Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Roquentin

northgirl wrote: »

Feel the same. Feel like I don't know what happened to me or where I've gone and can't seem to find my way back. I know I have to move forward but it's almost like finding a new identity. Things that used to come easy to me are now difficult and it's frustrating me no end. Sometimes I wish I could just stop thinking for a while.. even the dreams are usually crazy.

http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/identitycrisis.htm

cloud493

At this point I'm fairly convinced I'm just a big lumpy eejit with no personality who no one could possibly like and the friends I've had in the past were either having a laugh at me behind my back or humouring me for whatever reasons. I'm really not interesting.

Roquentin

chinacup wrote: »

I'm like that too sometimes but to the point that I won't open my mouth for days at a time. Basically at college I didn't make any friends until people approached me and decided I was going to lunch with them :P

alogia

northgirl

Laois6556 wrote: »

Was it just into adulthood that ye started feeling like this or were there signs during your teenage years?

As long as I can remember have felt very unsettled but late teens probably started to manifest more - in early 30's now

chinacup

its a relief and also a little discomforting to hear people echoe back a similar POV. I've had identity crisis's for as long as I can remember. I think it started around puberty especially but there were signs before that.

Laois6556

northgirl wrote: »

As long as I can remember have felt very unsettled but late teens probably started to manifest more - in early 30's now

Yeah I'm the same. Sometimes I had thoughts that I was a bit different but it only really became apparent at the same age as you.

chinacup

cloud493 wrote: »

I'm psyching myself out for college again tomorrow. I can go to work no bother, but college isn't working for me.

Hang in there, been close to dropping out so many times myself now but then a few things turned around and I realised it wasn't as awful as I thought it was. Are there specific problems getting you down re college?

cloud493

The thought of it makes me anxious and start to worry. And even when I force myself to get up and go, its not better.

northgirl

chinacup wrote: »

its a relief and also a little discomforting to hear people echoe back a similar POV. I've had identity crisis's for as long as I can remember. I think it started around puberty especially but there were signs before that.

I find it helps too to know there are others feeling similarly but wouldn't wish it on anyone at the same time.

Call Me Jimmy

I was comforted just by someone posting the identity crisis link. I think with more time to think than most, we are more likely to reflect more deeply on it, but others probably feel it too.

My question at the moment is I don't know if I want to commit to one identity. At the moment in front of friends I am still my same old self, but I wonder if a buddhist style 'no-self' or at least little attachment to any identity is possible. Or a chameleon style where you can consciously and happily slip in and out and continue life like that.

What's problematic is how much I like my old self, almost idolise him. Definitely unhealthy and something I will have to move past

chinacup

cloud493 wrote: »

The thought of it makes me anxious and start to worry. And even when I force myself to get up and go, its not better.

I can totally relate, have the same exact feelings cloud. I try to put reasons behind it and if there is an obvious problem that could be contributing, try to change it. For me it was lack of making friends and falling behind on work. Two girls then decided to befriend me and always come looking for me now so that's been somewhat of a relief although its also causing more anxiety as I worry they will find out how weird I am and we will get bored of each other. Then the work, I was panicked over not doing the homework over the weekend then came into class and turned out to be the only person who's even done some of it! So those two things have stopped me dropping out for now. & I made an appointment with the counsellor for Friday. So maybe things will turn around for you or there might be something you can do to alleviate the anxiety somewhat?

chinacup

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I was comforted just by someone posting the identity crisis link. I think with more time to think than most, we are more likely to reflect more deeply on it, but others probably feel it too.

My question at the moment is I don't know if I want to commit to one identity. At the moment in front of friends I am still my same old self, but I wonder if a buddhist style 'no-self' or at least little attachment to any identity is possible. Or a chameleon style where you can consciously and happily slip in and out and continue life like that.

What's problematic is how much I like my old self, almost idolise him. Definitely unhealthy and something I will have to move past

I came close to creating an identity I was proud of once, now I stay bland..

Call Me Jimmy

Care to elaborate?

