Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Hugo Stiglitz

I've been big for as long as I can remember. I'd love to slim down but I'm lazy and comfort eats constantly.

carzony

scrimshanker wrote: »

Yeah I'm also really worried about weight gain. Finally seeing some benefits. Got an actual full night's sleep last night for the first time in months. While my anxiety level feels like it's still very high, I was also able to go and register with the college counselling service so it must be having some degree of effect on it.

Same as me mate. I still feel no different however, I was able to go to college, do a big presentation and take part in a team work exercise so it must be having an effect alright.

wish it'd make me feel a bit different though

carzony

heyday30 wrote: »

I've always been a big girl carzony. I don't know if I'm only fooling myself it's the medication. It seems very hard to stick to healthy eating.
even when I try I see no results. Might take a leave out of your book and monitor what I'm actually eating by writing it down. I'm just weary of doing that that it will consume me. Happened before.
Food was all I have was thinking about and I went the other direction lost too much weight and restricted calories.
In a bad frame of mind today sorry for rambling

I'v had a little bit of trouble with my weight for the last year or so. I'm far from huge but still have a very unfit body and started putting on weight slowly which is something I want to avoid.

I'v awful man boobs and a bit of a stomach yet I'm only 12 stone and about 6 foot 2 so it's a bit upsetting and confusing. I really don't want the tablets to add to my weight

Eating healthy is very difficult and expensive especially whilst out and about. Eating crisps, chocolate, roles ect is very cheap compared to the 'healthy' foods.

alaskayoung

If it's an SSRI you're on, they're weight neutral so that shouldn't be the cause of any weight gain.
Anti-psychotics or mood-stabilizers are known to cause weight gain though.

heyday30

alaskayoung wrote: »

If it's an SSRI you're on, they're weight neutral so that shouldn't be the cause of any weight gain.
Anti-psychotics or mood-stabilizers are known to cause weight gain though.

I changed from lexapro an ssri to effexor 3 years ago. Since then Im on upward weight gain.

murria

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of trouble I don't know what to do. Since before christmas has been my most isolated and painful time, where I haven't felt a moment of positivity, or even wanted to socialise at all. I usually see at least my closest friend every week or two, haven't seen him for a long time now. Don't have any humour in me, don't have any energy. I have my rituals and I do them and that's it.

I signed up for a course a while back when I was in a place where I at least still had 1% optimism. I was thinking that 'just doing it' would bring about changes in my mentality and life. But now it's time to confirm and I'm in bits. Thinking about what the reality is of leaving the house every day, sitting on the bus, sitting in the classroom, being tense, being embarrassed all the time, being in pain, having no social skills. I haven't done anything that required that level of involvement in 10 years. (College I attended <5% of lectures so maybe 2 hours a week, but a lot of weeks I didn't go to lectures, just went in to the labs and sat there until it was time to go home.

This course doesn't allow for missing anything. And you are supposed to have prepared already by swimming and or getting lessons. I haven't been able to bring myself to do that. So I still have a fear of the deep-end.

I've told my parents about it, they think I'm pretty much already going to do it and I'm worried about telling them I can't and crushing their hopes. I think they'll see it as me 'ducking and diving' it, will be possibly angry with me. They'll think 'well what are you going to do?'

Also if I don't do it, the dole office will want to know why. They were saying if they pay for it (expensive enough) and don't attend they'll cut my dole (which is completely fair), that's why I wanted to be 100% sure I would be able to do it.

On top of all this is how I've been living my life like I'm already dead and the day to day pain I'm in. As I said, I have my rituals but I really have lost it on the inside. I guess my attitude is I'm waiting for death, in the meantime curling up and being as safe as possible. Going to get my dole each week is in itself a stressful situation and I feel so tense until I get back home. If that's what it's like just going t the post office, I can't see how I can jump into this course.

I'm worried as hell about it, today will just be even more anxiety on top of what i've had lately. I don't know what to do

Hi CMJ, its been a while. No wonder you're in bits you have identified every single thing that might go wrong here and kneaded them all into one huge mass of horribleness, of course you are going to feel anxious now. Was there a time when you thought you might be able to go ahead with the course, or did you know from the outset that you probably wouldn't do it? If there was, then take yourself back to that place in your head, I already know that you know all about mindfulness, much more than many of us do, so now is the time to take action and use everything you've learned to help you move forward.

