Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

With regards self-esteem, low self-esteem is definitely a huge issue for me. But as you say, chicken and egg. Not sure if my low self-esteem comes from having mental health issues, or mental health issues have caused low self-esteem.

I'd say something similar here too EI. It's something I can't really see getting fixed here to be honest.

greenfrogs

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

I really think those questions and the ones above are ones you need to ask your GP or specialist rather than here tbh.

With regards self-esteem, low self-esteem is definitely a huge issue for me. But as you say, chicken and egg. Not sure if my low self-esteem comes from having mental health issues, or mental health issues have caused low self-esteem. For me, I think it's probably linked to my BPD traits, as the low self-esteem appeared when they started to become an issue for me. But my mum would have very low self-esteem as well, so that has something to do with it I'm sure also. I think it's both "nurture" and "nature" for me, as opposed to one or the other.

I think for me it's a case of nature and nurture. I think some people are predisposed to certain illness and then lifestyle determines if we actually get these illnesses. I think I went through very awkward teenage years and never really grew out of it. Most teenagers come out the other side but I don't think I did.

Gongoozler

I'm only at page 50 but my book is quite good. It's on the idea of you having a nice inner critic and it explains things very well. It's concise and constructive. no blathering either. So much of it clicks with me.

I'll see if I can post a picture up.

I'd recommend it if any of you are in the right place for it now.

greenfrogs

Pissed off. It's crazy how one little thing can throw me off track. What's worse it's the exact same thing that upsets me every time. I can't wait for dbt skills to start. I'm hoping that makes a difference.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Pissed off. It's crazy how one little thing can throw me off track. What's worse it's the exact same thing that upsets me every time. I can't wait for dbt skills to start. I'm hoping that makes a difference.

Know the feeling GF. I feel like a leaf blowing in the wind being thrown all over the place. Do you know when the DBT is starting?

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Know the feeling GF. I feel like a leaf blowing in the wind being thrown all over the place. Do you know when the DBT is starting?

Yah it's a pretty crap feeling. Yah I know. Another few weeks to go. All it took was seeing a former friend block me on an instant messaging service. I haven't spoken to them in months. But why block me now. I was in a crap mood and then started crying and contacted them via a different method. I suppose at least I wasn't nasty. Things ended on bad terms and I apologised for that. Thank god I have therapy tomorrow.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Yah it's a pretty crap feeling. Yah I know. Another few weeks to go. All it took was seeing a former friend block me on an instant messaging service. I haven't spoken to them in months. But why block me now. I was in a crap mood and then started crying and contacted them via a different method. I suppose at least I wasn't nasty. Things ended on bad terms and I apologised for that. Thank god I have therapy tomorrow.

Sorry to hear that GF. That sounds very tough. Hope the therapy is of help 2moro.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Sorry to hear that GF. That sounds very tough. Hope the therapy is of help 2moro.

Thanks. I am sick and tired of this happening every few months. I have spent hours discussing this in therapy. I have improved but I shouldn't have contacted them. I just got really upset and felt compelled to do it. But then that is a sign of bpd traits.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Thanks. I am sick and tired of this happening every few months. I have spent hours discussing this in therapy. I have improved but I shouldn't have contacted them. I just got really upset and felt compelled to do it. But then that is a sign of bpd traits.

From what i know of bpd it is so hard to regulate your emotions, everything feels more intense. It must be so hard to cope with.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

From what i know of bpd it is so hard to regulate your emotions, everything feels more intense. It must be so hard to cope with.

Yes it is hard. For the last few months I have focused on my social anxiety so it has reduced. But my god there were times I genuinely felt like I was going crazy. However I know I will never be able to have a normal relationship when I can't control my moods. It's not fair on me or the person I'm in a relationship with. Therapy has worked really well on me so far so I hope the dbt skills will work as well. I can't wait to start it.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Yes it is hard. For the last few months I have focused on my social anxiety so it has reduced. But my god there were times I genuinely felt like I was going crazy. However I know I will never be able to have a normal relationship when I can't control my moods. It's not fair on me or the person I'm in a relationship with. Therapy has worked really well on me so far so I hope the dbt skills will work as well. I can't wait to start it.

