Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

GeneralC

greenfrogs wrote: »

Yes, yes and yes. I just want to eat everything.

Sounds like your sugar levels are all over the shop.

scrimshanker

Actually since going on Lexapro I've been a fiend for sugar. Could be comfort eating, but I've never been a comfort eater. Bleugh.

greenfrogs

Half the time it is out of boredom. I could eat until I feel sick.

veganrun

greenfrogs wrote: »

If you want to go this week, then go to your doctor. I can relate to the never being enthusiastic about anything. Things which should of brought some happiness never did. It's not a nice way to live.

Think I might go this week and get it over and done with. My old prescription runs out in a few days so I was going to have to phone up at the very least to get a new one.

Just a bit ugh about this new job even though on the face of it, I should be reasonably happy as its a decent job with a decent company and a decent salary.

greenfrogs

Pay attention to how you feel. I ignored my feelings for so long. I felt I was just incredibly unhappy but it was more than that. A new job can be very difficult. Having to meet new people, learn new information etc. Share your feelings with your doctor.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Today was fairly rough in parts. I only got about 3 hours sleep last night due to having a late lie in yesterday.

Was put on something new today in work and my head just wasn't in it, plus my emotions and anxiety were all over the place too, far worse than normal. ****ing Mondays.

Sorry to hear hugo. Mondays can indeed be a downer of a day. Maybe the lack of sleep just made things that bit harder. Hope tomorrow is an improvement.

Had an appointment with the gastro doctor in hospital today. He reckons i have IBS so have to go on medication for it. Explains a lot as my stomach has been bad for a long time.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Sorry to hear hugo. Mondays can indeed be a downer of a day. Maybe the lack of sleep just made things that bit harder. Hope tomorrow is an improvement.

Had an appointment with the gastro doctor in hospital today. He reckons i have IBS so have to go on medication for it. Explains a lot as my stomach has been bad for a long time.

Thanks MG.

Fingers crossed the diagnosis and medication will sort out your stomach troubles once and for all.

carzony

I was out all day and Felt panic a few times.. Was very close to breaking down all together at times..

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

Sorry to hear hugo. Mondays can indeed be a downer of a day. Maybe the lack of sleep just made things that bit harder. Hope tomorrow is an improvement.

Had an appointment with the gastro doctor in hospital today. He reckons i have IBS so have to go on medication for it. Explains a lot as my stomach has been bad for a long time.

My doctor says I have ibs as well. It is such an annoying illness. I went on the low fodmap diet. I have recognised some food triggers for my ibs. When I avoid those foods I feel so much better. I still don't know all the triggers though.

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

I was out all day and Felt panic a few times.. Was very close to breaking down all together at times..

*bro-hugs*

I hate hearing of this affecting you so badly, C.

NicoleW85

timecurve12 wrote:

Question; does anyone else have an insatiable desire to eat all the time? Hope everyone is doing ok today!

Hell to the yeah! I self diagnosed myself with binge eating disorder and my GP didn't disagree so referred me to an ED nurse/therapist
It did naff all and I'm really struggling

NicoleW85

This evening I went to my first relaxation class - it went really well and I left feeling great. The actual class is very informal, sitting around in a circle on chairs (on the floor wouldn't work - you need the solid base of the chair for the body scan part of the meditation). I wouldn't have heard about it if I hadn't been referred to social prescription by the psychiatrist

heyday30

Very sorry to hear a lot of you kind people are having a tough time today.

Please don't be putting yourselves down. Your doing the best you can. I know it's hard not too at times.

Euphoria Intensifies

alaskayoung wrote: »

Down down down Just finished weaning myself off the antidepressant I was on last week that was giving me heart problems and although I no longer have an irregular heartbeat or chest pain, my mood has really started to plummet again. Didn't think I'd feel any different at all to be honest because of the mood stabilizer and also because I still find it hard to accept that your happiness can be controlled by a little pill but just feeling miserable for no reason again..
Seeing my psychiatrist again on Thursday so I suppose I can speak to her about it. I feel like a bit of a drama queen talking about feeling low now though when still it's nothing compared to a few weeks ago when I literally spent all day every day thinking about killing myself. I don't even remember what "normal" feels like though so maybe this is just me, I don't know.
She's been talking about replacing it with Effexor but I've heard terrible stories about withdrawals from it if you miss a doss or are trying to get off it. I don't really like the sound of it but I'm running out of options as this is the 7th one I've tried in 6 months and I just can't seem to handle any of them at all even though they do seem to work for me mood-wise. Starting to wonder if this means I'm going to have to be taking medication for the rest of my life now. I feel guilty too because all of the team are working so hard with me and giving me so much time and I feel like I'm letting them down by not continually improving. I don't know. Feel worthless.
Hope you're all okay today. Been reading how some of you have been suffering pretty badly with panic attacks lately and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I've only ever had two in my life but they were absolutely horrible experiences, I can't imagine having to deal with that on a regular basis. You're all fighters.

