Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Gongoozler

That sounds to me like he was taking advantage of a young person. Whatever about the legality of it, do you think it had an affect on you?

Gremlinertia

Scrim, people can often bring things back to a particular event. This is your momentous happening, or so it sounds to me.. I would be bringing it up with my therapist if i was you. I read a theory which proposes you can stop emotionally developing because of something happening to you, and i'm currently exploring that for myself.. There's nothing to be guilty or ashamed about, that's what that guy should be feeling. If you can discuss this, you can put it in the past where it belongs.

Gongoozler

I think I'm done.

I'm really not a good person. If I was a good person, people would want to be around me, I wouldn't be difficult to be with, I wouldn't have to worry about people liking me, I wouldn't have to care what people think. I'd feel like a good person. Right? I'm not generous, people don't think I'm great, I don't do good things for people. I expect people to care. But nobody does. I have one friend, though he barely makes contact with me. My boyfriend is done with me, checked out in almost every way. My family don't contact me. I have nothing to offer the world. Why am I still here? Because when you say these things to people, they make out like it would be an awful thing. What's awful about it. No more racing thoughts, no more worries, no more confusion, no more upset, no more making people hate me. No feelings of people not liking me. No feelings of being stupid, incapable, unworthy, ugly. I'm a burden on society and people if anything. Why would anyone care.

I feel stupid and needy for wanting people to care about me. If I could just stop. I'm a burden because I can't get over ****. I've really been doing my best. I have. But it all makes me feel so bad about myself. realising how many things I'm doing wrong. It's not good enough. I'm not good enough. As much as I try. I do try. I don't think many realise how hard a thing it is to do - to change almost your entire personality. And then to hear that you're a great person. It's patronising.

I've tried so hard, and I'm still a **** person. Still have nothing. So what's the point. I suppose the only reason I haven't gone through with anything yet is because I, somehow, have some sort of hope for something better. I feel stupid for not letting it sink in, nothing better is coming.

scrimshanker

Thanks folks..

Gongoozler wrote: »

That sounds to me like he was taking advantage of a young person. Whatever about the legality of it, do you think it had an affect on you?

See this is it, I'm so confused about it. I don't know if it did, or if it didn't but I'm blaming it on current issues I have.. I'm quite confused.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Scrim, people can often bring things back to a particular event. This is your momentous happening, or so it sounds to me.. I would be bringing it up with my therapist if i was you. I read a theory which proposes you can stop emotionally developing because of something happening to you, and i'm currently exploring that for myself.. There's nothing to be guilty or ashamed about, that's what that guy should be feeling. If you can discuss this, you can put it in the past where it belongs.

I don't know how to go about bringing it up... I'm not convinced I'm yet comfortable enough with the therapist to mention it. I also don't know how to bring such a thing up... Such a mess

Roquentin

Gongoozler wrote: »

I think I'm done.

I'm really not a good person. If I was a good person, people would want to be around me, I wouldn't be difficult to be with, I wouldn't have to worry about people liking me, I wouldn't have to care what people think. I'd feel like a good person. Right? I'm not generous, people don't think I'm great, I don't do good things for people. I expect people to care. But nobody does. I have one friend, though he barely makes contact with me. My boyfriend is done with me, checked out in almost every way. My family don't contact me. I have nothing to offer the world. Why am I still here? Because when you say these things to people, they make out like it would be an awful thing. What's awful about it. No more racing thoughts, no more worries, no more confusion, no more upset, no more making people hate me. No feelings of people not liking me. No feelings of being stupid, incapable, unworthy, ugly. I'm a burden on society and people if anything. Why would anyone care.

I feel stupid and needy for wanting people to care about me. If I could just stop. I'm a burden because I can't get over ****. I've really been doing my best. I have. But it all makes me feel so bad about myself. realising how many things I'm doing wrong. It's not good enough. I'm not good enough. As much as I try. I do try. I don't think many realise how hard a thing it is to do - to change almost your entire personality. And then to hear that you're a great person. It's patronising.

I've tried so hard, and I'm still a **** person. Still have nothing. So what's the point. I suppose the only reason I haven't gone through with anything yet is because I, somehow, have some sort of hope for something better. I feel stupid for not letting it sink in, nothing better is coming.

hang in there. maybe go see the doctor

Gremlinertia

Gong, would you think you maybe could go see an out of hours doc or go to nearest hospital?. Sounds like you've hit a very low point. Worried about you. Please take care of yourself.. What you are thinking now is transient, it will pass.. I know perhaps you won't believe me but it's true.. In all my darkest times I just cling on by my fingertips and try to wait it out.

