Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Wilberto

greenfrogs wrote: »

You poor thing Wilberto. Would you not visit your doctor and request to get a sick note for the next week. It sounds like you really need it.

The only problem with that is I'm living at home and the family have absolutely no idea what I'm going through, partly because we wouldn't be the most tight knit family ever, but mostly because I just isolate myself in the bedroom anyway.

Although, I'll have to speak out eventually if I'm planning on leaving work in March when my first year there is up (it's a 3 year contract with an opt out after one year).

I might try and head to the doctor tomorrow morning. He's only there until one though so I don't know if I'll get to see him.

Mycroft H

Do, I did it earlier in the week, felt a good bit better afterwords if only to know I'd spoken to someone.

Call Me Jimmy

Wilberto sounds like a rough old time. Isolation doesn't help, I did the same when going through work problems, just came home and went to the room. Had some seriously dark times then. Don't worry about if people 'find out', you're struggling. Even though you's aren't close I'm sure they would only want to help if they knew how bad you were feeling.

Could the idea of opting out of the contract and then taking time off to get yourself back together get you through til then? Something on the horizon?

Sorry ye feel so bad man I've been there

Gremlinertia

Wilberto, i get how you feel.. Not exactly of course because it's an individual thing, however i hope you manage to get through this.. This thread is a massive help to me, with any justice it will be to you too. Keep chatting, feel free to pm me if ever you need.. There's more support here than you know..

Wilberto

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Could the idea of opting out of the contract and then taking time off to get yourself back together get you through til then? Something on the horizon?

That's what I was thinking of too. Not only could I use the time to try and get better but I could even attempt a few of the professional accounting exams too, so the year wouldn't be a complete waste. Not that I'd ever be in the right mindset for those but anyway.


I just fear that, if I do that, then some of my family members will just turn around and say "He just doesn't want to work." etc.

First things first anyway, try to get through tomorrow.

Call Me Jimmy

Wilberto wrote: »

That's what I was thinking of too. Not only could I use the time to try and get better but I could even attempt a few of the professional accounting exams too, so the year wouldn't be a complete waste. Not that I'd ever be in the right mindset for those but anyway.


I just fear that, if I do that, then some of my family members will just turn around and say "He just doesn't want to work." etc.

First things first anyway, try to get through tomorrow.

I had to go through that, 'he doesnt want to work'. My dad is the biggest anti-not-working person alive. He's never missed a single day of work, always complains about people who dont work etc.

So i had that to face. And I just had to say 'well they can think that if they want'. My heath came first I didn't give two ****s after that. And eventually his thinking came round. There are these invisible walls around us then we see they aren't real and ye think. I was thinking, well what if I didn't want to work and I was a lazy sponger sponging off the state, what then?

Wilberto

greenfrogs wrote: »

I don't know how you think telling your HR department and AM will help you overall. Maybe they will be understanding but ultimately they are a business and are focused on making money rather than you. I don't think it may get the result that you think it will. Maybe my past experience has tainted how I feel. My AM was a see you next Tuesday. I swear I'm not bitter. :pac:
This is my advice based on personal experience but I know each situation is different so don't pay any attention to it if it's not for you.
I really hope you get to see a doctor tomorrow. Hugs to you.

I guess I just want to explain what I'm going through and why I'm undoubtedly frustrating the hell out of my AM. Also, at least if I leave on my own accord I won't have do say to any future employers that I was dismissed from a previous place of employment. I also reckon that I'm lucky in the sense that I have a lovely account manager who should be understanding, but ultimately you're right I suppose. You just don't know how they'll react.

That said, there was a person working there before (before I joined) who took his own life (:(). That can only make them more understanding of these kind of issues.

greenfrogs

Wilberto wrote: »

I guess I just want to explain what I'm going through and why I'm undoubtedly frustrating the hell out of my AM. Also, at least if I leave on my own accord I won't have do say to any future employers that I was dismissed from a previous place of employment. I also reckon that I'm lucky in the sense that I have a lovely account manager who should be understanding, but ultimately you're right I suppose. You just don't know how they'll react.

