Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Euphoria Intensifies

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I'm delighted to have come across this thread. I never knew it existed.

I saw Hugo said goodnight a few pages back and you all wished him sweet dreams, I thought that was lovely and oddly it gave me a little bit of comfort knowing that there are some nice people out there going through the same thing as me.

My story: I've been suffering from depression and body dysmorphia for 12 years now. I've been on and off medication and I recently started back on it. I have been taking Prozac now for almost four weeks.

I haven't left my bed at all the past two days while my family are all at work. My brother told me last night to do anything today, go to the cinema, go for a walk, go to the shops, anything once it requires me to get out of bed but I can't. I am so lacking in energy and my eyes are so sore from crying.

The only thing that I am looking forward to is big brother on the TV this evening how sad is that?

I am dreading my family coming home from work because I feel like they don't care or understand. I am going to try so hard and go to the gym when they get back just so I can be away from them. I need the head space.

I hope I haven't hijacked this thread. I just need to talk to people.

Thanks

HW

Hello Heat_Wave - don't worry, you're not hijacking the thread at all.

It's a shame to hear that you're going through such a rough spell. Going to the gym tonight sounds like a good idea, if it will help you get some head space. I know how it feels to get stuck in a rut, where leaving bed seems like the biggest and scariest chore in the world (been going through that myself these past few weeks), but getting out, even if it just means sitting downstairs instead of in bed, or going for a walk to the shop really does help.

Have you tried any type of therapy for your issues? Your GP should be able to let you know about some different types that are available to you locally.

And looking forward to a tv show isn't sad at all in my opinion :P I just spent an hour and a half catching up on my favourite tv shows, which I'd been looking forward to for ages. Self-care is important, and watching a program or a movie you like is definitely self-care.

Hope you start to feel a bit better soon. We're always here for a chat; this is a lovely thread.

Heat_Wave

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Have you tried any type of therapy for your issues? Your GP should be able to let you know about some different types that are available to you locally.

Hi Euphoria,

You wouldn't believe the amount of people I have attended.

I began attending councillors/psychologists/psychiatrists when I was 12 years old. I spoke to each one for approx a year each but felt we were going around in circles.

I spoke to a priest at one stage and he came out to my house to talk to me on several occasions.

I attended homeopaths.

There was a well known psychiatrist that often appeared on the Late Late Show. He had a great reputation and charged €150 per hour session. I attended him weekly for approx 18 months. After 18 months he said there was nothing left he could do, so he referred me to his colleague who worked on the floor above him. I attended his colleague for several months and it didn't make a difference.

I found out shortly after that the two of them were having an affair together. This was so disheartening as you wouldn't expect this behaviour from two psychiatrists and I lost faith in them.

The priest that also came out to my house to talk to me committed suicide a few years ago.

I am attending someone now. I've had two sessions with her but deep down I feel like my faith in therapists is lost due to past experiences.

I really don't know what to do. I don't have any other choice though.

stainluss

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I've tried to get into mindfulness meditation a little while back but the distraction of tv shows and internet took me off track.

How are you today there S?

Good, and you?

Meditation doesn't work for me either, the issue with anxiety is that a mind clouded with worry mimics the symptoms of ADHD, thus making initial meditation nigh on impossible for some. I have been told you'll get through it eventually, I just didn't have the patience.

greenfrogs

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Hi Euphoria,

You wouldn't believe the amount of people I have attended.

I began attending councillors/psychologists/psychiatrists when I was 12 years old. I spoke to each one for approx a year each but felt we were going around in circles.

I spoke to a priest at one stage and he came out to my house to talk to me on several occasions.

I attended homeopaths.

There was a well known psychiatrist that often appeared on the Late Late Show. He had a great reputation and charged €150 per hour session. I attended him weekly for approx 18 months. After 18 months he said there was nothing left he could do, so he referred me to his colleague who worked on the floor above him. I attended his colleague for several months and it didn't make a difference.

I found out shortly after that the two of them were having an affair together. This was so disheartening as you wouldn't expect this behaviour from two psychiatrists and I lost faith in them.

The priest that also came out to my house to talk to me committed suicide a few years ago.

I am attending someone now. I've had two sessions with her but deep down I feel like my faith in therapists is lost due to past experiences.

I really don't know what to do. I don't have any other choice though.

A psychiatrist may have a great reputation but that doesn't mean he will good at treating everyone. Everyone has their limitations. Also maybe he felt that his colleague would be able to offer you something that he couldn't.

