Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Euphoria Intensifies

scrimshanker wrote: »

Feeling different, EI but not sure how. Doesn't make sense really. even with the meds increase I'm not sleeping anymore. not really seeing a way out of the mess I've gotten into. All looking a bit bleak now

Oh no would you go back to the doctor and see if they can help any more? Are you seeing the local mental health team or your GP? It might be a good idea to ask your GP to refer you to them. It can take a few weeks for the referral to go through, but there are loads of extra supports there that they can give you. You can get through this, you can xx

greenfrogs

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to see how they end it.

Oh god I know, lost a really close friend because of arguments like that don't want to lose any more, and it easily could have happened today if my housemate was at home.

Same here. It's very upsetting when it happens. It feels like I lose control and start arguments over something that is so silly. But in that moment it is so important to me. It is so frustrating. In my situation I can see why the person decided not be friends with me. But that doesn't stop it from hurting. It's kinda unfair as well because it is the illness that causes me to do it, it is not me. However I am hopeful that I will overcome this and you will too.

I hope you feel better soon Shimshanker. I agree with what EI is saying, the mental services have more supports in place that will help you.

scrimshanker

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Oh no would you go back to the doctor and see if they can help any more? Are you seeing the local mental health team or your GP? It might be a good idea to ask your GP to refer you to them. It can take a few weeks for the referral to go through, but there are loads of extra supports there that they can give you. You can get through this, you can xx

greenfrogs wrote: »

I hope you feel better soon Shimshanker. I agree with what EI is saying, the mental services have more supports in place that will help you.

Thanks guys, not with the mental health team, just seeing my GP and college counsellor. Will go back to GP in a couple of weeks, he said give the new dose a few weeks and then call him if everything's better on them or go back to him if we need to reassess. Not sure if I need or qualify for the mental health services, it's not like there's anything really wrong with me. Bog standard anxiety, maybe a little depression thrown in. It's just my lack of ability to help myself that's causing problems. Not entirely sure what they can do for me that isn't already being done, the problem is me, I'm not doing anything, just waiting on someone to fix me

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Thanks guys, not with the mental health team, just seeing my GP and college counsellor. Will go back to GP in a couple of weeks, he said give the new dose a few weeks and then call him if everything's better on them or go back to him if we need to reassess. Not sure if I need or qualify for the mental health services, it's not like there's anything really wrong with me. Bog standard anxiety, maybe a little depression thrown in. It's just my lack of ability to help myself that's causing problems. Not entirely sure what they can do for me that isn't already being done, the problem is me, I'm not doing anything, just waiting on someone to fix me

It's not your lack of ability to help yourself that's causing these issues. Its the illness. You are making the effect to get better through meds and counselling. Unfortunately it may take time to see the benefits of this treatment.

Anxiety and depression can overtake your life. Don't underestimate how these can effect your life. It is not you who is the problem. You shouldn't have to live with these in your life. You will overcome this.

Kimbot

greenfrogs wrote: »

It's not your lack of ability to help yourself that's causing these issues. Its the illness. You are making the effect to get better through meds and counselling. Unfortunately it may take time to see the benefits of thisereatment.

Anxiety and depression can overtake your life. Don't underestimate how these can effect your life. It is not you who is the problem. You shouldn't have to live with these in your life. You will overcome this.

Have to agree with GF here.

The mental health team in your local hospital will help you no matter what, I was with my GP for nearly 6 months, back to him every week just getting worse and no matter what he just upped my dosages. Went to the hospital after a breakdown and they were brilliant, changed my meds and I am far happier dealing with them than my GP over all this now.

scrimshanker

I guess I just don't think I'm bad enough to go there. I'm sure they're very good, but like, I've no intention of actually acting on my desire to no longer be alive. Then there's the cost. Just can't afford it.

How are you guys doing today?

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

I guess I just don't think I'm bad enough to go there. I'm sure they're very good, but like, I've no intention of actually acting on my desire to no longer be alive. Then there's the cost. Just can't afford it.

How are you guys doing today?

I didn't have any intention of harming myself when I was referred to the mental health services either. And it's free to everyone as far as I know. Maybe discuss it with your doctor next time you see him. I think your doctor has to refer you.

I'm doing alright. Feeling kinda sick though. Stupid IBS.

Kimbot

scrimshanker wrote: »

I guess I just don't think I'm bad enough to go there. I'm sure they're very good, but like, I've no intention of actually acting on my desire to no longer be alive. Then there's the cost. Just can't afford it.

