Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Roquentin

to the mod:

so you cant mention borderline or anxiety or depression i take it. this is double standards. communism, animal farm, one set of rules for one person and another set for another. if you are going to infract me for that, you are going to be busy the next few days going over the last nine thousand posts, where a mood disorder or personality disorder is mentioned. pathetic. this place is turning into the stasi with each passing day.

Roquentin

you say back on topic. how many times has depression or anxiety being mentioned on this thread????? are you going to infract them like you did to me?

Gremlinertia

Freudiangirl, there are people within the administration of hospital that can help with your case.. The way you seem to be treated is pretty awful though not unheard of.. I really hope you can stay strong. If you have problems with hse admin, try something like citizen's advice centre..

Nicole, glad to hear you're doing ok, hormones are indeed a pig to deal with, I still never manage to figure out why I'm so mad at something despite it happening the same time every time in my cycle.

scrimshanker

Oh god please stop fighting.

sam34

roquentin infracted for discussing moderation on-thread, it's a site wide rule not to do so and you've been infracted for it before, so are aware of the rule.
Any further charter breaches will result in a ban

freudiangirl

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Freudiangirl, there are people within the administration of hospital that can help with your case.. The way you seem to be treated is pretty awful though not unheard of.. I really hope you can stay strong. If you have problems with hse admin, try something like citizen's advice centre..

I honestly don't know where to turn
..change request was rejected by clinical director.

I don't know. Just going back to no support tbh.

Even my son had right idea there, first thing he said to me "bye bye mummy".
It's better for them all the less I see them.

Thinking of signing myself out next Thursday as soon as course is finished.
I'm just sick of it all.
There is no point in even trying anymore
I am only person I can depend on.

Will leave ye to it as I am in rotten humour

timecurve12

freudiangirl wrote: »

I honestly don't know where to turn
..change request was rejected by clinical director.

I don't know. Just going back to no support tbh.

Even my son had right idea there, first thing he said to me "bye bye mummy".
It's better for them all the less I see them.

Thinking of signing myself out next Thursday as soon as course is finished.
I'm just sick of it all.
There is no point in even trying anymore
I am only person I can depend on.

Will leave ye to it as I am in rotten humour

fg, I really feel for you, what a terrible situation, I can see how it would be so upsetting on top of everything else you're going through. Honestly sometimes the mental health services need a bit of cop on, not to abandon people or ignore their distress. Especially as you going through an obvious crisis. You know you can always talk to us on here, you won't be totally alone. If you like you can PM me anytime.

Gremlinertia

Freudiangirl, there's a Pieta house in Bishopstown in Cork, would that be an option?. I know I'm grasping at straws a bit here, I just want you to have somewhere else to turn.. Perhaps they can help out with hospital too. Feck knows but may be worth exploring. You don't have to leave the thread for the night either, we're here for exactly this..

timecurve12

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Freudiangirl, there's a Pieta house in Bishopstown in Cork, would that be an option?. I know I'm grasping at straws a bit here, I just want you to have somewhere else to turn.. Perhaps they can help out with hospital too. Feck knows but may be worth exploring. You don't have to leave the thread for the night either, we're here for exactly this..

Yes Pieta House are really good - understanding, kind, non judgmental. And they can advocate on your behalf with your mental health team if you would like them to.

freudiangirl

Thanks guys was with Pieta house before but had to give it up over starting dbt course.
I gave into urges and now I am calm again .
Every time I give in I draw more blood...I don't want to talk to staff so hopi g I fall asleep before they notice my arms
It's just I need to go harder to feel the level of comfort I need. Physical pain etc...
A bit of blood around the plalce alright.
I am so weak.

