Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

greenfrogs

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

It's not fair on either party to stick around when ones feels like that. Best to address it both for your own sake most importantly but also the others.

It's not a current issue. Just a pattern I've noticed from the past.

Hugo Stiglitz

greenfrogs wrote: »

It's not a current issue. Just a pattern I've noticed from the past.

Glad to hear it GF.

It sounds like you're really examining your life there and are doing your utmost to change.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

It's not a current issue. Just a pattern I've noticed from the past.

Glad to hear of the breakthrough you made there GF. The more we understand ourselves the more power we have to control our illnesses.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Glad to hear of the breakthrough you made there GF. The more we understand ourselves the more power we have to control our illnesses.

Thanks. I really like your last sentence. It's all about being in control of our own lives. Not to be dependent on others or have our belief system controlled by others.

I got myself an interview for next week. I'm happy but nervous. The only thing casting a dark shadow is the fact I have so much therapy left. I have to start a dbt skills programme for 6 months so I can't work for a couple hours one day of the week. Also I'm still in cbt. Why don't they put programmes on at the weekend. What do I say at the interview. If they know it's illness related then they may request a medical cert that I'm fit to work. They may question me on my illness. I am so frustrated I wasn't referred for dbt months ago as it was questioned did I have bpd traits from the start of my treatment. I could be finished all my therapy now.

I think I will have to look for a job which gives me more flexibility like retail, waitressing. I hate having to deal with lots of people. I have made a lot of progress in my social anxiety though. However I know they can be stressful work environment. I'd hate to relapse but anything is better than sitting at home. I'd love a part time job.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Thanks. I really like your last sentence. It's all about being in control of our own lives. Not to be dependent on others or have our belief system controlled by others.

I got myself an interview for next week. I'm happy but nervous. The only thing casting a dark shadow is the fact I have so much therapy left. I have to start a dbt skills programme for 6 months so I can't work for a couple hours one day of the week. Also I'm still in cbt. Why don't they put programmes on at the weekend. What do I say at the interview. If they know it's illness related then they may request a medical cert that I'm fit to work. They may question me on my illness. I am so frustrated I wasn't referred for dbt months ago as it was questioned did I have bpd traits from the start of my treatment. I could be finished all my therapy now.

I think I will have to look for a job which gives me more flexibility like retail, waitressing. I hate having to deal with lots of people. I have made a lot of progress in my social anxiety though. However I know they can be stressful work environment. I'd hate to relapse but anything is better than sitting at home. I'd love a part time job.

Best of luck with the interview next week GF. Maybe starting off part time is a good thing so you can ease back into a working environment. I myself will have to be very careful with the next job i choose as the last one turned out to be very detrimental to my anxiety levels. I think it will have to be part time as well.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Best of luck with the interview next week GF. Maybe starting off part time is a good thing so you can ease back into a working environment. I myself will have to be very careful with the next job i choose as the last one turned out to be very detrimental to my anxiety levels. I think it will have to be part time as well.

Thanks. I think part time is probably best. I think I would struggle doing therapy and working full time. I have no idea how others in here manage it. I suppose we have to do what is best for our health. It's all about the long term goals. There will be more jobs like the one I have the interview for. I just have to be patient. I was thinking if I got the job I would reconsider doing the dbt skills programme but I know that I silly.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

Thanks. I think part time is probably best. I think I would struggle doing therapy and working full time. I have no idea how others in here manage it. I suppose we have to do what is best for our health. It's all about the long term goals. There will be more jobs like the one I have the interview for. I just have to be patient. I was thinking if I got the job I would reconsider doing the dbt skills programme but I know that I silly.

I would definitely still go ahead with the dbt therapy even if you get a job. I admire the people on here that are able to hold down full time employment. Hopefully some day i can too. As you said its a marathon not a sprint so even if this doesnt work out there will be more opportunities in the future.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

I admire the people on here that are able to hold down full time employment. Hopefully some day i can too. As you said its a marathon not a sprint so even if this doesnt work out there will be more opportunities in the future.

Without meaning to sound like a martyr, it can be a tough. It can bring along its own set of stress and worries. That being said, it can be very rewarding at times too.

You'll get there in time MG. For now, focus on getting yourself healthy. You can do it man!

heyday30

Bit of a soppy mare today. Thought this was lovely.
My wishes for you all x

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

I would definitely still go ahead with the dbt therapy even if you get a job. I admire the people on here that are able to hold down full time employment. Hopefully some day i can too. As you said its a marathon not a sprint so even if this doesnt work out there will be more opportunities in the future.

Someday you will. There's no point in working full time if your not well enough to. Looking back when I was working full time I am actually shocked at the state I was in. I can't believe I even managed to go in everyday. It was no life. At least we have the opportunity to focus on getting better.

