Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Hugo Stiglitz

It's a ****ing pain in the arse and is utterly soul destroying.

mg1982

alaskayoung wrote: »

2 weeks more or less. Yeah have definitely experienced the energy rush over the past 2 weeks. Practically skip around the place but today is just insane!
Took the Valium and still pretty restless but anxiety is a lot better. This stuff is seriously a wonderdrug Only have one tablet left though and it's so expensive to go to the GP. out of hours especially when I'm not sure they'll even write me a prescription..

The valium is pretty good allright. Have a stockpile of them and xanax for when i need them.

Gremlinertia

One of the worst bits is when you are ok, no matter how briefly, you almost immediately begin worrying about how long it will last, thus taking any possible enjoyment out of it..

greenfrogs

I don't think there's an hour goes by where I don't think of my health situation, it's very time consuming. Every activity I do is analysed to see if there is a chance it could set me off.

I also can't say I am content to just sit there doing nothing or watching tv. My mind wanders so easily and I find it hard. I find myself spending hours online doing basically nothing. I have to keep checking different things, it's a way to distract my mind.

mg1982

Gremlinertia wrote: »

One of the worst bits is when you are ok, no matter how briefly, you almost immediately begin worrying about how long it will last, thus taking any possible enjoyment out of it..

Anytime i start feeling anywhere normal i begin to worry. Its such an alien feeling at this stage.

greenfrogs

I remember saying to my pdoc that my meds were too strong as I thought they were making me too happy. I thought I was appearing manic to others but really I was just experiencing a less depressed mood.

Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand so that everyone here could feel better.

alaskayoung

mg1982 wrote: »

The valium is pretty good allright. Have a stockpile of them and xanax for when i need them.

How did you manage that?? My pdoc won't allow me them at all :P

alaskayoung

Still wide awake, didn't sleep even for a second last night, just paced around. Valium starting to wear off so anxiety is kicking back in with the hyperactivity and now I'm gonna be forced to take another Cymbalta tablet because the nausea from withdrawal is starting which certainly isn't going to help matters. This is a nightmare. Why does this kind of thing always happen at the weekend

Sorry for all the whiny posts but I'm just a little sorry for myself and need to vent. If I say anything to anyone in RL they just freak out :rolleyes:

Gremlinertia

Alaskayoung, this is exactly what the thread is for. I'm so sorry you're going through all this.. Have you a pharmacy near you? Most provide a "talk to pharmacist" service. Perhaps something over the counter can keep you going until tomorrow..

veganrun

Didn't sleep well last night, woke up several times, still thinking about this job.

I don't know what to do. A large part of me thinks I should give my notice and start looking for other jobs, that way if I get interviews I won't have to keep taking time off to attend them.

I'm 99.9% sure I am not willing to travel as they want me to.

Gremlinertia

Veganrun, have you had a sit down with your boss to discuss this?. Sorry if you've said already, my memory is shot.. I would be uncomfortable with travelling immediately after a hire but it might be normal in that particular company. There should surely be options.

veganrun

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Veganrun, have you had a sit down with your boss to discuss this?. Sorry if you've said already, my memory is shot.. I would be uncomfortable with travelling immediately after a hire but it might be normal in that particular company. There should surely be options.

Yeah, I went and spoke to the guy directly. He told me there was an expectation that the team of people would go over for a few weeks. He said they might see if they can work around it but to be honest, he didn't fill me with confidence.

Tbh, I'm nearly thinking its not worth their while and I'd be better off trying some place else. Its a shame as I was starting to like the place but they really blind sided and sucker punched me with this. He asked had no-one mentioned the travel and I said no, and this was the first I had heard of it, which is the truth.

Part of me thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing but I feel a bit cheated. I thought I had done so well just by getting over my anxiety to start working there, then I get this. I don't think I would have taken the job had I known about this. I also have concerns that I'm going to be in over my head with the work they want me to do.

Gremlinertia

Give him a chance to work around you. You could also say you have obligations that prevent travel until you sort out alternative arrangements as you weren't forewarned about immediate travel..

veganrun

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Give him a chance to work around you. You could also say you have obligations that prevent travel until you sort out alternative arrangements as you weren't forewarned about immediate travel..

It was obvious to him that its a big issue for me so I will see what happens. I've put some feelers out for other roles to see what's out there, including contacting other companies who recently made me offers.

Gremlinertia

Good stuff. Sit tight and see how it all goes.. Now, I'm awfully sorry but I must try sleep. Back up again at three.

alaskayoung

Ended up going to the 24h GP service. Thankfully it was a Dr I already know and he was able to advise me what to do medication wise. Gave me a new prescription for Valium so I'm fine now. He was so so kind. He didn't even want to charge me even though it normally costs the guts of €80. It makes such a difference when a dr. takes the time to listen to you and genuinely cares. I totally lost trust in people these last few years and coming into contact with such compassionate people these past few months is so overwhelming.

mg1982

alaskayoung wrote: »

Ended up going to the 24h GP service. Thankfully it was a Dr I already know and he was able to advise me what to do medication wise. Gave me a new prescription for Valium so I'm fine now. He was so so kind. He didn't even want to charge me even though it normally costs the guts of €80. It makes such a difference when a dr. takes the time to listen to you and genuinely cares. I totally lost trust in people these last few years and coming into contact with such compassionate people these past few months is so overwhelming.

