Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Euphoria Intensifies

Got 29 in that quiz. Thought I'd get higher Im generally very good at sensing/reading people's emotions, but I guess it's a lot easier in person.

Hope everyone's having an okay day.

greenfrogs

heyday30 wrote: »

I'd be a little more confident online than in reality. Probably not a good thing.

Be very conscious of " fitting in" and being liked.
Don't have many people in my life just my family.

Yah I'm more confident online as well. I would be considered quiet in real life. I don't have many people in my life. I have a lot of acquaintances but not friends. It actually suits me at the moment. It means I can go out or stay in depending on how I feel. I suppose I should be aware of the long term consequences of that.

heyday30

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

*hugs* You have us here. And when you are back to your old self and have lots of friends, we'll be your most exclusive entourage!

Thanks. Some day we will all arrange a boards beers or something.

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

Thanks. Some day we will all arrange a boards beers or something.

Thats a good idea actually. I wouldnt mind meeting up with people on here cos your a great bunch. Would have to be somewhere central like Athlone thought lol.

greenfrogs

I wonder though how many would turn up. A few of us have social anxiety and I'd say we are fairly spread out throughout the country.

Hugo Stiglitz

IIRC it was done a couple of years back but not many went. I punked out of it myself.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

I wonder though how many would turn up. A few of us have social anxiety and I'd say we are fairly spread out throughout the country.

Thats true, im generally quiet in real life too, always afraid i will embarass myself because of social anxiousness.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

IIRC it was done a couple of years back but not many went. I punked out of it myself.

Was it people from this thread or a different one?

heyday30

just a thought. I know would be very difficult. I'm a great one for not thinking ideas through .

And mg athlone? What a liberty

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

just a thought. I know would be very difficult. I'm a great one for not thinking ideas through .

And mg athlete? !? What a liberty

We will have to drag you out of tipp some way H.

greenfrogs

It's a good idea though. Especially if people live in Dublin so there more chance of a few of us being from there.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Was it people from this thread or a different one?

This one yeah.

heyday30

mg1982 wrote: »

We will have to drag you out of tipp some way H.

Never! :P
BTW totally meant athlone not athlete :o

Yeah gf it would be nice.
sometime sure ya never know.

I'd nominate hugo's gaff in deise land

Hugo Stiglitz

heyday30 wrote: »

I'd nominate hugo's gaff in deise land

Don't you dare!

Roquentin

not trying to derail your party but i wouldnt be advising meeting up. the power of anonymity which you have on this website must not be underestimated. we dont fully know who we are. what happens when you put a group of people into a situation is that initially they are all nice to each other, but then after a while they start to segregate and gossip about the various people in various groups.

now if you are a person who fears what others may think of you, this will not end well. you will probably have to stop posting not just on this thread but the forum on the whole. segregation will happen. it is human nature to do so. this has been shown to happen even in those meet ups for alcoholism or depression. one or two or three people will get along better than others and so someone gets left out, further making them feel inferior.

one also has to allow for the fact that what you intend happening and what does happen (as in if you meet up) can be two different things. So people will have high anticipation for the meeting in question and then it wont go as intended because you are dealing with other people and people are unpredictable.

furthermore as i have already mentioned, that you are a good poster on here does not mean you will be a good speaker in the real world. on here you are given time to consciously think of an answer. in the real world you rely on your unconscious to respond to people. thus there would be a great disparity between peoples online persona and their real life persona.

if you cherish what you have on this thread, i would be against meeting up. but that is just my opinion and the opinion of another is redundant

NicoleW85

Roquentin wrote:

not trying to derail your party but i wouldnt be advising meeting up. the power of anonymity which you have on this website must not be underestimated. we dont fully know who we are. what happens when you put a group of people into a situation is that initially they are all nice to each other, but then after a while they start to segregate and gossip about the various people in various groups.

now if you are a person who fears what others may think of you, this will not end well. you will probably have to stop posting not just on this thread but the forum on the whole. segregation will happen. it is human nature to do so. this has been shown to happen even in those meet ups for alcoholism or depression. one or two or three people will get along better than others and so someone gets left out, further making them feel inferior.

one also has to allow for the fact that what you intend happening and what does happen (as in if you meet up) can be two different things. So people will have high anticipation for the meeting in question and then it wont go as intended because you are dealing with other people and people are unpredictable.

furthermore as i have already mentioned, that you are a good poster on here does not mean you will be a good speaker in the real world. on here you are given time to consciously think of an answer. in the real world you rely on your unconscious to respond to people. thus there would be a great disparity between peoples online persona and their real life persona.

if you cherish what you have on this thread, i would be against meeting up. but that is just my opinion and the opinion of another is redundant

Party pooper!
It makes sense. In any other circumstances it would be great, but there's no denying we are a fragile bunch plus I'm in donegal - nobody would come this far haha

Gremlinertia

Feeling bloody ph1te between illness and bereavement most of this month can sod off.

