Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Gremlinertia

Freudian, Scrim hugs to you both.. I'm on the way to a comedown myself, overtired too which will aid the deterioration of my mood, however I'm here for the night if ye want to chat..

Heatwave, never heard of the medication, but I have my fingers crossed for you.

alaskayoung

Heat_Wave wrote: »

I got an emergency application form for the DPS card so I got my medication.

Has anyone tried Valdoxan? It's new on the market.

Yes, I've been on it before. You're right, it costs an absolute fortune.

alaskayoung

scrimshanker wrote: »

Down down down today, feel like I'm crying internally if that makes any sense.

Sorry Scrim Maybe take things easy for the night, curl up and take care of yourself, get through tonight. I hope you feel a bit better in the morning x

Gremlinertia

Freudian have you thought any further about contacting pieta house to help mediate with the cork team?.

Gremlinertia

I find it curious that the self-harm is going uncommented upon.. Now I'm just your average idiot so I could be missing something but I would have thought that it would be a factor in your treatment. Why don't you email pieta and outline your situation to them?. Might aswell in case you don't get a result from your letter, just an idea..

mg1982

I find it a bit strange too that there not focusing more on the self harm aspect. Your well within your rights to ask for a change imo.

Gremlinertia

freudiangirl wrote: »

Morning all,
Still in bed. Refused my meds. My arm is quite raw this morning
I am taking control of my own path from now on. Hoping the no meds thing will make me feel a bit more.

I might be able to ge back to a sense of somewhat being me.

All I hope is they take your actions on board and do something for you. Sounds like a horrible state to be in..

NicoleW85

I really can't begin to imagine the pain you're in. I'm the biggest wimp known to man and freak out when I accidentally cut myself when chopping veg etc. it pains me to think that you can only feel a sense of relief once you cut. You poor thing, but you know yourself better than anyone so maybe a break from meds will do you no harm

veganrun

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Best of luck, Alaska!



Unfortunately at the moment many of us can't help but panic at such things. It hopefully won't always be the case though.

Did you get the whole travelling sorted out there, VR?

Yeah think its sorted now but I just hope I made the right decision and don't end up regretting not taking the other job.

Hugo Stiglitz

veganrun wrote: »

Yeah think its sorted now but I just hope I made the right decision and don't end up regretting not taking the other job.

I think you did the best thing by vocalising your objections to travelling. I seriously doubt that it was the first time that they encountered something like that, lots of people can't/won't travel for various reasons.

I'd say you won't regret it. You said that the place was going grand until that popped up, so hopefully you'll be moving onward and upward there now.

alaskayoung

freudiangirl wrote: »

They ask me "do you have thoughts of self harm?" "Have you self harmed in past few days? "

I answered yes to both...then they moved on no further comment.

My consultant is the kind to treat one thing so he focused on bpd and left my depression and self harm on the back.burner.

Thing is my self harm has intensified since starting dbt.

When you say he's focusing on your bpd, self harm is one of the core components of it, so is he not indirectly treating it? Self harm is not an illness in itself so you can't exactly treat it, you have to treat whatever is causing it to need to be used as a coping mechanism..

Roquentin

alaskayoung wrote: »

When you say he's focusing on your bpd, self harm is one of the core components of it, so is he not indirectly treating it? Self harm is not an illness in itself so you can't exactly treat it, you have to treat whatever is causing it to need to be used as a coping mechanism..

exactly. they cant stop what someone thinks. what they do is give medication in the hope that it will make ones mood improve and through improving mood, the intrusive negative thoughts should stop.

Heat_Wave

alaskayoung wrote: »

Yes, I've been on it before. You're right, it costs an absolute fortune.

How did you find it?

Ps. Boots was significantly cheaper than McCabes...

