Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

NicoleW85

Hey, surprisingly chilled tonight compared to yesterday (i was hormonal, armed and dangerous) ok so maybe not THAT bad, but I felt it at times haha. I'm about to read some James Patterson before bed. Some light reading

NicoleW85

And how are you???

scrimshanker

Glad to hear it! Good to hear you're able to roll with feeling better and make the most of it.

I'm okay, a touch bored. Got a start on making sugar decorations for a cake I've to do this week, glad to have started it but stressing over how many roses to make, will the colour scheme work, will the cake be stiff enough to not collapse and look crap.

NicoleW85

Oh is it a wedding cake? See that's bravery right there. I'm scared to bake a cake, never mind decorate the thing and make it all pretty n stuff. Sure didn't I buy icing sugar, with the best of intentions to make one...that's coming on 2 years ago now and the box remains unopened:D
Have you made one like this befor or is it totally new by way of design?

scrimshanker

NicoleW85 wrote: »

Oh is it a wedding cake? See that's bravery right there. I'm scared to bake a cake, never mind decorate the thing and make it all pretty n stuff. Sure didn't I buy icing sugar, with the best of intentions to make one...that's coming on 2 years ago now and the box remains unopened:D
Have you made one like this befor or is it totally new by way of design?

No it's just a birthday cake but I've to use a different type of cake that isn't as stiff as what I normally use. There's loads of groups on Facebook for decorating, I'm in one that's really helpful, people always answer questions and give tips on how to do stuff. Otherwise I wouldn't even have a clue where to start!

NicoleW85

Fair play for doing it. Especially the flowers - it looks like such intricate work but I'd say there's great satisfaction when you have it all ready to go and you can admire your handy work. I must give it a go soon, for the craic

Euphoria Intensifies

Oh that's so cool Scrim! I love the artistry behind decorating cakes. I'm a terrible baker so I wouldn't even try to attempt it :P

Had a pretty crappy day, but got up and showered (albeit at 8pm), so that is a win for today.

What self-care things did you all do for yourself today? Still 20 mins left if you haven't done anything!

scrimshanker

Tbh I'm still trying to figure it all out, but it looks okay while I'm figuring!

Have not done a damned thing for self care except a cuppa tea and toasted sandwich (with salt on ). Suppose technically I got dressed, albeit into a tracksuit. Still recovering a bit from my night on the tiles. Have to reply to someone who spent the night chatting me up :-/ He texted me there this evening. Argh.

NicoleW85

I had to rest a lot today as I've had back trouble for a day and a half now. So I spent a lot of time in either bed or on the sofa, looking after myself and not having to worry about cooking

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Tbh I'm still trying to figure it all out, but it looks okay while I'm figuring!

Have not done a damned thing for self care except a cuppa tea and toasted sandwich (with salt on ). Suppose technically I got dressed, albeit into a tracksuit. Still recovering a bit from my night on the tiles. Have to reply to someone who spent the night chatting me up :-/ He texted me there this evening. Argh.

What's wrong with a tracksuit? I'm always in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Its comfy so I don't care.

Do you have any interest in that guy?

I've decided to give online dating a proper go. I never really get chatted up when I am out. Sometimes I am comfortable with the way I look. However if I see guys giving other females a second look but I don't get one, I can really annoyed and down. It happened the other night but, I managed to pick myself back up.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

What's wrong with a tracksuit? I'm always in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Its comfy so I don't care.

Do you have any interest in that guy?

I've decided to give online dating a proper go. I never really get chatted up when I am out. Sometimes I am comfortable with the way I look. However if I see guys giving other females a second look but I don't get one, I can really annoyed and down. It happened the other night but, I managed to pick myself back up.

I just don't feel properly dressed is all, especially when I haven't showered and washed my hair.

I'm not sure about him tbh, he's good fun and nice looking. He's a good bit older than me, and my friends all pulled me away from him at the end of the night and packed me off home in a taxi. I'll have a worry about it for a while I think

greenfrogs

If I change out of my pjs then I consider that a good day. I'm just lazy is all. I need a shower as well. I had a night out as well over the weekend. I just get so tired easily these days.

You have good friends. Also maybe they pulled you away as you were after some drink, rather than them not liking the guy. It's great that you had a night out and some fun. We all need that from time to time.

scrimshanker

Good point gf, hadn't considered that they may have just thought I was too drunk for anything other than my own bed. Thanks

greenfrogs

I was at a wedding at the weekend and I realise that I really want to find the right guy for me. I know I have to put myself out there which can be tough. I suppose it's good that I have therapy to help me through these times.

I still feel a little bit lost at the moment though. I know I still have social anxiety and can retreat into myself. On fb I see people with more likes on their photos than I have friends. I know I haven't retained friends from past areas of my life. The wedding was hard as I saw people there that I used to know. I'm annoyed that I didn't talk to these people but, at the same time I didn't want to speak to them. I thought they might bring up some topics I didn't want to talk about.

NicoleW85

Don't think anything about the amount of likes some people have - if you asked those people how many of their 500+ fb friends could they sit down with and talk openly about their problems, I bet the answer would be staggeringly low in comparison!! Some people just like to look popular so just you make sure to value the friends you've got

Hugo Stiglitz

Don't feel able for today.

Gremlinertia

I can't wait to get home, very tired and finding it hard to function..

veganrun

Kind of on a downer. Not looking forward to starting my new job which I should be. My car is giving trouble too and it's proving hard to get the part needed as the car is old.

Been off for 3 weeks and still have another week off but can't stop thinking about starting this new job.

Kind of realised again yesterday that I'm never enthusiastic about anything. Have been that way for a long time too.

Also have to go back to see the doctor. She said to come back after a month but that will be 2 weeks into my new job and I don't really want to have to ask for a half day etc already so I'm thinking about going to see her this week even though its only been 2 weeks.

