Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

fr336

Feeling little better now, it's weird the more tired I become the less anxious...

carzony

fr336 wrote: »

Failed college course, back on the scrapheap for a bit it seems

For the past 2 years I literally only passed my courses and I believe a lot of teachers just passed me to be nice. The Anxiety/Depression makes college extremely difficult. Even making it to college every morning was a task for me..

on another note,

Went out walking tonight and had a very strange sensation come over me. It was like I was breathing but suffocating at the same time, No matter how many deep breaths I took it just wouldnt go away.. I swiftly got back home..

Oddly enough, I am very relaxed driving around in the car but just cannot walk anywhere without panic attacks..

greenfrogs

fr336 wrote: »

Feeling little better now, it's weird the more tired I become the less anxious...

Being anxious requires so much energy. You have been used all your energy and now feel drained.

I love the feeling you get after being really anxious. When you realise that things aren't so terrible. Or maybe its just the realisation that soon you will be asleep. Being asleep makes life so much easier.

mg1982

carzony wrote: »

For the past 2 years I literally only passed my courses and I believe a lot of teachers just passed me to be nice. The Anxiety/Depression makes college extremely difficult. Even making it to college every morning was a task for me..

on another note,

Went out walking tonight and had a very strange sensation come over me. It was like I was breathing but suffocating at the same time, No matter how many deep breaths I took it just wouldnt go away.. I swiftly got back home..

Oddly enough, I am very relaxed driving around in the car but just cannot walk anywhere without panic attacks..

Sounds like a type of panic attack. I know it really effects my breathing when im really anxious. Do you find more at ease when at home and in the car?

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

Being anxious requires so much energy. You have been used all your energy and now feel drained.

I love the feeling you get after being really anxious. When you realise that things aren't so terrible. Or maybe its just the realisation that soon you will be asleep. Being asleep makes life so much easier.

Nah the sleep thing is only when I'm really worried about something specific and want to avoid the world...usually I stay up too much rather than getting too much sleep. But yes the feeling after anxiety has lifted always takes me by surprise.

greenfrogs

carzony wrote: »

Oddly enough, I am very relaxed driving around in the car but just cannot walk anywhere without panic attacks..

Do you have any idea what triggers the panic attacks.

I find sometimes that when I am in a crowd I feel that people are looking and talking about me and saying I've a fat @ss and I'm ugly. I feel like I can't breathe and just want to leave and feel so down. It can take hours to calm down. It happened last night. It puts me off gong out.

fr336

carzony wrote: »

For the past 2 years I literally only passed my courses and I believe a lot of teachers just passed me to be nice. The Anxiety/Depression makes college extremely difficult. Even making it to college every morning was a task for me..

on another note,

Went out walking tonight and had a very strange sensation come over me. It was like I was breathing but suffocating at the same time, No matter how many deep breaths I took it just wouldnt go away.. I swiftly got back home..

Oddly enough, I am very relaxed driving around in the car but just cannot walk anywhere without panic attacks..

Thanks for that, means a lot

May I ask what your diet, exercise regime etc is like? Don't want to sound nosy and I know most people in here have deep rooted issues, but for me junk food and caffeine (especially coca cola) combined with lack of exercise certainly spiked my anxiety and got me into a hole. I'm far better off without it.

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

Do you have any idea what triggers the panic attacks.

I find sometimes that when I am in a crowd I feel that people are looking and talking about me and saying I've a fat @ss and I'm ugly. I feel like I can't breathe and just want to leave and feel so down. It can take hours to calm down. It happened last night. It puts me off gong out.

Why would you think that? It sounds as you write it you don't believe it so what happens?

greenfrogs

fr336 wrote: »

Why would you think that? It sounds as you write it you don't believe it so what happens?

Last night I overhead some guy say to his friend she's painted. In my head he was talking about me, saying that I was wearing loads of make up and so I'm not pretty. I even managed to walk into a barrier as I began to get upset.

I am just really sensitive about the way I look. I was bullied in school over the way I look. I also remember one guy I used know constantly saying oh that girl's not pretty, she wears so much make up. Things just stick with me. I don't think I am ugly or fat. However I wouldn't be confident in the way I look either.