That said, there was a person working there before (before I joined) who took his own life (:(). That can only make them more understanding of these kind of issues.

That's really sad. More than likely that will make them more understanding. Every workplace is different. The day I joined my place I knew it wasn't a nice place to be for me anyway. I hope they are understanding and you are right it will look better if you leave on your own accord.

CZ 453

Wilberto wrote: »

I guess I just want to explain what I'm going through and why I'm undoubtedly frustrating the hell out of my AM. Also, at least if I leave on my own accord I won't have do say to any future employers that I was dismissed from a previous place of employment. I also reckon that I'm lucky in the sense that I have a lovely account manager who should be understanding, but ultimately you're right I suppose. You just don't know how they'll react.

That said, there was a person working there before (before I joined) who took his own life (:(). That can only make them more understanding of these kind of issues.

Hope you're alright this morning.

yeezus

Wilberto wrote: »

The only problem with that is I'm living at home and the family have absolutely no idea what I'm going through, partly because we wouldn't be the most tight knit family ever, but mostly because I just isolate myself in the bedroom anyway.

I could have written the above.

I came out as gay to my family over Xmas. It had been hanging over my head for years. We are not close knit (or so I thought). My family's only concern with me coming out was that I didn't tell them earlier so they could have supported me, got me through it. I was shocked, but relieved.

Tell your family Wilberto. You'll be amazed what it'll do for you.

Gremlinertia

The catch twenty two that is being depressed, and becoming more so because of pain which limits my ability to get out and move which would help lighten the mood..

Roquentin

fr336

Cortisol is a bitch.

fr336

Never fails to perk me up slightly (not much can at extreme moments sadly)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyQwZK8GuBo

cookie24

Hey guys,

Haven't been here in a while. Hopefully the new year will bring out the best in us.
Starting work has changed my life. new clothes, daily routine, etc. Having said that I am still taking my meds and (on advice from doc) carry a couple of Valium everyday incase of a panic attack. Have also changed from anafril to something else cause of bad side effects. Problem is new meds cost e75 for 2 weeks supply.

Regarding work....I put it off for about 6 years and my parents eventually thought I was a drug addict (spending all my SW on nothing). I came clean with them when I was drunk one night. Told mam to check out my drawer where the meds were kept. They supported me and paid for my CBT, although that didn't work for me.

ETA: new tabs are called cymbalta. Anyone have any experience?

Wilberto

CZ 453 wrote: »

Hope you're alright this morning.

Not really, but at least I'm still here.

I randomly popped into another thread there and saw this video posted (it was a thread about Niall Breslin a.k.a. "Brezzie"). It was the first time I saw this speech and it actually almost brought me to tears by the end of it.

It may have been posted already and for that I apologise.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z82uTGTMwY8

CZ 453

@Wilberto- Did you get to the Doctor?

Wilberto

CZ 453 wrote: »

@Wilberto- Did you get to the Doctor?

Embarrassingly no. He was closed at one and I couldn't get up out of bed on time. :eek:

I don't know if he would have even saw me. He's usually busy on a Saturday, especially as he's only on for half the day, so if you've got no appointment then you could be out of luck.

CZ 453

Wilberto wrote: »

Embarrassingly no. He was closed at one and I couldn't get up out of bed on time. :eek:

I don't know if he would have even saw me. He's usually busy on a Saturday, especially as he's only on for half the day, so if you've got no appointment then you could be out of luck.

Well your on here and that's good. I was genuinely worried when I read your above posts. Did you speak with anyone today?

Wilberto

CZ 453 wrote: »

Well your on here and that's good. I was genuinely worried when I read your above posts. Did you speak with anyone today?

Nope. I know I should but I think I'm just the kind of person who finds it hard to open up.

I mean, I had a few sessions with the counselor for a few months before Christmas but, again, it's just so difficult to say anything. I'm not sure those sessions did too much (even though she was an extremely nice person) as I just leave and hide it away again and pretend everything's okay.