Gremlinertia

Feeling bloody sh1te between illness and bereavement most of this month can sod off.

Euphoria Intensifies

Ah crap Grem, sorry to hear that. Big hugs to you.

I'm pretty much the same person online as offline. Just as argumentative anyway, although boards doesn't tend to see that side of me too often

Roquentin

NicoleW85 wrote: »

Party pooper!
It makes sense. In any other circumstances it would be great, but there's no denying we are a fragile bunch plus I'm in donegal - nobody would come this far haha

only fragile in a sense that some part of our (myself included) id, ego or super ego isnt properly developed and that is why we feel stress from life, namely other people.

i mean, everyone feels stress, particularly from other people, but they are better able to handle that stress than someone else. we automatically assume that only we are stricken with anxiety or depression. but that isnt true. i can guarantee that everyone in any job feels stress at some point, but they are able to cope with it better. thats the difference. its not that they dont feel stress, they just cope with it better.

the last place i worked, everyone was talking about everyone and most were able to handle it. of course some cant, myself included. the opposite then is people who are antisocial or narcissistic and completely lack empathy and id much rather be worried about what people think of me than be apathetic because the most dangerous people alive are apathetic in nature.

NicoleW85

Something has just clicked with me... I've been a habitual 'job hopper' ever since I left school. In the past 10 years I've had about 8 jobs - some because of moving around the country & others because things were getting tough either with colleagues or I just couldn't handle added responsibility! I never went to university because the idea of staying in 1 job my whole life scared me. I always have to keep my options open and have multiple interests....weird!!

mg1982

NicoleW85 wrote: »

Something has just clicked with me... I've been a habitual 'job hopper' ever since I left school. In the past 10 years I've had about 8 jobs - some because of moving around the country & others because things were getting tough either with colleagues or I just couldn't handle added responsibility! I never went to university because the idea of staying in 1 job my whole life scared me. I always have to keep my options open and have multiple interests....weird!!

It can be hard to commit to things when your moods are unstable. I have been in lots of jobs too since i left school but never felt settled in any of them.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

It can be hard to commit to things when your moods are unstable. I have been in lots of jobs too since i left school but never felt settled in any of them.

Yah same here. Even when I had friends I always fell out with them. It's a pattern throughout my life. I'm very unsettled. I liked leaving no roots. It made it easier to avoid people and my life in general. I often thought if I died would there be anybody at my funersl besides my family and their friends. The answer was very few if any. Kinda depressing. I feel like I'm putting roots down now though. It's hard though. It's easier to run from your problems than to face them.

cannotcope

greenfrogs wrote: »

Yah same here. Even when I had friends I always fell out with them. It's a pattern throughout my life. I'm very unsettled. I liked leaving no roots. It made it easier to avoid people and my life in general. I often thought if I died would there be anybody at my funersl besides my family and their friends. The answer was very few if any. Kinda depressing. I feel like I'm putting roots down now though. It's hard though. It's easier to run from your problems than to face them.

does it not scare you being alone?

Hugo Stiglitz

cannotcope wrote: »

does it not scare you being alone?

For me, it scares me greatly. I thinks it's a big part of my issues maybe.

How about you, friend?

cannotcope

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

For me, it scares me greatly. I thinks it's a big part of my issues maybe.

How about you, friend?

yes see my thread in pi re girl

greenfrogs

cannotcope wrote: »

does it not scare you being alone?

Yes at the same time I was incredibly lonely. I just found it difficult to interact with people. I was so ashamed of my life that it further isolated me. Loneliness can do terrible things to a person.

NicoleW85

I'm married (happily, may I add), but feel very alone. My husband is all I have for company and he can't be by my side day in, day out. My closest friends live in Wicklow/Wexford & I don't get to see them nearly enough. We are both 'blow ins' to donegal and it's my biggest regret moving here, as lovely as it is! Making plans to move to Wicklow but don't know when it'll happen as both of us need work before we can go plus rent is soooo expensive over there, it's not easy finding somewhere within our budget. But I can only take it a day at a time and hope for the best. But I'm
Just so go damned bored!!!

Hugo Stiglitz

NicoleW85 wrote: »

I'm married (happily, may I add), but feel very alone. My husband is all I have for company and he can't be by my side day in, day out. My closest friends live in Wicklow/Wexford & I don't get to see them nearly enough. We are both 'blow ins' to donegal and it's my biggest regret moving here, as lovely as it is! Making plans to move to Wicklow but don't know when it'll happen as both of us need work before we can go plus rent is soooo expensive over there, it's not easy finding somewhere within our budget. But I can only take it a day at a time and hope for the best. But I'm
Just so go damned bored!!!

You sound so lucky to have each other there Nicole.

Hopefully ye will find work and good rent back home soon.

NicoleW85

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

You sound so lucky to have each other there Nicole.

Hopefully ye will find work and good rent back home soon.

Haha best part about it is, I'm from Antrim & he's from Cork, but Wicklow is where we wanna be Thanks - if it's meant to be it'll happen