Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

mg1982

scrimshanker wrote: »

Really.. Really not

I don't know what I'm not

Want death to take me

Can't even begin to describe it

Whats going on scrim, Anything you want to talk about?

Gremlinertia

Heyo Scrim, chat or pm if you want..

scrimshanker

Exams start Monday, can't study. Want to die. Think my mum thinks I'm making it all up. She even said she thinks it's just stress and there's nothing wrong. This was when I was trying to tell her a couple of days ago that I didn't feel like the treatment has been working very well. I know she's just worried about my exams. I get that

mg1982

scrimshanker wrote: »

Exams start Monday, can't study. Want to die. Think my mum thinks I'm making it all up. She even said she thinks it's just stress and there's nothing wrong. This was when I was trying to tell her a couple of days ago that I didn't feel like the treatment has been working very well. I know she's just worried about my exams. I get that

What your mum might not understand is stress can be a major trigger for mental disorders. Im sure she means well and wants the best for you but she may not understand this. Thats being my experience with my mother and siblings.

scrimshanker

Yeah she just doesn't get it. If I could be studying I would be. My history of exams is of working really hard and doing really well but the first sign I'm not coping this time and it'sassumed I'm lazy or I don't know what, but there seems to be no consideration that maybe I'd like tobe studying hard and doing well.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Yeah she just doesn't get it. If I could be studying I would be. My history of exams is of working really hard and doing really well but the first sign I'm not coping this time and it'sassumed I'm lazy or I don't know what, but there seems to be no consideration that maybe I'd like tobe studying hard and doing well.

Well if you have previous exams under you belt which I assume you were also under similar stress for then maybe you should reiterate this to your family. Going from being a hard and diligent student to feeling completely stressed and unable to study is not normal.

My Mom thought the exact same when my first mental health problems started. Unfortunately they have stayed with me to this day and were nothing to do with exams. It was just a co-incidence that the exams were on at the same time. It is so hard when it seems our loved ones can't understand what we are going through. Honestly I don't think it is fair that you should be doing exams in these circumstances.

mg1982

I agree with GF. Doing exams is tough for anyone at any time but given what your going through right now scrim it must be terrible. Maybe tell someone in the college about it.

Euphoria Intensifies

Are you linked in with the disability office at your college scrim? They can be a great help when it comes to helping with stuff like this. I'm sure you'll do fine in your exams, but if you don't there is always a chance to resit the exams. Exams are so stressful, so that on top of dealing with mental health issues is really difficult. You come across as a really strong person on here, so I know you can get through these next few weeks. You can do it! We're all rooting for you x

heyday30

.

greenfrogs

That's really beautiful Heyday. It describes what I what from life perfectly. I think this place exists for us all.

heyday30

greenfrogs wrote: »

That's really beautiful Heyday. It describes what I what from life perfectly. I think this place exists for us all.

I like it a lot. All we want is to feel peaceful and secure and safe. We will get to that place. Just have to keep up hope.

Ps can't embed pics sorry.

greenfrogs

I have set it as my desktop. It reminds me that what I want from life is to be happy, loved and understood. Those aren't impossible things. To me I feel it will happen. I have felt my general attitude and mood change a lot this past week. In fact I have been quite good lately. I was nervous about a setback later this month but at the moment I feel I can get through it. I still have a long way to go but I am looking forward to the future for once.

heyday30

greenfrogs wrote: »

I have set it as my desktop. It reminds me that what I want from life is to be happy, loved and understood. Those aren't impossible things. To me I feel it will happen. I have felt my general attitude and mood change a lot this past week. In fact I have been quite good lately. I was nervous about a setback later this month but at the moment I feel I can get through it. I still have a long way to go but I am looking forward to the future for once.

You seen to have a fighting attitude. Very happy for you.

Gremlinertia

Argh.. My mind, if I ever learn how to stop it spinning around so much to give me a few minutes peace.

mg1982

i like this one.

http://www.imagesbuddy.com/images/158/the-biggest-challenge-in-life-is-to-be-yourself-in-a-world-that-is-trying-to-make-you-like-everyone-else-challenge-quote.png

Gremlinertia

How did i make a friend mad by asking advice.. Skills I don't want to have.. I don't care about appearing stupid or scared but I do worry I'll run out of chances.

mg1982

Gremlinertia wrote: »

How did i make a friend mad by asking advice.. Skills I don't want to have.. I don't care about appearing stupid or scared but I do worry I'll run out of chances.

