Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

kronsington

Queen-Mise wrote: »

Run, stay far away from them. Jeez you had some damn toxic friends (and I use the word 'friends' in the widest possible sense - frienemies might be closer.)

All the stuff you said is manageable - but it takes guts to face your thinking and change it.


EDIT: For some practical help.

Breathe

Ban the words - 'should', 'ought', 'only' from your vocabulary. All these words are negative and put yourself down. It was only.... Own what 'it' is - don't minimise it with 'only'.
I really should do.... (Either do or don't - if you wanted to do it, it would be done
And finally 'ought' - same as others.

And also banish the word 'sorry' from your vocabulary. The Irish have a terrible habit for this word. Say 'pardon' if you didn't hear something, and 'excuse me' for physical situations. I always found when I said the word 'sorry' - I was nearly apologising for my existence on this earth. If you need to make amends for something - then simply say 'I apologies for x/doing y/whatever....'.


Really become aware of the self-talk, and how you talk to yourself. It is truly possible to drive yourself stark raving mad.

Thanks for this... That's some good practical advice and I can apply all of that To my daily life. It one way it feels good to finally try and get to the root of my anxiety problems and in another it's very daunting.. Just trying to educate myself on what it's all about and learn how to cope as best I can.. Depression also runs in my family and I definitely have a few of the main symptoms which have really intensified over the last few years.. Tried counselling a few years ago but I didn't "click" with the guy, his style was to let me do most of the talking and while I am a good talker and quite articulate I didn't get anything from the sessions.. I am very open to CBT and will explore it when I can afford to do so.. Both my parents have been into St Pats and John of Gods in the last two years so I'm trying to learn all this to help with what they are going through as well as myself

CZ 453

cloud493 wrote: »

Yeah, and the fact I was really struggling with the work.

Best of luck with it this year

alaskayoung

Hey guys, sorry for the double post but do any of you take, or have taken Lexapro in the past and have had any positive/negative experiences with it? My doctor has recommended that I start taking it in conjunction with counselling but I'm wary of the cost and side-effects, particularly weight gain. Not looking for medical advice here, just personal experiences! Thanks so much, I really appreciate it

is mise spartacus

I know people who take lexapro and they're extremely tired all the time..

alaskayoung

is mise spartacus wrote: »

I know people who take lexapro and they're extremely tired all the time..

Thanks Yeah, I'm kinda concerned about that and the impact it'll have on school.. Can't screw up another Leaving Cert!

Dr.Alucard

alaskayoung wrote: »

Hey guys, sorry for the double post but do any of you take, or have taken Lexapro in the past and have had any positive/negative experiences with it? My doctor has recommended that I start taking it in conjunction with counselling but I'm wary of the cost and side-effects, particularly weight gain. Not looking for medical advice here, just personal experiences! Thanks so much, I really appreciate it

Different people have different reactions to medications, i tried at least 4 before i found the right one for me. so the only way you'l know is if you try what the doctor gave you and see. if they dont agree with you, ask the doc for an alternative one that you find, does agree with you.

is mise spartacus

alaskayoung wrote: »

Thanks Yeah, I'm kinda concerned about that and the impact it'll have on school.. Can't screw up another Leaving Cert!

Then again, everyone is different. Different people different side effects

cloud493

shezer wrote: »

Best of luck with it this year

Thanks

Dr.Alucard

shezer wrote: »

You were lucky to catch on to it early in the college year. I have had years of college ruined by anxiety. Best of luck with college this year

Im sorry to hear that shezer. did you complete the course how did you get on?

Queen-Mise

kronsington wrote: »

I've always ruminated on the most trivial of things and always over analyse and over think.. Find it very hard to just focus on the present.. Mind is pre occupied with the past and always worried about the future.. It's a vicious seemingly never ending cycle.. I also have a negative trait of constantly comparing myself to others in every way which really gets me in a spin

There is a skill in letting things go. It doesn't happen itself or evolve into nice thinking:D You actively have to do it. Stop the washing machine thinking - make a decision that you are taking control of your thinking and stop letting all the habits that have developed fcuk up your mood every day.
When those circles of thinking start - physically replace it with something else. Some of the tactics I use with that pre-occupation with past/future is to physically put other stuff into my head.

