Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Hugo Stiglitz

fr336 wrote: »

I know the feeling, but then again I don't think I've ever truly experienced life yet. 26 Monday, about time I broke the shell once and for all.

Same sir.

fr336

I'm caught between such different places - so much excitement and hope on one side, and pure hellish situations on the other (though even this could be far worse to be perfectly honest). If and when I do overcome stuff that has probably been there for 26 years now and I've only really had to deal with the last few years, I hope to come back here someday and write a book worthy post of how things turned out. If I could help others to pull themselves out of the same kind of holes, or even worse, that would bring me so much joy.

Roquentin

fr336 wrote: »

I'm caught between such different places - so much excitement and hope on one side, and pure hellish situations on the other (though even this could be far worse to be perfectly honest). If and when I do overcome stuff that has probably been there for 26 years now and I've only really had to deal with the last few years, I hope to come back here someday and write a book worthy post of how things turned out. If I could help others to pull themselves out of the same kind of holes, or even worse, that would bring me so much joy.

write a book and self publish on kindle or something

fr336

Roquentin wrote: »

write a book and self publish on kindle or something

Never know

My tagline right now is "The future's bright, the future's Ireland" (I live in England and want to be where the grass really is greener )

CZ 453

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The letter of the day in the indo about how loneliness is a big problem for some this year.. The letter has a stock photo of an elderly lady beside it.. Surely that stereotype needs to go.. I've been lonely a while now and it's worse this year than ever.. I'm in my thirties and have been very lonely on and off for as long as I can remember..

Rant over, sorry about that..

10/10

Hugo Stiglitz

fr336 wrote: »

Never know

My tagline right now is "The future's bright, the future's Ireland" (I live in England and want to be where the grass really is greener )

We could all shack up together!

fr336

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

We could all shack up together!

Now that would be a book my lad

CZ 453

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

We could all shack up together!

One flew over the cuckoos nest :pac:

Hugo Stiglitz

CZ 453 wrote: »

One flew over the cuckoos nest :pac:

You have a few spare rooms, don't ya CZ?! :D

CZ 453

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

You have a few spare rooms, don't ya CZ?! :D

I'm glad some of us can laugh about this in contrast to our darkest times. Fair play to ye.

I wouldn't have the room for the folks who don't post(yet). There might be a few derelict hospitals around or a zoo.

greenfrogs

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The letter of the day in the indo about how loneliness is a big problem for some this year.. The letter has a stock photo of an elderly lady beside it.. Surely that stereotype needs to go.. I've been lonely a while now and it's worse this year than ever.. I'm in my thirties and have been very lonely on and off for as long as I can remember..

Rant over, sorry about that..

Same story here. I have no plans for this weekend. This is the only weekend that I could of had plans. I know I won't be going out around Christmas and new year. It makes me quite sad actually. I like having things to look forward to.

Gremlinertia

I think there will be plenty alone this year.. People who can't afford to go or come home, people who don't have one. Loads of reasons. I mean as much help as boards is to me I'm not getting the odd hug off it.. No insult to anyone here of course..

I've said it here before or could even been on previous thread to this one that half my problem is the number of people who've left the country and the number of tragic deaths of friends. It's a crazy amount of people and I find it hard to even think of trusting someone new.

fr336

I feel like I'm mentally imploding today Lost out on more sleep than ever the past few weeks and it's showing. Memory all over the place, (always worries me no matter what) can't get a grip on anything...I go to do something in one week and can't remember what I was wanting to do. Ok maybe not that extreme..I do be doing other things at the same time but it feels so unnormal and worrying I hope I can get out of this. 2 years of constant sleep deprivation never recovering the sleep debt must be quite bad.

