Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

I think it is completely stupid that you have to do 4 weeks of lunchtime workshops. Maybe it is to ease the pressure off the counselling service. That some people will find the workshops beneficial and won't need one-on-one counselling. But it is really irresponsible as well. Some people need help on a more immediate basis. And the workshop sounds pretty intimidating. That would put people off as well. That is a pretty ****e situation. I would definitely be having be ringing/calling into the secretary saying you need immediate help.

Got a response, don't have to go

Thank feck, now just need to wait on an appointment. Really relieved.

And it's so unfair but I was already starting to resent the counsellor and dismiss the whole thing as useless and not going to help. So glad I got a sorta understanding reply back. Might be hope for the whole process yet.

greenfrogs

That's great news Scrimshanker. And it's nice they were understanding. It makes such a difference. You have done the first step so well done.

mg1982

Is it just me or do people think they can treat you like dirt because they see you as a soft touch. Im the passive aggressive type so i let a lot of things slide and i hate confrontation but it doesnt give people the right to walk over you.

Call Me Jimmy

Any advice for someone going to the GP about this? I'm thinking maybe having something written down, but I think I remember doing something like that the first time I went to see someone and felt a bit stupid.

I'm afraid if I just start talking I mightn't get across what's been going on. I feel trapped, dizzy, tense, empty. Been living in almost complete isolation for 3 years now. Have already given up and as cliche as it sounds can't see a way out (because I know the types of things my mind is going to do to sabotage any attempts at recovery.)

Although I'm under a lot of stress, I may not be when I'm talking. I'm afraid I won't be believed.

mg1982

This happens every time i see a medical proffesional callmejimmy, i end up forgetting half the things i needed to say. Would strongly advise writing it all down beforehand.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Is it just me or do people think they can treat you like dirt because they see you as a soft touch. Im the passive aggressive type so i let a lot of things slide and i hate confrontation but it doesnt give people the right to walk over you.

Yah I am quiet and shy. I hate thinking that someone has taken advantage of me. It makes me really angry but I rarely let it show. It is far better to address the situation calmly but I usually ignore it.

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Any advice for someone going to the GP about this? I'm thinking maybe having something written down, but I think I remember doing something like that the first time I went to see someone and felt a bit stupid.

Although I'm under a lot of stress, I may not be when I'm talking. I'm afraid I won't be believed.

Yah for many years I put off going to the doctor because at the back of my head I was thinking what if the doctor doesn't believe me and says there's nothing wrong with me. I also believed I was making a fuss about nothing. Your GP is there to help you when you need it. They will listen and be understanding. It sounds like a great idea to write down things you want to discuss.

Gremlinertia

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Any advice for someone going to the GP about this? I'm thinking maybe having something written down, but I think I remember doing something like that the first time I went to see someone and felt a bit stupid.

I'm afraid if I just start talking I mightn't get across what's been going on. I feel trapped, dizzy, tense, empty. Been living in almost complete isolation for 3 years now. Have already given up and as cliche as it sounds can't see a way out (because I know the types of things my mind is going to do to sabotage any attempts at recovery.)

Although I'm under a lot of stress, I may not be when I'm talking. I'm afraid I won't be believed.

Absolutely write things down, i first wrote things down for my gp years back because i was extremely anxious and would pretty much 'lock up' and become unable to speak, still happens. I've done the same for a few other docs in hospital and while one or two said it was unusual, all were quite positive about it as a list made sure no symptoms were overlooked..

Go for it, and best of luck..

scrimshanker

Today is very much a wanting to die day. I really don't want to live any more. Pain offering very limited relief.

Gremlinertia

scrimshanker wrote: »

Today is very much a wanting to die day. I really don't want to live any more. Pain offering very limited relief.

