Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

My PhD supervisor treated me like ****, like absolute crap. Bullied me, ridiculed me, treated me like a pile of SH!TE. He stole my PhD from me, in effect. He took 3 years of my life away and has left a lot of psychological damage. I really do feel where you're coming from. I hope he rots in hell. I hope his house goes on fire and he loses everything (other than lives!!!) I wish no end of badness on him, because he's one of life's bad people and what he's done to me he did to dozens of students before me and continues to do to students. There are very few people who I would categorize as bad, but he is one of them.

You're right to be annoyed to have been treated so badly. It shows you have some self-esteem left after it! You shouldn't have been treated so badly. I wouldn't put any weight on what he said about you staying in the same area, he obviously just got his kicks from bullying people and you were the target of the day.

To be honest he pales in comparison to your supervisor. I think he is nasty but to be honest everyone else got on well with him so I think the problem was me. I suppose I just feel that how I was let go was quite nasty. In fact one of my co workers was his pet. And she was a bully. She made me feel really isolated and told people outside of work that I was fired. She made an extremely tough situation a lot worse. They just have such high opinions of themselves. What did he expect me to say when he told me I shouldn't work in that area. Oh your so right, your so smart. Feck them.

I had a previous supervisor and she was exactly like your PhD supervisor. I think she got off on making people cry. She was bad to the bone. And she was a health care professional. Doesn't say a lot about her knowledge as I was going through hell in that place and she made it worse. In fact I was doing a health care degree and not one person helped me in anyway.

heyday30

Managers can be pricks. Some have issues with so called power and egos.
Which really when you think about it is counter productive. If someone treats you with respect you would want to work for them more than if you felt bullied or intimidated.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

To be honest he pales in comparison to your supervisor. I think he is nasty but to be honest everyone else got on well with him so I think the problem was me. I suppose I just feel that how I was let go was quite nasty. In fact one of my co workers was his pet. And she was a bully. She made me feel really isolated and told people outside of work that I was fired. She made an extremely tough situation a lot worse. They just have such high opinions of themselves. What did he expect me to say when he told me I shouldn't work in that area. Oh your so right, your so smart. Feck them.

I had a previous supervisor and she was exactly like your PhD supervisor. I think she got off on making people cry. She was bad to the bone. And she was a health care professional. Doesn't say a lot about her knowledge as I was going through hell in that place and she made it worse. In fact I was doing a health care degree and not one person helped me in anyway.

Omg I had the exact same thing with another student. She was his pet and made it out that I was the one with the problem. The thing is, decent people don't make work issues feel personal. They raise any issues in a constructive way. It wasn't you. The issue is how he handled his working relationship with you. He was the one to act unprofessionally and rudely. Just because you got the brunt of his nastiness doesn't actually mean it had anything to do with you specifically, you were his victim of the moment. He's probably moved on to a new victim. I know my supervisor has!

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Omg I had the exact same thing with another student. She was his pet and made it out that I was the one with the problem. The thing is, decent people don't make work issues feel personal. They raise any issues in a constructive way. It wasn't you. The issue is how he handled his working relationship with you. He was the one to act unprofessionally and rudely. Just because you got the brunt of his nastiness doesn't actually mean it had anything to do with you specifically, you were his victim of the moment. He's probably moved on to a new victim. I know my supervisor has!

Thanks for your kind words. It really makes a difference. Sometimes these thoughts come into my head and it's hard to ignore them. I think that workplace just did not suit for so many reasons. Some of it was quite personal. That is obviously the work environment they have chosen to create. I know there was a time when I was good at doing different things. I have failed at so many things in recent times that I don't remember the person I was before.

Roquentin

a lot of people who are bosses are narcissistic in personality which basically means they are cruel and use people as objects to further their own advancement

Hugo Stiglitz

So sorry to hear that this hasn't been resolved for you GC. No doubt the added stress of all this is something that you could really do without.

Hugo Stiglitz

I've noticed academia seems to attract a lot of egotistical and arrogant pricks. It would actually seriously put me off perusing any kind of post grad.

Roquentin

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I've noticed academia seems to attract a lot of egotistical and arrogant pricks. It would actually seriously put me off perusing any kind of post grad.

they have to be in a sense. that level of stress needs someone with an ego the size of the moon. your dealing with Phd students, students and other lecturers.
They then have to bring in funding and produce papers etc.

they get paid handsomely of course but a highly stressful job. Personally i wouldnt survive a week in it.

Hugo Stiglitz

Roquentin wrote: »

they have to be in a sense. that level of stress needs someone with an ego the size of the moon. your dealing with Phd students, students and other lecturers.
They then have to bring in funding and produce papers etc.

they get paid handsomely of course but a highly stressful job. Personally i wouldnt survive a week in it.

They're welcome to it.

Aeternum

feeling very lost and down lately, haven't been this bad in months. Pretty fed up

Hugo Stiglitz

Aeternum wrote: »

feeling very lost and down lately, haven't been this bad in months. Pretty fed up

Sorry to hear that A. What's on your mind?

Aeternum

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear that A. What's on your mind?

Life in general to be honest. Hard to make sense of my thoughts a lot of the time - just feel kind of hopeless about the future, like I'm wandering down a path with no end to it just years and years of unhappiness.

I've deleted my FB page because I couldn't cope with seeing all the things everyone is doing with their lives - travelling, finishing college, actually living their life instead of just trying to survive each day.

