Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Gremlinertia

I like dystopian or apocalyptic type books and movies.. For me the fact that other people can think this stuff up is proof I'm not alone. I felt very very alone for a long time, though this thread/you guys have helped a lot with that..

mg1982

greenfrogs wrote: »

I know this is judgmental but alcohol is a depressant. It really doesn't help the situation.

I know gf. Just sometimes at the weekend i like a few drinks just to take the edge off the anxiety.

greenfrogs

mg1982 wrote: »

I know gf. Just sometimes at the weekend i like a few drinks just to take the edge off the anxiety.

We all have things that make us relax. I use food. Alcohol makes me feel ill after a drink or two. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise.

mg1982

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I like dystopian or apocalyptic type books and movies.. For me the fact that other people can think this stuff up is proof I'm not alone. I felt very very alone for a long time, though this thread/you guys have helped a lot with that..

Me too grem. I tend to read a lot of books with a dark edge to them like Stephen King or Cormac Mcarthy.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I like dystopian or apocalyptic type books and movies.. For me the fact that other people can think this stuff up is proof I'm not alone. I felt very very alone for a long time, though this thread/you guys have helped a lot with that..

They're a great genre!

You've helped us all a lot too, Grem. x

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Me too grem. I tend to read a lot of books with a dark edge to them like Stephen King or Cormac Mcarthy.

I loved his novel The Road. Talk about depressing though! LOL

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I loved his novel The Road. Talk about depressing though! LOL

It really was. Blood meridian is another good one but also very dystopian. Its a good read and it goes with my mood lol.

scrimshanker

I remember life before this

I was such a happy child. So relaxed, a little awkward and shy but happy with so much potential.

Although I technically have only been diagnosed with GAD for a week, I do think it goes back further. Hell, I remember planning to kill myself as a teenager...

Adjusting to secondary school wasn't hugely successful, and at the same time puberty hit and was difficult to deal with, then I became obsessed with my sexual orientation and the fear I was anything other than 100% straight, then I wound up involved with a guy 15 years older than me.

I wonder what life would have been like if I hadn't found that one forum.

A couple of times I've felt like I used to feel as a kid, xanax induced of course, but I remember how light I felt, how carefree, how it just seemed like there was no reason to think anything bad would happen and I had implicit self belief. All my worries melted away.

I don't think I'll ever feel that again. Too much water under the bridge. I may be happy again, that is possible, but life changes you, I'm a different person now and I'll never be able to erase so many things. So I suppose I can't aim to make that drug induced freedom my permanent future state. It can't ever happen. I just have to aim to find a new way to be happy and confident in life, I don't think it will feel the same, but I hope I can be content.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

It really was. Blood meridian is another good one but also very dystopian. Its a good read and it goes with my mood lol.

I must check it out. Cheers, MG.

scrimshanker wrote: »

I have to aim to find a new way to be happy and confident in life, I don't think it will feel the same, but I hope I can be content.

That's the end goal for us all in here, I'd imagine. I really hope you get there, Scrim.

Gremlinertia

Really I just want to be a more manageable me, one that doesn't constantly look through the glass darkly at everything.. I don't think I ever use the word cured in relation to me, just more able for life..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Really I just want to be a more manageable me, one that doesn't constantly look through the glass darkly at everything.. I don't think I ever use the word cured in relation to me, just more able for life..

Me too, Grem.

I can't afford to keep on having newly acquired people cutting me off for being too mopey, bitter and negative.

I hope we all, if a cure isn't to be found, are able to accept ourselves and to be better able to cope with our emotions.

Gremlinertia

My problem for years was reaching for far too much.. Always looking to leap buildings in a single bound instead of just managing to shower on a regular basis. Setting myself up to fail..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

My problem for years was reaching for far too much.. Always looking to leap buildings in a single bound instead of just managing to shower on a regular basis. Setting myself up to fail..

Sometimes even the most basic goals we're doomed to fail. Like stuff that "normal" people don't even think twice about.