Stupid stuff really bothers me at times.

greenfrogs

If you want to go this week, then go to your doctor. I can relate to the never being enthusiastic about anything. Things which should of brought some happiness never did. It's not a nice way to live.

Hugo Stiglitz

Today was fairly rough in parts. I only got about 3 hours sleep last night due to having a late lie in yesterday.

Was put on something new today in work and my head just wasn't in it, plus my emotions and anxiety were all over the place too, far worse than normal. ****ing Mondays.

NicoleW85

I was only going to sleep when you posted earlier this morning - was it a full moon or something last night cos my brain just wouldn't shut off?!?
Sorry to hear the day didn't get any better for you. Do you find music helps you relax a bit? Maybe you could try it before you go to sleep tonight well done for getting through the day

Hugo Stiglitz

NicoleW85 wrote: »

I was only going to sleep when you posted earlier this morning - was it a full moon or something last night cos my brain just wouldn't shut off?!?
Sorry to hear the day didn't get any better for you. Do you find music helps you relax a bit? Maybe you could try it before you go to sleep tonight well done for getting through the day

I'll head up to bed about 6 and try to unwind for a few hours before sleep. Yeah I love a bit of music.

Sorry to hear that you were awake at that ungodly hour Nicole. Anything on your mind there, friend?

NicoleW85

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

Sorry to hear that you were awake at that ungodly hour Nicole. Anything on your mind there, friend?

I think I went to bed too early but instead of trying to sleep (lights off, phone off) I did the complete opposite- then when I was done with my phone I read my book until I felt sleepy
At that point my brain was too active so whe. I closed my eyes they just sprung back open again haha

Hugo Stiglitz

NicoleW85 wrote: »

I think I went to bed too early but instead of trying to sleep (lights off, phone off) I did the complete opposite- then when I was done with my phone I read my book until I felt sleepy
At that point my brain was too active so whe. I closed my eyes they just sprung back open again haha

There's nothing worse than sleeping issues like that. It can seriously mess you up for the following day.

Hopefully tonight you'll have no such troubles.

alaskayoung

Down down down Just finished weaning myself off the antidepressant I was on last week that was giving me heart problems and although I no longer have an irregular heartbeat or chest pain, my mood has really started to plummet again. Didn't think I'd feel any different at all to be honest because of the mood stabilizer and also because I still find it hard to accept that your happiness can be controlled by a little pill but just feeling miserable for no reason again..
Seeing my psychiatrist again on Thursday so I suppose I can speak to her about it. I feel like a bit of a drama queen talking about feeling low now though when still it's nothing compared to a few weeks ago when I literally spent all day every day thinking about killing myself. I don't even remember what "normal" feels like though so maybe this is just me, I don't know.
She's been talking about replacing it with Effexor but I've heard terrible stories about withdrawals from it if you miss a doss or are trying to get off it. I don't really like the sound of it but I'm running out of options as this is the 7th one I've tried in 6 months and I just can't seem to handle any of them at all even though they do seem to work for me mood-wise. Starting to wonder if this means I'm going to have to be taking medication for the rest of my life now. I feel guilty too because all of the team are working so hard with me and giving me so much time and I feel like I'm letting them down by not continually improving. I don't know. Feel worthless.
Hope you're all okay today. Been reading how some of you have been suffering pretty badly with panic attacks lately and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I've only ever had two in my life but they were absolutely horrible experiences, I can't imagine having to deal with that on a regular basis. You're all fighters.

Hugo Stiglitz

alaskayoung wrote: »

Down down down Just finished weaning myself off the antidepressant I was on last week that was giving me heart problems and although I no longer have an irregular heartbeat or chest pain, my mood has really started to plummet again. Didn't think I'd feel any different at all to be honest because of the mood stabilizer and also because I still find it hard to accept that your happiness can be controlled by a little pill but just feeling miserable for no reason again..
Seeing my psychiatrist again on Thursday so I suppose I can speak to her about it. I feel like a bit of a drama queen talking about feeling low now though when still it's nothing compared to a few weeks ago when I literally spent all day every day thinking about killing myself. I don't even remember what "normal" feels like though so maybe this is just me, I don't know.
She's been talking about replacing it with Effexor but I've heard terrible stories about withdrawals from it if you miss a doss or are trying to get off it. I don't really like the sound of it but I'm running out of options as this is the 7th one I've tried in 6 months and I just can't seem to handle any of them at all even though they do seem to work for me mood-wise. Starting to wonder if this means I'm going to have to be taking medication for the rest of my life now. I feel guilty too because all of the team are working so hard with me and giving me so much time and I feel like I'm letting them down by not continually improving. I don't know. Feel worthless.
Hope you're all okay today. Been reading how some of you have been suffering pretty badly with panic attacks lately and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I've only ever had two in my life but they were absolutely horrible experiences, I can't imagine having to deal with that on a regular basis. You're all fighters.

Sorry to hear of your troubles there, Alaska.

You're not worthless. Not one bit. This situation isn't your choice and it's not your fault.

You must remember that you only tend to hear the bad stories about medication such as Effexor. You never really hear the successes. Who knows, it could very well be the wonder drug for you.

timecurve12

Question; does anyone else have an insatiable desire to eat all the time? Hope everyone is doing ok today!

greenfrogs

Yes, yes and yes. I just want to eat everything.

Hugo Stiglitz

timecurve12 wrote: »

Question; does anyone else have an insatiable desire to eat all the time? Hope everyone is doing ok today!

Yes. I'm a self described phat phuck.

GeneralC

Meeting my cardiologist on Wednesday regarding meds/future surgery

On a better note, I got into a degree course in Physiotherapy, but it's in Holland, so not sure if I will be able to go or not