I had one of those yesterday. Wanted to actually get out of my own skin.. Had a few drinks, not such a good idea, then went to bed, which was a much better idea.. I hope this passes soon for you.

norwegianwood

I have a counselling appointment booked for Friday I don't even know how I'm going to last till then, I wish this would just stop I wish I was dead

Toyotafanboi

norwegianwood wrote: »

I have a counselling appointment booked for Friday I don't even know how I'm going to last till then, I wish this would just stop I wish I was dead

you will last. I've had those days. I feel anything i say will come across as patronising, just focus on holding it together until Friday. You can do it. You are so close to the first step of getting better

You've lived a lifetime to this point. Offer yourself 2 more days. It'l get better from there.

Gremlinertia

Hi Norwegian, i have been there, unfortunately probably will again before i fix this, but i will find coping methods and fix it eventually.. I think you may too, sometimes i repeat 'this too will pass' to myself, i hate it at first, but sometimes i can drum it into me a bit. Have to sleep now, but if you want to pm i'll catch you later.

mg1982

Man i feel the worst today. Its days like this that death would feel like such a relief so the pain would be over.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Man i feel the worst today. Its days like this that death would feel like such a relief so the pain would be over.

Sorry to hear that MG Hang in there friend

scrimshanker

Sounds like everyone is having bad days today. Thinking of you all

Kimbot

Still having bad days but went to the Doc the other day, hes stumped as to why im so down so I have to go see a psychologist. He also put me on Zispin to help me sleep and they really are knocking me for 6, im falling alseep at my desk most of the day. Hopefully things start turning around soon cos I cant keep feeling like this forever.

Euphoria Intensifies

Guys, if you are seriously considering suicide or have a plan for how to end your life, please, please reach out and get help. Either go to your local A&E (be prepared to wait for a while) or ring Samaritans on 116 123.

If you don't want to do the above, try and distract yourself from the suicidal thoughts. Distractions I find useful are:
- talking to a friend
- watching TV or a movie (ideally something funny and comforting like Parks and Rec, Friends, The Office, Community etc)
- sleeping through it if possible
- doing an activity with your hands (I like to paint my nails and use colouring books. If you like to draw, knit, play music or anything else like that they're good)
- playing games (on your phone, xbox, whatever)
- writing down how I feel/journaling.
- doing some meditation and mindfulness

There's loads more that you could do either. You will get through this. This is a horrible, rough experience to be going through, but you can and will get through it.

If you're having suicidal thoughts on a regular basis, ask your GP to refer you to the local mental health services - there is support there if you are in crisis, and getting referred doesn't mean you will automatically end up in a psych ward. There's lots of other types of interventions.

Stay safe and look after yourselves. You will get through this. Talk to us here too, but you need more support than this thread at the end of the day.

Gremlinertia

Good post euphoria.. I think a good few posters here suffer suicidal thoughts and ideation.. Luckily we have this thread to voice our worries. While I don't like my illness I do like our little unit here..

scrimshanker

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Good post euphoria.. I think a good few posters here suffer suicidal thoughts and ideation.. Luckily we have this thread to voice our worries. While I don't like my illness I do like our little unit here..

Totally agree. Although I will say that if anyone wants me to stop complaining just say the word and I will, I know I get a bit hard to take! While I'm not suicidal I often do think about it and contemplate it and sometimes I can't think about anything other than suicide, but what I've found in this thread is that sometimes actually saying it, well typing I guess, kinda takes the sting out of the thoughts, I find it makes them a bit less powerful. Don't know about anyone else though, could just be me

It's a great bunch of people on here

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Totally agree. Although I will say that if anyone wants me to stop complaining just say the word and I will, I know I get a bit hard to take! While I'm not suicidal I often do think about it and contemplate it and sometimes I can't think about anything other than suicide, but what I've found in this thread is that sometimes actually saying it, well typing I guess, kinda takes the sting out of the thoughts, I find it makes them a bit less powerful. Don't know about anyone else though, could just be me

It's a great bunch of people on here

Complain all you want in here Scrim! I do plenty of it!