Thats good news AY. So glad you found a doc who listened. Did he reduce the dose of cymbalta as well.

Diamond Doll

My GP is VERY anti-valium, he just refuses to prescribe it at all. I've tried it before and it helped me through a few stressful days. I can see how it could become addictive though. It would be great to feel that floaty and confident and relaxed all of the time. I'd love to have a few of them in my bag for "emergency" times when I need to calm myself down immediately - more as a safety net, just knowing they're there, if you know what I mean.

Hugo Stiglitz

This little piggy wrote: »

My GP is VERY anti-valium, he just refuses to prescribe it at all. I've tried it before and it helped me through a few stressful days. I can see how it could become addictive though. It would be great to feel that floaty and confident and relaxed all of the time. I'd love to have a few of them in my bag for "emergency" times when I need to calm myself down immediately - more as a safety net, just knowing they're there, if you know what I mean.

My psych is the same unfortunately.

mg1982

My psych is totally again them as well. Luckily the family gp isnt. So if i go into him and tell him im not sleeping great or finding hard to relax he will give me a two week supply.

Diamond Doll

There was a woman on the hospital ward with me who was addicted to them. She had no idea - she was a middle-aged woman who came in to be treated for depression and anxiety, only to be told she also had an addiction to Valium. The withdrawals were terrible. She just had blind faith in her GP, and as long as he kept prescribing them, she kept taking them on a daily basis. So much so that she hadn't had to cope with real life for years. She had no idea they were addictive. There are definitely lazy GPs out there who just hand them out left right and centre to get rid of patients.

Having said that, personally I think that there are times when it's the best course of treatment for occasional use. It's hard to portray to a doctor just how difficult it is when you are having anxiety and panic attacks, on a day when you just need to find a way to cope to get shit done. Sometimes a short-term fix is the only option, in addition to (not instead of) long-term treatment.

veganrun

My GP prescribed them to me recently, thankfully I haven't found them addictive but I've not taken that many and I try not to.

Another doctor once prescribed me zyprexa. She said its really good for stress but isn't addictive. I found them good but since I moved, my new Dr isn't a fan of them and she said they don't usually prescribe them here.

greenfrogs

Maybe some of you remember me talking about a friend and about how I find myself dreading spending time with her. So I suggested a different activity we could do like tennis. She agreed but then changed her mind later. This actually enrages me. I have meet her loads of times to go for lunch/dinner yet the one time I want to do something different its like no. Even though I feel so lonely I want to tell her **** off.

And I wonder why I have no friends. I am really down this weekend. When I find myself having nothing to do I get really down. I become really angry and don't want to spend time with anyone. I just want to sleep. Therapy is the only thing I do these days.

freudiangirl

It's a vicious circle. I feel so low ...almost nothingness then I self harm fairly badly...It hrta to put sleeve on my arm as I hurt both sides.i have rehurt the side that was healing made other side just as raw. I had it done before I could even contemplate talking to someone first or using my skills.

I now can't bend my arm or let it touch anything without it being agony.
I now feel lots of physical pain but still nothingness.
I want to be on my own but I cannot trust myself in my room as room feels like it's closing in on me and I will hurt myself even more.

It's a bit ridiculous.

greenfrogs

I know it is not the same thing but there were times where I knew I had to be around other people as I couldn't trust myself in a room on my own. I have never self-harmed so my situation is different. But I knew I would engage in my behaviour which could be obsessively stalking someone online, sending them repeated messages, phonecalls, overthinking everything. It's different from self harm but I felt like I had lost my self control. I was damaging myself emotionally rather than physically. Things will get easier. Sometimes it will feel impossible but the need to do it will reduce. You will learn the skills to know what sets you off and to try other coping mechanisms.

carzony

We all seem to be in difficult spots at the moment.. Makes it easier, for me anyway...

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

We all seem to be in difficult spots at the moment.. Makes it easier, for me anyway...

I know what you mean man. Like it's **** that we're all a bit ****, but it shows that we're not alone in the struggle.

carzony

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I know what you mean man. Like it's **** that we're all a bit ****, but it shows that we're not alone in the struggle.

Personally, It's been next to impossible lately. Could hardly leave the house and the nervousness has been very stressful.

No wonder I spent 4 days in bed

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

Personally, It's been next to impossible lately. Could hardly leave the house and the nervousness has been very stressful.

No wonder I spent 4 days in bed

*bro-hugs* Sorry to hear that man. Anything especially on your mind there, friend?

carzony

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

*bro-hugs* Sorry to hear that man. Anything especially on your mind there, friend?

The thought of leaving the house just makes me tired. I'd happily stay here for weeks on end if possible atm..

Luckily I have no real commitments for the next week or so.