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

Last night I overhead some guy say to his friend she's painted. In my head he was talking about me, saying that I was wearing loads of make up and so I'm not pretty. I even managed to walk into a barrier as I began to get upset.

I am just really sensitive about the way I look. I was bullied in school over the way I look. I also remember one guy I used know constantly saying oh that girl's not pretty, she wears so much make up. Things just stick with me. I don't think I am ugly or fat. However I wouldn't be confident in the way I look either.

I know this is easier said than done greenfrogs but stick to the facts - you don't think you look bad, so go with that. Also, quiet confidence is so attractive whether in a romance sense or otherwise. Life's too short let's take the bull by the horns and get the most out of it. I'm fast coming to the realisation just how much about life is in the mind and how different the world can look when you've have certain epiphanies / experiences.

carzony

greenfrogs wrote: »

Do you have any idea what triggers the panic attacks.

I find sometimes that when I am in a crowd I feel that people are looking and talking about me and saying I've a fat @ss and I'm ugly. I feel like I can't breathe and just want to leave and feel so down. It can take hours to calm down. It happened last night. It puts me off gong out.

i feel people can notice my breathing difficulties and feel like everyone is looking at me.

To be honest being outside, walking seems to just trigger me off all the time now. I'm actually avoiding walking anywhere and using the car for even short journeys. The car is like a protective bubble for me and makes things a lot easier because I can just escape in it. I once had a panic attack, sat in my car for 30 seconds and felt better:eek:

The car is no magic answer though. Still, I have panic attacks in the car when with friends or family but on my own I rarely have trouble.

Honestly lads, I don't think i'd manage public transport anymore.

Hugo Stiglitz

fr336 wrote: »

Life's too short let's take the bull by the horns and get the most out of it. I'm fast coming to the realisation just how much about life is in the mind and how different the world can look when you've have certain epiphanies / experiences.

I'm rather jealous of your tenacity.

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

i feel people can notice my breathing difficulties and feel like everyone is looking at me.

To be honest being outside, walking seems to just trigger me off all the time now. I'm actually avoiding walking anywhere and using the car for even short journeys. The car is like a protective bubble for me and makes things a lot easier because I can just escape in it. I once had a panic attack, sat in my car for 30 seconds and felt better:eek:

The car is no magic answer though. Still, I have panic attacks in the car when with friends or family but on my own I rarely have trouble.

Honestly lads, I don't think i'd manage public transport anymore.

I wouldn't leave the house and go anywhere if it wasn't for my car.

fr336

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'm rather jealous of your tenacity.

Well I have two options, try my hardest (even if that fails time and time again) or give up and accept 'this'. The second option makes me shudder.

Hugo Stiglitz

fr336 wrote: »

Well I have two options, try my hardest (even if that fails time and time again) or give up and accept 'this'. The second option makes me shudder.

The second option isn't great. The first is the best but that being said, it's a tough slog.

carzony

fr336 wrote: »

Thanks for that, means a lot

May I ask what your diet, exercise regime etc is like? Don't want to sound nosy and I know most people in here have deep rooted issues, but for me junk food and caffeine (especially coca cola) combined with lack of exercise certainly spiked my anxiety and got me into a hole. I'm far better off without it.

I drink coca-cola like it's going out of fashion to be honest:( I don't drink alcohol or smoke though:D

My diet is not great simply because of $$$. I've given up fast foods and am cooking dinner at home most days but has made no difference if i'm honest.

I used to bring the dogs for an hour walk everyday but with my anxiety getting worse and car was broke for a few weeks I have seriously let that slide..


Just to add: My brother is a health freak. Eats healthy dinners everyday, goes to the gym 2 hours everyday and he recently started having worse anxiety attacks than me. Unhealthy lifestyle isnt always the problem.

fr336

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I'm rather jealous of your tenacity.