Hugo Stiglitz

Laois6556 wrote: »

Was it just into adulthood that ye started feeling like this or were there signs during your teenage years?

northgirl wrote: »

As long as I can remember have felt very unsettled but late teens probably started to manifest more - in early 30's now

All this manifested just as I turned 18 however looking back over my life I've always been scared and unhappy.

shezer wrote: »

Anyone find themselves trying to be overly nice or passive to people who act the complete bollocks? When really what you need to do is give them a good kick in the arse. Pretending to be someone you're not.

I try to be very polite to everyone, even those pricks who antagonise me. Sometimes though, the urge to let rip rises to the surface and it can be very difficult to see past the rage.

Roquentin

shezer wrote: »

Anyone find themselves trying to be overly nice or passive to people who act the complete bollocks? When really what you need to do is give them a good kick in the arse. Pretending to be someone you're not.

i did when younger........grew up and just started ignoring them and they ignored me

Roquentin

self respect is important......dont be afraid to walk by someone and not greet them if they are being a prick

Roquentin

shezer wrote: »

I'm not talking just about people I know. It annoys me being nice to people in general and they are taking it as a weakness and taking advantage.

i used get asked for cigarettes by strangers...... I just say no....

chinacup

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Care to elaborate?

You say you idealise your past self, well I never really had one to idealise. Just briefly I was happy with my personality but it didn't last I couldn't keep up the witty comments and couldn't stay in a dominant position so I now just sort of submit and let other people shine. Hate it though.

Call Me Jimmy

It can be tiring, but I have to admit it is like a drug (literally social validation releases tonnes of dopamine) and yea letting other people shine can mean ye can feel a bit... unnecessary?

I find it hard to strike a balance, in recent years I've tried to be more passive, to enjoy what other people are saying, my friends are really funny, but maybe because of feeling so low I find it hard to be relaxed enough to listen and laugh. My earliest school memory was being called over cause a girl was crying and I already had the joker reputation so I did funny news items to make her laugh. And I've sorta kept that up a little too long.

Never posted in here before.

My anxiety problems are probably a fair bit different than most here.

I first had it at the age of 15 when I had a bad trip off magic mushrooms.

It's a panic attack on another level to anything you'd get in normal life.

Anyway to move things on, as someone who smoked ''cannabis'' a long time before that event I found I was getting anxiety a lot more from smoking after evening.

I stopped smoking eventually at the age of 18 until 21 after a fair while of not enjoying it and getting anxious.

At 21 or so I got sucked back into it.

I get the odd point where I feel a bit overwhelmed but I've learned by now it's just my body throwing emotions and my head thinks something worse is happening.

Anyway to get to the point of my post.

I'm 28 now, but around the point of 25 I started to develop a sleeping problem.
Basically when laying in bed at night my mind developed an unhealthy fixation of worrying about my heart(I was having mild ''chest pains'' at the time and when going to bed my head would multiply the severity of it, my doctor cleared it up for me but it still didn't ease my worries)..... so much so it was taking 2-5 hours to sleep each night.

I eventually got over this by listening to something easy going when falling asleep.
I've had to continue this process ever since.

If I try to sleep in silence I find myself worrying about death/dying far too much and I end up spending hours tossing and turning.

Anyway does anyone else find themselves suffering anxiety in a similar way - sleep/night time and a fear of death.

I find I get this surge of energy through me at times when trying to sleep that reminds me a dying experience.

Has anyone experienced this?

I have to say, it's a horrible feeling.

I've had it to different levels, sometimes mildly like a ''i left the cooker'' on kind of realisation and other times like literally a feeling descending upon you like you're watching accident happen and you become fixated in the moment.

Has anyone experienced this?... I never get it during the day and mostly since I started to listen to stuff when I head to sleep I don't get it.

But sometimes it just happens anyway and it's such a weird feeling... when it descends it's more or less like you feel as though you're about to die/could die and it's how you'll feel when that actually happens and you realise it..... wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Call Me Jimmy

gilberto_eire wrote: »

Never posted in here before.

My anxiety problems are probably a fair bit different than most here.

I first had it at the age of 15 when I had a bad trip off magic mushrooms.

