Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Hugo Stiglitz

efb wrote: »

Was anxious, but it went well.

Glad to hear that

Roquentin

This little piggy wrote: »

Hi all ... I've previously posted in this thread under my old username (mocha please)

Hope everyone's doing well. Or as well as they can be!

My recent admission to St Pats wasn't the magic bullet I thought it would be. I didn't come out fixed; far from it. I'm going for an assessment at a different hospital tomorrow, but to be honest I can't see it working out. I've spent too long away from home and work and real life. I can't go into such a confined environment again so soon.

I'm beginning to think I won't really ever get better, so just have to learn to make the most of life with the way I am now.

I guess at least I'm on the right medication now (I think), and at least I've identified/addressed some of my problems.

there is no golden bullet. People think that they will suddenly wake up one morning and all will be ok. Life doesnt work like that. If you had bad eyesight or a missing limb they give you glasses or a prosthetic limb, but they wont solve it completely. They make it better, but dont solve it completely. mental illness is like this.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

The pain i had the last few days i could never get used to was unbearable. Its funny how IBS seems to go with anxiety and depression. You would wonder how a bad stomach could effect your mental well being.

Apparently our gut holds 90 to 95 per cent of the serotonin in our bodies. The below article has some more information. It's very interesting.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/9197756/What-your-guts-telling-you-why-your-digestion-holds-the-key-to-your-health.html

Gremlinertia

Welcome back Mocha/Piggy I thought about you a lot. Unfortunately this whole thing is a long kinda journey but I hope it will all work out. Stay strong I'm rooting for you.

Diamond Doll

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Welcome back Mocha/Piggy I thought about you a lot. Unfortunately this whole thing is a long kinda journey but I hope it will all work out. Stay strong I'm rooting for you.

Thanks. I didn't go for that assessment at the other hospital today, in the end. I've always been an independent person, and this is something I'll need to deal with in my own way. It's far too easy to become institutionalised, and I can see from St Pats that this is the worst thing in the world for me - it just made me go through bouts of breaking out and acting completely erratically and impulsively. Off to my (very nice) GP tomorrow to try to figure out where to go from here.

NicoleW85

I've come to realise that I expect too much from myself. I expect to be able to feel 'normal' and portray it in my everyday life with a fake smile plastered on my face at all times. Then when things don't go to plan, I beat myself up and mentally punish myself. I think I've also been of the mindset that I will eventually get 'better', but I think I need to accept that I'll always be this way. Take the pressure off myself a bit...

Roquentin

NicoleW85 wrote: »

I've come to realise that I expect too much from myself. I expect to be able to feel 'normal' and portray it in my everyday life with a fake smile plastered on my face at all times. Then when things don't go to plan, I beat myself up and mentally punish myself. I think I've also been of the mindset that I will eventually get 'better', but I think I need to accept that I'll always be this way. Take the pressure off myself a bit...

i think this is a huge problem in society. People through youth are programmed to see work and relationships as a means to make them happy. They expect that when they achieve at both, that they should become happy. then when they fail to become happy, they are left puzzled as to what has gone wrong.

its a paradox of hedonism. one cannot expect things to make them happy, but rather they have to put themselves into certain things and hope they become happy. but its not certain,.

NicoleW85

Very well said. I also feel my parents put too much pressure on me to 'smile and stop looking so miserable' when I was a young teenager. Now I'm paranoid people will think I'm unfriendly and constantly miserable (which I'm not) if I don't have a smile on, so I'm often deceiving myself!! Mind *** or what?? Haha

Hugo Stiglitz

Welcome back Mocha Piggy

Hugo Stiglitz

NicoleW85 wrote: »

I've come to realise that I expect too much from myself. I expect to be able to feel 'normal' and portray it in my everyday life with a fake smile plastered on my face at all times. Then when things don't go to plan, I beat myself up and mentally punish myself. I think I've also been of the mindset that I will eventually get 'better', but I think I need to accept that I'll always be this way. Take the pressure off myself a bit...

I can definitely relate to that Nicole.

I'm starting to notice that I'm increasing viewing people as enemies.

Roquentin

NicoleW85 wrote: »

Very well said. I also feel my parents put too much pressure on me to 'smile and stop looking so miserable' when I was a young teenager. Now I'm paranoid people will think I'm unfriendly and constantly miserable (which I'm not) if I don't have a smile on, so I'm often deceiving myself!! Mind *** or what?? Haha

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

Friedrich Nietzsche

Roquentin

family can put us under a lot of pressure. because we were born with parents there is an inclination that we should become parents ourselves. we are kind of in a bind. society says do this, but when we do it, we get anxious or stressed.

mg1982

Roquentin wrote: »

family can put us under a lot of pressure. because we were born with parents there is an inclination that we should become parents ourselves. we are kind of in a bind. society says do this, but when we do it, we get anxious or stressed.