Gremlinertia

I dunno Hugo, there are plenty of 'normal' people who can't do things like me, there's people like me who can do things I can't, I don't think any of this illness is terribly quantifiable which makes it so bloody difficult to diagnose and treat.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I dunno Hugo, there are plenty of 'normal' people who can't do things like me, there's people like me who can do things I can't, I don't think any of this illness is terribly quantifiable which makes it so bloody difficult to diagnose and treat.

Well argued, G.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Well argued, G.

I think I'm just trying to convince myself tbh!

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I think I'm just trying to convince myself tbh!

*hugs*

Hugo Stiglitz

Anyone else here have a big issue with rejection and fear of rejection or abandonment?

freudiangirl

Took meds about 10 ish-saturday night. At 11pm, I felt really funny. My heart was quicker, breathing shallow.had this weird feeling of confusion. As if I was in different dimension, very vivid and colourful. Felt out of it and out of touch with reality. It was like I was out of control . I am finding it hard to explain it. It was bright and scary. I found I couldn't bring myself back .
I still feel out of it.
It's weird. I feel totally confused and on edge

Any idea?

mg1982

freudiangirl wrote: »

Took meds about 10 ish-saturday night. At 11pm, I felt really funny. My heart was quicker, breathing shallow.had this weird feeling of confusion. As if I was in different dimension, very vivid and colourful. Felt out of it and out of touch with reality. It was like I was out of control . I am finding it hard to explain it. It was bright and scary. I found I couldn't bring myself back .
I still feel out of it.
It's weird. I feel totally confused and on edge

Any idea?

What meds were you taking fg if you dont mind me asking? Some meds can make you feel spaced out. It sounds like dissociation where things start feeling unreal. Its not an uncommon symptom with mental illness or strong medication.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Anyone else here have a big issue with rejection and fear of rejection or abandonment?

I definitley have issues with rejection. Have an irrational fear of it.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

I definitley have issues with rejection. Have an irrational fear of it.

Same man. It's always there in the back of my mind. I'm always trying my best to please people and it just comes across as clingy I think.

It makes internet dating a tiring experience too.

Euphoria Intensifies

Gremlinertia wrote: »

My problem for years was reaching for far too much.. Always looking to leap buildings in a single bound instead of just managing to shower on a regular basis. Setting myself up to fail..

This is a big issue for me. I know in my case it's definitely linked to perfectionism - I want it all and I want it now (like that Queen song ). And everything perfect. So I guess I just need to work on breaking that thought pattern.

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

This is a big issue for me. I know in my case it's definitely linked to perfectionism - I want it all and I want it now (like that Queen song ). And everything perfect. So I guess I just need to work on breaking that thought pattern.

Nice reference there, EI!

I know what you mean. My psych said that it's like an OCD trait at times. Can be common enough in people with anxiety issues.

scrimshanker

Work tomorrow. Freaking out

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Work tomorrow. Freaking out

You can do this, Scrim! You've done it before, so this is all gravy.

Best of luck with it, pet. x

Gremlinertia

Hugs for you all guys, funny how Sunday seems to be a draggy kinda misery for us all. No matter what your status regarding work, relationship or family it just seems to be a great leveller..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hugs for you all guys, funny how Sunday seems to be a draggy kinda misery for us all. No matter what your status regarding work, relationship or family it just seems to be a great leveller..

Well said there, Grem.

Hugo Stiglitz

I've been obsessing over my interactions with people, or a lack of thereof, lately.

I just can't relate to the vast majority of people. Like at all. I've largely stopped trying in work the past month or so. Just sitting out in the smoking area rather than in the canteen.

I'm lonely, but just can't connect with people.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I've been obsessing over my interactions with people, or a lack of thereof, lately.

I just can't relate to the vast majority of people. Like at all. I've largely stopped trying in work the past month or so. Just sitting out in the smoking area rather than in the canteen.

I'm lonely, but just can't connect with people.

I know how you feel hugo. It feels like been on a different wavelength to everyone. It is hard in the workplace to make friends, i think most people these days like to just go in and do there days work and go home. You will have a certain amount of interaction but not in any meaningful sense so making friends is hard.