Euphoria Intensifies

scrimshanker wrote: »

Totally agree. Although I will say that if anyone wants me to stop complaining just say the word and I will, I know I get a bit hard to take! While I'm not suicidal I often do think about it and contemplate it and sometimes I can't think about anything other than suicide, but what I've found in this thread is that sometimes actually saying it, well typing I guess, kinda takes the sting out of the thoughts, I find it makes them a bit less powerful. Don't know about anyone else though, could just be me

It's a great bunch of people on here

I get exactly what you mean scrimshanker. When I have suicidal thoughts, it really does help to talk to someone (whether it's online, or in person or on the phone), because it does take some of the power away from the thoughts and makes it seem less scary.

Sorry - I hope my post didn't come across like that we shouldn't post here. I just meant that it's good to have other support networks too, just in case there isn't anyone online for a while to respond to a post. This is a lovely thread with a good community

Gremlinertia

I'm similar. I find it such a relief to let this thread know what I'm thinking as most around me wouldn't(to my knowledge) thought like this.. Also while my 'in real life' friends wouldn mostly know I've depression problems I don't generally go into it in depth because I'm scared of them treating me differently. Worried too that I could cause them stress, whereas in here it's more like a uniting bond..

Huh I didn't think I was posting a long one, sorry.

Hugo Stiglitz

This thread is a godsend for me. It allows me to open up and get things off my chest.

greenfrogs

Yah it is so nice to know that we are not alone. I don't speak to anyone about my depression in detail except health professionals. So it is nice to have this place. I feel that no one is judged here and we can speak freely. I am sure if I went to my family or friend they would freak out at some of my thoughts and ramblings.

And Euphoria Intensifies I love your list of activities to distract yourself especially the colouring book idea. I have always loved colouring books. I have a journal now that I write down my thoughts in as well, I find that idea also very good.

Call Me Jimmy

Feeling very deep anger tonight. Any one else just get ****ing enraged sometimes? When ye stop for a second and realise what a ****ing mess it all is. What a ****ing mess. Going to have to go to the GP next day or two, it's just every day I say tomorrow. And part of me just wants to say **** it, I doubt I can live with myself even if I get help. Disgustingly cynical mind that I never thought I'd have. Won't be able to form any relationships. Just enduring enduring enduring, absorbing hell and holding onto it. I can't relax, not one second of happiness or no stress. My body is just buzzing with anxiety and anger and stress. Pffft ****in joke

Hugo Stiglitz

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Feeling very deep anger tonight. Any one else just get ****ing enraged sometimes? When ye stop for a second and realise what a ****ing mess it all is. What a ****ing mess. Going to have to go to the GP next day or two, it's just every day I say tomorrow. And part of me just wants to say **** it, I doubt I can live with myself even if I get help. Disgustingly cynical mind that I never thought I'd have. Won't be able to form any relationships. Just enduring enduring enduring, absorbing hell and holding onto it. I can't relax, not one second of happiness or no stress. My body is just buzzing with anxiety and anger and stress. Pffft ****in joke

I get ya Jimmy. I used to think it was just my old man's mood but I'm not too sure.

greenfrogs

Well maybe try to break down the task of going to the doctor into small tasks
First get dressed
Write down a list of things you want to discuss with your GP
Then drive/walk to the doctor
Then wait for appointment
Speak to doctor.

Maybe if it helps think about how you will feel after you have been to the doctor.

Don't be so harsh on yourself. Things can and will get better.

mg1982

Jeez callmejimmy your really going through a hard times at the moment. I feel for you mate. If you can muster the strength at all try and make it to the doctors in the next few days. Even that one simple step might make a difference to how your feeling and put you on the road to recovery however long it will take.

mg1982

I just want to thank euphoriaintensifies for taking the time to write that lovely message and there was lots of good advice on it too.

Wilberto

If I was to guess, i'd say that there must have been something in the air today, because my day wasn't exactly full of roses either, to put it mildly. It was really disappointing too after a seemingly good day yesterday.