Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

mg1982

Its definitely an option roquentin. But the problem is where i live there arent many jobs around full stop.

Roquentin

mg1982 wrote: »

Its definitely an option roquentin. But the problem is where i live there arent many jobs around full stop.

ah yea. same with me. nothing in the line of work im looking for.

Roquentin

carzony

Didn't bother getting up this morning due to a sleepless night. Knackered all day but hopefully a good sleep tonight Least Monday is gone that's my worse day of the week..

Euphoria Intensifies

trigger warning for self-harm stuff behind spoiler tag

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh today is going badly. Feel so empty and horrible and

self-harmed and binged a lot. I think I might need to ask my housemate to keep my tablets in his room for a while.

. Horrible anxiety all day today as well.

Hope everyone else's day was a bit better than mine!

scrimshanker

Monday is an awful rough day. Been going since 0630 today and only just getting time now to try and unwind. I say try, because with 15.5 hour day, trying is the best it's gonna get to. Spent the day VERY anxious and not at all able to breathe properly for the whole day. Meh.

Gremlinertia

I'm giddy and anxious, feel like electricity is flowing through me.. Jaws are tightening too. A mania is coming.. Must stow things away..

Sorry for the rant since I haven't been here in a while.

scrimshanker

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm giddy and anxious, feel like electricity is flowing through me.. Jaws are tightening too. A mania is coming.. Must stow things away..

Sorry for the rant since I haven't been here in a while.

Rant away

Is there anything you can do to lessen the mania when you feel it coming on or is that a silly question?

Gremlinertia

The fact I can see it coming is an improvement in itself for me.. Very little self awareness at the best of times. I don't know if I can lessen it but I'm working on a kind of risk assessment here.. Keep away from some things.. How are you?

scrimshanker

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The fact I can see it coming is an improvement in itself for me.. Very little self awareness at the best of times. I don't know if I can lessen it but I'm working on a kind of risk assessment here.. Keep away from some things.. How are you?

That does sound like an improvement, well done.

I'm... Very much wired with anxiety. Honestly I spent an entire lecture today thinking of how to kill myself painlessly. Not going to act on it, it's more just I can't stop thinking about it. Been trying to prime people for the idea that I've failed my exams but everyone keeps dismissing it as nonsense and "sure you'll be grand". Just want the week to be done with already. Bet you're sorry you asked :P

Gremlinertia

Not a bit sorry at all!

Yeah I'm constantly thinking about my death and how I could pull it off to look accidental, not massively bothered by pain as I already have an ongoing pain problem.

carzony

Well a difficult morning for me. Just about made it in this morning. I feel like the pills are waring off or something

alaskayoung

<Must avoid the Leaving Cert thread to avoid feeling like a complete and utter failure>

Hugo Stiglitz

alaskayoung wrote: »

<Must avoid the Leaving Cert thread to avoid feeling like a complete and utter failure>

You're not a failure AY

scrimshanker

Couldn't last the day in college. Very shaky today. Got some "self-help" books out of the library. The paranoia of looking for them, thought everyone was watching and judging me even though I know most people couldn't give a toss what anyone else is doing.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Couldn't last the day in college. Very shaky today. Got some "self-help" books out of the library. The paranoia of looking for them, thought everyone was watching and judging me even though I know most people couldn't give a toss what anyone else is doing.

Sorry to hear that Scrim. Are you still shaky now or has it passed?

scrimshanker

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear that Scrim. Are you still shaky now or has it passed?

Still shaky Chest tight and left arm sore. Trying to convince myself I'm not having a heart attack. I know I'm not, I'm just being ridiculous.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Still shaky Chest tight and left arm sore. Trying to convince myself I'm not having a heart attack. I know I'm not, I'm just being ridiculous.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone

MojoRisinnnn

Hi guys I've never really posted in here before but I've lurked the thread quite a bit, I get terrible anxiety mainly in the evenings and last night I broke out in a rash! Ive a very important meeting this week and as usual I'm anxious but I feel semi-confident about it so I'm really confused,I've never had anything like this happen before I usually listen to some music or go for a jog but it was really terrifying to be covered in a rash, it could be coincidental but i'm not allerigic to anything and I've never had a rash before, anyone ever experience anything like this? Trying not to google anything as it always makes me feel worse

Hugo Stiglitz

MojoRisinnnn wrote: »

Hi guys I've never really posted in here before but I've lurked the thread quite a bit, I get terrible anxiety mainly in the evenings and last night I broke out in a rash! Ive a very important meeting this week and as usual I'm anxious but I feel semi-confident about it so I'm really confused,I've never had anything like this happen before I usually listen to some music or go for a jog but it was really terrifying to be covered in a rash, it could be coincidental but i'm not allerigic to anything and I've never had a rash before, anyone ever experience anything like this? Trying not to google anything as it always makes me feel worse

Hey there MR,

Sorry to hear what's happening to you there at the moment.