I am currently in CBT and I find it amazing. It is very goal orientated. Before I used hate heading out. However last weekend I went out to a pub and club and didn't drink and had a great time. I would never have been able to do that a year ago. I thought I would never be able to do it. In fact many people can only go to a club when drinking. I used very anxious and feel that people were looking at me and thinking I'm ugly, fat etc. Last weekend this was the last thing on my mind.

Hugo Stiglitz

stainluss wrote: »

Good, and you?

Meditation doesn't work for me either, the issue with anxiety is that a mind clouded with worry mimics the symptoms of ADHD, thus making initial meditation nigh on impossible for some. I have been told you'll get through it eventually, I just didn't have the patience.

Damn, I don't wanna add ADHD to the mental illness mix! LOL

Just in work here.

Hopefully we'll develop patience for mindfulness and meditation in time.

Euphoria Intensifies

I think shorter meditation is better to start off with. So just doing 2 minutes at first for a while, and then build it up bit by bit. I find anything over 15 minutes far too long, even 15 mins is a stretch. 10 minutes a day is what we should aim for apparently.

Joya

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

I think shorter meditation is better to start off with. So just doing 2 minutes at first for a while, and then build it up bit by bit. I find anything over 15 minutes far too long, even 15 mins is a stretch. 10 minutes a day is what we should aim for apparently.

thats a very good advice, thank you.

im trying to reduce my meds dose and am on day 6 with 10mg less (from 60)
headache is not that strong even i feel it, and the body is dizzy but the worst is to deal with my depression again.. i know how deep those chasms can be so trying to breathe and wait for the worst to pass...

managed to do a bit of activity today but far to little.. anyway liked that EI..

Roquentin

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

I think shorter meditation is better to start off with. So just doing 2 minutes at first for a while, and then build it up bit by bit. I find anything over 15 minutes far too long, even 15 mins is a stretch. 10 minutes a day is what we should aim for apparently.

Good advice there EI!

mocha please!

Just realised I took 17 tablets today. And 20 yesterday. It's just like prison, you queue up four times a day and you have to take them in front of the nurse. Mental!

mg1982

Anon2013 wrote: »

Thanks mg1982,
It is the side affects that is stopping me taking the medication, I rarely take medication at all as I just prefer to use natural remedies. I also won't take it as I feel yes it'll 'fix' me while I am on the medication but I can't take it for the rest of my life. When I come off it I will eventually go back to the way I am. My doctor doesn't want me to go on it as she feels I am too young, in my early 20s and she also said it can't be used as a long term solution.

Well if the natural remedies help thats a good thing. But i wouldnt rule out medication at some point and the side effects to most anti depressants i have been on are manageable. But definitley try and find a good therapist and also cbt which i hear good things about.

Hugo Stiglitz

mocha please! wrote: »

Just realised I took 17 tablets today. And 20 yesterday. It's just like prison, you queue up four times a day and you have to take them in front of the nurse. Mental!

Do you find it hard on the stomach MP?

I'm, and I'm sure some of the rest here are too, taking fistfuls of the stuff. Some of them are only like 25 mg though! I wish the pharmacist would order in higher dose ones.

Apart from that MP, how are you getting on in there today?

mocha please!

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Do you find it hard on the stomach MP?

I'm, and I'm sure some of the rest here are too, taking fistfuls of the stuff. Some of them are only like 25 mg though! I wish the pharmacist would order in higher dose ones.

Apart from that MP, how are you getting on in there today?

yeah bit hard on the stomach alright.

Met consultant today, she's not going to make a plan for another few days to see how I am then. So I feel like I'm in limbo. Can't leave the hospital. Feck all to do but sleep. She thinks I'll be here 4-6 weeks, longer than I'd thought. She seems nice though all the same.

Hugo Stiglitz

mocha please! wrote: »

yeah bit hard on the stomach alright.

Met consultant today, she's not going to make a plan for another few days to see how I am then. So I feel like I'm in limbo. Can't leave the hospital. Feck all to do but sleep. She thinks I'll be here 4-6 weeks, longer than I'd thought. She seems nice though all the same.

I know we would like to put a nice fast timeline on recovery but unfortunately it just doesn't work that way.

Perhaps the best thing to do is look at all this as some time to recover, discover a path to getting well, and become your true self again.

Gremlinertia

Heya Mocha, good to hear from you. Four to six weeks could be the best thing though.. Least you won't be hobbling through monthly appointments getting nowhere.

mg1982

mocha please! wrote: »

yeah bit hard on the stomach alright.

