Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Kaylami

Thanks Gremlinertia.
Hoping to see my GP tomorrow.

I don't know why I reacted the way I did which worries me. I thought I was finally getting my crap together and under control.

greenfrogs

The last few months I have felt pretty good. However its mainly because I blocked men out of my life. I have so many issues around men and relationships. I want to have a normal relationship but I'm not sure if I will find anybody who wants me. I also can't guarantee that I won't go bat sh8te crazy at the simplest things either. Why did I ignore that part of my life. Now my individual therapy is ending and I still haven't dealt with this issue. So frustrated.

alaskayoung

To those of you in a dbt programme, do you consistently see an individual therapist every week as well as the group sessions?

Gremlinertia

chsdeddijj wrote: »

Sure. No worries.

Hey again. Sorry for delay. Travelling to work.. Is there anything about today/now that's getting you down more than usual? Have to say there's a few of us feeling fairly rough the last few days..

greenfrogs

I don't. I'm in a dbt skills programme. It's only 6 months long and just is group therapy.

Gremlinertia

alaskayoung wrote: »

To those of you in a dbt programme, do you consistently see an individual therapist every week as well as the group sessions?

Yes. Every week for the duration bar the odd break of a week..

alaskayoung

Have to be up at 5am for work and am so wide awake I don't think I'll be sleeping at all tonight. So incredibly anxious, have just been lying in bed tossing and turning for the past hour and a half mind racing. Don't know if I should just get up and do something or lie here. I can't stand this panicking.
I've been on an anti-psychotic for 6 months now that used to put me straight to sleep but ever since I started this mood stabiliser, it seems to have nullified its effects...

Hugo Stiglitz

alaskayoung wrote: »

Have to be up at 5am for work and am so wide awake I don't think I'll be sleeping at all tonight. So incredibly anxious, have just been lying in bed tossing and turning for the past hour and a half mind racing. Don't know if I should just get up and do something or lie here. I can't stand this panicking.
I've been on an anti-psychotic for 6 months now that used to put me straight to sleep but ever since I started this mood stabiliser, it seems to have nullified its effects...

I hope that sleeps finds its way to you soon there Alaska.

Gremlinertia

Alaska, that is an enormous pain in the ass. It's a battle of mine for years. Still no full solution found for it though sleep hygiene does help at times. I hope you manage a few hours at least.

alaskayoung

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Alaska, that is an enormous pain in the ass. It's a battle of mine for years. Still no full solution found for it though sleep hygiene does help at times. I hope you manage a few hours at least.

Thanks Grem It really is so frustrating. Happy out just watching youtube now (which probably isn't the greatest idea) but know work tomorrow is going to be rough as hell tomorrow now. Not going to sleep at all tonight for sure!

Gremlinertia

It's bloody hard isn't it?. I thought reading/watching something until I drifted off was a good idea and had to basically unlearn all that stuff. It's a really difficult thing to stick at since I'm twenty odd years in my routine.

alaskayoung

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's bloody hard isn't it?. I thought reading/watching something until I drifted off was a good idea and had to basically unlearn all that stuff. It's a really difficult thing to stick at since I'm twenty odd years in my routine.

I'm currently reading 20 tip lists on how to fall asleep and for some reason they're not working?!? Yeah I have a pretty good idea of what I should be doing too but lack the discipline to do it consistently.

Gremlinertia

I think one of my biggest problems is even believing that any of them will work for me.. Even if it does I'm liable to write it off as a fluke!

carzony

Bloody hard journey this morning. Had to walk to the social welfare, Half way there my anxiety kicks in and was to far to turn around. I was in and out of a panic attack for like 30 mins. Walk into the office and had to go home. Flagged a taxi as I just couldnt make the 15 minute journey home. ffs

Home now, Feel like never wanting to go out again...

I was only thinking of starting a new job not sure i'll manage after today..

Gremlinertia

carzony wrote: »

Bloody hard journey this morning. Had to walk to the social welfare, Half way there my anxiety kicks in and was to far to turn around. I was in and out of a panic attack for like 30 mins. Walk into the office and had to go home. Flagged a taxi as I just couldnt make the 15 minute journey home. ffs

Home now, Feel like never wanting to go out again...

I was only thinking of starting a new job not sure i'll manage after today..

Please remember that all this sh1t is temporary, bad and good but it keeps on moving.. I' m currently feeling stunned with the hours I've just done but I know that a walk with the dog and a good long time in bed will bring me around a small bit. I'll dip again after for sure.. And I'll look at this post and hate myself for its positive tone.. Then I'll agree again. It's a bigass stupid hamster wheel we all are on.. Sorry for rambly post.. Way overtired, hugs for you. Be kind to yourself today.

freudiangirl

Uber stressed again. I have to go home for week so am going tomorrow despite not feeling particularly safe. I have to find min 300 euro by Thursday and do t even k ow where to start between paying for course as day patient and meds. .....
And accommodation in Dublin for tomorrow night so I don't have to travel back up on Thursday for course

I have to go for a week at some point so I am better off with them not bothering me about it and just doing it.
I just do not feel great after weekend and this extra s**t I do not need. I am not coping here never mind at home. I won't have my prn or extra support at home so I can't see me coping in anyway. I still feel quite low and no better than before I was admitted.


I also have no crisis plan in place in Cork so am extra stressed. My brain is fried.
I honestly can't see the point of anything anymore.

