Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

scrimshanker

Ok day I guess. Still feeling a bit like I want to be dead.

greenfrogs

I am having a pretty **** day too. All I want to do is curl up and watch tv. That probably won't help my state of mind though.

I hate depression. I hate how it has cost me friendships. I have been so nasty and mean to people who have been nothing but nice to me.

Kimbot

Only got a few hours left in work but I cant wait to go home, go to bed, turn my phones off and avoid the world. I've been suffering with this dam disease for years now but only recently medicated and after 3 months of medication I am feeling far worse than far better. I reckon I should ask my GP for a change in tablets or something.

Hugo Stiglitz

Hang on in there friends

mg1982

I recently started taking a probiotic called alforex. Its meant to be the best one out there and it seems to have helped my stomach problems so far. But i know it all stems from my horrendous anxiety.

Euphoria Intensifies

carzony, scrimshanker and everyone else struggling today - despite all the pain and the **** and the horribleness you're going through right now, you all still managed to get up and go to work/college etc. That is a huge achievement. To even get out of bed, shower and get dressed is a massive achievement when you're feeling awful. Own your achievements, however tiny you might think they are. When you're going through a bad phase with your mental health, even the smallest thing is a big achievement. So well done to all of you. You're still here and still fighting.

heyday30

^^^^
That's so lovely. Exactly what I needed to hear even though I didn't even get dressed. Managed a little cleaning though

Roquentin

scrimshanker

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

carzony, scrimshanker and everyone else struggling today - despite all the pain and the **** and the horribleness you're going through right now, you all still managed to get up and go to work/college etc. That is a huge achievement. To even get out of bed, shower and get dressed is a massive achievement when you're feeling awful. Own your achievements, however tiny you might think they are. When you're going through a bad phase with your mental health, even the smallest thing is a big achievement. So well done to all of you. You're still here and still fighting.

Thanks EI, that's such a nice thing to say. I'm feeling horribly overwhelmed... I'm on this lexapro **** now for 8 days and half of that I've been really anxious and depressed and constantly thinking about dying and wishing I was dead. I don't know how much longer I can stick this out. Dunno if it's coincidence, side effect or just disappointment that it hasn't kicked in yet. I've to go back in 3 weeks anyway, it just seems like an eternity. I just want to feel normal. I want to be able to breathe properly again.

heyday30

scrimshanker wrote: »

Thanks EI, that's such a nice thing to say. I'm feeling horribly overwhelmed... I'm on this lexapro **** now for 8 days and half of that I've been really anxious and depressed and constantly thinking about dying and wishing I was dead. I don't know how much longer I can stick this out. Dunno if it's coincidence, side effect or just disappointment that it hasn't kicked in yet. I've to go back in 3 weeks anyway, it just seems like an eternity. I just want to feel normal. I want to be able to breathe properly again.

Hi friend. I can only let you know from my own experience. I was like that too when I first started the anti d's. You say you're on them 8 days, I bet in the next week or so you should feel better.
I know it is scary one side effect of some antidepressants is worsening suicidal thoughts when started first, your brain is adjusting to the new medicine introunced.

By all means if these bad thoughts are very intrusive and it's too much, don't hesitate to go to ur gp ASAP.
I hope you feel better soon.
X

Gongoozler

Does anybody ever panic a little over how much time you've spent worrying? I'm tired of worrying about things. And it's stupid. And I've just turned 31 and I can't help but feel really regretful of the fact I've spent all of my 20's worried about things and upset and anxious. I feel really stupid for wasting my time and my youth feeling bad. Anyone else getting a feeling like that?

Hugo Stiglitz

Gongoozler wrote: »

Does anybody ever panic a little over how much time you've spent worrying? I'm tired of worrying about things. And it's stupid. And I've just turned 31 and I can't help but feel really regretful of the fact I've spent all of my 20's worried about things and upset and anxious. I feel really stupid for wasting my time and my youth feeling bad. Anyone else getting a feeling like that?

*raises hand*

I hear ya GG. I've a feeling my 30s won't be much different either.

carzony

Me too lads,

Today was a perfect example of worrying over nothing. It was my first day back and I was nervous as f~~k for no reason. The second I got into the college I was approached by all my friends ect. and all my worry dissapeared. I was actually mad I spent the whole sunday worrying...


But I suppose it's the nature of the anxiety disorder really?

mg1982

I didnt go to work today, called in sick. I do miss a lot of days and im only in the job 3 months. I probably wont have it for much longer at this rate but the thing is im so ambivalent about most things i wouldnt really care.