Big hugs alaskayoung. I hope things start to look up for you soon. Don't feel ashamed about telling the psych how low you're feeling. It sounds like we're in a similar boat - I've been feeling low and a bit **** a lot this past week, but it is not as low as how I have felt for a good bit of this year. Just because you're not constantly overtly suicidal at the minute doesn't mean that you aren't feeling low enough for the psych to know about. I tend to think of my moods on a scale, so 1-10 (1 being very suicidal and 10 being very manic). For me 1 and 2 are debilitating. 3 is where I've been most of the time this past while. So I still feel low and find it difficult to function, but I'm not constantly suicidal. I also really get what you're saying about feeling like you're letting the team down by not recovering fast enough. But you know what? We're recovering at our own paces, and it's a long, slow process. And that's okay.

Re: Effexor - I've been on it for the last 5 years and find it grand. I do tend to skip doses sometimes, and I usually find that I don't start getting the annoying brain zaps (withdrawal symptom) unless I miss 2 doses, and sometimes even then I don;t get it. Everyone is different though - I know some people have bad experiences with it too. I would give it a go though if your psych recommends it.

Gongoozler

I think I had it in my head that once you say something, things will get better. All the ads, and everyone says just talk to someone, a problem shared is a problem halved, offload etc. But I never do. There is nothing from saying anything out loud. I say things constantly and nothing magically gets better. The best I can hope from in here is that someone might agree with me, or put something a certain way that might help temporarily. But then it's gone. You're all gone. I don't have anybody full time, permanently. I don't have someone who will listen to me whenever I need to talk. But saying it doesn't make a difference anyway. it would just be nice not to feel alone. You are not like real people.

It's not going away. And I want it to end. I can't live like this. It's ****ing torture every day. The thoughts I have about everyone and every thing. I can't stand it. I want to bang my head off the wall. As if that would stop it.

I am trying so hard to get better. But this just keeps grabbing me. It just won't stop. I cannot function like this. I'm waiting for this period to end. But then won't it just happen again whenever? Seriously what the fvuk am I meant to do here

freudiangirl

NicoleW85 wrote: »

How's everyone today?
Ever just wish some tragic accident would occur that might wipe you out because then it would be an 'easy way out'?
I'd never have the guts to take my own life but there are times I just wish life would be easier for everyone close to me if I were gone. Not feeling sorry for myself, just being real.

Hugs Nicole.

I have attempted numerous times ....but keep wondering if my pulmonary embolism hadn't been detected last year and it killed me, none of the crap of the last year would have happened.

Life is a b***h but there has to be a purpose right?
I am seeking it right now..
A reason to get better for me...its impossible to accept and find one that will carry me the ugh this struggle.

greenfrogs

I'm literally resisting the urge not to go to the shop and buy lots of food. I've only managed to feel better this evening after eating so much over the weekend. The problem with online dating is that I take it as rejection if someone doesn't message me back within a certain time frame. I keep refreshing the page over and over. Then I get down and want to eat. Then they message me. By then I've then spent one or two hours going through a range of emotions, down, sad, lonely etc. And for nothing. I don't even feel happy when they message afterwards. Why can't I be normal???

I've dbt tomorrow. We are starting on interpersonal skills. Hopefully these will start to help soon.

My first step is to resist the urge to eat.

NicoleW85

Big hugs to anyone who could do with one right now. We all have different struggles - some may seem less severe than others (i feel bad because I don't get anxious/panic stricken in public and I feel sorry for those of you who do), but they are relative to each of us. Just remember nobody is perfect in this world so we should never feel inadequate- we are just as important in this world as everyone else !!!

greenfrogs

Reading the post above mine, makes my problems seem very trivial. But, unfortunately they impact on my life every single second of every day. It just goes to show mental illness comes in so many forms and guises.