So I read series of books and think about the characters/plots. The same with TV shows - start physically thinking about how brilliant Matthew McConnaughey was in True Detective or watch some of the funniest moments of Graham Norton.
Feel good clips on YouTube also do the job - be it exceptional auditions for really weird talent shows around the globe, or dogs wearing socks.

Plan the dinner your are going to make - think about chopping the onions, and what herbs/spices go with the style of food you are making.

Realistically at the beginning - you might only stop the circles for 30 seconds/5 minutes/20 minutes. But keep at it and you will get slowly replace the thinking. This is where counselling really comes into play - you can explore the stuff at this point that knocks you off track.

Esel

margarite wrote: »

Can someone help me pse a close relative died nearly a year ago on the 23rd September a year any suggestions how I can get through this time please?

Sometimes it can be therapeutic to write a letter to them. If they were loving, tell them. If they were good, tell them. If you loved them, tell them. Relate specific instances to them.

Equally, if they were cold / cruel / unloving / hurtful / hateful, tell them with specifics and how these affected you. Don't hold back!

If you have regrets about anything you may have done / not done / said etc., apologise as appropriate.

If it is just the upcoming anniversary of their death that you find upsetting, look on it as a time to remember all the good times you shared. When you laughed together; were close etc.

Hope this helps.

BetterThanThou

Hi, I remember posting in the old thread about a year ago. I'm 17 and I was diagnosed about depression about a year ago. Over the last 2 years or so, a few people I saw as very close to me have stopped talking to me, for seemingly no reason, seemingly just ditching me for others they'd rather spend their time with. Around December of last year, the person who I considered my best friend did the same thing, along with the rest of his friends, for his girlfriend. I ended up going months without seeing him before telling him I'm sick of putting up with it and not to come crawling back to me when they break up. I had been in a fight with most of my friends for reasons which I accept full responsability for, and I've sorted that out and I'm friends with most of them again. Due to this, and feeling I had no one to turn to, I spent the next 6 months or so laying in bed every single day, only getting up in the evenings to watch TV. After this, I made up with one of my friends which I was fighting for, and we've become best friends. He really helped me with the issues I had, and for about 3 months, I went without having even one episode of depression. However, now, as he's in 6th year, he's very busy with studying, we only have time to see each other 1 or maybe 2 days of the week. I've been experiencing some severe anxiety over this, I have managed to keep myself occupied practically all the time, as I'm studying myself and I have other activities to keep myself occupied, I'm terrified my friendship with him will have the same fate as the other people I considered close to me. When I think about it rationally, I know there's no signs of such a thing happening, but practically every night when I lay down to sleep, or every morning that I wake up and have a chance to have a lie in, I can't stop thinking about it, it's gotten to the point where sometimes I have absolutely no hope for the friendship lasting, in my head it seems like a fact that my friendship with him is over. The worst part is, I feel like my anxiety may be harming my friendship with him, as I've told him how I've been feeling and at points it's practically all I talk about with him, while he's a great friend, I feel like he may be getting tired of me always talking about that kind of stuff to him. I feel like I'm suffering from some severe anxiety, caused by events in the past, in the past I refused treatment for my depression, as they refused to give me any treatment without taking medication, which I refused to take, as I know those type of medications have many side effects, many of them very serious. However, this anxiety is destroying my life, I often can't even be bothered to get out of bed in the morning even though I have some study which I need to take seriously, in the last week I missed 2 out of 5 days, totally due to anxiety.
I've never been diagnosed with anxiety, but it seems to be the thing that fits the bill most, truthfully, I don't worry about anything except my relationships with people I consider close friends, I don't have a fear of dying, or being out in public, hell, I'll even perform in front of a crowd of 400 people in what's practically a speedo, while I know no one can make a medical diagnosis, would I be correct in thinking I am suffering from a form of anxiety? I feel I need to take some kind of treatment, and I need something that will work fast, I need to get my life back on track as quickly as possible, I'm assuming medication would be the best option for this, I've also been heavily considering attending counseling to deal with the underlying issues which have been causing this anxiety. Truthfully, I'm not very keen on the idea of taking medication, however I feel this is my only option at this point. Truthfully, I'm scared to go on these, I've heard stories about these types of medication which have left people walking around like emotionless zombies. Personally, I'm a very emotional person, it's part of what makes me myself, while I'd like to tone down the bad emotions, I'd like to keep all the good emotions, are anti anxiety medications likely to turn me into an emotionless zombie?