Roquentin

fr336 wrote: »

I feel like I'm mentally imploding today Lost out on more sleep than ever the past few weeks and it's showing. Memory all over the place, (always worries me no matter what) can't get a grip on anything...I go to do something in one week and can't remember what I was wanting to do. Ok maybe not that extreme..I do be doing other things at the same time but it feels so unnormal and worrying I hope I can get out of this. 2 years of constant sleep deprivation never recovering the sleep debt must be quite bad.

sleep deprivation is most awful. i lost my mind twice over it. the paranoia i get over it.

fr336

Roquentin wrote: »

sleep deprivation is most awful. i lost my mind twice over it. the paranoia i get over it.

May I ask about your experience, especially in relation to memory loss / loss of recall, and how you feel now?

Roquentin

fr336 wrote: »

May I ask about your experience, especially in relation to memory loss / loss of recall, and how you feel now?

ive stabilized now with the meds.......

both experiences were awful. i couldnt think concisely or clearly. you start believing things that are not true.

one needs a good nights sleep to think rationally.

the soviets and the british both used sleep deprivation to make people give false testimonies about events. they found it the best method of achieving their ends. When someone gets deprived of sleep (a week or so) they can no longer think clearly and start to believe all sorts of things.

its awful really.

fr336

CZ 453 wrote: »

I also had terrible memory problems. It was solely anxiety and stress though. I've got no problem sleeping,generally. Unless there is something worrying me. Luckily, from what the Psychiatrist told me, It is the one part of your brain that can regenerate.

Thanks for this How bad did it get for you? Were you surprised how easily it came back once the stress had lifted slightly or majorly?

How you doing tonight?

fr336

Roquentin wrote: »

ive stabilized now with the meds.......

both experiences were awful. i couldnt think concisely or clearly. you start believing things that are not true.

one needs a good nights sleep to think rationally.

the soviets and the british both used sleep deprivation to make people give false testimonies about events. they found it the best method of achieving their ends. When someone gets deprived of sleep (a week or so) they can no longer think clearly and start to believe all sorts of things.

its awful really.

Totally - torture procedure. I've never gone beyond around 30 hours of being awake in a row, an all nighter or whatever. My issues are the accumulation of sleep debt - I can have long enough 'sleeps', but still not enough to clear this debt over such a long timeframe. The resulting anxiety also prevents restful sleep, so quite the vicious circle really.

Roquentin

fr336 wrote: »

Totally - torture procedure. I've never gone beyond around 30 hours of being awake in a row, an all nighter or whatever. My issues are the accumulation of sleep debt - I can have long enough 'sleeps', but still not enough to clear this debt over such a long timeframe. The resulting anxiety also prevents restful sleep, so quite the vicious circle really.

i got sleeping tablets prescribed.......you could always use them

fr336

Roquentin wrote: »

i got sleeping tablets prescribed.......you could always use them

I have tried them before and while they're looking more and more tempting (I'm so stubborn...I'd probably be far better off with anything than this!), when I took them before they had me off for a very weird yet seemingly restful sleep for the nights I took them (just two), getting to sleep the two nights after that felt impossible...I felt like a zombie and despite sleeping felt I never had. I did not like that.

Roquentin

fr336 wrote: »

I have tried them before and while they're looking more and more tempting (I'm so stubborn...I'd probably be far better off with anything than this!), when I took them before they had me off for a very weird yet seemingly restful sleep for the nights I took them (just two), getting to sleep the two nights after that felt impossible...I felt like a zombie and despite sleeping felt I never had. I did not like that.

thats the thing. once you become used to them you cant do without.

some antidepressants help people to sleep.

fr336

CZ 453 wrote: »

My ability to retain the information I needed in order to sit exams was seriously diminished. Particularly, in proximity to stressful events. I couldn't sit an exam is how bad it got really. That was the area that suffered the most from anxiety.

I'm on a year out now. So the stress of exams are not there. I was on the meds there for a while and they helped with the memory as well. I'm off them now and I feel sharp(memory wise). The Psychiatrist told me the meds would act as a catalyst to memory recovery. So a major improvement from June(about 3 months of meds).