How are you guys doing today?

Well I haven't been billed for anything from them, my gp referred me. Just be careful with those thoughts as I would never harm myself yet I took an OD and can't remember a thing of it. If you feel like the gp isn't helping then I urge you to go see them as they see this on a daily basis and have no problems changing you to a medication better suited to you.

Call Me Jimmy

I truly understand know how life can spiral out of control for someone. I am completely caught in a mental trap that gets worse day by day. No way to get out of it, because ye may think 'you must go to a doctor', but your mind says 'no. i will not do that, i know I won't ever get better. my brain is incompatible with life.' And so I won't go to the doctor, and I won't do a thing but continue to degrade. There is no desire from me to do anything or to try get better. So the spiral continues, and won't stop.

I'm completely emotionless about it now by the way, which probably what is perpetuating it. I live through concepts, not any relationship with reality.

mg1982

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I truly understand know how life can spiral out of control for someone. I am completely caught in a mental trap that gets worse day by day. No way to get out of it, because ye may think 'you must go to a doctor', but your mind says 'no. i will not do that, i know I won't ever get better. my brain is incompatible with life.' And so I won't go to the doctor, and I won't do a thing but continue to degrade. There is no desire from me to do anything or to try get better. So the spiral continues, and won't stop.

I'm completely emotionless about it now by the way, which probably what is perpetuating it. I live through concepts, not any relationship with reality.

Im so sorry to hear that jimmy. If its any consolation my grip on reality is pretty loose most of the time. Did you get to see your gp yet. Even admitting yourself to a hospital could be something to consider. Some of the other posters on here will tell you how much that helped them. Look after yourself man, you deserve better than this.

Hugo Stiglitz

Sorry to hear that some of you are having a tough time at the moment.

Kimbot

Its a new day folks, hope you all are feeling good today

mg1982

jonny24ie wrote: »

Its a new day folks, hope you all are feeling good today

That kind of weather will do the heart good. Hope your enjoying it too.

Kimbot

mg1982 wrote: »

That kind of weather will do the heart good. Hope your enjoying it too.

Im in great form the last few weeks, I finally can see light at the end of the tunnel and this weather just makes it better.

mg1982

jonny24ie wrote: »

Im in great form the last few weeks, I finally can see light at the end of the tunnel and this weather just makes it better.

Thats great to hear jonny24. Whats making the difference for you? Ya the weather is a real bonus.

Kimbot

mg1982 wrote: »

Thats great to hear jonny24. Whats making the difference for you? Ya the weather is a real bonus.

At first it was the change in medication, my entire family knowing whats been going on and been supportive of me. A small change in Diet and now im getting out exercising more. Leaving things that I have no control over had a huge part to play so getting all that off my shoulders and just kind of going with the flow. Its all contributing

Gongoozler

For about 2 weeks now, I've been feeling down. I don't mean in the way that I would usually be - sad, teary, everything is awful and I can't handle things - but just down. My mood is literally depressed. I don't enjoy anything that I usually do. my appetite is barely existent except for like 1 meal a day. But besides that, I've started to feel very detached from everything. I just don't care about anything. That is, except at times, intermittently. It switches. Off and on. This evening has been very off and on. Literally from one minute to the next. One, I'm thinking I really cannot continue, I have no energy left, it's not even a possibility. I don't want to. I'm already done. And the next, I'm thinking about painting my nails. I had some really aggressive thoughts earlier, like I'm going to explode at someone. I have no patience for people. I never had much at all, but this is different. I couldn't give a **** about them. It was scary. And now I don't know what to think. It doesn't feel like a depression as I know it. It feels like I have no control over my thoughts. At least, normally I am the one thinking the bad things, but now it's like something or someone else has taken over.

I don't want to go to my doctor, because I absolutely refuse to go back on anti-depressants. But that's the first thing she'll suggest. So, I'll sit here and do nothing.

