Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Jhcx

Hi everyone. How we all on this Tuesday? Must say this thread moves very fast. I really can't keep up.

Jhcx

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I completely understand what you're saying . A lot of depression is loneliness . They go hand in hand. I hope you're feeling a bit better today?

Oh truer words could never be said. I notice a major change in my attitude and energy when I am with friends. Unfortunately even hanging around with just the one its lonely. I think these are some of the reasons as to why I'm suffering from high anxiety the last year or so. Just the complete abandonment hits home fast and doesn't bend in with my personality.

mg1982

Its funny i could be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. Luckily i dont feel lonely that often and have actually grown to like being on my own. People can wreck my head sometimes.

greenfrogs

It's like the ad on TV which says you could be in Croke Park yet still feel like the loneliest person in the world. It's a horrible feeling.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Its funny i could be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. Luckily i dont feel lonely that often and have actually grown to like being on my own. People can wreck my head sometimes.

I'm with my family most of the time, and I get on great with them. I still feel very lonely though, like in terms of peers etc.

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

It's like the ad on TV which says you could be in Croke Park yet still feel like the loneliest person in the world. It's a horrible feeling.

Its a good ad and describes what a lot of people feel. I guess even though i could be surrounded by people i just feel im on a completely different wavelength to them so making any real connections with people seems impossible.

greenfrogs

You are not alone in feeling like that MG. It's very isolating. I'm still quite agitated about a social occasion I had at the weekend. For some reason I used my old social behaviours, retreating into myself, not talking to people I know etc.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

I guess even though i could be surrounded by people i just feel im on a completely different wavelength to them so making any real connections with people seems impossible.

Well said MG. I feel like that in work. Like even when chatting with the nice folks in there, I just can't make a connection with them on any level at all.

Kaylami

How's everyone doing today?

Bad day here the anxiety is definitely getting worse. Averaging 2 hours sleep a night.

Back in with psychiatrist today. Meds upped to 200mg from 150 mg and added a second to help me sleep at night just 10mg though.

It's like I find the worse case scenario and fixate on it and the rational part of me has no input even though I'm being stupid most of the time.

No one understands my mother thinks you can just pick yourself up and get on with it.

Hugo Stiglitz

Kaylami wrote: »

No one understands my mother thinks you can just pick yourself up and get on with it.

Sorry to hear that Kaylami.

How was your day there? Do you feel that you got on ok at the psychiatrist?

Kaylami

It was fine. She's really tied in what she can do meds wise with me being pregnant but I found her a lot easier to talk to today we talked about coping mechanisms and reasons as to why I'm feeling so low again.

Just hate going into dublin to see her makes the anxiety 100 times worse!

heyday30

Still lying in bed.
Supposed to be going to the gym in an hour, wrecked tired though.

Need a kick up the ass.

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

Still lying in bed.
Supposed to be going to the gym in an hour, wrecked tired though.

Need a kick up the ass.

If your tired your tired H. Wouldnt worry about missing the gym for one day. Maybe go for a walk later on if you feel up to it instead.

Jhcx

Kaylami wrote: »

No one understands my mother thinks you can just pick yourself up and get on with it.

Oh I hate that attitude. The granmother is the same just seems to think you can just shake it off and carry on.

Kaylami

Jhcx wrote: »

Oh I hate that attitude. The granmother is the same just seems to think you can just shake it off and carry on.

It sucks doesn't it.

If it was that easy there would be no need to medication or psychiatric medicine.

greenfrogs

They are from a different generation. There are times where I am even shocked by just how much mental illness affects me. Maybe it's because I have borderline personality disorder traits. It means that parts of my personality aren't really me. I thought it was me but they are part of this disorder. I'm probably not making much sense.

Kaylami

greenfrogs wrote: »

They are from a different generation. There are times where I am even shocked by just how much mental illness affects me. Maybe it's because I have borderline personality disorder traits. It means that parts of my personality aren't really me. I thought it was me but they are part of this disorder. I'm probably not making much sense.

Before this happened me I had a similar view of mental illness. Like in my opinion it was just feeling sorry for yourself and being lazy.

I'm so sorry I ever thought that now when I see how completely debilitating it can be. There are days where if it wasn't for the kids I wouldn't leave my bed.

greenfrogs

I just thought I was lazy and the problem was me. Sometimes it's hard to recognise there is something seriously wrong. I think I didn't realise how complicated mental illness can be.

alaskayoung

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear of your troubles there, Alaska.

You're not worthless. Not one bit. This situation isn't your choice and it's not your fault.

You must remember that you only tend to hear the bad stories about medication such as Effexor. You never really hear the successes. Who knows, it could very well be the wonder drug for you.