Esel

Don't be too worried about the side-effects of antidepressant medication. Most of the side-effects are temporary, and if you keep in touch with your doctor and/or pharmacist, you should be fine. Just be prepared to give the medication up to 8-12 weeks to take effect though. It might happen quicker, but don't bank on this. Some ADs are prescribed for anxiety.

However, imo you should be very cautious about regular use of any benzodiazapine anti-anxiety medication (also benzo sleeping tablets). Benzos can become addictive with prolonged use, and withdrawal can be very hard.

Dr.Alucard

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Truthfully, I'm not very keen on the idea of taking medication, however I feel this is my only option at this point. Truthfully, I'm scared to go on these, I've heard stories about these types of medication which have left people walking around like emotionless zombies. Personally, I'm a very emotional person, it's part of what makes me myself, while I'd like to tone down the bad emotions, I'd like to keep all the good emotions, are anti anxiety medications likely to turn me into an emotionless zombie?

Let me tell you about my experience with medications, I, like you, had the fears that i would become indifferent and zombie-like if i started medication, now first off i had a bad experience with the first antidpressant/anxiety medication, so much so that i flat out refused to take any other kind of medication, instead i attended counseling, but that alone wasnt enough, a year passed by really quickly and i missed my chance to go to college this time last year because i wasnt cured. Desperation led me to try more medications and i went through 3 untill i found one that worked with me instead of againsted me. It was the best move i had ever did. while i am not 100% the medicine really really helped me. I mean it was actually life changing stuff! In a good way. i genuinely wouldnt be where i am to ready to attend college tomorow if i didnt take the medicine. It wont make you a zombie/indiffernt to whats going on around you. Give it a chance. You will still be you. My only regret was i didnt take it sooner because i would have been starting my second year in college now if i did. That said differnet things work for differnt people, counseling might work for some and a combination of counseling and medication works for others. Id have a chat with your GP if i were you. Make a list of what you want to ask him before you go. he will tell you how it is and what would be best for you. You are only 17 you have a long life ahead of you.
Take charge of it and dont be a slave to anxiety.

Queen-Mise

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Truthfully, I'm scared to go on these, I've heard stories about these types of medication which have left people walking around like emotionless zombies.

There is a vast difference between the two types of meds you are talking about. I can't think of the name of the drug that really causes that 'zombie-ness' you are talking about. The people I knew that were on stuff like that weren't simply depressives or anxiety sufferers.

An analogy would be the best way to explain - it would be like giving someone a heavy dose morphine shot for a stubbed toe.

I don't mean anything mean anything negative by this BetterThanThou but educate yourself on anti-depressives, anxiety disorders. It is your ignorance within the area that is also causing your anxiety. Find out exactly what anti-depressives do? What SSRI's are and what the aim of them is? What do they do in the brain?

And on your friend. You are putting far too much importance on one person and that is not fair on him.
Friends come and go - you have learnt that already. People grow up, get different interests, develop different things that are important to them, people evolve and change.
What are you going to do next September when he is in a different part of the country to you in college?

Consciously begin to wider your social circle. Your friend at the moment cannot be your sole support in the world - that is too much pressure for anyone.