Hugo Stiglitz

greenfrogs wrote: »

Someday you will. There's no point in working full time if your not well enough to. Looking back when I was working full time I am actually shocked at the state I was in. I can't believe I even managed to go in everyday. It was no life. At least we have the opportunity to focus on getting better.

GF is right here MG. Working fulltime when you're not well can be totally destroying for your mental well-being.

Call Me Jimmy

Thirded, I did it and it nearly killed me.

Hugo Stiglitz

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Thirded, I did it and it nearly killed me.

You'll get there J. Just give it time.

heyday30

Mg I can't hold down a job either at the moment. Had to leave my last one.
As Jimmy said it nearly killed me also.

But I accept it now for the time being. I hope to get back into employment at some stage but it will be part time and something suitable. Have a way to go before that.

Ur not alone mate. We'll get there.

Hugo Stiglitz

heyday30 wrote: »

Mg I can't hold down a job either at the moment. Had to leave my last one.
As Jimmy said it nearly killed me also.

But I accept it now for the time being. I hope to get back into employment at some stage but it will be part time and something suitable. Have a way to go before that.

Ur not alone mate. We'll get there.

You'll get there H.

TheBeardedLady

Hi everyone. I'm not really sure where to post but does anyone know of any support groups for relatives of depression sufferers in Dublin? I can only find one through AWARE but as this person can't drive and is looking after a young child, they can't get to it (they live in North County Dublin). If anyone knows of any groups, I'd be very grateful if you could PM me with info. Thanks a million, guys.

Edit: Mods, could you post this wherever you feel would be more suitable if this forum is not? Thanks!

Euphoria Intensifies

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Hi everyone. I'm not really sure where to post but does anyone know of any support groups for relatives of depression sufferers in Dublin? I can only find one through AWARE but as this person can't drive and is looking after a young child, they can't get to it (they live in North County Dublin). If anyone knows of any groups, I'd be very grateful if you could PM me with info. Thanks a million, guys.

Edit: Mods, could you post this wherever you feel would be more suitable if this forum is not? Thanks!

I've done some digging and I can't seem to find anything other than an Aware meeting on Tuesday evenings in St Patricks's Hospital (I assume this is the one you say your friend is unable to get to). I think I remember hearing that Grow did meetings for relatives too though, and they seem to have a meeting in Balbriggan on Mondays at 2pm (although this one doesn't seem to be for relatives). It might be an idea for them to contact Grow about that, just in case relatives are able to attend as well.

TheBeardedLady

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

I've done some digging and I can't seem to find anything other than an Aware meeting on Tuesday evenings in St Patricks's Hospital (I assume this is the one you say your friend is unable to get to). I think I remember hearing that Grow did meetings for relatives too though, and they seem to have a meeting in Balbriggan on Mondays at 2pm (although this one doesn't seem to be for relatives). It might be an idea for them to contact Grow about that, just in case relatives are able to attend as well.

Thanks Euphoria. I got similar results myself and have already contacted Grow about that meeting. It'd be ideal as she lives in the neighbouring town. Just thought there might be other groups that are not so well publicised. Thanks for having a dig. Much appreciated.

Euphoria Intensifies

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Thanks Euphoria. I got similar results myself and have already contacted Grow about that meeting. It'd be ideal as she lives in the neighbouring town. Just thought there might be other groups that are not so well publicised. Thanks for having a dig. Much appreciated.

The only other thing I can think of is for them to get in touch with a local Family Resource Centre or community development project to see if they run anything or know of any local groups.

Gremlinertia

Hi there a crowd called turntome have online support from what I can remember.. May be worth checking out. There's information on a thread at the top of this page too.

TheBeardedLady

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

The only other thing I can think of is for them to get in touch with a local Family Resource Centre or community development project to see if they run anything or know of any local groups.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hi there a crowd called turntome have online support from what I can remember.. May be worth checking out. There's information on a thread at the top of this page too.

Thanks very much to both of you. Really worried about this particular person but I'm not in the country so limited in what I can do. Thanks again.

carzony

Well i'm back after a few weeks trying to move on from my anxiety issues..

i'm in a bad situation again though, Today I had two very bad panic attacks that lasted hours:( so much so I was as breathless as i can ever remember..



might need to go back on pills if it keeps up....

heyday30

Sorry to hear that carzony. Might be worth a trip to the doc If things don't improve. Panic attacks are horrible.

heyday30

Funny how quickly your mood can dip.

greenfrogs

carzony wrote: »

Well i'm back after a few weeks trying to move on from my anxiety issues..

i'm in a bad situation again though, Today I had two very bad panic attacks that lasted hours:( so much so I was as breathless as i can ever remember..



might need to go back on pills if it keeps up....