For me personally Hugo, it's crazy how easily your mind can change and even though you KNOW things can be a million times better..they were this time last week..there's another voice telling you no. It's madness. For instance a few weeks ago I was going through a semi 'ok' patch because I was lacking lots of sleep and had tiredness rather than anxiety draining me. I got hooked on this track http://www.hipstrumentals.com/2015/06/the-chemical-brothers-feat-q-tip-go-instrumental-prod-by-the-chemical-brothers/ which I still really like but now my anxiety is full on it doesn't 'cut through' at all like it did. Nothing does. Socialising (mainly online!). Eating. Drinking. My world is all SD...hell it's black and white. On the rare occasions I get out of my hole, it's HD and a half let me tell you. It's only this year I truly started to believe this after it kept happening time and time again...the danger is when you never get those shots of sunlight peering through and forget any good times at all. Hell even if your life has never been that great (and this is a big if), it can be better I firmly believe that. My worst fear tbh is not getting myself together in time and being able to catch up, or to have been in the world and not changed it in my own little ways.

carzony

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I wouldn't leave the house and go anywhere if it wasn't for my car.

It's getting like that for me now.. Not a good thing though..

fr336

carzony wrote: »

I drink coca-cola like it's going out of fashion to be honest:( I don't drink alcohol or smoke though:D

My diet is not great simply because of $$$. I've given up fast foods and am cooking dinner at home most days but has made no difference if i'm honest.

I used to bring the dogs for an hour walk everyday but with my anxiety getting worse and car was broke for a few weeks I have seriously let that slide..

Ok as you said you drink it like it's going out of fashion, I have to say even if that's not the crux of your anxiety issues it will not be helping one bit. I know this may be hard to believe even with all the research but cutting out coke for a just a few days when I was really overdoing it made such a difference - I felt like I was walking on air. These things add up. Cut some coke out, then some junk, before you know it you might have deleted most of your anxiety. And if you can be consistent with it, well who knows...

greenfrogs

carzony wrote: »

i feel people can notice my breathing difficulties and feel like everyone is looking at me.

To be honest being outside, walking seems to just trigger me off all the time now. I'm actually avoiding walking anywhere and using the car for even short journeys. The car is like a protective bubble for me and makes things a lot easier because I can just escape in it. I once had a panic attack, sat in my car for 30 seconds and felt better:eek:

The car is no magic answer though. Still, I have panic attacks in the car when with friends or family but on my own I rarely have trouble.

Honestly lads, I don't think i'd manage public transport anymore.

Maybe you see your car as your space. An extension of your room. The one place where you can shut off the world (as long as you are on your own of course).

fr336 wrote: »

Well I have two options, try my hardest (even if that fails time and time again) or give up and accept 'this'. The second option makes me shudder.

My mom would always say God loves a trier. I am not religious in any way but I like the expression. It can be a long, hard journey to get us back to the way we want to be. However as long as we keep motivated and keep trying we will get there. Even if we try and fail, we learn so much. It gives us a new perspective, new ideas, self-confidence etc.

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

My mom would always say God loves a trier. I am not religious in any way but I like the expression. It can be a long, hard journey to get us back to the way we want to be. However as long as we keep motivated and keep trying we will get there. Even if we try and fail, we learn so much. It gives us a new perspective, new ideas, self-confidence etc.

Totally. Everything I've been through has definitely been some character building. I'd never choose to go through it, even though it has set me on a few interesting roads eventually, but after the event it is good to look back at what you learnt and what others may not have. Perspectives are rather useful with helping others which is good!

carzony

fr336 wrote: »

Ok as you said you drink it like it's going out of fashion, I have to say even if that's not the crux of your anxiety issues it will not be helping one bit. I know this may be hard to believe even with all the research but cutting out coke for a just a few days when I was really overdoing it made such a difference - I felt like I was walking on air. These things add up. Cut some coke out, then some junk, before you know it you might have deleted most of your anxiety. And if you can be consistent with it, well who knows...

In my case it's a genetic thing. My father and mother suffer with severe anxiety all their lives.

As I said my Brother has a very healthy lifestyle and is now having severe anxiety issues, even worse than me by the looks of it.. He to is having trouble walking far and is using his phone, music ect to distract him..

greenfrogs

carzony wrote: »

I drink coca-cola like it's going out of fashion to be honest:( I don't drink alcohol or smoke though:D

My diet is not great simply because of $$$. I've given up fast foods and am cooking dinner at home most days but has made no difference if i'm honest.

