Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Hugo Stiglitz

samapple789 wrote: »

Every now and then I get these odd spells of lows and they oddist things trigger it.

Tonight I am at home watching get me to the Greek on TV and seen the year 2010 and it gives me a flash back to when I 1st watched the film and then brings back what happened to me in 2010 when I started college the 1st time around and just gives me these crazy lows and panics as I just get really bad deep breths and shakes and it lasts for a few min's at a time.

Then I end up thinking how much of a disappointment I have been and it just stays with me for the day. It has nearly been 5 years since all this happened to me and I still nearly think about it every day since then and I just don't think it will ever go away

You're the furthest thing from a disappointment, Samapple.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Not to be sounding too pessimistic or anything, I don't think I can. It's far too engrained in me at this stage.

How's the weekend treating you there, MG?

I kinda feel that way about myself too hugo. Like this is the way it will always be.

Another quiet one here. Just working on the farm and watching the football. Up to anything yourself.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

I kinda feel that way about myself too hugo. Like this is the way it will always be.

Another quiet one here. Just working on the farm and watching the football. Up to anything yourself.

I'm sure you're redeemable, MG.

Having a quiet one here. A bit boring but it is what it is!

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'm sure you're redeemable, MG.

Having a quiet one here. A bit boring but it is what it is!

Living life in the slow lane. I wouldnt have it any other way.

Gremlinertia

It's very difficult to figure out what to do when you have this type of illness. If we had some party to be at we would probably be trying to find an excuse to get out of it!. Ah the human mind - could you shut up a little please??

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's very difficult to figure out what to do when you have this type of illness. If we had some party to be at we would probably be trying to find an excuse to get out of it!. Ah the human mind - could you shut up a little please??

Gotta hate the human mind!

mg1982

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's very difficult to figure out what to do when you have this type of illness. If we had some party to be at we would probably be trying to find an excuse to get out of it!. Ah the human mind - could you shut up a little please??

Ya id be dreading going to those. But then if i didnt get an invite to one i would be deeply hurt. Go figure.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Ya id be dreading going to those. But then if i didnt get an invite to one i would be deeply hurt. Go figure.

It's a lose-lose situation! lol

greenfrogs

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's very difficult to figure out what to do when you have this type of illness. If we had some party to be at we would probably be trying to find an excuse to get out of it!. Ah the human mind - could you shut up a little please??

That is me to a tee. I get lonely and down if I have no social activities. However when I do I dread going and hope that it will be cancelled. On the off chance I have to go I hate it and am counting the time until I can leave.

I'm finding the dbt skills course hard too tbh. Some of the stuff is complicated and I'm having difficulty putting it into action. Especially considering I don't work so it's hard to use some of the stuff.

Gremlinertia

Greenfrogs, the majority of people in my dbt don't work.. I'm wondering how I'm managing at all tbh. Take your time with the course, it's big stuff to take on board and it's not an immediate fix but a matter of practice over time.. Took months for me to even accept some elements of it.. Feel free to pm whenever you want if you'd like to chat about it..

Hugo Stiglitz

I resent working sometimes as it limits me from taking part in courses like that.

CZ 453

Ooops. Misread the above.

greenfrogs

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Greenfrogs, the majority of people in my dbt don't work.. I'm wondering how I'm managing at all tbh. Take your time with the course, it's big stuff to take on board and it's not an immediate fix but a matter of practice over time.. Took months for me to even accept some elements of it.. Feel free to pm whenever you want if you'd like to chat about it..

Thanks for the offer. I don't know how you manage it either. It is tough going alongside everything else happening. I'm finding my triggers really tire and stress me out.

alaskayoung

teadrinker96 wrote: »

last night I really thought I was going to end it all. Everything in my life is going right (should be going right)- just got my first choice to study law in college , have loads of great friends , moving out soon- everyone keeps saying 'this is the best time of your life make the most of it'. And yet all I want to do is curl up in a ball and wait for life to end .I don't see the point in living -I mean when you think about it there really isn't a reason to live is there? I can't even tell my mum about how I'm feeling because I don't want her to worry . I guess this forum is all I've got haha sorry for the rant!