Thanks for that Hugo Yeah, you're right that's probably the case, hopefully anyway. It's hard not to get a little freaked out reading about some of these drugs!

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Big hugs alaskayoung. I hope things start to look up for you soon. Don't feel ashamed about telling the psych how low you're feeling. It sounds like we're in a similar boat - I've been feeling low and a bit **** a lot this past week, but it is not as low as how I have felt for a good bit of this year. Just because you're not constantly overtly suicidal at the minute doesn't mean that you aren't feeling low enough for the psych to know about. I tend to think of my moods on a scale, so 1-10 (1 being very suicidal and 10 being very manic). For me 1 and 2 are debilitating. 3 is where I've been most of the time this past while. So I still feel low and find it difficult to function, but I'm not constantly suicidal. I also really get what you're saying about feeling like you're letting the team down by not recovering fast enough. But you know what? We're recovering at our own paces, and it's a long, slow process. And that's okay.

Re: Effexor - I've been on it for the last 5 years and find it grand. I do tend to skip doses sometimes, and I usually find that I don't start getting the annoying brain zaps (withdrawal symptom) unless I miss 2 doses, and sometimes even then I don;t get it. Everyone is different though - I know some people have bad experiences with it too. I would give it a go though if your psych recommends it.

Thanks so much EI, you're very sweet. Yeah, you're probably right about being honest with my psych. Maybe it's silly but throughout this whole experience I've been so terrified of being thought as attention seeking or a drama queen even though I know myself it's not true. I'm nearly more concerned with what she thinks of me rather than what I need from her. :rolleyes: I can totally relate to what you're saying about lying at around a 3 on a scale of 1-10. I guess I feel like after being at a 1-2 for so long I should be grateful to be there and everything now is kinda trivial. I'm sorry you're feeling low yourself and I hope things pick up for you soon x

Oh and thank you for sharing your experience with Effexor. I feel better after hearing that. I think I'll give it a go

alaskayoung

scrimshanker wrote: »

All day I've had very intrusive thoughts about slashing my arms to pieces, I wish they'd stop. If anyone has tips on getting rid of unwanted thoughts, please share.

I get the same sometimes too, just kind of fantasizing about it in a way. I guess trying to just distract myself works most of the time, keeping busy. I've drawn all over my arms in markers before, swirls and flowers and suns and planets which I actually found really helpful. It keeps you busy but also like with cutting it stays there for awhile and you can look back at it and remember how you felt but less harmful obviously :P
Writing also helps me a lot when I have the urge sometimes. Again it takes time so I'll have usually calmed down by then but also it helps me figure out what's making me feel the way I am. It kind of validates your feelings the same way self harm does.
I hope today's a better day for you x

heyday30

mg1982 wrote: »

If your tired your tired H. Wouldnt worry about missing the gym for one day. Maybe go for a walk later on if you feel up to it instead.

I went in the end. was a hard push to do it though

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

I went in the end. was a hard push to do it though

Fair play H. Are you doing a group exercise routine or just working away yourself.

I went for a three mile walk. It was quiet and peaceful.

greenfrogs

I meant to go for a walk yesterday and today but, I didn't. I really must try again tomorrow.

There are times I have thought about cutting myself. I have never actually done it. It must be hard though when you have calmed down and see what happened.

heyday30

mg1982 wrote: »

Fair play H. Are you doing a group exercise routine or just working away yourself.

I went for a three mile walk. It was quiet and peaceful.

Well done to you too.

I'm going with my sister. Target of 3times a week. It's to get out of the house really. It'll get a bit easier in time.

greenfrogs

That's fab that you are going with someone. It is that extra bit of motivation. I'd love to have someone to hang around with to do activities like that during the day.

mg1982

Ya i wouldnt feel comfortable going into a gym by myself. Id feel very self conscious and Wouldnt know where to start.

heyday30

I'd have no problem going to the gym by myself. If my sister can't go I bring my phone n headphones n listen to my music most of the time.

To go walking like you do mg, I'd panic.

Gremlinertia

I see a few of you mentioning self harm thoughts and strangely enough I've had them on my mind intermittently the last week or two. Not urges as such but there all the same.. I'm trying to tell myself the thoughts and images aren't helpful and I don't need to be so hard on myself but it's hard to believe it when you're at a low ebb.

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

I'd have no problem going to the gym by myself. If my sister can't go I bring my phone n headphones n listen to my music most of the time.

To go walking like you do mg, I'd panic.

Where i live its very rural so i wouldnt meet a soul out walking apart from the local wildlife.

freudiangirl

Still struggling a lot.
Gave into urges of self harm.
Just feeling awful.