It's a panic attack on another level to anything you'd get in normal life.

Anyway to move things on, as someone who smoked ''cannabis'' a long time before that event I found I was getting anxiety a lot more from smoking after evening.

I stopped smoking eventually at the age of 18 until 21 after a fair while of not enjoying it and getting anxious.

At 21 or so I got sucked back into it.

I get the odd point where I feel a bit overwhelmed but I've learned by now it's just my body throwing emotions and my head thinks something worse is happening.

Anyway to get to the point of my post.

I'm 28 now, but around the point of 25 I started to develop a sleeping problem.
Basically when laying in bed at night my mind developed an unhealthy fixation of worrying about my heart(I was having mild ''chest pains'' at the time and when going to bed my head would multiply the severity of it, my doctor cleared it up for me but it still didn't ease my worries)..... so much so it was taking 2-5 hours to sleep each night.

I eventually got over this by listening to something easy going when falling asleep.
I've had to continue this process ever since.

If I try to sleep in silence I find myself worrying about death/dying far too much and I end up spending hours tossing and turning.

Anyway does anyone else find themselves suffering anxiety in a similar way - sleep/night time and a fear of death.

I find I get this surge of energy through me at times when trying to sleep that reminds me a dying experience.

Has anyone experienced this?

I have to say, it's a horrible feeling.

I've had it to different levels, sometimes mildly like a ''i left the cooker'' on kind of realisation and other times like literally a feeling descending upon you like you're watching accident happen and you become fixated in the moment.

Has anyone experienced this?... I never get it during the day and mostly since I started to listen to stuff when I head to sleep I don't get it.

But sometimes it just happens anyway and it's such a weird feeling... when it descends it's more or less like you feel as though you're about to die/could die and it's how you'll feel when that actually happens and you realise it..... wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Don't want to sound like I'm just trying to relate to everyone here but yes

As a teenager I started worrying about heart attacks and recently my mind is blown daily (if only everything was) by the thought of death, just the sheer boggleness of it. I think about how fragile my body is to the point where I'm afraid to fill my lungs with a full breath.

One thing to remember though is that it's a physical symptom of the nervous system that you notice and THEN after that your brain tries to find out the reason. So it's usually not the things we are thinking about that make us anxious, the anxiety comes and then we try to justify it.

Self Help For Your Nerves is a very good book for grounding anxiety in its physiology.

Call Me Jimmy

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Don't want to sound like I'm just trying to relate to everyone here but yes

As a teenager I started worrying about heart attacks and recently my mind is blown daily (if only everything was) by the thought of death, just the sheer boggleness of it. I think about how fragile my body is to the point where I'm afraid to fill my lungs with a full breath.

One thing to remember though is that it's a physical symptom of the nervous system that you notice and THEN after that your brain tries to find out the reason. So it's usually not the things we are thinking about that make us anxious, the anxiety comes and then we try to justify it.

Self Help For Your Nerves is a very good book for grounding anxiety in its physiology.

I can't understand why I got such a bad fixation on my heart.

A few years ago, I always thought I'd rather die of that then cancer.
I've done a complete turn on that anyway since my sleeping problem started.

I was never overly worried that the chest pains were heart related, but once they happened at bed time, in the silence, it just lead to anxiety and worry ''what about the day it might happen... this is how I'll feel''

Thankfully I'm not overly concerned about death in other ways, it doesn't effect me doing things that ''might'' result in death.

I have tried to manage my diet ever since, cut down on saturated fats and the likes.

I am generally good at managing anxiety and cutting it out before I have a full blown panic attack.

But I just don't understand the energy surge I get at bedtime occasionally.
It's such a horrible feeling and impossible to overlook/avoid.

It's kind of similar to those dreams you have where you're drifting and wake with a fright(falling or stuck in the spot) but on a lesser degree.

