Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Gremlinertia

mg1982 wrote: »

i feel sometimes i have early onset dementia. i can barely have a conversation with anyone now because it takes me so long to process what people are saying, brain fog, confusion and short term memory is really bad

I have days or times like that and I do get the odd funny look as people wait for a response.. I haven't found any real solutions there but I did notice an improvement when I went back to doing crosswords.. I spent so long staring silently that when interrupted I forgot how to react. I'm still very self-conscious about it and so when I'm engaged I talk altogether too fast.. From one extreme to another.

Gremlinertia

For some reason I've become extremely tense and now my jaws are flexing, close to grinding my teeth. I've had no coffee and nothing untoward has happened.. The mind is a strange, strange thing.

Euphoria Intensifies

I definitely know what you all mean re: brain fog/lack of concentration/memory issues. Pretty much a constant issue in my life and it's so annoying. I haven't a great diet etc though, so that doesn't help I'm sure. Trying to drink more water to see if that will help too.

I've been having really horrible recurring dreams lately and it means I've been waking up being really anxious

CaptainInsano

mg1982 wrote: »

i feel sometimes i have early onset dementia. i can barely have a conversation with anyone now because it takes me so long to process what people are saying, brain fog, confusion and short term memory is really bad

Can relate so much to this. I used to be really sharp and bright in school, could quickly learn anything and loved maths. I'm a mess these days, takes ages to process anything, friends get frustrated because I ask the same questions over and over, forget plans I've made, can't write to save my life without leaving out key words, and brain fog to no end. If I have about two pints I forget all the topics of conversation from the previous night. Is there something in the water?!

mg1982

I think the brain fog might be related to the dissociation i feel and it just adds to the spaced out feeling. im surprised i can tie my own shoelaces at this stage. lol

Pecker31

Does anyone every feel afraid that they are going to feel like this forever, does it pass? I am starting my first round of CBT on Wednesday, can that change my really negative and anxious mind? I am always going to be like this and never happy. On no meds at the mo, do they make you feel less stressed and stop the irrational anxiety?

greenfrogs

CaptainInsano wrote: »

Can relate so much to this. I used to be really sharp and bright in school, could quickly learn anything and loved maths. I'm a mess these days, takes ages to process anything, friends get frustrated because I ask the same questions over and over, forget plans I've made, can't write to save my life without leaving out key words, and brain fog to no end. If I have about two pints I forget all the topics of conversation from the previous night. Is there something in the water?!

I'm the same with the questions. In my head I know that I have thought about asking a question but can't remember if I actually asked it out loud or not.

I'm off work currently on doctor's orders. I am dreading looking for work. I'd hate to be working in a job that requires any thinking/remembering. It would knock my confidence even further. The whole job thing is a pain. I wish I could work somewhere that would fully know about my illness and what my limitations are. The real working environment seems a harsh place.

Has anyone any recommendation on how to improve concentration/memory?

Roquentin

mg1982 wrote: »

i feel sometimes i have early onset dementia. i can barely have a conversation with anyone now because it takes me so long to process what people are saying, brain fog, confusion and short term memory is really bad

schizoid or schizotypal no?

carzony

greenfrogs wrote: »

The real working environment seems a harsh place.

i was out of work for a while and then went back to college, i'v been in college for 2 years and in that time i developed the anxiety. The thoughts of going back to work frightens me as i'm not sure how i'll cope with it :(:(

Drumpot

Pecker31 wrote: »

Does anyone every feel afraid that they are going to feel like this forever, does it pass? I am starting my first round of CBT on Wednesday, can that change my really negative and anxious mind? I am always going to be like this and never happy. On no meds at the mo, do they make you feel less stressed and stop the irrational anxiety?

Whenever I feel really down I think very negatively about everything in my life. Sometimes I feel on top of the world, motivated and excited about what lies ahead. In the space of a day I can feel like this is a horrible horrible world, not wanting to get out of bed and just dreading the impending death that will arrive at some stage . .