Euphoria Intensifies

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a **** time gongoozler Do you see a therapist or anything? I know what you mean about feeling like your thoughts are a bit out of control/switching every few seconds - I get like that a lot. Is there any thing you like to do to distract yourself? You mentioned painting your nails - that's what I tend to do for distraction. Have two hands full of bright pink nails at the minute

greenfrogs

Gongoozler wrote: »

For about 2 weeks now, I've been feeling down. I don't mean in the way that I would usually be - sad, teary, everything is awful and I can't handle things - but just down. My mood is literally depressed. I don't enjoy anything that I usually do. my appetite is barely existent except for like 1 meal a day. But besides that, I've started to feel very detached from everything. I just don't care about anything. That is, except at times, intermittently. It switches. Off and on. This evening has been very off and on. Literally from one minute to the next. One, I'm thinking I really cannot continue, I have no energy left, it's not even a possibility. I don't want to. I'm already done. And the next, I'm thinking about painting my nails. I had some really aggressive thoughts earlier, like I'm going to explode at someone. I have no patience for people. I never had much at all, but this is different. I couldn't give a **** about them. It was scary. And now I don't know what to think. It doesn't feel like a depression as I know it. It feels like I have no control over my thoughts. At least, normally I am the one thinking the bad things, but now it's like something or someone else has taken over.

I don't want to go to my doctor, because I absolutely refuse to go back on anti-depressants. But that's the first thing she'll suggest. So, I'll sit here and do nothing.

That actually sounds exhausting. To be so up and down so often will drain your energy. I kinda feel a little bit how you feel about the exploding on someone. My mom has me driven demented today. She didn't necessarily do anything. Just everything she is doing irritates me so much. I have zero patience as well. I just try to block out things that annoy me. I guess I just feel fed up. But you sound like your on a roller coaster and that you are definitely not having fun. I feel so bad for you. Treat yourself. Paint your nails, have some chocolate. Also without wanting to sound rude is this in anyway related to totm. I don't personally have any major affects from that but I know some women do.

Do you think that your doctor will provide any alternatives to meds. I only ask because she might suggest another treatment route for you to take once she knows you don't want to start medication.

Roquentin

i would suggest taking the meds. dangerous yes because you become so used to them, but i couldnt get out of bed without them

mg1982

Gongoozler wrote: »

For about 2 weeks now, I've been feeling down. I don't mean in the way that I would usually be - sad, teary, everything is awful and I can't handle things - but just down. My mood is literally depressed. I don't enjoy anything that I usually do. my appetite is barely existent except for like 1 meal a day. But besides that, I've started to feel very detached from everything. I just don't care about anything. That is, except at times, intermittently. It switches. Off and on. This evening has been very off and on. Literally from one minute to the next. One, I'm thinking I really cannot continue, I have no energy left, it's not even a possibility. I don't want to. I'm already done. And the next, I'm thinking about painting my nails. I had some really aggressive thoughts earlier, like I'm going to explode at someone. I have no patience for people. I never had much at all, but this is different. I couldn't give a **** about them. It was scary. And now I don't know what to think. It doesn't feel like a depression as I know it. It feels like I have no control over my thoughts. At least, normally I am the one thinking the bad things, but now it's like something or someone else has taken over.

I don't want to go to my doctor, because I absolutely refuse to go back on anti-depressants. But that's the first thing she'll suggest. So, I'll sit here and do nothing.

Even try some meditation for ten mins maybe. There are some good guided ones on youtube. I find them good for getting to grips with my thoughts.

Macavity.

Anyone else have a problem with back tension and aches? It is an annoying symptom I experience and it makes it very difficult for me to sleep and enjoy things. I have found benzos are literally the only thing that relieve this, but I don't like using them because of their horrendous risk of addiction and dependency.

greenfrogs

Macavity. wrote: »

Anyone else have a problem with back tension and aches? It is an annoying symptom I experience and it makes it very difficult for me to sleep and enjoy things. I have found benzos are literally the only thing that relieve this, but I don't like using them because of their horrendous risk of addiction and dependency.

I sometimes get that. My shoulders can get really tense. I have never taken anything for it so i'd say it's not as bad as yours. Anyway I find a hot water bottle works for me if that's any use. I find heat therapy really good for pain in general.

Literally counting down the days until I see my therapist. How will I have cope when it stops
Also people can be so irritating. Sometimes I don't know if I am being oversensitive or if someone is intentionally being mean to me.

stinkle

greenfrogs wrote: »

I sometimes get that. My shoulders can get really tense. I have never taken anything for it so i'd say it's not as bad as yours. Anyway I find a hot water bottle works for me if that's any use. I find heat therapy really good for pain in general.

Literally counting down the days until I see my therapist. How will I have cope when it stops
Also people can be so irritating. Sometimes I don't know if I am being oversensitive or if someone is intentionally being mean to me.