Gremlinertia

I think you should hook back up with pieta so.. I don't know what is going on exactly but if you ever want to talk I'm a pm away..

freudiangirl

I need a hug from my ex to make it easier but it's not an option

Monetta31

you need a hug from the next! )

scrimshanker

having a bad night here. not even sleepy but up the walls about tomorrow. nothing special on tomorrow. I miss my old laid back self.

mg1982

scrimshanker wrote: »

having a bad night here. not even sleepy but up the walls about tomorrow. nothing special on tomorrow. I miss my old laid back self.

Know the feeling all to well scrim. Climbing the walls with anxiety when theres little to be anxious about.

Gremlinertia

That's annoying Scrim, I hate when I'm agitated and no real reason to be.. Here for a chat if you wish.. Btw thanks for friend request!

Monetta31

My landlord annoys me very bad. I need to take pills to calm every day because of her. Every day she enter in the house , every day she is in garden cutting the grass , every day she search in our garbage bags!!! I hate so much this old witch!!!!!!

Gremlinertia

Monetta, there's rules about that sort of thing. There is also a forum on this site to help you. Hopefully a lease or something will help you resolve this..

In other news I have my first therapy appointment since two friends had a serious go at me last Friday.. Been looking at my diary card and it doesn't look pleasant for a number of days so it will be a rough one and all I really want is my bed because I'm exhausted. It never rains but it pours...

scrimshanker

Good luck with the appointment, grem.

freudiangirl

Monetta31 wrote: »

you need a hug from the next! )

Too soon

Diamond Doll

Meh.

Stupid anxiety pills are making me pile on the weight (well-known side effect of the ones I'm on.) In addition to the contraceptive pill which is also making me pile on the weight, and feck knows why I'm taking it, now that I'm single it seems a bit pointless.

As if I wasn't anxious enough before, seeing the scales creep up and up every morning isn't helping matters one bit! Yeah I know it shouldn't even bother me when my entire life is gone to absolute shite, but it does.

freudiangirl

Hugs to everyone here.
Hope you are feeling better scrim.
Good luck with appointment Gremlinertia.
This little piggy, I would advise you to put weighing scales out of reach and try and only weigh yourself once a week.

I am still awfully low. Just not me anymore.
Resigned to fact that things are not going to get much better anytime soon.
So tempted just to sign myself out soon...its really not worth it.

Gremlinertia

Appointment went way over time discussing the crap that happened last Friday/Saturday feel like muck after rehashing it all. This despite therapist congratulating me for attempting to use skills and managing not to go into oblivion one way or another.

alaskayoung

Went to DBT group this morning for the first time! I was the youngest there by a mile which was a little anxiety provoking but most of the people there were very friendly. I barely opened my mouth the entire time I was there but hopefully it'll get easier as time goes by. I'm proud that I managed to go though! Some of the people were really great at speaking up about their opinion on things and their own experiences which was pretty cool. Wish there were some people closer in age to me because I feel like a baby but anyway maybe in the future.

timecurve12

It's quite a revelation now that I seem to coming out of the depression I was in. I thought it would never end, it was a long one. I enjoy things now, it's strange. I just made a cup of tea and felt so contented smelling it. I listen to music and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I can't lie, my life isn't really great at the moment, and I still feel worried about the future. But I'm not drenched in that terrible darkness and despair all the time. It feels weird, but good! I hope this lasts but I'll appreciate it, if it is only ephemeral. Sorry for annoying ye all with my posts for the past few months, I was in a really bad way.

NicoleW85

That's really great to hear Timecurve. Sometimes it's just taking the time to appreciate the smallest of things that slowly helps to put some of the bigger things into perspective. How's everyone else tonight? X

The Dogs Bollix

Do you have to be clinically assessed as depressed to have a yap in here? I've never been to a doctor for depression, or anything. Not sure what they will do.

Don't know where to start? Felt rotten for so long.

Nothing is working out for me. It's not just being so low. But at what stage do you say you have enough.

I don't mean, enough, as in taking my own life. But nothing is going right in my own life. It never has. It's like as if people take one look at me and say I'm not up to it. I'm too stupid.