I have to say that since CBT and group therapy (AWARE and other therapies) I get these feelings much less. I am so much more balanced and I can set realistic expectations on life.

Good for you for giving CBT a shot. Might I suggest that you consider trying to go to the therapy without setting an expectation of how you want to feel afterwards? I used to have the tendency to think that if a certain therapy didn't make me feel better immediately, that it wasn't working.

If you think about it logically, many of us here are looking to change habits and a certain mind-set that has overwhelmed us for years (in my case decades). For me, this wasn't a case of taking 3 tablets a night and reading a self help book and getting in a bit of therapy when I could. It was about accepting a new programme for living, which I think CBT can be if a person surrenders to its teachings. Most of the stuff is common sense and very basic to a point where I was embarrassed. But, for me its helped me grow as a person and lead a much more fulfilling life.

I went into the CBT programme committing to the sessions and put aside my cynicism and expectations. I basically acted as though I was getting a new brain and accepted that I needed to listen, learn and practise whatever I was told.

You may have loads of questions and even doubts after your CBT, but to me that's just natural. It challenged my way of living/thinking and that can be difficult to accept.

greenfrogs

Pecker31 wrote: »

Does anyone every feel afraid that they are going to feel like this forever, does it pass? I am starting my first round of CBT on Wednesday, can that change my really negative and anxious mind? I am always going to be like this and never happy. On no meds at the mo, do they make you feel less stressed and stop the irrational anxiety?

I am currently receiving CBT. I look at where I am now compared to where I was before I started CBT and there is a big improvement. It changes the way you think about things. It does require a lot of work. Sometimes I wonder will I ever be better but I know that bar a few (a good few :pac:) stumbles I am improving slowly on a day to day basis. I find I am less down and less anxious with social situations. My therapist and GP think I have made great progress as well.

I am on medication as well. I was very very down when I was diagnosed with depression. The GP told me the medication would get me to a better place so that therapy would be more beneficial to me.

Roquentin

greenfrogs wrote: »

I'm the same with the questions. In my head I know that I have thought about asking a question but can't remember if I actually asked it out loud or not.

I'm off work currently on doctor's orders. I am dreading looking for work. I'd hate to be working in a job that requires any thinking/remembering. It would knock my confidence even further. The whole job thing is a pain. I wish I could work somewhere that would fully know about my illness and what my limitations are. The real working environment seems a harsh place.

Has anyone any recommendation on how to improve concentration/memory?

its a snake pit alright. i realized in a eureka moment recently that the mechanics of relationships all share the same pattern regardless of where you go.

whether you are starting a new job or making new friends , after a period of time people start to judge you. then you either have to escape again or take it.

the problem with escaping is that it will happen again in a new setting. people will judge regardless of where you go.

Pecker31

greenfrogs wrote: »

I am currently receiving CBT. I look at where I am now compared to where I was before I started CBT and there is a big improvement. It changes the way you think about things. It does require a lot of work. Sometimes I wonder will I ever be better but I know that bar a few (a good few :pac:) stumbles I am improving slowly on a day to day basis. I find I am less down and less anxious with social situations. My therapist and GP think I have made great progress as well.

I am on medication as well. I was very very down when I was diagnosed with depression. The GP told me the medication would get me to a better place so that therapy would be more beneficial to me.

Thanks for that, I was prescribed ETALOPRO.5mg. Do you know what they do for you? Do they just make your mind relax? If they do then I'll take them now!! Its hard to know if I am very depressed or depressed. some days are very dark then others are good, suppose thats lift tho

greenfrogs

People are judgmental alright. I really struggled in my last job both in terms of work and with my colleagues. I was eventually left go due to poor performance. I feel I was treated very badly there. But I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin nowadays. I feel before that people thought I was very strange. I suppose the thing I am trying to say is that we all have at least one person we can depend on. I have my family, one friend, my therapist and my GP. Therefore I feel a lot more prepared to deal with the world. I can handle peoples judgement now.