Even at age 33 i still feel i am constantly looking for my familys approval. My whole sense of well being seems to revolve around that. You would think at my age i would have got over that but thats not the case.

maydream

Hi, I'm new here, having a pretty bad week, first time to be signed off work. My emotions are sky high. I just feel so alone. Going for a psych k session tomorrow and wondered if anyone has ever tried it?

alaskayoung

If anybody's interested, I've been reading The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook by New Harbinger that I bought online a little while ago and it's a really amazing book. I know there's a lot out there but this one is truly really good. I think anybody suffering from depression or anxiety would find it helpful but especially to those of you who also have BPD or struggle with self harm. Don't know if any of you care but just thought I'd share

Met with my psych again today and managed to be honest with her. I find her so intimidating even though she's a really warm and caring person. I think I idolize her too much. She's put me on Cymbalta instead of Effexor which I'm more comfortable with so pleeeeeease God let me tolerate this. If anyone is on this or has had experience with it I'd be really grateful

NicoleW85

Fingers crossed for you alaskayoung - hope it works out. Thanks for recommendation, must check it out

scrimshanker

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand agitated. Yup yup yup.... Fedd up to fcuk waiting on my referral. Want to know something. Might call them tomorrow and see what the story is. Fcuk my life. Jesus I actually sometimes feel like just walking out and keeping on walking, just keep going and going and see where I end up. Can't do a damned thing with my cough right now. Damned cold. I'm not down but I sorta want to die iykwim. This just isn't working. Whhhhhy it takes so long to be seen is beyond me.

Euphoria Intensifies

maydream wrote: »

Hi, I'm new here, having a pretty bad week, first time to be signed off work. My emotions are sky high. I just feel so alone. Going for a psych k session tomorrow and wondered if anyone has ever tried it?

Hiya maydream, welcome to the thread. You aren't alone in this fight, all of us here are battling alongside you. Hope your session tomorrow goes well.

scrimshanker wrote: »

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand agitated. Yup yup yup.... Fedd up to fcuk waiting on my referral. Want to know something. Might call them tomorrow and see what the story is. Fcuk my life. Jesus I actually sometimes feel like just walking out and keeping on walking, just keep going and going and see where I end up. Can't do a damned thing with my cough right now. Damned cold. I'm not down but I sorta want to die iykwim. This just isn't working. Whhhhhy it takes so long to be seen is beyond me.

Big hugs scrim Fill a jug with warm water and add lemon, honey and cayenne pepper and hopefully drinking that might knock the cold/cough out of you. Defo give them a ring tomorrow and enquire about your referral. It really is unreal the disparity in waiting times to be seen.

Diamond Doll

Yeah my relationship is over.

Whoop-de-doop, my life just keeps getting better and better!

greenfrogs

NicoleW85 wrote: »

Very well said. I also feel my parents put too much pressure on me to 'smile and stop looking so miserable' when I was a young teenager. Now I'm paranoid people will think I'm unfriendly and constantly miserable (which I'm not) if I don't have a smile on, so I'm often deceiving myself!! Mind *** or what?? Haha

My Mom was the exact same. I always think I'm really unfriendly and quiet. For years my sister made me feel weird for being a quiet person.

mg1982 wrote: »

Even at age 33 i still feel i am constantly looking for my familys approval. My whole sense of well being seems to revolve around that. You would think at my age i would have got over that but thats not the case.

I find my parents especially my mom can be a bit too involved in my life. Where are you, where are going, what time will you back, do this, do that. If I don't do what she said then she's really rude. She can be quite domineering. I rarely take her opinion on board anymore. She actually makes my anxiety worse.

scrimshanker wrote: »

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand agitated. Yup yup yup.... Fedd up to fcuk waiting on my referral. Want to know something. Might call them tomorrow and see what the story is. Fcuk my life. Jesus I actually sometimes feel like just walking out and keeping on walking, just keep going and going and see where I end up. Can't do a damned thing with my cough right now. Damned cold. I'm not down but I sorta want to die iykwim. This just isn't working. Whhhhhy it takes so long to be seen is beyond me.