Go to your school counsellor and learn some strategies for coping with the anxiety.

kronsington

Queen-Mise wrote: »

There is a skill in letting things go. It doesn't happen itself or evolve into nice thinking:D You actively have to do it. Stop the washing machine thinking - make a decision that you are taking control of your thinking and stop letting all the habits that have developed fcuk up your mood every day.
When those circles of thinking start - physically replace it with something else. Some of the tactics I use with that pre-occupation with past/future is to physically put other stuff into my head.

So I read series of books and think about the characters/plots. The same with TV shows - start physically thinking about how brilliant Matthew McConnaughey was in True Detective or watch some of the funniest moments of Graham Norton.
Feel good clips on YouTube also do the job - be it exceptional auditions for really weird talent shows around the globe, or dogs wearing socks.

Plan the dinner your are going to make - think about chopping the onions, and what herbs/spices go with the style of food you are making.

Realistically at the beginning - you might only stop the circles for 30 seconds/5 minutes/20 minutes. But keep at it and you will get slowly replace the thinking. This is where counselling really comes into play - you can explore the stuff at this point that knocks you off track.

I get the idea of filling up space with new ideas, thoughts, hobbies, skills etc.. This is something I've been actively pursuing for a while now and I've got a list (i write a lot of lists) of things I want to do, see and achieve while I'm here.. Should have done it ages ago but just didn't for whatever reason but all these goals coincide with the move to Canada, new beginnings an all that. So I'm trying new languages, attempting to learn guitar, doing more outdoor things, reading more and lots of others... All these things are linked to my ultimate goal of trying to eliminate the constant feelings of anxiety I've had for as long as I can remember.. It's a challenge, to actually prove to myself Incan follow through with these goals and not bottle it and gain some sense of achievement..

Also , you mentioned the concept of "toxic friends", if had heard the term before but never really knew what It meant.. Did some brief reading on this today and will continue but it really nails on the head what I've been feeling with some people on my life.. I actually dread meeting one or two of these people socially now.. The insults and unsolicited patronishing advice don't really come in one on one situations, more in a group scenario and when I've called up this guy on his sneering and sniping comments about me and my life he tryys to shrug it off with "I'm just looking out for you" or "never mind what I said , I was drunk"... I can't explain why this bothers me so much.. They definitely think I'm a soft touch and basically like to undermine and belittle me fr their Own amusement under the guise of banter ( I hate that word)- and most of it so childish and petty, I am convinced one guy has a fundamental problem with me and I can say or do anything and they'll find fault and reason to chastise to scold me.. Then I get told to chill out when they can see I am not into this and when I express il don't like what's happening, i get told it's my reaction that's funny so it's a continu
ous cycle where I can't win.. Anyway I know this shouldn't bother me but it really does..

cloud493

This going to college thing isn't easy. I'm gonna be sick.

Gremlinertia

Was just goin to come on and wish those of you returning to college the best of luck.. Concentrate on slow deep breaths. I'm thinkin of you all if that helps in any little way.

Queen-Mise

kronsington wrote: »

So I'm trying new languages, attempting to learn guitar, doing more outdoor things, reading more and lots of others...

Absolutely brilliant. When the thoughts go - fill it with the stuff you like. Keep at it and I'm jealous of some of the stuff you are doing.

kronsington wrote: »

I am convinced one guy has a fundamental problem with me and I can say or do anything and they'll find fault and reason to chastise to scold me..

This guy probably does - trust your instincts. And what matter if he does hate you effing guts. You can't make someone like you, you can't make someone stop having issues with you. Although it's usually jealousy in situations like this.
If you did tackle it head on - it would be pretty unlikely you would get a satisfactory explanation or an apology for his behaviour. He wouldn't recognise it as being harsh, only a bit of slagging.


This is where you look after yourself. You don't hang around asbestos pits, why hang around toxic people:P

Queen-Mise

cloud493 wrote: »

This going to college thing isn't easy. I'm gonna be sick.