Having people talking about what happened with the job situation was very upsetting and it took time for me to get over that. For me as a person I try not to judge/complain/gossip about others. If other people do that then that is what they chose to do with their time. I have more important things to do.

greenfrogs

Pecker31 wrote: »

Thanks for that, I was prescribed ETALOPRO.5mg. Do you know what they do for you? Do they just make your mind relax? If they do then I'll take them now!! Its hard to know if I am very depressed or depressed. some days are very dark then others are good, suppose thats lift tho

Maybe you should discuss it more with your GP or pharmacist if you are unsure on whether to take it or not.

Pecker31

greenfrogs wrote: »

Maybe you should discuss it more with your GP or pharmacist if you are unsure on whether to take it or not.

Ya at €50.00 a visit I am trying my best to keep it at a min!!

greenfrogs

Oh yah it is pricey. Pharmacists have a wide knowledge of meds and illnesses so maybe ask them if you want to.

I personally have found the medication great as it put me in a better head space. It's hard to remember at the time exactly how I felt as it's a good few months ago but I do remember feeling much better than I had in a long time and feeling grateful for modern medicine. I had very few side effects from the meds and the side-effects I did have disappeared after a few weeks.

Roquentin

greenfrogs wrote: »

People are judgmental alright. I really struggled in my last job both in terms of work and with my colleagues. I was eventually left go due to poor performance. I feel I was treated very badly there. But I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin nowadays. I feel before that people thought I was very strange. I suppose the thing I am trying to say is that we all have at least one person we can depend on. I have my family, one friend, my therapist and my GP. Therefore I feel a lot more prepared to deal with the world. I can handle peoples judgement now.

Having people talking about what happened with the job situation was very upsetting and it took time for me to get over that. For me as a person I try not to judge/complain/gossip about others. If other people do that then that is what they chose to do with their time. I have more important things to do.

psychologists say that the reason why gossip is so prevalent is because it brings people closer with regards interpersonal relationships. i was the same as you, i tried to be nice to everyone and tried not to gossip and you kind of get alienated because of it.

There was so much tribalism. one group talked about another group and the other group talked about them. youd think in the 21st century people could just be nice, but no still the same evolutionary greed.

Pecker31

greenfrogs wrote: »

Oh yah it is pricey. Pharmacists have a wide knowledge of meds and illnesses so maybe ask them if you want to.

I personally have found the medication great as it put me in a better head space. It's hard to remember at the time exactly how I felt as it's a good few months ago but I do remember feeling much better than I had in a long time and feeling grateful for modern medicine. I had very few side effects from the meds and the side-effects I did have disappeared after a few weeks.

Sounds positive, thanks for your help and time

greenfrogs

Roquentin wrote: »

psychologists say that the reason why gossip is so prevalent is because it brings people closer with regards interpersonal relationships. i was the same as you, i tried to be nice to everyone and tried not to gossip and you kind of get alienated because of it.

There was so much tribalism. one group talked about another group and the other group talked about them. youd think in the 21st century people could just be nice, but no still the same evolutionary greed.

Yah I can see how gossiping can bring people together. I can't say I tried to be nice to everyone in my last place. They mostly irritated me and I avoided speaking to them. That was probably due to the depression though.

I would prefer to talk about shared hobbies and/or interests. I think gossiping about your manager is different than about a fellow worker as sometimes you need to blow off steam about managers etc. But nasty gossip brings my mood down. I still remember in my last workplace a few of them discussing how their mothers had aged. One said her mother aged terribly, one said her mom wouldn't be milf status but she was grand and the last was her mom looked good until 50.

heyday30

The work thing frightens the bejasus out of me too.
I haven't worked for two years now. Was in an awful state before I gave up. Made my self very ill. I worked in a factory. Massive target driven numbers of product to be gotten even day. Very stressful environment. No room at all for human error. I'd only eat once a day cause there was no way of having a bathroom break only at allocated lunch times ( I have ibs)

Couple that with dealing with an abusive partner, insomnia crippling depression and self harming, I don't know how I'm still here.