Could have written this exact post. Just got my 1st choice to study medicine in college and everyone is telling me how I must be on top of the world, all my dreams are coming true, what an exciting time in my life this is... I nod and smile in agreement with them all but inside I can't even make myself care anymore. I'm so miserable all the time and I can't even find anything in my life that is broken so I can even begin to try and fix it. I have no reason to be like this and that is the most despairing thought of all because if that weren't the case at least I could change whatever needs to be changed. I can't talk to the people close to me because of the worry and stress it'll cause them and I know there is nothing that they can say or do to make it any better...

Hugo Stiglitz

alaskayoung wrote: »

Could have written this exact post. Just got my 1st choice to study medicine in college and everyone is telling me how I must be on top of the world, all my dreams are coming true, what an exciting time in my life this is... I nod and smile in agreement with them all but inside I can't even make myself care anymore. I'm so miserable all the time and I can't even find anything in my life that is broken so I can even begin to try and fix it. I have no reason to be like this and that is the most despairing thought of all because if that weren't the case at least I could change whatever needs to be changed. I can't talk to the people close to me because of the worry and stress it'll cause them and I know there is nothing that they can say or do to make it any better...

Sharing with those who love you might make it easier on you though, and that support might be enough to allow you to climb out of the depression.

alaskayoung

greenfrogs wrote: »

I'm finding the dbt skills course hard too tbh. Some of the stuff is complicated and I'm having difficulty putting it into action. Especially considering I don't work so it's hard to use some of the stuff.

I'm only on my second week of it and already the amount of theory is quite overwhelming. It's one thing to be able to read and make sense of something but a whole other to be able to implement it in a real life situation, especially when the times I'd need the skills I'm probably not thinking to the utmost clarity! I think it's going to take me a long time and a lot of rereading before I'll be in a position to try and use them properly. There's a few people in my group who are on the course the second time around and they've been saying things become much clearer then but I don't know if I have the drive to do this all over again :P

greenfrogs

alaskayoung wrote: »

Could have written this exact post. Just got my 1st choice to study medicine in college and everyone is telling me how I must be on top of the world, all my dreams are coming true, what an exciting time in my life this is... I nod and smile in agreement with them all but inside I can't even make myself care anymore. I'm so miserable all the time and I can't even find anything in my life that is broken so I can even begin to try and fix it. I have no reason to be like this and that is the most despairing thought of all because if that weren't the case at least I could change whatever needs to be changed. I can't talk to the people close to me because of the worry and stress it'll cause them and I know there is nothing that they can say or do to make it any better...

It's an illness. Just like diabetes, cancer etc. I dont know what made us the way we are. Especially if we haven't suffered some trauma or abuse. It is frustrating. I don't know if this come with age or just viewing the world in a different way but money, a good job, exam results will not make a person happy, not in the long term. The only thing we can do are find ways to get us back to the way we should of been and get us the life we deserve. A lot easier said than done.

alaskayoung

greenfrogs wrote: »

It's an illness. Just like diabetes, cancer etc. I dont know what made us the way we are. Especially if we haven't suffered some trauma or abuse. It is frustrating. I don't know if this come with age or just viewing the world in a different way but money, a good job, exam results will not make a person happy, not in the long term. The only thing we can do are find ways to get us back to the way we should of been and get us the life we deserve. A lot easier said than done.

I find this even more confusing because as someone who's been diagnosed with BPD I have had no experience of the above either and anywhere you read about it, it talks about the strong correlation between the two. I feel like even more of a failure because I haven't even got a good reason to be like this.

Hugo Stiglitz

alaskayoung wrote: »

I find this even more confusing because as someone who's been diagnosed with BPD I have had no experience of the above either and anywhere you read about it, it talks about the strong correlation between the two. I feel like even more of a failure because I haven't even got a good reason to be like this.

Essentially the same here. I was always like this to a degree. I'd hate to think what way I'd be if I did have a traumatic experience.

greenfrogs

alaskayoung wrote: »

I'm only on my second week of it and already the amount of theory is quite overwhelming. It's one thing to be able to read and make sense of something but a whole other to be able to implement it in a real life situation, especially when the times I'd need the skills I'm probably not thinking to the utmost clarity! I think it's going to take me a long time and a lot of rereading before I'll be in a position to try and use them properly. There's a few people in my group who are on the course the second time around and they've been saying things become much clearer then but I don't know if I have the drive to do this all over again :P

The theory is overwhelming. I never thought there would be so much. Also I would love if the theory included personal stories to show the theory in action. Some of it is quite abstract. It depends on the therapists knowledge to explain it properly and come up with relevant scenarios which can be difficult with some of it.

