Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

mg1982

mark_jmc wrote: »

thanks for the reply MG, yes a lot of positives thank god,
I have been to the GP and meds are adjusted, hopefully they will kick in soon. i just keep telling myself- i will get out of this

You have beaten this before and you will again, just try and focus on the good things happening which is hard i know.

SillyMangoX

Had such a bad anxiety night last night. I've no idea what triggered it but it felt like I couldn't fill my lungs properly for the entire night. I've gotten better at not letting it develop into full blown panic by thinking logically but when you're tired and it's been going on for hours is hard to keep up that resilience so I ended up having to ring my mam has 5am (she works nights thankfully) to talk me down out of an attack. Feel like a zombie today from it! Still, getting one attack every 2-3 days is better than the 10 a day I was getting! I just wish I could figure out triggers.

Hugo Stiglitz

timecurve12 wrote: »

I was wondering could anyone help me... had a terrible experience in a psych appointment today, where I literally begged for help (I couldn't stop crying) and was refused... they sent me out the door in tears and just offered no support really, no med change nothing. I feel devastated, and I don't know where to turn. I feel dismissed and like they don't listen at all. Does anyone where I can turn? I was thinking my gp but they probably can't do anything now, that I'm under a mental health team. I feel really lost, I'm so upset and there's no where I can go. I feel like I've exhausted all my options. I rang the Samaritans after and I felt like the person on the other end couldn't wait to get me off the phone. Any advice?

So sorry to hear about your experiences there TC. Hearing stuff like that actually angers the blood. :mad: Like others have said, tell your GP about what happened. I'm sure they won't be impressed by it either and may be able to intervene on your behalf.

mark_jmc wrote: »

selfishly i stay away from reading this forum when im feeling well as i find it can act as a trigger for me but at the moment I am right in the pit,
this is down there with the worst i have felt in the last 15 years and i dont know how to get out. I'm functioning, going to work, existing but it feels like there is no hope, i hate this feeling. i am clinging on to my thought that i will get out of this because i've done it before but its just so hard. What makes it all worse is that my life is actually going well at the moment, I have a job I love, my boss is great, I have a wonderful wife, who is 10 weeks pregnant, my friends and family are fantastic.
i just cant get myself out of this

Hey Mark. I hope this passes for you soon there, my friend. If you were able to do it before, you'll be able to do it again. Keep that thought in your mind.

SillyMangoX wrote: »

Had such a bad anxiety night last night. I've no idea what triggered it but it felt like I couldn't fill my lungs properly for the entire night. I've gotten better at not letting it develop into full blown panic by thinking logically but when you're tired and it's been going on for hours is hard to keep up that resilience so I ended up having to ring my mam has 5am (she works nights thankfully) to talk me down out of an attack. Feel like a zombie today from it! Still, getting one attack every 2-3 days is better than the 10 a day I was getting! I just wish I could figure out triggers.

Sorry to hear about your rough night there SM.
Thinking it out logically is a huge step! Well done on that.
Fingers crossed you'll soon be able to get it down to maybe one a day and then get rid of them altogether.

scrimshanker

Hmm. Thought I was doing okay, over it, matters mostly resolved except a little work to do on worrying too much. Then I get one email from work, just one friendly email, and I'm right back in the horrors. Sh!t...

mg1982

scrimshanker wrote: »

Hmm. Thought I was doing okay, over it, matters mostly resolved except a little work to do on worrying too much. Then I get one email from work, just one friendly email, and I'm right back in the horrors. Sh!t...

Its frustrating when your having a stable few days and then one small thing comes along and it knocks you right off course. Its a common problem for me. Do you know what was in the email that set it off?

mickrichards

Be strong everybody,it is not easy and can be very downheartning at times,but try and hang on and tomorrow may be a better day.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Hmm. Thought I was doing okay, over it, matters mostly resolved except a little work to do on worrying too much. Then I get one email from work, just one friendly email, and I'm right back in the horrors. Sh!t...

Sorry to hear that Scrim.

You wanna talk it out with us here?

mg1982

Hey Hugo mate hows life with you.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Hey Hugo mate hows life with you.

Not the worst here thanks MG. Today was hectic in parts but got through it ok in the end.

How's our MG?

mg1982

Your great to be holding down a full time job. Think it will be part time work for me from now on.

Im not bad, bit stressed earlier on for some reason. Enjoying the good weather.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Your great to be holding down a full time job. Think it will be part time work for me from now on.

Im not bad, bit stressed earlier on for some reason. Enjoying the good weather.

Thanks man. It can be tough to do so at times.