Break it all down into manageable steps. Tell your friend or your parents that you are struggling with the idea of the course (not that you can't do it) and ask if they can help you maybe by accompanying you on the journey first time and see how that goes, or even just by talking you through a few things. People who run courses usually want the participants to succeed so they will try to facilitate you even if you aren't fully prepared.

It would be a shame for you to have your dole cut when you thought you were trying to do something constructive to help your situation. I know you are dealing with this horrible illness for a long time now and honestly, I think you need more help than anyone on here can give, actually you could probably write books on the subject. Your GP, or a different GP, might be able to offer you something that you haven't already tried. You have to keep on trying because you will eventually find a better way to live.

I have to disagree with your comment about having no social skills, anyone who knows you from these boards will know that you are a kind, caring person with a sharp sense of humour, you've lost your confidence in yourself but you can reclaim it.

Look, even if you aren't able to go ahead with the course, for a while you changed the way you were looking at life and I take my hat off to you for that.

Drumpot

@Callmejimmy

Further to what murria wrote, I would also ask that you consider a new training. Seriously Commit to 1-2 hours a day before you pencil in anything else. Prioritise over work, over chores, over the dole and over everything else that you can do once you have worked out a reasonable schedule for this course.

Name this new training or just consider it your new "programme for life". Accept that it wont always make you feel better, but try to also accept that this is a positive thing you are committing to for the long term greater good of your health. Try to be satisfied with just knowing that you are taking a positive step to your well being and don't place expectations on what results you hope to feel.

Whatever is going on during your day or in your life, try to accept that this 1-2 hour daily programme is primarily a workout for your mental health.

These are things I try and It can include things like but not limited to:

-Exercise
-counselling &/or Therapy - Group/individual
-taking a positive action out of your comfort zone like phoning a friend even if you don't want to, just to say hello
-acknowledging your feelings - committing 5-10 minutes to let your thoughts/anxieties time to breath in your head. Try to engage, not fight. This practise is something I would advise you learn with professional assistance.
-meditation class - even if you know how to meditate, go to a class to get you out
- go into a church - look around the walls, look at the paintings, take deep breaths, talk to god (whatever you think god is) - this is a more spiritual meditative technique that I sometimes find comforting
- play with a family pet - you may still be thinking and worrying while playing with the pet, but just play with the pet, you may not realise that its helping a little
-Help another person or do a random act of kindness with no motive other then to do a nice deed


There are , I am sure, others, but that's enough for now. My point is about finding positive habits to break the mental torture. I do believe that building a support network of understanding friends, family and professionals is also imperative. Don't worry about the people who wont or cant help and don't expect them to, but give people the chance to either help or not help. I find that I still do make the decision for family/friends (don't share upsetting information that they might be able to give me comfort towards).

Most of all, keep posting here. There are people who may never meet you or thank you or talk to you, who will read your posts and get inspired. They might only get a sense of peace that they are not alone in the world and for that you should consider trying to take some solace from the fact that by sharing your feelings (however awful they feel), you might just of made somebody's night or inspired them to share themselves.

Aeternum

Really don't know what to make of the counsellor I met yesterday. It wasn't like I expected at all, there was a lot of drawn out silences which made me feel really uncomfortable. I'll go again next week to give it another try but can't see myself lasting 6 weeks if they stay the same

Kayleigh..

I'm so done

scrimshanker

Kayleigh.. wrote: »

I'm so done

Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad... do you think venting would help?

carzony

alaskayoung wrote: »

If it's an SSRI you're on, they're weight neutral so that shouldn't be the cause of any weight gain.
Anti-psychotics or mood-stabilizers are known to cause weight gain though.

well lexapro is an ssri right? that's well known for gaining weight.

Kayleigh..

scrimshanker wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad... do you think venting would help?

I don't have anything to vent about..

scrimshanker

I'm sorry Kayleigh, I don't know what to say really. I know you've said you've been feeling suicidal for 6 months? Must be exhausting for you. Your courage in coping with that for so long is incredible. Is your doctor aware of how you are feeling? Is there anything that's even of physical comfort to you? A hot water bottle and bed? Big mug of herbal tea?