Iseedeadpixels

freudiangirl wrote: »

Uber stressed again. I have to go home for week so am going tomorrow despite not feeling particularly safe. I have to find min 300 euro by Thursday and do t even k ow where to start between paying for course as day patient and meds. .....
And accommodation in Dublin for tomorrow night so I don't have to travel back up on Thursday for course

I have to go for a week at some point so I am better off with them not bothering me about it and just doing it.
I just do not feel great after weekend and this extra s**t I do not need. I am not coping here never mind at home. I won't have my prn or extra support at home so I can't see me coping in anyway. I still feel quite low and no better than before I was admitted.


I also have no crisis plan in place in Cork so am extra stressed. My brain is fried.
I honestly can't see the point of anything anymore.

If you are struggling and need a chat I'm 100% sure someone on here would give you their number or skype etc for a chat.

bullvine

Might not even be the right location for this not sure why I am even posting, although I am a worrier, I generally get on with things. The first weekend of June, I had pretty much the best weekend of my life, spent with the wife and two kids, I don't think I ever been happier over those two days. Then on the Sunday night I had what I'd call a bad turn in the middle of the night and felt like I was having a heart attack(Pain in left arm etc). I said nothing to my wife but it caused a change in my mood, resulting in a terrible fear I was going to die and leave my kids alone which I never thought about before. A couple of weeks passed and I started to get a slight irritation on my back. This worsened my fear and I had genuinely convinced myself that I was very ill. The mood/grumpiness worsened, it was totally out of character for me, snapping at the family and stuff. My wife knew something was up and demanded to know what, I broke down and told her. She convinced me to go to the doctors.

After a full check up, I was told I was in great health(I have just turned 40), the pain in my arm was some nerve damage and tendonitis and the itch was some fungal infection. Even after being told this, I have still not felt myself and fearful.

A week passed and the doc came back with the results of a blood test, as it turns out I have massive Iron Overload(Haemochromatosis) but its easily treated, I told him I was really anxious and worried, problems sleeping, lots of tension and the odd muscle spasm. He prescribed me some Xanax for two weeks just till I start the treatment, I was a little against it at first but cause it helps me to sleep I can see the point of it.

I just never imagined I could be this fearful, its horrible, I know its caused by toxic amount of metal in my body but I just fear I won't get better when the treatment starts.

freudiangirl

Iseedeadpixels wrote: »

If you are struggling and need a chat I'm 100% sure someone on here would give you their number or skype etc for a chat.

Thanks
What I need is a concrete plan in place for cork in case I need professional help and I won't have that.

I know how I feel.now and my arms are proof I am not coping...trying to think of ways to hide marks when I am back.home.
Thing is I cannot function. I can't hand people touching me,lights or noise. I don't have a great appetite and either sleep too much or not at all.
I am not right and I knew going home will be extra pressure. The only thing relieving my emotional is the physical pain I inflict on myself which is getting worse by the day.

I can only imagine trying to cope at home.
I was planning on going home for weekend and now it's tomorrow for a eek and I don't even have enough cash to sort course Meds and travel.
It's a balls of a situation.
I just feel rotten

I haven't felt so low in ages.

Hugo Stiglitz

Karsini wrote: »

I haven't felt so low in ages.

Sorry to hear that K. What's on your mind there friend?

Hugo Stiglitz

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear that K. What's on your mind there friend?

Thanks Hugo. I can't talk about it here (probably against Boards rules) but I'll PM you later.

Hugo Stiglitz

Karsini wrote: »

Thanks Hugo. I can't talk about it here (probably against Boards rules) but I'll PM you later.

Mind yourself there man.

freudiangirl

I want to go to sleep & either not wake up or else wake up in another person's body. I can't cope with this pain anymore.

I honestly cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel is well and truly gone out.

freudiangirl

I.just want to say thanks to everyone for all their kind and encouraging words.
I won't be on here for a while as I am not the best and it's better that I avoid contact with people in all senses as I am not the most uplifting at the moment.
I appreciate all your help and messages in past few weeks.

I know that great things lie ahead for all of ye.

syklops

freudiangirl wrote: »

I.just want to say thanks to everyone for all their kind and encouraging words.
I won't be on here for a while as I am not the best and it's better that I avoid contact with people in all senses as I am not the most uplifting at the moment.

Nooooo! Seriously, isolation is the worst thing you can do. Trust me, isolating yourself is the worst thing you can do for you self. Isolating yourself from even online contact and becoming a sort of Hermit is not a good idea.

Please come back and interact with us.

alaskayoung

My hair's falling out again. Anxiety is tearing me up inside. Have no idea how I'm supposed to cope with starting college in September when I can't even seem to be able to hold myself together with no other demands. I'm such a failure of a person.

greenfrogs

Very cranky this evening. I have realised just how low my self esteem is when it comes to men. I messaged someone online who I thought was good looking. We exchanged a few messages and then he stopped replying. I attached some photos of me in my message and he did reply. However after I replied to that, he didn't message anymore. This happened a couple of days ago. Now I am thinking how ugly I am, how badly I photograph, no one will ever find me attractive etc etc. Very annoying. I know rationally it doesn't matter but I am still upset. I know I'll add it to my list of rejection. Another thing to beat myself up about.

greenfrogs

I really don't know what to do. I feel like I am in the same position as always. Why do I get so upset at the smallest thing. I am never going to have a relationship if these kind of things can throw me off balance so easily.

I can't even bring this up in group therapy as I am mortified by it. My cbt therapist has never really been able to help me on it. What if I am always like this. I thought dbt would help me with it but now I doubt it. This is actually destroying my life.

scrimshanker

Hmm awake again.. So this crud returns. I even did (well, attempted) some meditation before bed.