Roquentin

freudiangirl wrote: »

Well its not even being acknowledged by them. I had first conversation about it today in 3 weeks.
It's not even being recognised by them tbh.
It's like issue doesn't exist despite physical signs.

this is the way psychiatrists are. they are cold. they treat you like guinea pigs. ive seen so many at this stage im used to it. are you talking to a counsellor? they are the ones who empathize with you.

if i wanted to go out and kill someone, the psychiatrist cant give me a drug to prevent me from doing so. no such thing exists. they cannot control thoughts. what they try to control is mood and through doing that, ones thoughts become more positive towards life. like alaska young said, they try and treat the negative thoughts or the self harming through improving mood.

alaskayoung

freudiangirl wrote: »

Well its not even being acknowledged by them. I had first conversation about it today in 3 weeks.
It's not even being recognised by them tbh.
It's like issue doesn't exist despite physical signs.

This isn't unusual to be honest. A psychiatrist isn't going to stop you from doing it. All that they can do is offer you alternative coping strategies for you to turn to when you are in distress through DBT and treat the underlying mood disorder to help alleviate some of the self harm urges. You're never going to stop them completely through medication though and they can give you the tools through DBT but it's up to you to use them. From their point of view, that's as much as they can do to help you, you have to do the rest yourself if you truly want to stop. They are also very careful not to give too much attention to self harm because in a way it can encourage the person to keep engaging in the behaviour.

Believe me I know how hard it, I have had a lot of issues with self harm but after a certain point it really is up to yourself to stop. Like your psychiatrist, mine never really got involved at all, just the odd question about it. It's not really their role. She's treating my mood problems and enrolled me in a DBT programme, that's as much as she can do. I've been doing it again recently and yes, I could be using the other coping mechanisms thought to me but I am the one choosing not to. It's not her fault. I'm not making it sound easy to stop or blaming you, if it were I wouldn't be still doing it myself but I'm sorry to say if you're waiting for your psychiatrist to do something more than she is about it, you'll be waiting a long time. Also, I'm not sure how long you've been doing it before, but as far as I remember from some of your earlier posts it's a pretty recent thing. I'll just say the earlier you try to stop the easier it is. It also becomes quite addictive and can get bad pretty fast. It can start off at a few scratches and before you know it you'll be cutting to the point of needing stitches. I have extremely scarred arms now at 19 and I'll have them for the rest of my life. I don't know, just something to think about.

Also, I'm not directing this solely to you, but self harm can be a very addictive behaviour and talk of it can be extremely triggering for people. I'm not referring to statements such as "I'm currently struggling with self harm" or whatever but constantly reading about the specifics of it, where it is, when it happened, how it looks, feels etc is very difficult for people who are trying to give it up and isn't really necessary to get your point across. I't just putting it in other peoples heads. Just speaking for myself but I've been really triggered reading some of these comments here lately. I can just leave the thread but I'm sure there are lots of lurkers reading here too who could also be being affected by it. Please don't take that the wrong way, I'm just being honest..

Gremlinertia

I'm currently on a dbt course and if I self harm I actually lose my ability to call the helpline for 24 hours. At the start that freaked me out. However, it makes more sense to me now as it's a symptom as opposed to a central element of my illness. Bit of a tough pill to swallow but getting there about it..

alaskayoung

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm currently on a dbt course and if I self harm I actually lose my ability to call the helpline for 24 hours. At the start that freaked me out. However, it makes more sense to me now as it's a symptom as opposed to a central element of my illness. Bit of a tough pill to swallow but getting there about it..

How would they know if you self harmed though? Do you have to admit it yourself?

Gremlinertia

alaskayoung wrote: »

How would they know if you self harmed though? Do you have to admit it yourself?

Yes. The hardest part of all of it is admitting and facing your own truths.. It's ugly and painful but necessary to move on..

freudiangirl

alaskayoung wrote: »

This isn't unusual to be honest. A psychiatrist isn't going to stop you from doing it. All that they can do is offer you alternative coping strategies for you to turn to when you are in distress through DBT and treat the underlying mood disorder to help alleviate some of the self harm urges. You're never going to stop them completely through medication though and they can give you the tools through DBT but it's up to you to use them. From their point of view, that's as much as they can do to help you, you have to do the rest yourself if you truly want to stop. They are also very careful not to give too much attention to self harm because in a way it can encourage the person to keep engaging in the behaviour.