It ok to be sensitive, if that's who you are. I recently decided to embrace that part of me, but the world tends to undervalue the good qualities associated with us.

I'm sure all your situations have context, but often people can be intentionally mean to the sensitive, if you get me. Due to stuff like being less assertive/likely to answer back, being conscientious, etc. I often say stuff like "do I jsut have a sign on my head that says Treat me like Dirt?", and upon thinking about it I thought that maybe body language and the like could well be that sign. Stuff like being skipped in queues, mad people zoning in on you on public transport. Im not trying to say that it's anyone's own fault if others are being arses, but if you tend to put others first and yourself last it can get picked up on and taken advantage of and maybe perpetuates the cycle a bit.

As an example, I was waiting in a cafe for someone yest and it was busy. There was a spare seat beside me but Im not the type to hog seats - mainly cos due to the "sign"on my head Id get pulled up on it whereas someone else maybe would not! :pac: I realised I was kinda hunched into myself, trying to be inconspicuous...figured it was to seem "invisible" so as others woudnt notice me and bother me for the seat - but actually at times that seems to have the opposite effect - makes me look like a soft target or something. I also get stiff neck and shoulders and reckon it could well be due to this hunching thing I do.

The person I was meeting would never give a situation like that a second thought - they just barrell on in and if a seat is free theyll go straight for it. They arent a total extroverted loudmouth either, just not socially anxious I suppose. Now I have to say that at times this person can be completly mannerless - never think to hold a door for someone, or help someone across the road or even wait for people to get off a bus/dart before barging on. Think I prefer being the one that notices others around me despite the negativity of being sensitive/empathetic/anxious.

greenfrogs

stinkle wrote: »

It ok to be sensitive, if that's who you are. I recently decided to embrace that part of me, but the world tends to undervalue the good qualities associated with us.

I'm sure all your situations have context, but often people can be intentionally mean to the sensitive, if you get me. Due to stuff like being less assertive/likely to answer back, being conscientious, etc. I often say stuff like "do I jsut have a sign on my head that says Treat me like Dirt?", and upon thinking about it I thought that maybe body language and the like could well be that sign. Stuff like being skipped in queues, mad people zoning in on you on public transport. Im not trying to say that it's anyone's own fault if others are being arses, but if you tend to put others first and yourself last it can get picked up on and taken advantage of and maybe perpetuates the cycle a bit.

As an example, I was waiting in a cafe for someone yest and it was busy. There was a spare seat beside me but Im not the type to hog seats - mainly cos due to the "sign"on my head Id get pulled up on it whereas someone else maybe would not! :pac: I realised I was kinda hunched into myself, trying to be inconspicuous...figured it was to seem "invisible" so as others woudnt notice me and bother me for the seat - but actually at times that seems to have the opposite effect - makes me look like a soft target or something. I also get stiff neck and shoulders and reckon it could well be due to this hunching thing I do.

The person I was meeting would never give a situation like that a second thought - they just barrell on in and if a seat is free theyll go straight for it. They arent a total extroverted loudmouth either, just not socially anxious I suppose. Now I have to say that at times this person can be completly mannerless - never think to hold a door for someone, or help someone across the road or even wait for people to get off a bus/dart before barging on. Think I prefer being the one that notices others around me despite the negativity of being sensitive/empathetic/anxious.

I always hunch as well so I appear invisible as well. I would get nervous in the situation you describe. I would think people would be commenting that I'm hogging the seats and making negative comments.

scrimshanker

Well and truly back to not sleeping through the night. Never thought I'd hate the sounds of birdsong so much

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Well and truly back to not sleeping through the night. Never thought I'd hate the sounds of birdsong so much

Sorry to hear that Scrim.

mg1982

scrimshanker wrote: »

Well and truly back to not sleeping through the night. Never thought I'd hate the sounds of birdsong so much

Sorry to hear that. Any ideas on whats bringing this on or have you just been feeling more anxious lately.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Well and truly back to not sleeping through the night. Never thought I'd hate the sounds of birdsong so much

Yah I get you on the birdsong. I also hate the sounds of dogs barking. I struggle to fall asleep until around 3am these days. Are you having trouble falling asleep or waking repeatedly through the night?

Hugo Stiglitz

Anyone else get hard hitting realisations at times like "Jesus, this is my life!"?