CZ 453

Wilberto wrote: »

Nope. I know I should but I think I'm just the kind of person who finds it hard to open up.

I mean, I had a few sessions with the counselor for a few months before Christmas but, again, it's just so difficult to say anything. I'm not sure those sessions did too much (even though she was an extremely nice person) as I just leave and hide it away again and pretend everything's okay.

Do you find you can say what you need to say on here? With the help of anonymity.

Wilberto

CZ 453 wrote: »

Do you find you can say what you need to say on here? With the help of anonymity.

Yeah I can, and it does offer me a little bit of relief almost in the knowledge that others are going (or have gone) through similar things but as knowing that as soon as I leave here then it's like none of that matters.

I guess I'm just afraid of opening up. I mean, who am I to upset the apple cart?! Not only that, but I don't exactly have the utmost of confidence in my family helping me through this either. They have a habit of trying to just sweep things under the rug and pretend everything's perfect.

Another reason I've never told any of them is that, coming from a family with 5 children (all adults now), there has always been something on with one of them, be it a wedding to plan, a baby, a pregnancy, etc. and felt that to say something then would just be seen as almost "attention seeking".

Hence, I just continue to bottle things up.

Gremlinertia

In my case my family know very little about my problems, my mother knows I'm on some medication and she knows that a few situations have occurred but that's about as far as it goes.. I never thought full disclosure to family was necessary I guess.

I have a couple of close friends, a doc and the psych team in the hospital if I need.. It's just the way it happens to work for me.. I couldn't bear the thought of family either sweeping it all under the carpet or perpetually walking on eggshells around me.. That's just my two cent..

greenfrogs

Same here. My family know I'm on medication and have depression. They know that I am signed off looking for work by my doctor. But they rarely ask me questions about it. The odd time I might mention it.
All families have weddings, babies etc happening. But our families care about us as well. I think most parents would prefer that they were given the opportunity to support and help their children when we need it .

Edited to add I think most Irish people have a tendency to worry about what the neighbours will think so they tend to brush things under the carpet. When I was fired it felt like my mother was more worried about the embarrassment of that than how I was doing.

CZ 453

Wilberto wrote: »

Yeah I can, and it does offer me a little bit of relief almost in the knowledge that others are going (or have gone) through similar things but as knowing that as soon as I leave here then it's like none of that matters.

I guess I'm just afraid of opening up. I mean, who am I to upset the apple cart?! Not only that, but I don't exactly have the utmost of confidence in my family helping me through this either. They have a habit of trying to just sweep things under the rug and pretend everything's perfect.

Another reason I've never told any of them is that, coming from a family with 5 children (all adults now), there has always been something on with one of them, be it a wedding to plan, a baby, a pregnancy, etc. and felt that to say something then would just be seen as almost "attention seeking".

Hence, I just continue to bottle things up.

You have to be selfish here(even though you really aren't). Tell them everything. How they react or how much they help can be measured properly then. If you're not getting what you need from them then simply go elsewhere for your counsel.

Call Me Jimmy

People close to me know but I don't talk about it because I dont know that it would help and I always prided myself (for better or worse) as being good company, as in if I'm going to be around people I try to be 'up'. I can be down alone.

Feeling very lonely and cold but hopefully better days ahead

Hugo Stiglitz

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

People close to me know but I don't talk about it because I dont know that it would help and I always prided myself (for better or worse) as being good company, as in if I'm going to be around people I try to be 'up'. I can be down alone.

Feeling very lonely and cold but hopefully better days ahead

I get ya JimJim.

Just in from a fun social occasion now and I can just feel my mood crashing.

Call Me Jimmy

Everyone has to go home sometime! Foods yer man

Hugo Stiglitz

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Everyone has to go home sometime! Foods yer man

True. I had some just now. That might soak up the sads.

Kayleigh..

I feel very very very bad tonight.