Sometimes we cant control how other people will react to us grem unfortunatley. She may be having a bad day herself you never know.

Gremlinertia

I know there's parameters and feelings on the day to take into account, it started out as normal chatter and took a swing. Because of my illness I immediately take that as my fault and berate myself for it.. Still trying to implement skills from dbt course but it's early days there.

mg1982

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I know there's parameters and feelings on the day to take into account, it started out as normal chatter and took a swing. Because of my illness I immediately take that as my fault and berate myself for it.. Still trying to implement skills from dbt course but it's early days there.

Did she get upset with you when you asked her advice. It sounds like you did nothing wrong grem and maybe she was stressed out and acted out. You have nothing to beat yourself up over.

GeneralC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmWfXKJbn9g

Roquentin

mg1982 wrote: »

Sometimes we cant control how other people will react to us grem unfortunatley. She may be having a bad day herself you never know.

one cannot control how other people will react at all. people are irrational and unpredictable and yet we are highly dependent on them for our well being.

Roquentin

greenfrogs wrote: »

I have set it as my desktop. It reminds me that what I want from life is to be happy, loved and understood. Those aren't impossible things. To me I feel it will happen. I have felt my general attitude and mood change a lot this past week. In fact I have been quite good lately. I was nervous about a setback later this month but at the moment I feel I can get through it. I still have a long way to go but I am looking forward to the future for once.

Hugo Stiglitz

Had a bad few days there. Got really stressed out in work and started to really panic.

I hate being like this so much.

scrimshanker

Sorry to hear that Hugo. It does really suck.

Did anyone here do the Darkness into Light walk? It was kinda heartening to see so many people turn out, at least in theory they're people who are trying to destigmatize mental illness or are trying to understand and ensure services are there.

There was a before and after survey, though. Filling it out just made me feel like sh!t because I realized how incredibly bad my answers were (in terms of my own MH).

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Sorry to hear that Hugo. It does really suck.

Did anyone here do the Darkness into Light walk? It was kinda heartening to see so many people turn out, at least in theory they're people who are trying to destigmatize mental illness or are trying to understand and ensure services are there.

There was a before and after survey, though. Filling it out just made me feel like sh!t because I realized how incredibly bad my answers were (in terms of my own MH).

The panic sets off my mind racing to extreme thoughts like will I ever be able to handle the stress of work - should I quit, how will I survive through life, will I ever find happiness, deal with deaths of parents, growing old and of course the usual suicide ideation.

I'm seeing my psychiatrist this upcoming week so will definitely let them know of this recent bout of madness. Hopefully they'll be able to suggest something to quell this nonsense.


I must look into even just walking the Darkness Into Light next time it's on. It's great to see such a concerted effort being made to highlight mental health issues. Did you run it Scrim?

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Had a bad few days there. Got really stressed out in work and started to really panic.

I hate being like this so much.

Sorry to hear that Hugo. Any ideas on what brought it on or was it building for a while.

scrimshanker

I hope the meeting with the pdoc goes well for you Hugo. There's a lot of stuff out there that's open to them to suggest, so hopefully they'll be able to come up with something that will help you.

I didn't run it, walked it. Walked it last year as well, think I might run it next year though (if I'm still around).

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Sorry to hear that Hugo. Any ideas on what brought it on or was it building for a while.

It was building up for a while. It's a great place to work with nice people there but it's a rather complicated and stressful environment at the same time.

scrimshanker wrote: »

I hope the meeting with the pdoc goes well for you Hugo. There's a lot of stuff out there that's open to them to suggest, so hopefully they'll be able to come up with something that will help you.

I didn't run it, walked it. Walked it last year as well, think I might run it next year though (if I'm still around).

You will be still around Scrim. We can't let ourselves succumb to the darker thoughts.


I hope ye all all keeping well there this weekend my friends

spudger1

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Had a bad few days there. Got really stressed out in work and started to really panic.

I hate being like this so much.

Hope the weekend has given you a bit of breating space Hugo.

Hugo Stiglitz

spudger1 wrote: »

Hope the weekend has given you a bit of breating space Hugo.

Yeah hopefully.

How are things there Spudger?