area.

I suppose peoples priorities change as they get older, myself and my mates used to be out on the town every weekend, but like your friends everyone is slowly drifting further away from the city centre (although we can still party like its 1999 when we want to!)

All the best with your decision and with your baby!

LadyValerie

Hi there

I just thought I'd give you an update. I'm sitting here with my almost 4 week old daughter in my arms. We're moving to Portmarnock in 4 weeks time! I spent the whole summer thinking about it and I was almost convinced that it was the right move. By the time I left hospital with babs I was totally convinced it was right for us. I'm looking forward to it and am quite excited about it all. I am still a bit sad to be a "proper adult" moving to the suburbs and not living it up clubbing a few nights a week but as another poster said, that's part of growing up! If anyone has any advice re Portmarnock living, I'd love to hear it!

Fiolina

Hi, congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I hope you will be really happy in Portmarnock. I know it's waaay down the line but when your daughter is going to school, St Helen's National school is lovely. There is a waiting list so just be aware. If you feel like clubbing you can head to Tamangos down the road ( I think they still have an "oul wans" night on Tuesday ). Best of luck to you x

Dizzyblonde

LadyValerie wrote: »

Hi there

I just thought I'd give you an update. I'm sitting here with my almost 4 week old daughter in my arms. We're moving to Portmarnock in 4 weeks time! I spent the whole summer thinking about it and I was almost convinced that it was the right move. By the time I left hospital with babs I was totally convinced it was right for us. I'm looking forward to it and am quite excited about it all. I am still a bit sad to be a "proper adult" moving to the suburbs and not living it up clubbing a few nights a week but as another poster said, that's part of growing up! If anyone has any advice re Portmarnock living, I'd love to hear it!

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I can't advise about living in Portmarnock because I'm in Swords, but I go over to the beach a lot all year round and have always loved Portmarnock.
You won't miss the clubbing much at all and when you do, I bet you'll have no shortage of babysitters

Fiolina wrote: »

If you feel like clubbing you can head to Tamangos down the road ( I think they still have an "oul wans" night on Tuesday ). Best of luck to you x

They used to call it Grab A Granny Night