That is ridiculous. Definitely ring them.

heyday30

maydream wrote: »

Hi, I'm new here, having a pretty bad week, first time to be signed off work. My emotions are sky high. I just feel so alone. Going for a psych k session tomorrow and wondered if anyone has ever tried it?

Hi maydream. Sorry you've been feeling bad. This thread is great to vent away and talk.

Do you mean you're going to a psychiatrist?

scrimshanker wrote: »

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand agitated. Yup yup yup.... Fedd up to fcuk waiting on my referral. Want to know something. Might call them tomorrow and see what the story is. Fcuk my life. Jesus I actually sometimes feel like just walking out and keeping on walking, just keep going and going and see where I end up. Can't do a damned thing with my cough right now. Damned cold. I'm not down but I sorta want to die iykwim. This just isn't working. Whhhhhy it takes so long to be seen is beyond me.

Waiting times are a joke in this country scrim. Hope you hear something soon.

scrimshanker

This little piggy wrote: »

Yeah my relationship is over.

Whoop-de-doop, my life just keeps getting better and better!

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that TLP. Do you think the relationship can be salvaged?

greenfrogs

heyday30 wrote: »

Waiting times are a joke in this country scrim. Hope you hear something soon.

Waiting times can be shocking. But, what I find even worse is that not every area has the same treatments available. Sometimes it is complete luck that you are in the area which has the correct treatment for you. It is not fair. I know if I lived 10 minutes from where I live then the dbt skills program I am doing wouldn't be available to me. That is not right.

scrimshanker

The really ridiculous thing is that these are private waiting times. I mean ffs. Like I've been on waiting lists before, I was on one that took 18 months to be seen to rule out a life threatening condition (ruled out! Aw yea!), I waited two years to be seen in an allergy clinic, but I Just can't seem to wait this time. I think I'm on planet fcuking kookoo because I wake up groggy groggy and then at night I'm wired to the moon. Wired.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

The really ridiculous thing is that these are private waiting times. I mean ffs. Like I've been on waiting lists before, I was on one that took 18 months to be seen to rule out a life threatening condition (ruled out! Aw yea!), I waited two years to be seen in an allergy clinic, but I Just can't seem to wait this time. I think I'm on planet fcuking kookoo because I wake up groggy groggy and then at night I'm wired to the moon. Wired.

There really is something wrong here. Not to be rude but, I think if a person can't go about about their daily life (e.g. school, college, work, socialise etc) then something is seriously wrong. I know I would have been considered low functioning when in the middle of my depression. I wasn't able for work and just wanted to stay at home. I dread to think what would of happened if I had to wait months for treatment. Even though, there are times when I think I must have been crazy to get treatment so quickly.

Euphoria Intensifies

This little piggy wrote: »

Yeah my relationship is over.

Whoop-de-doop, my life just keeps getting better and better!

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that TLP. Make sure and keep yourself safe and okay; that's such a hard thing to happen in anyone's life, but when you're going through a rough patch MH wise it's even tougher. We're all here if you need us.

freudiangirl

Totally fed up tonight. It has been a long, mentally tough week due to my dbt course.
Started a new hobby which turned out to be a thing I was actually quite good at. Yet, I have once again managed to turn it into a negative habit that I use when really and find I now get little to no satisfaction or sense of achievement. I now link it to negative emotion and feelings of stress and being overwhelmed.

Btw, my new hobby was crochet.

FML. Sometimes, you just have to wonder.

Totally hopeless tonight and wondering will it ever get better

scrimshanker

freudiangirl wrote: »

Totally hopeless tonight and wondering will it ever get better

I know that feeling. You're not alone there *hugs*

mg1982

freudiangirl wrote: »

Totally fed up tonight. It has been a long, mentally tough week due to my dbt course.
Started a new hobby which turned out to be a thing I was actually quite good at. Yet, I have once again managed to turn it into a negative habit that I use when really and find I now get little to no satisfaction or sense of achievement. I now link it to negative emotion and feelings of stress and being overwhelmed.

Btw, my new hobby was crochet.

FML. Sometimes, you just have to wonder.

Totally hopeless tonight and wondering will it ever get better

Did you find the new hobby became a bit of an obsession for you and then became unenjoyable. I know that can happen to me at times, i have a bit of an obsessive personality.

Hope you get over this soon.

Hugo Stiglitz

This little piggy wrote: »

Yeah my relationship is over.

Whoop-de-doop, my life just keeps getting better and better!

Sorry to hear that