Hugo Stiglitz

Aeternum wrote: »

Life in general to be honest. Hard to make sense of my thoughts a lot of the time - just feel kind of hopeless about the future, like I'm wandering down a path with no end to it just years and years of unhappiness.

I've deleted my FB page because I couldn't cope with seeing all the things everyone is doing with their lives - travelling, finishing college, actually living their life instead of just trying to survive each day.

We can all relate to that A.

The Facebook thing is a bother here too. It can be great fun but can also be a doorway to sadness and anguish sometimes.

mg1982

Aeternum wrote: »

Life in general to be honest. Hard to make sense of my thoughts a lot of the time - just feel kind of hopeless about the future, like I'm wandering down a path with no end to it just years and years of unhappiness.

I've deleted my FB page because I couldn't cope with seeing all the things everyone is doing with their lives - travelling, finishing college, actually living their life instead of just trying to survive each day.

Might be no harm to give facebook a miss for a while, it also gives a very unrealistic image of peoples lives so it looks like people are having fun all the time. But we all know life isnt like that.

Call Me Jimmy

Hopefully I can strip it all down and start again. That's my hope from being down and out so long. I'll realise I was just setting stupid standards and find comfort in more things in the future. Just gotta get out of my own way. Some day.

heyday30

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Hopefully I can strip it all down and start again. That's my hope from being down and out so long. I'll realise I was just setting stupid standards and find comfort in more things in the future. Just gotta get out of my own way. Some day.

Hi Jimmy. I hope it happens for you soon friend

greenfrogs

I got accepted to do a dbt skills programme today. The therapist told me I seem really motivated. Feeling kinda positive.

Fb can be a dose. If I compare the amount of friends I have to other people then I feel like a loser. However I haven't remained in contact with anybody from my past so it's kinda understandable.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

I got accepted to do a dbt skills programme today. The therapist told me I seem really motivated. Feeling kinda positive.

Fb can be a dose. If I compare the amount of friends I have to other people then I feel like a loser. However I haven't remained in contact with anybody from my past so it's kinda understandable.

Thats good news GF. Its something im kinda hoping to do myself at some stage. Was it through a HSE therapist you got it?

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Thats good news GF. Its something im kinda hoping to do myself at some stage. Was it through a HSE therapist you got it?

I was referred by my psychiatrist. It's all through the HSE.

heyday30

greenfrogs wrote: »

I got accepted to do a dbt skills programme today. The therapist told me I seem really motivated. Feeling kinda positive.

Fb can be a dose. If I compare the amount of friends I have to other people then I feel like a loser. However I haven't remained in contact with anybody from my past so it's kinda understandable.

Well done gf. Your therapist obviously sees the fight in you.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

I was referred by my psychiatrist. It's all through the HSE.

Thats good to hear. Might mention it to my psychiatrist next time. Not that he listens to me. :rolleyes:

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Thats good to hear. Might mention it to my psychiatrist next time. Not that he listens to me. :rolleyes:

Psychiatrists can be hit and miss. I had an appointment today with a different psychiatrist and she hadn't heard of the programme before.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Psychiatrists can be hit and miss. I had an appointment today with a different psychiatrist and she hadn't heard of the programme before.

Very much so. I tend to have a lot of african and indian doctors where i go which can be frustrating. You know with cultural and language differences. I have a hard enough time communicating with an irish person.

Do you know when your DBT course will start or if its in a group?

scrimshanker

Hmm. Need to get the worrying in check. I caught myself worrying that I haven't been worrying much over the last couple of days and what if I'm getting better before I've had a chance to get better??

It's just so ridiculous at times. Nothing worrying me? Really? That can't be right!!!! Something's wrong!!! Seriously if it wasn't such a PITA I'd find it funny.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Very much so. I tend to have a lot of african and indian doctors where i go which can be frustrating. You know with cultural and language differences. I have a hard enough time communicating with an irish person.

Do you know when your DBT course will start or if its in a group?

I think cultural differences are very relevant and noticeable in these situations. I mean mental illnesses are influenced by a wide variety of factors including environmental, social and cultural norms. So having a person who is a native or who has integrated themselves into Irish society can help a lot. It is difficult enough having to talk without having extra barriers.

Yah I know the date and it is group therapy.

carzony

Been off the meds for 5 days and feel great i don't miss or even notice any changes without them.. just proves they were doing nothing for me. i will say my brain and thought process seems a lot clearer..

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

I think cultural differences are very relevant and noticeable in these situations. I mean mental illnesses are influenced by a wide variety of factors including environmental, social and cultural norms. So having a person who is a native or who has integrated themselves into Irish society can help a lot. It is difficult enough having to talk without having extra barriers.

Yah I know the date and it is group therapy.

And i dont mean to sound racist or xenophobic when i say that. Its just when you already have difficulty communicating it makes it all the harder.

Best of luck with the DBT anyways.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

And i dont mean to sound racist or xenophobic when i say that. Its just when you already have difficulty communicating it makes it all the harder.

Best of luck with the DBT anyways.

I understand that. And I hope I didn't come across in a similar way. It's really annoying to be meeting different pdocs. It helps to build up a relationship when you see the same one a couple of times. I think that would help overcome communication issues.

Thanks. I hope that you get an opportunity to bring it up with your psychiatrist. The hse website provides some info on dbt in different regions.

Gremlinertia

Greenfrogs, great news on dbt course!. I'm on it since March, tough at times but good.. Think it's definitely what you put into it.. I had to get over my judgements on mindfulness which I really have thankfully, best of luck for when it starts..

scrimshanker

How are you lately, Gremlinertia?