Dbt was specifically made for bpd so it should have an impact. Im sure you will be able to have normal relationships someday GF. It just takes time and hard work i guess.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Dbt was specifically made for bpd so it should have an impact. Im sure you will be able to have normal relationships someday GF. It just takes time and hard work i guess.

Yah time and hard work are required by the bucket load. I just wish other people could recognise the work I put in to get better. I feel the person who blocked me thinks I'm crazy or horrible. But I'm not. It was the illness. A bit of understanding goes a long way.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Yah time and hard work are required by the bucket load. I just wish other people could recognise the work I put in to get better. I feel the person who blocked me thinks I'm crazy or horrible. But I'm not. It was the illness. A bit of understanding goes a long way.

Exactly, but sometimes it is sadly lacking in others.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Exactly, but sometimes it is sadly lacking in others.

So true. I'm more annoyed that I let this upset me.

Hugo Stiglitz

Rejection, in any form, is not nice at all.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Rejection, in any form, is not nice at all.

It hurts a lot but id say thats more down to having low self esteem. If i had confidence in myself, rejection wouldnt be such a problem.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

It hurts a lot but id say thats more down to having low self esteem. If i had confidence in myself, rejection wouldnt be such a problem.

No arguments there my friend.

mg1982

Hows things there Hugo. Looking forward to the weekend?

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Hows things there Hugo. Looking forward to the weekend?

Anxiety has dropped a bit thankfully but mood isn't great: not bad per se but sorta a bit lost if you get me.

How's our MG?

I look forward to every weekend but as soon as it arrives I get bored and don't know what to do with myself. Anything planned yourself sir?

mg1982

Not too bad here. Spent most the day drawing in bales for my brother in law so that kept me busy.

No plans for weekend apart from watch a lot of football. lol

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Not too bad here. Spent most the day drawing in bales for my brother in law so that kept me busy.

No plans for weekend apart from watch a lot of football. lol

Jaysus, that sounds like really physical labour! Fair play!

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Jaysus, that sounds like really physical labour! Fair play!

Ah its not too bad. Theres a nice comfy seat on the tractor and a cd player. Its more about concentration which can be tricky, as my mind does wander a lot.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Ah its not too bad. Theres a nice comfy seat on the tractor and a cd player. Its more about concentration which can be tricky, as my mind does wander a lot.

I thought you did it by hand! Silly me! LOL

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I thought you did it by hand! Silly me! LOL

These are round bales. Square bales you do collect by hand.

Thats the farming lesson over for today.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

These are round bales. Square bales you do collect by hand.

Thats the farming lesson over for today.

I have so much to learn!

heyday30

I think now I'd actually love to live on a farm. Always thought I'd be a townie girl but the peace of the country side seems appealing

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

I think now I'd actually love to live on a farm. Always thought I'd be a townie girl but the peace of the country side seems appealing

I love the peace and quiet of the countryside, especially in the evening time, things get quiet apart from birds singing. Think id find living in a town stressfull. Id end up staying indoors all the time.

Roquentin

heyday30 wrote: »

I think now I'd actually love to live on a farm. Always thought I'd be a townie girl but the peace of the country side seems appealing

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a-glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

It hurts a lot but id say thats more down to having low self esteem. If i had confidence in myself, rejection wouldnt be such a problem.

For me rejection will always not be nice. However it feels a lot less hurtful than a few months ago. I have worked on widening my social circle so I have more options now. However you have a point. I find it difficult to control my emotions in friendships with the opposite sex. I have quite a bad track record with men. I would have a poor self esteem in that regard. It's definitely an area that needs work but maybe at a later date.

heyday30

mg1982 wrote: »

I love the peace and quiet of the countryside, especially in the evening time, things get quiet apart from birds singing. Think id find living in a town stressfull. Id end up staying indoors all the time.

An ex came from farming background. Used to love staying out at his. So peaceful.