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Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

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    #7022
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    heyday30 wrote: »
    An ex came from farming background. Used to love staying out at his. So peaceful.

    You'll get your country house in time H :)


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    #7023
    greenfrogs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,115 ✭✭✭greenfrogs


    Just realising I still have a lot of work to do with regards therapy. I thought I was nearing the end of cbt. But maybe I will have to start exploring my thoughts on relationships and men. What's worse is that I will have to do homework on this area. It's easy to block off an area of your life but sometimes you have to come to face to face with that area.


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    #7024
    mg1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,772 ✭✭✭mg1982


    greenfrogs wrote: »
    For me rejection will always not be nice. However it feels a lot less hurtful than a few months ago. I have worked on widening my social circle so I have more options now. However you have a point. I find it difficult to control my emotions in friendships with the opposite sex. I have quite a bad track record with men. I would have a poor self esteem in that regard. It's definitely an area that needs work but maybe at a later date.

    Well your going about it the right way GF and overtime you will have better control over your emotions, hopefully the DBT helps with this.


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    #7025
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    I've gotten rejected so many times now over the years, both in real life and online. Unfortunately it never seems to get any easier. I think I'm toxic. I'm the only common thing in it all.


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    #7026
    mg1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,772 ✭✭✭mg1982


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    I've gotten rejected so many times now over the years, both in real life and online. Unfortunately it never seems to get any easier. I think I'm toxic. I'm the only common thing in it all.

    It kinda becomes a self fulfilling prophecy after a while though. Thats how i found it.


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    #7027
    mg1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,772 ✭✭✭mg1982


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    I've gotten rejected so many times now over the years, both in real life and online. Unfortunately it never seems to get any easier. I think I'm toxic. I'm the only common thing in it all.

    Your far from toxic Hugo man. You are a great support to people on here including me so dont think of yourself that way.


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    #7028
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    mg1982 wrote: »
    It kinda becomes a self fulfilling prophecy after a while though. Thats how i found it.

    Very true.
    mg1982 wrote: »
    Your far from toxic Hugo man. You are a great support to people on here including me so dont think of yourself that way.

    Thanks for the kind words there MG, they're greatly appreciated. :)

    Perhaps toxic was too strong a word to use in my last post, negative might have been better maybe.


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    #7029
    mocha please!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 179 ✭✭mocha please!


    mg1982 wrote: »
    Your far from toxic Hugo man. You are a great support to people on here including me so dont think of yourself that way.

    My thoughts exactly. I'm terrible for posting here only when I need support, but I am not a great source of support for others here. Hugo, you always have kind words and advice for everyone and it's obvious how genuine and heartfelt it is. And sometimes all you need to know is that someone has read your words ... That someone cares. You have been that "someone" for so many people here, so many times. You're all kinds of awesome Hugo and don't you forget it! :)


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    #7030
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    mocha please! wrote: »
    My thoughts exactly. I'm terrible for posting here only when I need support, but I am not a great source of support for others here. Hugo, you always have kind words and advice for everyone and it's obvious how genuine and heartfelt it is. And sometimes all you need to know is that someone has read your words ... That someone cares. You have been that "someone" for so many people here, so many times. You're all kinds of awesome Hugo and don't you forget it! :)

    Thanks for the kind words there MP. :)

    I guess I show my negativity mostly when I am feeling funky. I'm prone to moaning to anyone who will listen. That's very much a turn off, one that I will need to work on.


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    #7031
    heyday30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,877 ✭✭✭heyday30


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    Thanks for the kind words there MP. :)

    I guess I show my negativity mostly when I am feeling funky. I'm prone to moaning to anyone who will listen. That's very much a turn off, one that I will need to work on.

    We are all prone to moaning here Hugo. Though I prefer to call it reaching out. I do it a lot here as I wouldn't do it face to face.

    You ain't alone :)


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    #7032
    IvoryTower
    Registered Users Posts: 3,825 ✭✭✭IvoryTower


    Hey,

    I'm looking for find a good place to get counselling in Drogheda to deal with depression. It's for my oh. She mentioned trying CBT but I guess whatever is recommended we would consider.

    Should I post a thread here, or maybe in the Louth forum?