Met consultant today, she's not going to make a plan for another few days to see how I am then. So I feel like I'm in limbo. Can't leave the hospital. Feck all to do but sleep. She thinks I'll be here 4-6 weeks, longer than I'd thought. She seems nice though all the same.

20 tablets seems like a lot but most of them are probably benzos (anti anxiety) . Whats the hospital itself like? Not too depressing i hope.

Heat_Wave

Hi Mocha,

Sorry I'm new to this thread so forgive me if you've already stated, but which hospital are you in? Pats?

heyday30

Hi mocha, just wanted to wish you well. I hope this is the start the road to recovery for you.

Euphoria Intensifies

mocha please! wrote: »

Just realised I took 17 tablets today. And 20 yesterday. It's just like prison, you queue up four times a day and you have to take them in front of the nurse. Mental!

The queuing up is great craic alright; I used to feel like I was in a film about a psych ward

That is some amount of tablets though! Hope you start to feel a bit better soon x

I know this is a weird question, but do people usually get kept in longer in private hospitals? I've heard of people having to stay in for months and months, and these are people who would just be suffering from depression or anxiety etc on it's own (according to them anyway, obviously people might not want to disclose a full diagnosis). Like I know I was/am technically an inpatient for 3 months when attending the day hospital, so is that how the difference in how the HSE does it? From my experience, they really don't seem to like putting people in full inpatient unless they can't keep themselves safe at all or are going through psychosis etc.

mocha please!

mg1982 wrote: »

20 tablets seems like a lot but most of them are probably benzos (anti anxiety) . Whats the hospital itself like? Not too depressing i hope.

Majority are anti-anxiety, plus an anti-depressant, plus contraceptive pill, plus sleeping tablets, plus - starting today - a very low dose of an anti-psychotic drug. Just in case!

Hospital is grand, staff are lovely, showers are horrible (but I'm in an old part of the hospital.) Food is average, better than your usual hospital food anyways!

mocha please!

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Hi Mocha,

Sorry I'm new to this thread so forgive me if you've already stated, but which hospital are you in? Pats?

Yup that's the one

mocha please!

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

The queuing up is great craic alright; I used to feel like I was in a film about a psych ward

That is some amount of tablets though! Hope you start to feel a bit better soon x

I know this is a weird question, but do people usually get kept in longer in private hospitals? I've heard of people having to stay in for months and months, and these are people who would just be suffering from depression or anxiety etc on it's own (according to them anyway, obviously people might not want to disclose a full diagnosis). Like I know I was/am technically an inpatient for 3 months when attending the day hospital, so is that how the difference in how the HSE does it? From my experience, they really don't seem to like putting people in full inpatient unless they can't keep themselves safe at all or are going through psychosis etc.

When they're getting something like a grand a night from the health insurer, I guess it's in their interests to keep you in as long as possible! Or maybe that's just cynical of me.

Heat_Wave

mocha please! wrote: »

Yup that's the one

I was a day patient there last year for several months and all the in patients said it was lovely. I heard nothing but good reports!

Can people check themselves in?

mocha please!

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I was a day patient there last year for several months and all the in patients said it was lovely. I heard nothing but good reports!

Can people check themselves in?

I'm not sure, I was referred by a GP

Euphoria Intensifies

mocha please! wrote: »

When they're getting something like a grand a night from the health insurer, I guess it's in their interests to keep you in as long as possible! Or maybe that's just cynical of me.

That's what I was thinking too :P

mg1982

I think the HSE run hospitals want you out the door as soon as possible. More interested in saving money.

Gremlinertia

Sometimes all I really want to do is build a mahoosive pillow fort for all on this thread.. A hideaway from the demons.. Quiet space away from bright lights and realities. A break space I guess.

greenfrogs

mocha please! wrote: »

When they're getting something like a grand a night from the health insurer, I guess it's in their interests to keep you in as long as possible! Or maybe that's just cynical of me.

You may not want to answer but how much does your health insurance cost. I know I'll have to get better health insurance in the future in case of a relapse.

heyday30

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Sometimes all I really want to do is build a mahoosive pillow fort for all on this thread.. A hideaway from the demons.. Quiet space away from bright lights and realities. A break space I guess.

That'd be awesome. Like a safety fort

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Sometimes all I really want to do is build a mahoosive pillow fort for all on this thread.. A hideaway from the demons.. Quiet space away from bright lights and realities. A break space I guess.

It would be rather lovely. It's why I do the lottery religiously.