I'm a functional vampire I must admit. Loves my shade!

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Thanks man. It can be tough to do so at times.

I'm a functional vampire I must admit. Loves my shade!

You need to get the old vitamin D though.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

You need to get the old vitamin D though.

I get enough of it when out smoking. Too much and I end up looking like a chubby Dr Zoidberg!

Euphoria Intensifies

Chubby Dr Zoidberg, I love it! That description suits sunburnt me perfectly too :P

Gremlinertia

I'm more like ma trash heap!. No wonder I prefer working nights..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm more like ma trash heap!. No wonder I prefer working nights..

You ain't no trash heap Grem!

Roquentin

mg1982

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm more like ma trash heap!. No wonder I prefer working nights..

Depression can make us feel like that, remember that its an illness,

Just after mowing the lawn. Feel like i ran a marathon. No energy.

scrimshanker

I'm away on a sun holiday at the moment... I just can't cope with the heat here. At least I have my vitamin d sorted for the next year or two :-P thankfully I'm not totally burnt to a crisp, but I really am getting there. Too fair skinned to be outside.. Like, ever, during the day time.

On a separate note, I'm kinda pondering my next appointment with the therapist... I dislike the path it's going down and there are other things I think I'd rather discuss, but I can't help wondering if that's me resisting it because actually I do need to work that stuff out. So I don't know whether to try steer things a bit. If I mention tonight's email it's hard not to keep going in this vein, if I don't well then I'm keeping some pertinent information quiet, and that can't be good. I wish I could turn my head off and just go with the flow of it. But if I could I guess I wouldn't be in psychotherapy, would I? Holiday... Ruined. All thanks to an email.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

I'm away on a sun holiday at the moment... I just can't cope with the heat here. At least I have my vitamin d sorted for the next year or two :-P thankfully I'm not totally burnt to a crisp, but I really am getting there. Too fair skinned to be outside.. Like, ever, during the day time.

On a separate note, I'm kinda pondering my next appointment with the therapist... I dislike the path it's going down and there are other things I think I'd rather discuss, but I can't help wondering if that's me resisting it because actually I do need to work that stuff out. So I don't know whether to try steer things a bit. If I mention tonight's email it's hard not to keep going in this vein, if I don't well then I'm keeping some pertinent information quiet, and that can't be good. I wish I could turn my head off and just go with the flow of it. But if I could I guess I wouldn't be in psychotherapy, would I? Holiday... Ruined. All thanks to an email.

Maybe discuss this with your therapist. Sometimes we need to be in the right frame of mind to tackle various issues. I would recommend that you are as honest as possible with your therapist. Did your therapist ask you what issues you wanted to sort out first or did she just pick one?

Your holiday shouldn't be ruined by one email. That is just this silly illness. I know it will be difficult but try not to think about it too much. If you find your mind focusing on this issue then change your thoughts to something else or change what you are doing.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

Maybe discuss this with your therapist. Sometimes we need to be in the right frame of mind to tackle various issues. I would recommend that you are as honest as possible with your therapist. Did your therapist ask you what issues you wanted to sort out first or did she just pick one?

Your holiday shouldn't be ruined by one email. That is just this silly illness. I know it will be difficult but try not to think about it too much. If you find your mind focusing on this issue then change your thoughts to something else or change what you are doing.

Thanks. I'm being a bit dramatic about the email but it's put me back in a funk I thought I'd gotten out of.

The therapy just kinda went in the current direction. I don't really feel capable of raising it though. I've always been bad at talking.

heyday30

So so tired. Smallest of things tire me very easily. My thyroid med's being adjusted so I hope this will help.

I feel like an old woman. Gets me down tbh. My brain wants to do things my body just won't go.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Thanks. I'm being a bit dramatic about the email but it's put me back in a funk I thought I'd gotten out of.

The therapy just kinda went in the current direction. I don't really feel capable of raising it though. I've always been bad at talking.

How about writing it down and showing it to your therapist?

heyday30 wrote: »

So so tired. Smallest of things tire me very easily. My thyroid med's being adjusted so I hope this will help.

I feel like an old woman. Gets me down tbh. My brain wants to do things my body just won't go.

Sounds tough. I feel drowsy at times but not to the point where I can't do things and am totally lethargic.

On an unrelated note my therapist referred me to what she called an occupational therapist who works in my local mental health centre. This person will help me with my cv and what areas to look for jobs in etc. Has anyone done this before.