There are people in my group who are on their last module, so they have done distress tolerance and emotion regulation. I compare myself to them and I feel really bad. I can't control my emotions at all and I'm beginning to wonder if I ever will. I also dont want those people to leave as they will be finishing next week and there will be new people. I dislike change but part of dbt is getting used to change. Because I have only dbt traits I will be doing the course once. Therefore I'm worried I'm not picking stuff up. Or that I'm still an unsociable sod. Hopefully once you see the benefits you will be motivated to do it again.

Hugo Stiglitz

Don't beat yerselves up, ye will get it in time I'm sure.

greenfrogs

alaskayoung wrote: »

I find this even more confusing because as someone who's been diagnosed with BPD I have had no experience of the above either and anywhere you read about it, it talks about the strong correlation between the two. I feel like even more of a failure because I haven't even got a good reason to be like this.

Sorry to make you feel bad. Neither have I. And I think that's similar to a good few other posters here. It's just something that happened. It's a combination of genetics, physiological and environmental factors.

alaskayoung

greenfrogs wrote: »

The theory is overwhelming. I never thought there would be so much. Also I would love if the theory included personal stories to show the theory in action. Some of it is quite abstract. It depends on the therapists knowledge to explain it properly and come up with relevant scenarios which can be difficult with some of it.

There are people in my group who are on their last module, so they have done distress tolerance and emotion regulation. I compare myself to them and I feel really bad. I can't control my emotions at all and I'm beginning to wonder if I ever will. I also dont want those people to leave as they will be finishing next week and there will be new people. I dislike change but part of dbt is getting used to change. Because I have only dbt traits I will be doing the course once. Therefore I'm worried I'm not picking stuff up. Or that I'm still an unsociable sod. Hopefully once you see the benefits you will be motivated to do it again.

I've just started in the middle of the programme too and missed the distress tolerance module which is quite frustrating because a huge part of the emotion regulation is using your distress tolerance skills to do that!
New people can be quite nerve-wracking but in another way it's kind of nice because it's a whole new set of people that'll give you new insights into things, their stories, how the illness affects them and the way they cope with it. The more people you can talk and relate to, it can only be the better. You never know when something someone says could really resonate you and give you a whole new way of looking at a certain aspect of something you struggle with.

alaskayoung

greenfrogs wrote: »

Sorry to make you feel bad. Neither have I. And I think that's similar to a good few other posters here. It's just something that happened. It's a combination of genetics, physiological and environmental factors.

Oh don't worry, you didn't make me feel bad at all! Just talking in general, it's something I've thought about a great deal before.
Yes, that's true. I suppose in the end it doesn't really matter what caused it because in a way it's eventually kind of irrelevant because regardless of how or why it happened, this is our reality now and we have to deal with it as best we can.

Hugo Stiglitz

Are ye doing DBT privately or referred by HSE psychiatrist?

alaskayoung

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Are ye doing DBT privately or referred by HSE psychiatrist?

I'm in the Endeavor programme ran by the HSE and do it alongside my sessions with my psychologist with them every week too. Yeah, my psychiatrist referred me to the programme.

Hugo Stiglitz

alaskayoung wrote: »

I'm in the Endeavor programme ran by the HSE and do it alongside my sessions with my psychologist with them every week too. Yeah, my psychiatrist referred me to the programme.

I imagine that's run in the daytime, yeah?

I work shifts. I'd never be able to commit to anything like that. :-/

mg1982

I actually liked the group therapy when i was doing the mindfullness course. Its just nice to be around people who are going through the same sh1tstorm you are. It just made me feel less alone. I kind of miss it in a way.

alaskayoung

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I imagine that's run in the daytime, yeah?

I work shifts. I'd never be able to commit to anything like that. :-/

Yeah it's during the day on a week day and lasts 2 hours. I know, I really think they should have it at a time that's more manageable for people who work full time. I'm going to have to skip lectures in college to be able to attend.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

I actually liked the group therapy when i was doing the mindfullness course. Its just nice to be around people who are going through the same sh1tstorm you are. It just made me feel less alone. I kind of miss it in a way.

Was that the life skills course, MG?