Believe me I know how hard it, I have had a lot of issues with self harm but after a certain point it really is up to yourself to stop. Like your psychiatrist, mine never really got involved at all, just the odd question about it. It's not really their role. She's treating my mood problems and enrolled me in a DBT programme, that's as much as she can do. I've been doing it again recently and yes, I could be using the other coping mechanisms thought to me but I am the one choosing not to. It's not her fault. I'm not making it sound easy to stop or blaming you, if it were I wouldn't be still doing it myself but I'm sorry to say if you're waiting for your psychiatrist to do something more than she is about it, you'll be waiting a long time. Also, I'm not sure how long you've been doing it before, but as far as I remember from some of your earlier posts it's a pretty recent thing. I'll just say the earlier you try to stop the easier it is. It also becomes quite addictive and can get bad pretty fast. It can start off at a few scratches and before you know it you'll be cutting to the point of needing stitches. I have extremely scarred arms now at 19 and I'll have them for the rest of my life. I don't know, just something to think about.

Also, I'm not directing this solely to you, but self harm can be a very addictive behaviour and talk of it can be extremely triggering for people. I'm not referring to statements such as "I'm currently struggling with self harm" or whatever but constantly reading about the specifics of it, where it is, when it happened, how it looks, feels etc is very difficult for people who are trying to give it up and isn't really necessary to get your point across. I't just putting it in other peoples heads. Just speaking for myself but I've been really triggered reading some of these comments here lately. I can just leave the thread but I'm sure there are lots of lurkers reading here too who could also be being affected by it. Please don't take that the wrong way, I'm just being honest..

I get ya don't mention it anymore
I know I am the problem. I need back up support alongside the dbt and it's not there.

I probably won't post here anymore

scrimshanker

freudiangirl wrote: »

I get ya don't mention it anymore
I know I am the problem. I need back up support alongside the dbt and it's not there.

I probably won't post here anymore

Hey FG,

what type of backup support do you think would help?

Gremlinertia

Freudian, it does sound like you haven't got the support you need, I think that's why I rattle on about getting citizens advice or pieta involved to help in some sort of mediation with the medial staff in Cork..

Gremlinertia

Freudian, it does sound like you haven't got the support you need, I think that's why I rattle on about getting citizens advice or pieta involved to help in some sort of mediation with the medial staff in Cork..

freudiangirl

Thanks.

I got onto Pieta.
I won't be posting on here anymore, so if someone (mods please)could delete my posts in case they trigger anyone it would be appreciated.
It's time to try and do it on my own

Thanks for all your advice.
It has been appreciated.

freudiangirl

Apologies to anyone whom I may have triggered in past few weeks. I didn't mean to.

Gremlinertia

You certainly didn't trigger me.. You'll be welcome here if you ever want to chat and I willingly remain available by pm if you would ever like to chat..

freudiangirl

Thanks but Alaska young made me aware of it

I have pm'ed the mods and asked them to delete my posts and account.

I don't want to trigger anyone. I know I.have to deal with this on my own

Gremlinertia

Oh it does happen, guess I was just trying to lessen the impact.. It would have triggered me last year.. I still think it's a pity you feel you have to leave.

scrimshanker

fg, if you feel like you can't post here or don't want to post here anymore you're always welcome to PM. I don't really have any self harming tendencies unless at my very very worst (and I'm not near that at the moment) so whatever you say won't trigger me to do anything.

You don't have to do everything by yourself. Please know that it's okay to take support from other people even if it's as little as telling them what went wrong in your day.

freudiangirl

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Oh it does happen, guess I was just trying to lessen the impact.. It would have triggered me last year.. I still think it's a pity you feel you have to leave.

It's better for everyone

Thanks though

timecurve12

freudiangirl wrote: »

It's better for everyone

Thanks though

I've always appreciated the honesty of your posts, and it helped me as I felt less alone somehow. I'm sure there's probably someone else out there who have resonated with your posts too. I think many people here know what it's like to be in a crisis, and how terrible it feels, and we would never judge anyone for it. I don't think anyone wants you to leave! I think you may have got the wrong end of the stick.