I used to bring the dogs for an hour walk everyday but with my anxiety getting worse and car was broke for a few weeks I have seriously let that slide..


Just to add: My brother is a health freak. Eats healthy dinners everyday, goes to the gym 2 hours everyday and he recently started having worse anxiety attacks than me. Unhealthy lifestyle isnt always the problem.

I drink coke like it is going out of fashion as well. I am trying to limit it to one can a day though. It's hard. I find that it's junk food that helps me through the day. It is hard when there is nothing to do, nothing to look forward to. Food definitely helps feel something.

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

Maybe you see your car as your space. An extension of your room. The one place where you can shut off the world (as long as you are on your own of course).

I don't drive (or can't..yet...bit pathetic for my age) but I've always wanted to for this reason, even when I didn't have full blown anxiety. Also now with the anxiety I notice if I am on public transport or in a car it feels good to be moving. When it stops I get really anxious and impatient. I suppose it's a more basic form of exercise or something :P

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

I drink coke like it is going out of fashion as well. I am trying to limit it to one can a day though. It's hard. I find that it's junk food that helps me through the day. It is hard when there is nothing to do, nothing to look forward to. Food definitely helps feel something.

It's absolutely comforting. For me it's best to go cold turkey on it, coke is bloody nasty addictive. The few days, or even a week, at first can be horrid but hey not much more horrid than usual in my experience. The 'other side' can be an interesting place once you're through that first bit. Would be interested to see if it worked at all for you. The body does take time with things, though, and everyone's different, so you have to believe and keep going with it.

carzony

The car is great and in the back of your mind is ''I can get home quick if I need to'' I have a meeting of Tuesday and I don't know what i'd do if I didnt have the car.

greenfrogs

fr336 wrote: »

Totally. Everything I've been through has definitely been some character building. I'd never choose to go through it, even though it has set me on a few interesting roads eventually, but after the event it is good to look back at what you learnt and what others may not have. Perspectives are rather useful with helping others which is good!

I never thought my life would end up like this. However the last year has been eye opening. I see the world a lot differently. Of course I have bad days and days where I think I am taking steps backwards but mostly things are better. I am hoping this journey will make me a stronger, more resilient person. I am hoping it be the making of me.

fr336 wrote: »

I don't drive (or can't..yet...bit pathetic for my age) but I've always wanted to for this reason, even when I didn't have full blown anxiety. Also now with the anxiety I notice if I am on public transport or in a car it feels good to be moving. When it stops I get really anxious and impatient. I suppose it's a more basic form of exercise or something :P

I would love to go for a drive now. I can't as my car is blocked in though. I live in the country so a car gives me much needed freedom. And it is never too late to learn. I was a late starter as well.

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

I would love to go for a drive now. I can't as my car is blocked in though. I live in the country so a car gives me much needed freedom. And it is never too late to learn. I was a late starter as well.

Whereabouts do you live, if you don't mind my asking? I'm an invader to Boards not from the island :P

carzony

fr336 wrote: »

It's absolutely comforting. For me it's best to go cold turkey on it, coke is bloody nasty addictive. The few days, or even a week, at first can be horrid but hey not much more horrid than usual in my experience. The 'other side' can be an interesting place once you're through that first bit. Would be interested to see if it worked at all for you. The body does take time with things, though, and everyone's different, so you have to believe and keep going with it.

Doctors IMO try to blame everything for depression/anxiety like diet, exersise, sleep, weight, genetics, traumatic experiences, bullying ect etc.. These things may be important but I don't believe they are relevant for people suffering with high level anxiety like people on this forum.

Many millions of people have bad diets, work night shifts, lack exersize, are overweight, have bad genetics (like me:() ect etc. and never have severe problems like people here.

Maybe i'm the only one but I believe they just wanna blame anything they come up with..

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

The car is great and in the back of your mind is ''I can get home quick if I need to'' I have a meeting of Tuesday and I don't know what i'd do if I didnt have the car.

For me, having the car limits the amount of interaction while out and about, I'm sure I'd get more abuse otherwise.