No changes in anything like medication, washing powder or anything like that? Could just be down to the anxiety.

scrimshanker

I finally heard back from the counselling service... I've to do 4 weeks of lunchtime workshops before I can get an appointment. I don't even know how to process this. What in the name of god are they playing at? I can't go to workshops. Just proves that all this business about "just reach out and the supports are there" is an absolute crock. Why are they putting obstacles like that in the way? I don't get it I could be dead before I get to see anyone.

Euphoria Intensifies

scrimshanker wrote: »

I finally heard back from the counselling service... I've to do 4 weeks of lunchtime workshops before I can get an appointment. I don't even know how to process this. What in the name of god are they playing at? I can't go to workshops. Just proves that all this business about "just reach out and the supports are there" is an absolute crock. Why are they putting obstacles like that in the way? I don't get it I could be dead before I get to see anyone.

Are the workshops on at an inaccessible time, or do you feel you would be too anxious to attend them? If you feel like you can't attend them due to anxiety or for any other reasons, I'd let the counselling service know. Tell them you need an individual appointment straight away as you're worried about the effects the anxiety is having on you. Hope it gets sorted.

scrimshanker

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Are the workshops on at an inaccessible time, or do you feel you would be too anxious to attend them? If you feel like you can't attend them due to anxiety or for any other reasons, I'd let the counselling service know. Tell them you need an individual appointment straight away as you're worried about the effects the anxiety is having on you. Hope it gets sorted.

Would that not make me look like an awful malingerer? Like I think of doing that, but then I think I'm making it all up and if I go in there having made a big fuss about it I won't have anything to say for myself and won't be able to explain because there's actually nothing wrong with me or wrong in my life that I can explain as causing this and I'll just sit there smiling inappropriately wishing I could get out of there. What a mess

Euphoria Intensifies

scrimshanker wrote: »

Would that not make me look like an awful malingerer? Like I think of doing that, but then I think I'm making it all up and if I go in there having made a big fuss about it I won't have anything to say for myself and won't be able to explain because there's actually nothing wrong with me or wrong in my life that I can explain as causing this and I'll just sit there smiling inappropriately wishing I could get out of there. What a mess

No, it won't make you seem like anyone other than someone who wants a bit of help and support. I know how you feel, I always have doubts about whether I'm actually sick or if I'm just making up my issues, but then I remember that it's not good for anyone to feel like **** all the time, and that not everyone feels this way. Ring up or go in to have a chat with the secretary and tell them what you've said here - that you don't think you can attend workshops and feel you need to be seen sooner rather than later. There probably would be no harm in making an appointment with the doctor in the student health centre, or your own GP and ask them to write a letter for you to say that you need to be seen and to skip the workshops.

---

I am having another horrible day. Love being constantly suicidal. And no doubt I'll prob be super hyper later. I wish I was back in time when I was able to kind of manage my BPD a little bit.

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

I am having another horrible day. Love being constantly suicidal. And no doubt I'll prob be super hyper later. I wish I was back in time when I was able to kind of manage my BPD a little bit.

So sorry to hear that EI. Is anything causing this today?

Euphoria Intensifies

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

So sorry to hear that EI. Is anything causing this today?

No, there's nothing causing it really. Just my mind being a prick. Seeing psych tomorrow so we'll see what they say.

How are you doing Hugo?

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

No, there's nothing causing it really. Just my mind being a prick. Seeing psych tomorrow so we'll see what they say.

Hope you're doing well Hugo.

Our own minds can be our worst enemies at times. I hope it passes soon.

Roquentin

“There are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely-or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.”


― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

scrimshanker

Right, I emailed back saying I have a full day that day and only have that one hour for lunch, so is it absolutely compulsory. We'll see... I'll bring up the anxiety if she says I really should go..

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

I finally heard back from the counselling service... I've to do 4 weeks of lunchtime workshops before I can get an appointment. I don't even know how to process this. What in the name of god are they playing at? I can't go to workshops. Just proves that all this business about "just reach out and the supports are there" is an absolute crock. Why are they putting obstacles like that in the way? I don't get it I could be dead before I get to see anyone.

I think it is completely stupid that you have to do 4 weeks of lunchtime workshops. Maybe it is to ease the pressure off the counselling service. That some people will find the workshops beneficial and won't need one-on-one counselling. But it is really irresponsible as well. Some people need help on a more immediate basis. And the workshop sounds pretty intimidating. That would put people off as well. That is a pretty ****e situation. I would definitely be having be ringing/calling into the secretary saying you need immediate help.