    Thanks


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    #7033
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    IvoryTower wrote: »
    Hey,

    I'm looking for find a good place to get counselling in Drogheda to deal with depression. It's for my oh. She mentioned trying CBT but I guess whatever is recommended we would consider.

    Should I post a thread here, or maybe in the Louth forum?

    Thanks

    Hey IT.

    Fair play to you for taking the time and making to the effort to look into this. :)

    You know it might not be any harm to post this in the Louth forum too, just in case someone in that forum who doesn't frequent this thread knows of the best place locally.

    A few of the lads in here swear by CBT. Maybe they will chime in when they see your post and let you know more about it.

    Is your OH a Boards user? They would be more than welcome to post here for advice and also to talk about things generally.

    Hope you get the info you need.


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    #7034
    IvoryTower
    Registered Users Posts: 3,825 ✭✭✭IvoryTower


    Hi Hugo,

    I'll post something in the Louth forum so. I'll also let her know about this place, she does use the board sometimes.

    Thanks.


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    #7035
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 60,237 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Woke up in a funk.. Not a clue why, just did. I know this feeling so it'll be kind of miserable for the day, must treat myself to something.


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    #7036
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Gremlinertia wrote: »
    Woke up in a funk.. Not a clue why, just did. I know this feeling so it'll be kind of miserable for the day, must treat myself to something.

    You work plenty hard Grem, you deserve a treat. What would you like?


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    #7037
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 60,237 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Arra it's just to keep a full blown downer hitting i hope.. Dbt skill to try.


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    #7038
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Gremlinertia wrote: »
    Arra it's just to keep a full blown downer hitting i hope.. Dbt skill to try.

    Sounds like a good strategy actually. Must try it myself sometime. :)

    Hope you pull out of the funk there Grem.


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    #7039
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 60,237 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    A lot of the skills are so logical, the huge barrier in my case is trying to believe i'm worth doing them.. Self worth is a big thing for a lot of people with these illnesses sustained depression etc just crushes your self-esteem..


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    #7040
    scrimshanker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 738 ✭✭✭scrimshanker


    *sigh*

    I wish I could leave, just go away and start over. Fed up with life, fed up with commitments, fed up with everything.


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    #7041
    Euphoria Intensifies
    Closed Accounts Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Euphoria Intensifies


    Gremlinertia wrote: »
    A lot of the skills are so logical, the huge barrier in my case is trying to believe i'm worth doing them.. Self worth is a big thing for a lot of people with these illnesses sustained depression etc just crushes your self-esteem..

    So, so true. I started DBT skills with the nurse recently and they seem like really practical steps that are just common sense. But I'm still fighting that voice inside me that says "you're **** and don't deserve to be happy", so I've been crap at trying to keep on top of the skills. But you know what Grem? We are worth it, we are, we are, we are. We just need to keep that in mind.
    scrimshanker wrote: »
    *sigh*

    I wish I could leave, just go away and start over. Fed up with life, fed up with commitments, fed up with everything.

    Do you think going for a short break or something like that would refresh you? Like booking into a spa, or going to the beach for a few days? Even if the weather's awful I just find there's something so calming and soothing about being by the sea. I grew up near the coast, so that's maybe why. You wouldn't even need to spend too much to do it - there's always deals on groupon and sites like that. I went to Belfast last year by myself to go to a gig. Booked into a hotel, had nice food, relaxed a bit and saw one of my fave bands (QOTSA, if anyone's wondering). It was great. Hope you feel a bit better soon.


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    #7042
    mg1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,772 ✭✭✭mg1982


    Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »
    So, so true. I started DBT skills with the nurse recently and they seem like really practical steps that are just common sense. But I'm still fighting that voice inside me that says "you're **** and don't deserve to be happy", so I've been crap at trying to keep on top of the skills. But you know what Grem? We are worth it, we are, we are, we are. We just need to keep that in mind.



    Do you think going for a short break or something like that would refresh you? Like booking into a spa, or going to the beach for a few days? Even if the weather's awful I just find there's something so calming and soothing about being by the sea. I grew up near the coast, so that's maybe why. You wouldn't even need to spend too much to do it - there's always deals on groupon and sites like that. I went to Belfast last year by myself to go to a gig. Booked into a hotel, had nice food, relaxed a bit and saw one of my fave bands (QOTSA, if anyone's wondering). It was great. Hope you feel a bit better soon.