That sounds awful. Anxiety and depression seem to hang around like a bad smell no matter how much we try to outrun them. Any idea what triggered the attacks?

mg1982

carzony wrote: »

Well i'm back after a few weeks trying to move on from my anxiety issues..

i'm in a bad situation again though, Today I had two very bad panic attacks that lasted hours:( so much so I was as breathless as i can ever remember..



might need to go back on pills if it keeps up....

There are plenty more meds you can try with the lexapro not working.

Hope it passes soon.

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

Well i'm back after a few weeks trying to move on from my anxiety issues..

i'm in a bad situation again though, Today I had two very bad panic attacks that lasted hours:( so much so I was as breathless as i can ever remember..



might need to go back on pills if it keeps up....

Sorry to hear that my friend, I really am.

greenfrogs

Feeling a bit muddled at the moment. I'm a bit all over the place. Maybe I just need to snap out of it. Sometimes it's difficult to know an anxious feeling from a regular feeling. I feel less socially anxious than I have in years. However I'm still a bit down about a social situation that happened last night. Maybe everyone feels this way. I'm still over analysing it in my head. I feel left out and that nobody likes me and that they talk about me behind my back.
I had plans with a friend tonight but I cancelled. I don't have the energy for her. Really we have little to talk about. All she talks about is work. I don't know the people she works with so it gets old really quick. She also tends to agree with whatever I say. I thought at the start we had loads in common but if someone just agrees with you then it's annoying. I feel mean but I feel that I would be in a worse mood if I went.
I want real friends who I can rely on, discuss problems and have a good time together.

Roquentin

greenfrogs wrote: »

Feeling a bit muddled at the moment. I'm a bit all over the place. Maybe I just need to snap out of it. Sometimes it's difficult to know an anxious feeling from a regular feeling. I feel less socially anxious than I have in years. However I'm still a bit down about a social situation that happened last night. Maybe everyone feels this way. I'm still over analysing it in my head. I feel left out and that nobody likes me and that they talk about me behind my back.
I had plans with a friend tonight but I cancelled. I don't have the energy for her. Really we have little to talk about. All she talks about is work. I don't know the people she works with so it gets old really quick. She also tends to agree with whatever I say. I thought at the start we had loads in common but if someone just agrees with you then it's annoying. I feel mean but I feel that I would be in a worse mood if I went.
I want real friends who I can rely on, discuss problems and have a good time together.

im not trying to be rude, but cant go into these situations trying to make friends because you wont make any. its the same as a bloke who goes into a date trying to impress a woman and ends up not impressing her. the reason being because he consciously distracts his unconscious mind from working

i see the same mechanism played out in a job interviews. a man or woman approaches the situation in that he or she will try to impress retrospective employers. they try so hard to impress them that they end up not impressing them. the more one consciously tries to chase success, the more they it eludes them.

so in your case, you dont go out to make new friends or to have a good time. you just go out and expect nothing. through doing this you relax and it becomes easier for people to socialize with.

its a paradox of hedonism. the more you try to plan the moment, the less you enjoy it because success/happiness is often unconscious. one cannot consciously say they will now be happy at a given moment. i cant sit here and say i will be happy for the next two hours. This is what people invariably do. they i will be happy for the duration of this event and thus psychologically distract themselves from performing.

you have to sort of go into situations not expecting much. this in turn enables your unconscious to operate properly.

Hugo Stiglitz

Roquentin wrote: »

im not trying to be rude, but cant go into these situations trying to make friends because you wont make any. its the same as a bloke who goes into a date trying to impress a woman and ends up not impressing her. the reason being because he consciously distracts his unconscious mind from working

i see the same mechanism played out in a job interviews. a man or woman approaches the situation in that he or she will try to impress retrospective employers. they try so hard to impress them that they end up not impressing them. the more one consciously tries to chase success, the more they it eludes them.

so in your case, you dont go out to make new friends or to have a good time. you just go out and expect nothing. through doing this you relax and it becomes easier for people to socialize with.

its a paradox of hedonism. the more you try to plan the moment, the less you enjoy it because success/happiness is often unconscious. one cannot consciously say they will now be happy at a given moment. i cant sit here and say i will be happy for the next two hours. This is what people invariably do. they i will be happy for the duration of this event and thus psychologically distract themselves from performing.

you have to sort of go into situations not expecting much. this in turn enables your unconscious to operate properly.

I can see where you're coming from R and it does kinda make sense. It can be hard to actually do though. I'd personally have trouble doing it, like it would seem to go against how the active mind would work.