Call Me Jimmy

murria, good to hear from you again!

You were right in saying to tell me parents that I am struggling with the idea of it, rather then just telling them that I'm not doing it. I haven't said either yet but I will tell them how I feel about it. The only problem with this is my dad will probably jump the gun and say 'so you're telling me you're not doing it'. It's kind of annoying because they tell me to communicate more but if I communicate something they extract implications.

But I'm thinking ahead again. I will be speaking to the course person tomorrow and will ask them when is the latest I can confirm and other things maybe.

Drumpot, your advice is sound. I like the idea of the time commitment with a range of activities that can be done. I am still a stretch away from that sort of commitment though. Any commitment I feel I can't make because when my mind (and no doubt yours still does sometimes) switches to the Bad Pattern, it doesn't matter my awareness of it, it takes over. I am fully aware of it taking over, and when it does all bets are off.

Now, however, I'm not as certain I'm not going to do the course. Appreciate the advice

Roquentin

Hugo Stiglitz

Sorry to hear things are tough Kayleigh. Chat to us here why don't you

carzony

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of trouble I don't know what to do. Since before christmas has been my most isolated and painful time, where I haven't felt a moment of positivity, or even wanted to socialise at all. I usually see at least my closest friend every week or two, haven't seen him for a long time now. Don't have any humour in me, don't have any energy. I have my rituals and I do them and that's it.

I signed up for a course a while back when I was in a place where I at least still had 1% optimism. I was thinking that 'just doing it' would bring about changes in my mentality and life. But now it's time to confirm and I'm in bits. Thinking about what the reality is of leaving the house every day, sitting on the bus, sitting in the classroom, being tense, being embarrassed all the time, being in pain, having no social skills. I haven't done anything that required that level of involvement in 10 years. (College I attended <5% of lectures so maybe 2 hours a week, but a lot of weeks I didn't go to lectures, just went in to the labs and sat there until it was time to go home.

This course doesn't allow for missing anything. And you are supposed to have prepared already by swimming and or getting lessons. I haven't been able to bring myself to do that. So I still have a fear of the deep-end.

I've told my parents about it, they think I'm pretty much already going to do it and I'm worried about telling them I can't and crushing their hopes. I think they'll see it as me 'ducking and diving' it, will be possibly angry with me. They'll think 'well what are you going to do?'

Also if I don't do it, the dole office will want to know why. They were saying if they pay for it (expensive enough) and don't attend they'll cut my dole (which is completely fair), that's why I wanted to be 100% sure I would be able to do it.

On top of all this is how I've been living my life like I'm already dead and the day to day pain I'm in. As I said, I have my rituals but I really have lost it on the inside. I guess my attitude is I'm waiting for death, in the meantime curling up and being as safe as possible. Going to get my dole each week is in itself a stressful situation and I feel so tense until I get back home. If that's what it's like just going t the post office, I can't see how I can jump into this course.

I'm worried as hell about it, today will just be even more anxiety on top of what i've had lately. I don't know what to do

The course i'm in now doesnt allow you to miss anytime and i'v missed 17 days uncertified so far Explain your situation and you'll be fine:D My head teacher this year is a c~~t and chases me for doctors notes and calls me on days off. I had a word with her and explain about my situation and she has left me alone now :cool:


Maybe you could do a different course? or maybe a similar one? it sounds like a fitness related course there are plenty different types of them about.

Honestly collecting your dole and doing nothing all day makes things worse. Having something to do and somewhere to go makes things a lot better for your mental health alone. It actually terrifies me that my course ends in a few weeks as i'm not sure what i'll be doing.

Pick a course you want to do and even have a back up course(plan). Most of the courses are only a few hours a week and it's better than letting the dole pick one for you.

mg1982

CallmeJimmy man i know where your coming. I work on a part time basis, i could work full time but im not able too. I get terrible anxiety about going into that job, just being around people is hard work for me. But maybe just try and go in the first one or two days and see how you feel. If its too much then walk away then you can say at least you tried.

alaskayoung

carzony wrote: »

well lexapro is an ssri right? that's well known for gaining weight.