Aeternum

First counselling session in the morning, hoping it will go okay. I'm afraid I won't go back if it doesn't go well and I know I need the help.

scrimshanker

Aeternum wrote: »

First counselling session in the morning, hoping it will go okay. I'm afraid I won't go back if it doesn't go well and I know I need the help.

Hope this works out for you

Kimbot

Guys, Im on lexipro the last few months and was on Xanax aswell up until 2 weeks ago. About a month or so ago I was feeling great and felt the tablets were working, was back with the doctor and he took me off the Xanax and left me on just the Lexipro. However for the last week I just feel trapped in a world of pain, nothing eases the pain and its getting worse by the day. Im not due back to my doctor for another 2 weeks but im wondering if I should go back to him just incase?

mg1982

Hi jonny24ie. Maybe your having withdrawals from the xanax, those meds can be highly addictive. Were you on the xanax for long?

Roquentin

jonny24ie wrote: »

Guys, Im on lexipro the last few months and was on Xanax aswell up until 2 weeks ago. About a month or so ago I was feeling great and felt the tablets were working, was back with the doctor and he took me off the Xanax and left me on just the Lexipro. However for the last week I just feel trapped in a world of pain, nothing eases the pain and its getting worse by the day. Im not due back to my doctor for another 2 weeks but im wondering if I should go back to him just incase?

xanax is only a temporary drug because you can become addicted like alcohol to it.

Calibos

Dose and frequency is important to the addictive potential though. TBH I think Doctors have gone to the other extreme and are too conservative prescribing it. Certainly the docs in my clinic anyway.

I get prescribed 10x 250mg Xanax and only take one when I have an anxiety episode and they last me about 4-6 weeks. ie. Lowest dose that I only need to take on average 10 days out of 40 days. At that dosage and frequency I am a million miles from addictive potential. You'd want to be taking 3 or 4 500mg+ everyday for 3 or 4 weeks to get addicted by all accounts. Sure, if you do get addicted, the withdrawl is supposed to be absolutely horrific but my usage pattern is a million miles from that as I said. Nearly a year on my prescriptions at this stage and the fecker still won't prescribe me more than 10 at a time. In other words €55 a month to the doc so I can get 10 poxy little 250mg xanax that cost about €7. FFS, I'd be better off buying them from the local scuzzy drug dealer :rolleyes:

[EDIT] I may be mixing up the mg levels with other benzo's. ie micro versus milli grams etc If jonny is taking about 25mg Xanax then I imagine we are talking about the same dosage as when I say 250mg because I certainly am not on a 10 times higher dose than him

Kimbot

mg1982 wrote: »

Hi jonny24ie. Maybe your having withdrawals from the xanax, those meds can be highly addictive. Were you on the xanax for long?

Back at the end of november he put me on 25mg of xanax twice a day for a week. I was off them up until the start of January and he put me on 50mg once a day for 10 days, I havent had Xanax in 3 weeks now. I suppose its the situation I am in that is bringing me down alot more so than the medication but im not sure.

mg1982

It probably isnt withdrawals so jonny24ie, there might be something else going on in your life thats causing this. Maybe a trip back to the doctor and a med change might be an option.

Calibos

little bit down myself atm brought on by another conversation with family where there was an interruption and then the other party did not ask me to continue or say 'sorry what were you saying again?' etc This is always happening and no matter what the subject matter. The logical side of me can't help but conclude that if random subject matters elicit the same response or lack thereof, then that must logically mean that they find nearly everything I say boring and not worth continuing to talk about once an interuption presents the opportunity to break the conversation. NB, I'm not aspergers or anything like that so these aren't conversations where I compulsively bore them with an obsession. The conversations can be literally about anything. These aren't conversations at inopportune times either. These aren't conversations about health issues or anything like that where I'm bringing them down which they are trying to avoid. I'm just trying to drive home the point that these are just normal healthy types of conversation about mundane subjects.

How lonely does that make one feel when even in ones own home with ones own family who in most other respects express their love for you but just can't seem to want to maintain a conversation with you and then wonder why I spend so much time alone in my own room. If you'll let the most mundane thing distract you from our conversation I can't help but feel I must be boring you to tears. Its easier to deal with or accept the loneliness then put yourself in the position to be regularily reminded that even family don't really care or want to hear what you think on any given topic.