    Often thought of booking a weekend away for myself into a nice hotel or something. Especially somewhere along the coast where you could walk on the beach and where it wouldnt be too busy. Might do it sometime just to get a break from the norm.

    Who are QOTSA Euphoria? :D


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    #7043
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 60,237 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Queens of the stone age. Brilliant rock band..

    Book something for yourself, it's quite a tonic to have something to look forward to..


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    #7044
    scrimshanker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 738 ✭✭✭scrimshanker


    Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »
    Do you think going for a short break or something like that would refresh you? Like booking into a spa, or going to the beach for a few days? Even if the weather's awful I just find there's something so calming and soothing about being by the sea. I grew up near the coast, so that's maybe why. You wouldn't even need to spend too much to do it - there's always deals on groupon and sites like that. I went to Belfast last year by myself to go to a gig. Booked into a hotel, had nice food, relaxed a bit and saw one of my fave bands (QOTSA, if anyone's wondering). It was great. Hope you feel a bit better soon.

    Thanks EI, I'm actually just back from a week away. Think it's just hitting me how rubbish things are here. I relaxed a good bit while away, but it's only taken a couple of days of being back. I actually live by the coast myself, and I hope always to because I get very claustrophobic when I'm inland... The sea calms me a lot.

    And QOTSA are great :)


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    #7045
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    How were you when you were away Scrim? I recall you getting a work email that hit you hard, but apart from how were things?


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    #7046
    scrimshanker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 738 ✭✭✭scrimshanker


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    How were you when you were away Scrim? I recall you getting a work email that hit you hard, but apart from how were things?

    Actually I was great. Mind was still very overactive thinking about stuff. One worry (would the room have two beds, would I have to fight with reception to get moved if it didn't?) turned into another worry (will we get late check out on our departure day?), and then the emails arrived and all the relaxation went out the window tbh. But other than the head worrying it was fine, I was really quite relaxed


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    #7047
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    scrimshanker wrote: »
    Actually I was great. Mind was still very overactive thinking about stuff. One worry (would the room have two beds, would I have to fight with reception to get moved if it didn't?) turned into another worry (will we get late check out on our departure day?), and then the emails arrived and all the relaxation went out the window tbh. But other than the head worrying it was fine, I was really quite relaxed

    Am glad to hear that you able to relax while away :)


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    #7048
    scrimshanker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 738 ✭✭✭scrimshanker


    Just reading back, the funny thing is that the room had two beds, had just been renovated and we got late check out! So the fact I spent the holiday hopping from one worry to another annoys me greatly! I just can't seem to cope with uncertainty in the future...


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    #7049
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    scrimshanker wrote: »
    I just can't seem to cope with uncertainty in the future...

    I would imagine that that is a common downfall for us all in here.


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    #7050
    greenfrogs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,115 ✭✭✭greenfrogs


    scrimshanker wrote: »
    Just reading back, the funny thing is that the room had two beds, had just been renovated and we got late check out! So the fact I spent the holiday hopping from one worry to another annoys me greatly! I just can't seem to cope with uncertainty in the future...

    I think about the future a lot less now. I think before I used focus on the future, the past but never the present. We can't change the future or the past. We need to focus more on the present.

    Just back from a family occasion. I got plenty of questions about my last job which I was let go from. It was awkward and upsetting at times but overall I think I handled it well. I would not have coped in that kind of situation a year ago. I would of been in tears, gotten down quite easily and lost in my own dark world.


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    #7051
    mg1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,772 ✭✭✭mg1982


    greenfrogs wrote: »
    I think about the future a lot less now. I think before I used focus on the future, the past but never the present. We can't change the future or the past. We need to focus more on the present.

    Just back from a family occasion. I got plenty of questions about my last job which I was let go from. It was awkward and upsetting at times but overall I think I handled it well. I would not have coped in that kind of situation a year ago. I would of been in tears, gotten down quite easily and lost in my own dark world.

    That definitely is progress GF, those conversations can be tricky to handle, i know myself. Focusing on the present is what im trying to do more of but unfortunatley i feel my past defines me.


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