Sorry to hear that...very glad you're in a better place now. I've been to uni twice and now on my third time - the first time I thought was just me not putting enough effort into the course, second was when this thing really came to the fore and despite making progress throughout the year I didn't quite make the grades, and now it's flared up worse so again. I know the things that work to get me back on track personally, it just takes a lot of mental strength that is hard to come by a lot of the time. I know a week or two of a clear run I could be as good as grand, as hard as that is to believe.

fr336

CZ 453 wrote: »

You may find that it is the anxiety that is making you think too much on the sleep debt.

On a positive note- Navy Seals(and most other special forces) train under the sleep conditions you describe. Some of them are the sharpest individuals on the planet.

Thanks for the reassurance.

The only letup through this has been when I've completely cut out junk food (and I have way too much of it in a day..honestly) and done even some minor exercise along with that. After just a day I have slightly more energy, anxiety drops off a little, after a few days and the accompanying sleeps (the best sleeps in yonks), I felt a new person was about to be born! To my shame I slipped back down the hole due to stresses at the time and took the easy comfort food way out.

CZ 453

fr336 wrote: »

Thanks for the reassurance.

The only letup through this has been when I've completely cut out junk food (and I have way too much of it in a day..honestly) and done even some minor exercise along with that. After just a day I have slightly more energy, anxiety drops off a little, after a few days and the accompanying sleeps (the best sleeps in yonks), I felt a new person was about to be born! To my shame I slipped back down the hole due to stresses at the time and took the easy comfort food way out.

Would a personal trainer be of benefit to you? Someone to beast you and keep you on the right track particularly when things are bad.

fr336

CZ 453 wrote: »

Would a personal trainer be of benefit to you? Someone to beast you and keep you on the right track particularly when things are bad.

Yeah maybe, good advice thanks. I wonder if I can start with one this week :P

greenfrogs

fr336 wrote: »

Thanks for the reassurance.

The only letup through this has been when I've completely cut out junk food (and I have way too much of it in a day..honestly) and done even some minor exercise along with that. After just a day I have slightly more energy, anxiety drops off a little, after a few days and the accompanying sleeps (the best sleeps in yonks), I felt a new person was about to be born! To my shame I slipped back down the hole due to stresses at the time and took the easy comfort food way out.

Don't be hard on yourself. I comfort eat as well. The last few days I felt like ****e and wanted to eat all around me. But I couldn't because I was feeling sick. However I am no longer feeling sick so tonight I am going to eat eat eat. Hopefully I'll feel better.

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

Don't be hard on yourself. I comfort eat as well. The last few days I felt like ****e and wanted to eat all around me. But I couldn't because I was feeling sick. However I am no longer feeling sick so tonight I am going to eat eat eat. Hopefully I'll feel better.

Hope you're ok

Hugo Stiglitz

fr336 wrote: »

Thanks for the reassurance.

The only letup through this has been when I've completely cut out junk food (and I have way too much of it in a day..honestly) and done even some minor exercise along with that. After just a day I have slightly more energy, anxiety drops off a little, after a few days and the accompanying sleeps (the best sleeps in yonks), I felt a new person was about to be born! To my shame I slipped back down the hole due to stresses at the time and took the easy comfort food way out.

That's where I currently am alas!

greenfrogs wrote: »

Don't be hard on yourself. I comfort eat as well. The last few days I felt like ****e and wanted to eat all around me. But I couldn't because I was feeling sick. However I am no longer feeling sick so tonight I am going to eat eat eat. Hopefully I'll feel better.

Mind yourself GF.

greenfrogs

fr336 wrote: »

Hope you're ok

Thanks. Just having a pity party.

Does anybody ever feel like this- something makes you feel down and then you get more anxious about it and lose any sense of perspective of the situation and end up making the situation worse. For me the same situation keeps happening and I end up feeling and acting the same every time. It is so frustrating.

fr336

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

That's where I currently am alas!

I order you to make a clean break with this in the morning! :mad:

I should listen to my own advice here (and hopefully will after my birthday on Monday) but things can almost always be worse...fight this stupidity called anxiety right in the face and stop it damaging yourself / ourselves in other ways long term!