To re-iterate. I'm not that weird stranger that tries to engage you (a stranger) in conversation on some weird subject or some weird guy ranting to you about something after he sits beside you on the train The type where you want to end the conversation as quickly as posible and extract yourself from their company as quick as possible. This is normal conversation on normal subjects after dinner in the family home with family members! I'm a normal guy FFS. Literally no one not even family seem to give a fcuk what I think about anything.

I'd love to live on my own and not have to be reminded of that fact nearly daily but financially its just not possible in the past, now or in the foreseeable future. Depressing thought. (Don't have depression though, just mild anxiety for the last few years)

Gongoozler

I get what you're saying, and totally understand it, as I think the exact same thing all the time. However.....is it possible your family just have poor attention spans?

Other way of looking at it is, not that you're boring but they're not very interested, for whatever reason. My family couldn't give two ****s about me or most of what I talk about, they're a pretty **** family, all only interested in themselves, so I can at least try to salvage some sort of 'it's not me, it's them' peace of mind.

heyday30

Does anybody find it impossible to loose weight on meds. I feel enormous well because I am enormous. ....
I seem to loose 2 or 3 pounds put back on 5!!! Saw a recent photo of myself and couldn't believe it was me.

mg1982

I can empathize heyday, The last 3 years since i been on meds i put on about 2 and a half stone. Mirtazapine and Solian were the worst culprits for me.

Call Me Jimmy

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of trouble I don't know what to do. Since before christmas has been my most isolated and painful time, where I haven't felt a moment of positivity, or even wanted to socialise at all. I usually see at least my closest friend every week or two, haven't seen him for a long time now. Don't have any humour in me, don't have any energy. I have my rituals and I do them and that's it.

I signed up for a course a while back when I was in a place where I at least still had 1% optimism. I was thinking that 'just doing it' would bring about changes in my mentality and life. But now it's time to confirm and I'm in bits. Thinking about what the reality is of leaving the house every day, sitting on the bus, sitting in the classroom, being tense, being embarrassed all the time, being in pain, having no social skills. I haven't done anything that required that level of involvement in 10 years. (College I attended <5% of lectures so maybe 2 hours a week, but a lot of weeks I didn't go to lectures, just went in to the labs and sat there until it was time to go home.

This course doesn't allow for missing anything. And you are supposed to have prepared already by swimming and or getting lessons. I haven't been able to bring myself to do that. So I still have a fear of the deep-end.

I've told my parents about it, they think I'm pretty much already going to do it and I'm worried about telling them I can't and crushing their hopes. I think they'll see it as me 'ducking and diving' it, will be possibly angry with me. They'll think 'well what are you going to do?'

Also if I don't do it, the dole office will want to know why. They were saying if they pay for it (expensive enough) and don't attend they'll cut my dole (which is completely fair), that's why I wanted to be 100% sure I would be able to do it.

On top of all this is how I've been living my life like I'm already dead and the day to day pain I'm in. As I said, I have my rituals but I really have lost it on the inside. I guess my attitude is I'm waiting for death, in the meantime curling up and being as safe as possible. Going to get my dole each week is in itself a stressful situation and I feel so tense until I get back home. If that's what it's like just going t the post office, I can't see how I can jump into this course.

I'm worried as hell about it, today will just be even more anxiety on top of what i've had lately. I don't know what to do

carzony

heyday30 wrote: »

Does anybody find it impossible to loose weight on meds. I feel enormous well because I am enormous. ....
I seem to loose 2 or 3 pounds put back on 5!!! Saw a recent photo of myself and couldn't believe it was me.

I'm worried about that but i'm only on the meds a few days so we'll see what happens. I'v started a little database to log my my weight and other things like moods, panic attacks ect..

It'll give me somthing to reference like...

scrimshanker

Yeah I'm also really worried about weight gain. Finally seeing some benefits. Got an actual full night's sleep last night for the first time in months. While my anxiety level feels like it's still very high, I was also able to go and register with the college counselling service so it must be having some degree of effect on it.

heyday30

carzony wrote: »

I'm worried about that but i'm only on the meds a few days so we'll see what happens. I'v started a little database to log my my weight and other things like moods, panic attacks ect..

It'll give me somthing to reference like...

I've always been a big girl carzony. I don't know if I'm only fooling myself it's the medication. It seems very hard to stick to healthy eating.
even when I try I see no results. Might take a leave out of your book and monitor what I'm actually eating by writing it down. I'm just weary of doing that that it will consume me. Happened before.
Food was all I have was thinking about and I went the other direction lost too much weight and restricted calories.
In a bad frame of mind today sorry for rambling