Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

greenfrogs

For me it's that I have anger issues and develop intense relationships with men. I feel even a guy didn't reply to my text then I would become anxious, worried, angry, upset, abandoned. I would then lash out at this person because I felt rejected. I would apologise and say it wouldn't happen again. But it always did. Eventually they would begin to ignore my call and texts. I would continue trying contact them. In my head all my energy and attention becomes focused on them. I can't concentrate on anything else. I just can't cope with it anymore. I am tired of looking like an idiot and acting like an idiot. But I feel I have little power over it.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

For me it's that I have anger issues and develop intense relationships with men. I feel even a guy didn't reply to my text then I would become anxious, worried, angry, upset, abandoned. I would then lash out at this person because I felt rejected. I would apologise and say it wouldn't happen again. But it always did. Eventually they would begin to ignore my call and texts. I would continue trying contact them. In my head all my energy and attention becomes focused on them. I can't concentrate on anything else. I just can't cope with it anymore. I am tired of looking like an idiot and acting like an idiot. But I feel I have little power over it.

Well im no expert but it does sound like BPD traits, What you need now is a proper diagnosis and effective treatment and DBT would be part of that. Are you currently seeing a therapist or psychiatrist?

Euphoria Intensifies

Yeah it is called emotionally unstable personality disorder in Ireland, as the HSE uses the ICD-10 diagnostic criteria as opposed to DSM-5. Most of the psych/treatment staff I've dealt with still seem to refer to it as borderline personality disorder mostly, I guess because that's what it was referred to until recently and it's what most of the information/self-help books use.

As mg1982 said, if you feel like you identify with some or all of the borderline traits, then do have a chat with your GP about getting referred to the local mental health services or a private psychiatrist so you can get the assessments done. BPD is a bit of a spectrum and just because you are diagnosed with it doesn't mean that you will fit the full diagnosis forever (e.g. I'm just diagnosed with traits now, whereas I fit the full criteria in the past). So don't be scared about it.

One of my friends came oer earlier; was so lovely to see her having people around me can really help sometimes.

greenfrogs

Yah I am doing CBT and I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow. All through the HSE. The CBT has worked really well. But in relation to these intense relationships it's not really effective at all. It's causing me great distress. I don't care what I have. I just want this sorted.

carzony

Morning folks........

On the train atm feeling a bit off but nothing I cant handle. ( hopefully )

greenfrogs

My appointment with psychiatrist went really well. She has referred me to a clinical psychologist. She thinks I have BPD but just wants to see it diagnosed. She also said I will definitely be starting a DBT course in the next while as the CBT isn't working. I just hope that the consultant psychiatrist agrees with her as she needs to sign the referral forms.

Euphoria Intensifies

Fingers crossed it all goes well for you greenfrogs. I'm sure the reg wouldn't say it if she thought the consultant would disagree.

I had a pretty okay day today actually. App with the psychologist went well and got one of my assignments handed in. Struggling with self-care at the minute though. I really need to put on a wash and do some grocery shopping and cooking, but I just can't be arsed >_<

mg1982

Thats great news greenfrogs and hopefully its a first step to recovery for you. I have an appointment tomorrow with my psychiatrist so hoping that goes ok. Im maybe thinking of switching from Lexapro to Lyrica to help with anxiety but will see what he says.

loveisdivine

Any one else find "positive thinking" kinda scary? The negative is horrible but also familiar and easier.

I've been doing a lot better lately but I still have really bad days in between the good. The negative, self loathing thinking is so easy to slip into. Plus I always feel like the negative is the truth and the positive is just me trying to let myself off the hook for things.

I know in reality the negative is lies and over reactions but it sure is easy to get swept away.

Hugo Stiglitz

loveisdivine wrote: »

Any one else find "positive thinking" kinda scary? The negative is horrible but also familiar and easier.

I've been doing a lot better lately but I still have really bad days in between the good. The negative, self loathing thinking is so easy to slip into. Plus I always feel like the negative is the truth and the positive is just me trying to let myself off the hook for things.

I know in reality the negative is lies and over reactions but it sure is easy to get swept away.

Yeah I find it scary LID. It also appears to be so much work on a long haul too. I don't know if would be able to stay the course with it.

greenfrogs

It can be scary and daunting that the road to recovery seems never ending. I am kind of in limbo at the moment. The psychiatrist said I don't have depression but borderline personality disorder. She talked about reducing my anti depressants dose. I really think I need them for the foreseeable future. I used be so down before. I never want to go back there.

Joya

havent posted here a while.. just dont know whats got into me lately but i can hardly study at all for weeks now and i fell so much behind everything.. seems cannot push myself to even start and just waiting for days to pass... and the stress is accumulating but even that does not push me over the line.. im postponing everything regardless what it is.. and all of that is just making me kindof sick of myself.. like trapped in a bad bad cycle..
sorry for "venting" but just had to start talking.......