Slow deep breaths.

If you have any mint sweets peppermint teabags bring them them with you. Mint calms down the tummy.

Rescue Remedy, or maybe something lavender for the head.


Just take your time, if it is your first year, then lots of others in the same boat.
Even if you are not able to start a few conversation - keep your body language open, and a half smile on your face so people at least will be encouraged to talk to you.
And for a damn easy trick - talk to the mature students, especially the older women they will want to mother you :cool:

Dr.Alucard

cloud493 wrote: »

This going to college thing isn't easy. I'm gonna be sick.

Its very hard for me too cloud, hang in there man, this is the hardest test for me yet, but bear this in mind, the first couple of days are gonna be tough, but hang in there once you get settled it will be grand. :-)

handbagmad

Life, why are you so difficult!
Robbing Peter to pay Paul.

You never give me a break.

I hate you

Hugo Stiglitz

Eye of the tiger Cloud! You are well capable of this.

Dr.Alucard

How did you get on today cloud? I didn't realise im doing a course that is heavily involved with interacting with my classmates. We had to go around and introduce ourselves to each other because we are going to be doing a lot of group work throughout the year. The blood drained out of my face and i went pure white. But got through it. Was terrified inside but didnt show it outside, hopefully once i get to know my classmates that will disappear i hope the next two weeks go quickly!! Howd you fare out cloud. Hope all went good!!!

cloud493

Aye it was alright. We had some ice breakers that were pretty awful, but I left at 1 cos the last 3 hours were stuff I'd already covered last year so. How was it for yourself?

Roquentin

Dr.Alucard wrote: »

Let me tell you about my experience with medications, I, like you, had the fears that i would become indifferent and zombie-like if i started medication, now first off i had a bad experience with the first antidpressant/anxiety medication, so much so that i flat out refused to take any other kind of medication, instead i attended counseling, but that alone wasnt enough, a year passed by really quickly and i missed my chance to go to college this time last year because i wasnt cured. Desperation led me to try more medications and i went through 3 untill i found one that worked with me instead of againsted me. It was the best move i had ever did. while i am not 100% the medicine really really helped me. I mean it was actually life changing stuff! In a good way. i genuinely wouldnt be where i am to ready to attend college tomorow if i didnt take the medicine. It wont make you a zombie/indiffernt to whats going on around you. Give it a chance. You will still be you. My only regret was i didnt take it sooner because i would have been starting my second year in college now if i did. That said differnet things work for differnt people, counseling might work for some and a combination of counseling and medication works for others. Id have a chat with your GP if i were you. Make a list of what you want to ask him before you go. he will tell you how it is and what would be best for you. You are only 17 you have a long life ahead of you.
Take charge of it and dont be a slave to anxiety.

zyprexa really knocks you out though. Whenever i take zyprexa youd swear i was doped up. My mind is grand, but my speech and movement become lethargic. Having said that the other meds i am on, i couldnt live without. But the zyprexa i dont know. I wouldnt be going for interviews and be on it

Dr.Alucard

cloud493 wrote: »

Aye it was alright. We had some ice breakers that were pretty awful, but I left at 1 cos the last 3 hours were stuff I'd already covered last year so. How was it for yourself?

Good on ya man! Twas ok, im at my most anxious when we are doing the ice breakers as you say. Hopefully these next couple of weeks of settling in go quickly.
Glad you did good today too, do you feel better then you did this morning?

Mars Bar

Icebreaker exercises are just the worst. They are terrifying even for those who don't suffer from anxiety!

Dr.Alucard

shezer wrote: »

No. I have been unable to sit an exam due to anxiety. I'll be giving the meds a good go and i'll see how I get on

Good on ya shezer!! I can honestly put my hand on my heart and say if i didnt have my meds, i probably wouldn't have made it through the day. Although today made me see that im not quite there yet. But very nearly :-)

handbagmad

I cut this evening. First time in months. Couldn't cope, some relief wrong relief though
Disappointed