Euphoria Intensifies

Scrim, I definitely have found that if I'm resisting talking about something in therapy, it's because it's something that is really hard to talk about or that I'm ashamed of etc. These are difficult to get through, but I really would recommend you keep going with the current topic even if it seems hard (obviously if it's something you feel will negatively impact you/trigger you then don't listen to me). Once you start to work on the really difficult stuff, things really do start to change for the better. I've really changed as a person compared to before I started therapy. I know I'm going through a crap period at the minute, but five years ago I was even more self-destructive and full of self-hatred. So things do change.

Gongoozler

So I'm at the point where I don't know what's going to happen. Which feels utterly ****.
Then I thought best to come to work, so I'm not moping all day. then I got another insulting and degrading email from a member of the public, a complaint about me when I've done nothing wrong. I have had to send it to several people because of what it is, and some are laughing at it. It feels horrible. I feel so alone and belittled and worthless.

Whizzzy

On Epilim Chrono 2 x 500mg daily.

Had a dire migraine yesterday - probably due to too much computer etc..

Feeling crap now.

Two Paracetamol - not taken at the same time, bunged up my system. Only managed bowel motion this morning after two days.

So, felt a little high (overconfident would be a better word) before the migraine.

Awake all night last night - always the way.

Now, bowel back to normal. Long walk this morning.

Exhausted, but can feel Epilim kicking in again.

Question: If you have a bowel issue for whatever reason, can you experience cold-turkey on the Epilim and feel Bi-Polar type sysptoms? Coz that's what it feels like to me, though I haven't been diagnosed with Bi-P by my psych.

Thanks.

D.

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

So so tired. Smallest of things tire me very easily. My thyroid med's being adjusted so I hope this will help.

I feel like an old woman. Gets me down tbh. My brain wants to do things my body just won't go.

The fatigue is awful sometimes. Its like you only have a certain amount of energy to get you through the day. Hope the mede adjustment will help. H.

mg1982

Whizzzy wrote: »

On Epilim Chrono 2 x 500mg daily.

Had a dire migraine yesterday - probably due to too much computer etc..

Feeling crap now.

Two Paracetamol - not taken at the same time, bunged up my system. Only managed bowel motion this morning after two days.

So, felt a little high (overconfident would be a better word) before the migraine.

Awake all night last night - always the way.

Now, bowel back to normal. Long walk this morning.

Exhausted, but can feel Epilim kicking in again.

Question: If you have a bowel issue for whatever reason, can you experience cold-turkey on the Epilim and feel Bi-Polar type sysptoms? Coz that's what it feels like to me, though I haven't been diagnosed with Bi-P by my psych.

Thanks.

D.

Im not familiar with Epilum. But i know its perscribed for Epilepsy and as a mood stabiliser. So im not sure of the side effects. Were you having periods of high mood before you took it?

Dinarius

mg1982 wrote: »

Im not familiar with Epilum. But i know its perscribed for Epilepsy and as a mood stabiliser. So im not sure of the side effects. Were you having periods of high mood before you took it?

Before I moved from 200mg Epilim per day to 1000mg per day, I still had the occasions grand mal.

I may have been feeling good, but high mood would be an exaggeration.

The best analogy I can give is that after a grand mal, the hard drive was defragmenter and I felt great again.

But, now the Epilim prevents the grand mal but leaves me feeling awful after a migraine.

Migraine, epilepsy and Bi-P. are sort of first cousins, aren't they?

D.

Ps. And while it might be chicken and egg, if I mentioned the words self esteem, would they ring any bells?

Euphoria Intensifies

Dinarius wrote: »

Before I moved from 200mg Epilim per day to 1000mg per day, I still had the occasions grand mal.

I may have been feeling good, but high mood would be an exaggeration.

The best analogy I can give is that after a grand mal, the hard drive was defragmenter and I felt great again.

But, now the Epilim prevents the grand mal but leaves me feeling awful after a migraine.

Migraine, epilepsy and Bi-P. are sort of first cousins, aren't they?

D.

Ps. And while it might be chicken and egg, if I mentioned the words self esteem, would they ring any bells?

I really think those questions and the ones above are ones you need to ask your GP or specialist rather than here tbh.

With regards self-esteem, low self-esteem is definitely a huge issue for me. But as you say, chicken and egg. Not sure if my low self-esteem comes from having mental health issues, or mental health issues have caused low self-esteem. For me, I think it's probably linked to my BPD traits, as the low self-esteem appeared when they started to become an issue for me. But my mum would have very low self-esteem as well, so that has something to do with it I'm sure also. I think it's both "nurture" and "nature" for me, as opposed to one or the other.