I do beat myself up quite a bit over not working, I come from a family wit strong work ethic but I try turn it round in my head. I tried and worked for 12 years so I don't feel guilty about it so much anymore. I suppose that's where the CBT comes in.

Feel a little bit on the scrap heap but I feel with baby steps I can at least get to a place where I can at least do a part time course.

Rambling again sorry

greenfrogs

heyday30 wrote: »

The work thing frightens the bejasus out of me too.
I haven't worked for two years now. Was in an awful state before I gave up. Made my self very ill. I worked in a factory. Massive target driven numbers of product to be gotten even day. Very stressful environment. No room at all for human error. I'd only eat once a day cause there was no way of having a bathroom break only at allocated lunch times ( I have ibs)

Feel a little bit on the scrap heap but I feel with baby steps I can at least get to a place where I can at least do a part time course.

Rambling again sorry

That's the best attitude to have. It is baby steps that will get us to where we want to be in life. There's no point in getting ahead of ourselves because we are just setting ourselves up for failure.

Some work environments can be very stressful so it was for the best you got out of it. No job is worth your health. How are you finding the IBS now?

mg1982

Roquentin wrote: »

schizoid or schizotypal no?

Actually i was told i do have traits of schizoid personality type. I did one of these long winded personality tests for my psycologist. A lot of other stuff came up too.

Roquentin

mg1982 wrote: »

Actually i was told i do have traits of schizoid personality type. I did one of these long winded personality tests for my psycologist. A lot of other stuff came up too.

could be schizotypal which is just an extension of schizoid but with anxiety or paranoia.

one trait with both is that they find people difficult. they find it very hard to be around people. they often complain about having to "entertain" everyone.

I myself cant tolerate people or uncertainty. im very good at working alone though. i suspect im schizoid or schizotypal.

i suffer from anhedonia, avolition and alogia

heyday30

greenfrogs wrote: »

That's the best attitude to have. It is baby steps that will get us to where we want to be in life. There's no point in getting ahead of ourselves because we are just setting ourselves up for failure.

Some work environments can be very stressful so it was for the best you got out of it. No job is worth your health. How are you finding the IBS now?

I have good weeks n bad weeks with the ibs it's very much worsened by stress. Some foods r no go either Most veg believe it or not

scrimshanker

heyday30 wrote: »

I have good weeks n bad weeks with the ibs it's very much worsened by stress. Some foods r no go either Most veg believe it or not

have you tried a low fodmap diet?

scrimshanker

doc tomorrow. freaking out. no way can i tell him everything.

heyday30

scrimshanker wrote: »

doc tomorrow. freaking out. no way can i tell him everything.

Write it down my friend. Be honest off load what you need too.
Hope you get on ok x

Gremlinertia

Pecker31 wrote: »

Thanks for that, I was prescribed ETALOPRO.5mg. Do you know what they do for you? Do they just make your mind relax? If they do then I'll take them now!! Its hard to know if I am very depressed or depressed. some days are very dark then others are good, suppose thats lift tho

Hi there, remember that dispensing pharmacists are highly trained about medicines so you can also ask them about what you have been prescribed, I've no idea what it is but even if I did I'm not qualified to say anything to you pro or con.

Gremlinertia

scrimshanker wrote: »

doc tomorrow. freaking out. no way can i tell him everything.

I second AND third wha. Heyday said.. I can't begin to tell you how badly I locked up (as I call it) when I went to my doc. I was pretty sure I'd panic so writing was all I could do.. I even dropped the damn note trying to hand it over..

Scrim, if I could do that, you can do this..