NicoleW85

So true, and it's also partly how we cope. We're all made up so differently - no 2 people will deal with something the exact same way. Like I cry a lot when I'm stressed. Some people don't cry at all and they toughen up like ice maidens. It's just how we are.

scrimshanker

All day I've had very intrusive thoughts about slashing my arms to pieces, I wish they'd stop. If anyone has tips on getting rid of unwanted thoughts, please share.

And now this evening I'm a bit upset. I shouldn't be watching law and order svu... And I'm divided. Do I contact him or not? If I do, it's admitting to him that he still has power over me. I really need to know if he even thought it was wrong. Does he know just how much damage his actions have caused? But then, if I don't it still shows him that he won.. Because unless police come knocking on his door I'm obviously still under his thumb. But if I do report him I admit that he did have a negative effect on me. And even then he still wouldn't pay. So basically he wins every way. I lose, game over. I just hate thinking of myself as a victim, it's not a hat that fits. I don't want to be a victim.

greenfrogs

I have heard of holding an ice cube in your hand until the thoughts have passed.

First of all, our lives are not defined by one event or one person. You are a smart, nice person with family and friends who care about you. It is hard to see yourself as a victim. It is hard to think that you were taken advantage of. There are not nice people in this world. If it wasn't you then, it probably would of been someone else.

Every single thing that happens in our lives affects us. However we have the power to control how much it affects us. Have you spoken to your therapist about this. A point to note, if your therapist is male then, maybe you won't feel comfortable. I feel more comfortable with female therapists. Or, what about an informal chat with a guard or solicitor. Just to get some information that may help you to decide whether to report him or not.

scrimshanker

Yeah I spoke to the therapist, not a huge amount of detail but I think it's helpful. Sometimes I just hate myself for being the one who fell victim to a predator. I absolutely loathe myself that he's free to go about his life and hurt others. Their pain, the damage to them, that's on my hands. I'm sure there were more after me.

Hugo Stiglitz

I hope the urge has passed by the time you see this Scrm.

scrimshanker

Hey thanks Hugo.

It wasn't so much an urge as a constant thinking about it even though I didn't particularly want to do it. Seems to have subsidised now.

NicoleW85

For your own sake and the sake of any others who have been preyed upon (i won't use the 'v' word - it's degrading in a way), I think you should have that chat with a solicitor sooner rather than later, and make plans to take the scumbag down. Why should he roam freely without paying a price for what he's done?
Be strong- you can do this

veganrun

Plucked up the courage to go back to the GP today. I wasn't due to see her for another few weeks but seeing I am starting this job next week, I bit the bullet and went today.

I was really, really nervous and anxious, almost shaking. She has told me to continue on the citalopram and prescribed me something else short term to get me over these next few weeks.

Gongoozler

Gongoozler wrote: »

I think I had it in my head that once you say something, things will get better. All the ads, and everyone says just talk to someone, a problem shared is a problem halved, offload etc. But I never do. There is nothing from saying anything out loud. I say things constantly and nothing magically gets better. The best I can hope from in here is that someone might agree with me, or put something a certain way that might help temporarily. But then it's gone. You're all gone. I don't have anybody full time, permanently. I don't have someone who will listen to me whenever I need to talk. But saying it doesn't make a difference anyway. it would just be nice not to feel alone. You are not like real people.

It's not going away. And I want it to end. I can't live like this. It's ****ing torture every day. The thoughts I have about everyone and every thing. I can't stand it. I want to bang my head off the wall. As if that would stop it.

I am trying so hard to get better. But this just keeps grabbing me. It just won't stop. I cannot function like this. I'm waiting for this period to end. But then won't it just happen again whenever? Seriously what the fvuk am I meant to do here

I completely understand what you're saying . A lot of depression is loneliness . They go hand in hand. I hope you're feeling a bit better today?

Gremlinertia

Went to a party saturday, was good, though i had to 'time out' a few times. Went to work sunday night, suffered with the come down, bed yesterday, however a friend was concerned which was nice, she kept an eye on me..

Hugo Stiglitz

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I completely understand what you're saying . A lot of depression is loneliness . They go hand in hand. I hope you're feeling a bit better today?

Loneliness is a bitch unfortunately.