I'm fully qualified but doing a jobbridge internship in cleaning. Working in a profession I would like to get into but I'm not using my qualification at all. I can do more but noooo cinderalla isn't allowed.

Half my family don't talk to me. I wasn't invited to a family event earlier in the year. They get me down. They get me down anyway.

I have no self worth. Random bouts crying. Could be literally anywhere and tears start. I don't get into fits of crying. I do stop myself or find a bathroom. I was in town last week and I started crying my eyes out. That's not normal.

I'm also taking medication for something else and a side effect is depression. So I'm not sure what it is. Weather if its the medication or feeling so worthless.

I am booking a holiday next week for a pick me up. Give myself something to look forward to because I have nothing.

mg1982

The Dogs Bollix wrote: »

Do you have to be clinically assessed as depressed to have a yap in here? I've never been to a doctor for depression, or anything. Not sure what they will do.

Don't know where to start? Felt rotten for so long.

Nothing is working out for me. It's not just being so low. But at what stage do you say you have enough.

I don't mean, enough, as in taking my own life. But nothing is going right in my own life. It never has. It's like as if people take one look at me and say I'm not up to it. I'm too stupid.

I'm fully qualified but doing a jobbridge internship in cleaning. Working in a profession I would like to get into but I'm not using my qualification at all. I can do more but noooo cinderalla isn't allowed.

Half my family don't talk to me. I wasn't invited to a family event earlier in the year. They get me down. They get me down anyway.

I have no self worth. Random bouts crying. Could be literally anywhere and tears start. I don't get into fits of crying. I do stop myself or find a bathroom. I was in town last week and I started crying my eyes out. That's not normal.

I'm also taking medication for something else and a side effect is depression. So I'm not sure what it is. Weather if its the medication or feeling so worthless.

I am booking a holiday next week for a pick me up. Give myself something to look forward to because I have nothing.

You dont have to be clinically depressed to post on here so your welcome anytime to come in and get things off your chest. The crying you talk about does sound like things are getting to you and could be depression. It is possible that it could be the medication your on thats causing it but can you remember if you felt this way before you went on that tablet.

NicoleW85

The Dogs Bollix wrote: »

Do you have to be clinically assessed as depressed to have a yap in here? I've never been to a doctor for depression, or anything. Not sure what they will do.

Don't know where to start? Felt rotten for so long.

Nothing is working out for me. It's not just being so low. But at what stage do you say you have enough.

I don't mean, enough, as in taking my own life. But nothing is going right in my own life. It never has. It's like as if people take one look at me and say I'm not up to it. I'm too stupid.

I'm fully qualified but doing a jobbridge internship in cleaning. Working in a profession I would like to get into but I'm not using my qualification at all. I can do more but noooo cinderalla isn't allowed.

Half my family don't talk to me. I wasn't invited to a family event earlier in the year. They get me down. They get me down anyway.

I have no self worth. Random bouts crying. Could be literally anywhere and tears start. I don't get into fits of crying. I do stop myself or find a bathroom. I was in town last week and I started crying my eyes out. That's not normal.

I'm also taking medication for something else and a side effect is depression. So I'm not sure what it is. Weather if its the medication or feeling so worthless.

I am booking a holiday next week for a pick me up. Give myself something to look forward to because I have nothing.

Hiya, welcome to the thread! Sorry to hear you've being going through such a hard time and it sounds like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders! We're not allowed to diagnose here, however from what you've described I'd be pretty certain you have grounds to ask your GP to review your medication. Tell him/her EVERYTHING. Did the depressive 'behaviours' only start when you started on your current meds, or were you like that before? All these things will (hopefully) make it easier for them to assess your symptoms properly and (hopefully) get you on meds that help you feel better emotionally. Good luck, and please talk to us at any time! You don't have to go through this alone x

The Dogs Bollix

Thanks guys. I do have an appointment next week. So i will them how im feeling and everything. I don't think I was crying like this before being put on it.