I'd more or less call what I mainly have problems with... Night Terrors though the definition of that is not related.
It's more related in it's name than the symptoms.

kronsington

northgirl wrote: »

As long as I can remember have felt very unsettled but late teens probably started to manifest more - in early 30's now

Exact same

CZ 453

Do you know what would be handy at this hour....One of those tube things that people sleep in. The ones in the Sci-Fi shows. In you go and it's goodnight Vienna

Esel

shezer wrote: »

Do you know what would be handy at this hour....One of those tube things that people sleep in. The ones in the Sci-Fi shows. In you go and it's goodnight Vienna

Sleeping bag?

cloud493

A sleeping pod of some sort?

Killer_banana

Esel wrote: »

I read between the lines there. Well done.

Thanks but you're reading something that isn't there. Wasn't meant to mean anything.

CZ 453

Killer_banana wrote: »

Thanks but you're reading something that isn't there. Wasn't meant to mean anything.

How are ya today Killer Banana?

guitarzero

gilberto_eire wrote: »

Never posted in here before.

My anxiety problems are probably a fair bit different than most here.

I first had it at the age of 15 when I had a bad trip off magic mushrooms.

It's a panic attack on another level to anything you'd get in normal life.

Anyway to move things on, as someone who smoked ''cannabis'' a long time before that event I found I was getting anxiety a lot more from smoking after evening.

I stopped smoking eventually at the age of 18 until 21 after a fair while of not enjoying it and getting anxious.

At 21 or so I got sucked back into it.

I get the odd point where I feel a bit overwhelmed but I've learned by now it's just my body throwing emotions and my head thinks something worse is happening.

Anyway to get to the point of my post.

I'm 28 now, but around the point of 25 I started to develop a sleeping problem.
Basically when laying in bed at night my mind developed an unhealthy fixation of worrying about my heart(I was having mild ''chest pains'' at the time and when going to bed my head would multiply the severity of it, my doctor cleared it up for me but it still didn't ease my worries)..... so much so it was taking 2-5 hours to sleep each night.

I eventually got over this by listening to something easy going when falling asleep.
I've had to continue this process ever since.

If I try to sleep in silence I find myself worrying about death/dying far too much and I end up spending hours tossing and turning.

Anyway does anyone else find themselves suffering anxiety in a similar way - sleep/night time and a fear of death.

I find I get this surge of energy through me at times when trying to sleep that reminds me a dying experience.

Has anyone experienced this?

I have to say, it's a horrible feeling.

I've had it to different levels, sometimes mildly like a ''i left the cooker'' on kind of realisation and other times like literally a feeling descending upon you like you're watching accident happen and you become fixated in the moment.

Has anyone experienced this?... I never get it during the day and mostly since I started to listen to stuff when I head to sleep I don't get it.

But sometimes it just happens anyway and it's such a weird feeling... when it descends it's more or less like you feel as though you're about to die/could die and it's how you'll feel when that actually happens and you realise it..... wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Hey man, yep, I've had these symptoms in recent times. I had a bad trip about 3 months ago and it's been the cause of a lot of anxiety, panic and fear of death. But in the last year I've had that feeling you talk about at waking up at night on about 4 occasions. For me its like a weakness in my body and a strange, death-like feeling, like this sour feeling down my back, neck and head, very strange and very frightening. I thought it was something neurological but I'm pretty sure its all anxiety related as it passes pretty soon after waking up. I have'nt experienced it in a good while thank god.

Best thing to do is address the issues, not to feed them but to counter them. I've been socializing more often and taking care what what I'm eating, diet etc. Do things that dont feed your problems.

cookie24

cookie24 wrote: »

Got myself an interview for Thursday.The anxiety is already hitting along with that damned inner voice....'dont go, you'll make a fool of yourself, you'll fail, etc'.
Am trying hard to combat that inner voice, and psych myself up for the interview. Just hope when Thurs morning comes around I'm strong enough to bite the bullet and go.

**** you anxiety. I hate you so much and what you've done to my life to date.

So my mum is coming to take me to the interview. No escape now. Anxiety is building steadily
Pray for me please?

I also just had a blood test for my thyroid gland. Anyone had severe anxiety due to thyroid gland imbalance?
Maybe I'm just looking for a physical cause for a mental problem.

ETA: will report back tomorrow