Country funeral.

tom_tarbucket

Male here. 35. Going to a country funeral.

It's a friends father, never met the rest of his family etc so I'm kinda on periphery of things and will just be in and out job.

As weather is promised decent, I'll be wearing a suit pants and shirt only.......no tie, no suit jacket.

My question relates specifically to the shirt, is it ok to wear a white shirt on its own to a funeral ? ( I don't have any dark coloured shirts )

Thoie

Wear a tie. If everyone else takes theirs off, then you can take yours off too, but wait until other people have. If you're driving, put the suit jacket in the car just in case.

Treloh

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Male here. 35. Going to a country funeral.

It's a friends father, never met the rest of his family etc so I'm kinda on periphery of things and will just be in and out job.

As weather is promised decent, I'll be wearing a suit pants and shirt only.......no tie, no suit jacket.

My question relates specifically to the shirt, is it ok to wear a white shirt on its own to a funeral ?

No need to be so formal, only family wear shirt and tie. Jeans and a shirt or dark tee shirt is fine. Especially if it's only the wake and not the full thing

tom_tarbucket

Thanks. 2 very differing opinions there ; )

Thoie

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Thanks. 2 very differing opinions there ; )

Jeans, with a tie wrapped around your head like a bandana?

We may need another opinion for a tie-breaker (pun not intended).

Stheno

Treloh wrote: »

No need to be so formal, only family wear shirt and tie. Jeans and a shirt or dark tee shirt is fine. Especially if it's only the wake and not the full thing

personally i consider any funeral a very formal occasion and would never consider showing up in jeans and a tshirt, to me it would be disrespectful

Blackjack

Country Funeral, really you have to go something like this.
Otherwise you'll look totally out of place.

vitani

Suit pants and white shirt sounds fine. Unless you're a family member or close friend, then there's no real need to dress more formally.

tom_tarbucket

vitani wrote: »

Suit pants and white shirt sounds fine. Unless you're a family member or close friend, then there's no real need to dress more formally.

Thanks
I suppose my thing is about the white shirt and it being white. Like should it ideally be a black shirt

Mrs W

I wouldn't go as formal as a suit either. Suit trousers are ok if you don't want to go less formal but I'd wear a coloured shirt. IMO black trousers/white shirt is for family/chief mourners only.
If you only have the white shirt maybe put a jumper over it? Not ideal in this weather I know but I'm a bogger and have gone to lots of country funerals. People come in work clothes, builders, farmers etc and no one passes any remarks. It's the fact you went that counts, not what you wore

kerrygold47

We were always taught only direct family wear black then close family navy and close friends grey or navy and for anyone else just something smart so white shirt will be fine.
I don't know if they still do them but black arm bands were normally worn over the shirts dresses or blouse of none family members who aren't wearing black.

irish_goat

Dress up as your local TD.

Toto Wolfcastle

Definitely don't wear a black shirt. I don't think it's necessary to wear black to a funeral. I'd agree with Mrs W too. A shirt in a colour other than white would be better. My husband wore grey trousers (not suit trousers) and a light blue and white shirt to the last funeral we went to because he was going to work afterwards. He was probably the most formally dress person there. A lot of people were wearing jeans. His friend turned up in jeans and a zip up hoodie. I'm not saying that's right, but people certainly don't dress for funerals like they used to. As long as you look smart you'll be fine, and your friend will just be glad that you turned up.

dudara

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Thanks
I suppose my thing is about the white shirt and it being white. Like should it ideally be a black shirt

Not at all. White is the standard shirt colour for men and is perfectly acceptable at a funeral.

This whole dressing in dark clothes thing is just daft anyway IMO. Dress formally and appropriately, but there's no need to stress about black.

Treloh

Stheno wrote: »

personally i consider any funeral a very formal occasion and would never consider showing up in jeans and a tshirt, to me it would be disrespectful

When have you been at a funeral where every single person is in a suit?!!
Most people I've seen at any funeral wear shirt or tee shirts and jeans or if it's family/close neighbours a little more formal

seachto7

If you're just going in and out of the funeral home, a jeans and shirt would do. A pants and shirt would be fine. Jeans and a shirt or polo shirt would be fine. Jeans and a tshirt in this weather would be fine.

Why would a country funeral be any different to a city funeral?

tom_tarbucket

seachto7 wrote: »

If you're just going in and out of the funeral home, a jeans and shirt would do. A pants and shirt would be fine. Jeans and a shirt or polo shirt would be fine. Jeans and a tshirt in this weather would be fine.

Why would a country funeral be any different to a city funeral?

As an example, I'm sure Ballymun V Cahersiveen would have some style differences.

Blackjack

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

As an example, I'm sure Ballymun V Cahersiveen would have some style differences.

Dont wear a Dublin Jersey. Otherwise I'd say its fairly similar.

lulu1

The dark trousers would be fine but if I were you I would try and find a different coloured shirt you dont have to go to much expense.

lulu1

lulu1 wrote: »

The dark trousers would be fine but if I were you I would try and find a different coloured shirt you dont have to go to much expense.

Talking of funerals I have warned all my friends and family if any of them comes to my funeral dressed in black I will come back and haunt them. I hate black.

Spanish Eyes

Smart casual. Do not appear in jeans please. But that's just me.

Respect for the occasion is good.

So then, smart trousers and shirt is good. Colour not important, but I think a darkish shirt, maybe with subtle stripes would work.

An effort is required for funerals I think. And that goes for male and female.

Respect.

ongarboy

If you are only dropping in to sympathise with the family and are not part of the chief mourners or family (OP admitted he didn''t even know the deceased), then it really doesn't matter what you wear as long as it's not scruffy or garish. Maybe, if you know or anticipate that you'll be invited to a lunch reception after, then trousers and a shirt would be appropriate. (obviously this is moot for OP now as the funeral was last week).

I passed a funeral cortege walking through the main street of Enniscorthy last weekend and everyone walking behind the coffin (who obviously would have some connection with the deceased if they took part in the cortege) were in short sleeves, jeans and other casuals (apart from the family/chief mourners). No one looked out of place at all in what they were wearing.

FunLover18

Treloh wrote: »

No need to be so formal, only family wear shirt and tie. Jeans and a shirt or dark tee shirt is fine. Especially if it's only the wake and not the full thing

+1

I was once at the funeral of my friend's grandmother. Jeans and shirt, no tie. Can never understand why people think jeans are disrespectful, you can get nice jeans you know. Anyway you'll be fine with the suits pants.

At the same funeral another friend wore the black suit and black tie, the whole shebang. Looked like an eejit who was trying too hard in my opinion.