As far as I know it doesn't typically cause weight gain but I'm sure everyone can have different experiences with it.
Sorry just echoing the words of my psychiatrist.

Call Me Jimmy

mg1982 wrote: »

CallmeJimmy man i know where your coming. I work on a part time basis, i could work full time but im not able too. I get terrible anxiety about going into that job, just being around people is hard work for me. But maybe just try and go in the first one or two days and see how you feel. If its too much then walk away then you can say at least you tried.

Yea, it's just I have to confirm it. I don't think I can try it out because once I confirm it will be paid for and I'm committed. I'm sick with worry, full on anxiety my stomach feels like its made out of kryptonite, my whole body is tense. Not that things are serene ordinarily, but having to go outside on a regular basis is daunting atm.

mg1982

Whatever you feel able for yourself callmejimmy, dont put too much pressure on yourself just try and ride out the storm.

heyday30

I absolutely f''king despise this. Don't know what to do. Sick to death of it all.

loveisdivine

My workplace is so full of drama at the minute and it's really getting me down. I just want to do my work and go home.

I don't care about any of this nonsense.

murria

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Yea, it's just I have to confirm it. I don't think I can try it out because once I confirm it will be paid for and I'm committed. I'm sick with worry, full on anxiety my stomach feels like its made out of kryptonite, my whole body is tense. Not that things are serene ordinarily, but having to go outside on a regular basis is daunting atm.

People sign up for courses/clubs, pay the money and don't go back all the time and nothing too bad happens. I dare say Ben Dunne makes more money from the memberships of those who drop out of the gyms than the members who go three times a week.

If you don't go, how will you feel about yourself? It doesn't matter if your folks are a bit angry you'll all get over that, it doesn't matter if they cut your dole because you've said thats fair enough, it doesn't matter to the people on the course or running the course if you go or not they dont know you yet. There's not much you can't get out of in this world. You have to be ok with your decision and then if you decide not to confirm thats alright.

How will you feel if you do go? Anxious, happy, embarrassed, euphoric, uncomfortable, in pain, energised, proud, self conscious, confident? Who knows? Maybe a combination of all of those things. At least you will feel something other than dead, cos I imagine feeling dead is pretty grim. Im not a sporty person at all, but the only slightly sporty thing i can do is swim. It makes me feel great afterwards, i love that feeling of being held and supported by the waterand being able to move without pain or restriction, hearing my breath and counting my strokes and being in the moment.

I believe you can do this and maybe even enjoy it. I wonder what attracted you to this course in the first place, there must have been something that appealed to you. If you can't do it, you can't do it, but if you could it might give you a leg up out of the dark hole.

Roquentin

mg1982 wrote: »

CallmeJimmy man i know where your coming. I work on a part time basis, i could work full time but im not able too. I get terrible anxiety about going into that job, just being around people is hard work for me. But maybe just try and go in the first one or two days and see how you feel. If its too much then walk away then you can say at least you tried.

same with me. id prefer to be homeless than work with people

mg1982

Whats going on heyday30? hope u feel better soon.

scrimshanker

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Yea, it's just I have to confirm it. I don't think I can try it out because once I confirm it will be paid for and I'm committed. I'm sick with worry, full on anxiety my stomach feels like its made out of kryptonite, my whole body is tense. Not that things are serene ordinarily, but having to go outside on a regular basis is daunting atm.

Can you confirm and then talk to the instructors? Explain about your situation and give them a heads up on things like not to shout at you because that'll make matters worse, not leaving pairings for group work up to the class?

scrimshanker

Really agitated this evening, feeling dangerous. Really annoyed at the college counselling service, it took me months to working up to registering and not a peep out of them about an appointment. Why does it take longer than that to set up an initial appointment?!

Pecker31

Hi juat a quick question I suffer from anxiety and lately have become a little depressed. Went to doc and she prescribed a dose of etalopro for 28days. 5mg. Has anyone had any experiences with these. I'm asking cause I've never taken them before or any tablets for depression.
A little neevous of it. X

scrimshanker

I started taking etalopro 10mg a week and a half ago.. It's escitalopram, aka lexapro. Easiest to do a search for info that way. Suppose it hasnt been too bad. Hasn't done a whole heap, either, tbh but apparantly it takes time.