Gremlinertia

Had my first group meeting of the DBT course yesterday, felt like i'd been hit by a truck, anxiety is tiring, sitting in group setting for nearly three hours was hard.. But i've done it and lived through, hardest step taken for now i guess.

Joya

wow grem so good you were able to manage that! *joya admires*

mg1982

Seen the psychiatrist yesterday, it was a different one again which is very frustrating. Told him about the paranoia anxiety and intrusive thoughts and he just told me to do some breathing exercises, but they never seem to help me.

Gremlinertia

mg1982 wrote: »

Seen the psychiatrist yesterday, it was a different one again which is very frustrating. Told him about the paranoia anxiety and intrusive thoughts and he just told me to do some breathing exercises, but they never seem to help me.

The exact same happened me, only saw same doc once (if ya get me) every other time it was a different doc on their psych rotation, so felt like it wasn't worth going, eventually though i got there. Hoping the same for you MG

Roquentin

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The exact same happened me, only saw same doc once (if ya get me) every other time it was a different doc on their psych rotation, so felt like it wasn't worth going, eventually though i got there. Hoping the same for you MG

this is what frustrates me. i would see a new doctor every time. (i must have seen at least twenty doctors by this stage) because they keep rotating.

badly run i must say. the gp is probably better for this reason. at least he or she knows you.

loubian

Every time I take my sertraline, a few hours later my legs gets a mind of its own and bounces without me even noticing. When I do notice, it's hard to stop. It's so annoying.

Throwaway3754

Feel like my family are pretty much embarrassed that I have a mental illness. My dad gets summer jobs in a finance firm for my siblings and his friends kids but won't for me because he doesn't want to explain if I have a panic attack..

MojoRisinnnn

Throwaway3754 wrote: »

Feel like my family are pretty much embarrassed that I have a mental illness. My dad gets summer jobs in a finance firm for my siblings and his friends kids but won't for me because he doesn't want to explain if I have a panic attack..

I'm really sorry to hear that and not that you may have a panic attack but that your dad sounds like a ****ty person.

sheepboy288

mushrooms helpful for depression?

LegacyUser

Anyone ever felt so angry that you feel like your blood is sizzling through your veins?
I really feel like givong someone a piece of my mind but in some situations I know confrontation doesn't get you anywhere

Euphoria Intensifies

Feeling very lonely/socially isolated today

greenfrogs

I hope it passes soon for you Euphoria Intensifies.

sam34

sheepboy288 wrote: »

mushrooms helpful for depression?

MOD: no discussion of illegal activity please.

carzony

A great week for me lads.. I actually attended a full week in college without any difficulties really.. I went in early and left late and for once I actually wanted to stay there and not go home lol..

I have to say the Lexapro is a great drug and has really worked for me so far.. Still waiting for the councellor appointment but i reckon i could be weeks waiting for that.

scrimshanker

carzony wrote: »

A great week for me lads.. I actually attended a full week in college without any difficulties really.. I went in early and left late and for once I actually wanted to stay there and not go home lol..

I have to say the Lexapro is a great drug and has really worked for me so far.. Still waiting for the councellor appointment but i reckon i could be weeks waiting for that.

I've actually been getting worse at attending. Makes me wonder if it's all in my head and I'm not actually suffering from anxiety at all

mg1982

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Feeling very lonely/socially isolated today

Really sorry to hear that. I get plenty of days like that, its a horrible feeling but it does pass.

carzony

scrimshanker wrote: »

I've actually been getting worse at attending. Makes me wonder if it's all in my head and I'm not actually suffering from anxiety at all

I'v had the exact same thoughts in my head the last few weeks mate.

I'v questioned even having anxiety which is why I kinda want an official diagnosis but I know it's not a physical problem anyway and all the signs point to anxiety but I still question it again and again which ironically might be part of the anxiety

I question most things though like

severe Breathing difficulties = unfit
Panicky feeling = just my imagination
Tired and not motivated = just lazy.
Questioning every little thing = just the way I am

Not sure wether it's denial or anxiety but questioning everything drives me crazy sometimes but i just can't help it..

loveisdivine

I'm the same carzony, always questioning everything.

I seem to be constantly assesing my mood and any feelings that arise. If I feel even a bit "meh" I start going through in my head what could be causing it. I'm convinced there must be a reason why I feel "meh" so I have to think about it till I find out why.
I usually just end up making up a reason though and then stressing over it.

I did a great meditation the other day. It guided you to your inner child, now I don't exactly believe in those kinda things, but I pictured myself as a child. Then I thought about everything that child had gone through and the feelings she experienced. I realised that I need to protect her from anymore emotional trauma. Which in turn made me more positive about taking care of myself mentally. Giving myelf a break ya know. When I start to berate myself for things I've done in the past, I picture myself as a child and think "You've been through so much already, enough is enough, you deserve good now".