Gongoozler

Sorry

Gremlinertia

Gongoozler wrote: »

Sorry

No need to be sorry,we're all here for each other in this thread.. Letting it all out can be relief..

Gongoozler

I mean I know there's nothing to say

Gremlinertia

Just remember there's a bunch of us here for you.

scrimshanker

So sorry to hear you're feeling so awful, Gong.

Try to remember that a bad person actually wouldn't care if they're a good or a bad person because they don't care enough about other people for that to worry them. The fact that you even contemplate it shows that you are a good person. Finding life and socializing difficult doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you're struggling.

You're not stupid and needy for wanting someone to care about you, that's a very normal, human desire (and I guess a normal human need!).

Please go see your Doctor (or go to A&E or somewhere). It sounds like you're in a very tough place and could do with some support from someone in real life.

Please hang on in there

greenfrogs

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Gong, would you think you maybe could go see an out of hours doc or go to nearest hospital?. Sounds like you've hit a very low point. Worried about you. Please take care of yourself.. What you are thinking now is transient, it will pass.. I know perhaps you won't believe me but it's true.. In all my darkest times I just cling on by my fingertips and try to wait it out.

When you are feeling down this statement is so true. Everything does pass and you will feel better. However when you in that down mood it can seem like the end of the world. I suppose it is our mind playing tricks on us. Making us think we can't get through this and this is the end for me.

But where there is hope there is life. I think all of us here are relatively young, we have so much of the rest of our lives ahead of us. We have time to achieve what we want in life. Yesterday it occurred to me how small my world is. I was upset about a friend ending a friendship (with good reason on his part I do admit). But then I thought about how I am getting hung up on what the small amount of people I have known throughout my life think of me. I suppose now I feel quite isolated from people my age due to social anxiety and few friends. However I feel quite positive about my future now after a tough few weeks. I always found it difficult to make friends. To think I can overcome this through CBT and make friends would genuinely change my life.

Hugo Stiglitz

Weird mood last night and today. Hard to put my finger on it. Hope ye're all doing ok there.

scrimshanker

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Weird mood last night and today. Hard to put my finger on it. Hope ye're all doing ok there.

Hope it passes for you soon, Hugo. I sometimes find weird moods harder to deal with than being really down or really anxious.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Hope it passes for you soon, Hugo. I sometimes find weird moods harder to deal with than being really down or really anxious.

Thanks Scrim.

I hope things are on the up-and-up there for you.

scrimshanker

Things a bit up on where they were, working very hard to keep that going. Thanks

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Things a bit up on where they were, working very hard to keep that going. Thanks

Am glad to hear that Scrim!

Gremlinertia

Hi, just dropping in to say hi to all. Hope you're having a better time of it now as some of you were not too well.. Any of you want to talk I'm here or via pm if you'd prefer.. Be proud of your strength..

Gongoozler

Recovery is always very slow.

Gremlinertia

Gongoozler wrote: »

Recovery is always very slow.

Agreed, it does take time to get like this so I don't think I expected different but it's very frustrating at times.

heyday30

feeling terrible down today.

Tell me how

heyday30 wrote: »

feeling terrible down today.

Sorry to hear that heyday30.

Hope you get a good nights sleep and tomorrow is better.

Gremlinertia

heyday30 wrote: »

feeling terrible down today.

It seems that some people find Sunday in particular to be a hard day since it's kind of a nothing day. I hope it passes quickly for you Heyday..

carzony

i'm off till Wednesday so i'm care free thought i'd of got a letter from the councellor by now though

Kayleigh..

Done

alaskayoung

Gongoozler wrote: »

Recovery is always very slow.

It takes ten times longer to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart.
Small steps..

mg1982

Yesterday was some day. All the self loathing i have really came to the surface, ended up me slapping myself across the face and shouting the most obscene hurtful things at myself. This sh1t really goes deep.

MojoRisinnnn

mg1982 wrote: »

Yesterday was some day. All the self loathing i have really came to the surface, ended up me slapping myself across the face and shouting the most obscene hurtful things at myself. This sh1t really goes deep.

Really sorry to hear that MG, I hope today goes a bit better for you

mg1982

MojoRisinnnn wrote: »

Really sorry to hear that MG, I hope today goes a bit better for you

Thanks mate and i hope the same for you.

mg1982

Kayleigh.. wrote: »

Done

Hi kayleigh. Whats going on?