Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

handbagmad

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

You do have a purpose H

thanks Hugo. Don't feel much like it though I have to say.

loveisdivine

Had been feeling quite good the last couple of days. Even managed to pull myself out of the bed and go to the gym before work this morning, but weirdly it seems to have made me feel a little worse! I think boredom at work doesn't help either though.

Oh well, I'll just keep pushing through.

cookie24

CZ 453 wrote: »

Have had weird dreams the last week. I have had palpitations that are waking me also in the middle of the night. The joys of meds ehhhh.

Every morning I have severe hand tremors...blaming that on the meds

I've decided to make a change....inhale the positivity, exhale the negativity!! 2 interviews tomorrow so trying to get psyched up. Also going in with a different attitude- they have to impress me, they must want me, etc.

Maybe its the meds but I'm feeling great now, like I could take on the world. Bring it on interviews!!! Its time for cookie to change his life around

I hope

Gongoozler

Good on ya for getting so many interviews Cookie. That's 3/4 the battle! Good luck with them.

Gave myself another almost panic attack this morning - getting very worked up about a couple of things. Felt like I couldn't breathe, couldn't catch my breath for a while. Only one person saw, so that's good. Then I spoke to someone about trying to sort out the issue. I wrote an email which was to sort out the issue, but I'm not sure how it's gone down, I haven't got a response. Some parts of my job drive me absolutely nuts. Well the management rather than my job. Always about the management. It's tough, very tough.

donutheadhomer

hi all

I could be going into st patrick's hospital dublin as a patient - whats it like in there?. It looks quite old from the outside and I was reading it costs a fortune to stay in there lucky I've insurance- are all the rooms private?

handbagmad

donutheadhomer wrote: »

hi all

I could be going into st patrick's hospital dublin as a patient - whats it like in there?. It looks quite old from the outside and I was reading it costs a fortune to stay in there lucky I've insurance- are all the rooms private?

I don't have experience personally but I have heard great things about st pats.

but I wish you well from the bottom of my heart.

CZ 453

cookie24 wrote: »

Every morning I have severe hand tremors...blaming that on the meds

I've decided to make a change....inhale the positivity, exhale the negativity!! 2 interviews tomorrow so trying to get psyched up. Also going in with a different attitude- they have to impress me, they must want me, etc.

Maybe its the meds but I'm feeling great now, like I could take on the world. Bring it on interviews!!! Its time for cookie to change his life around

I hope

Best of luck tomorrow....:)

itsnotmyname

Don't know if its just coincidence, but since the evenings have got longer, I can feel my mood dipping again. I've had months of feeling fine , and then bam ...mundane stuff that never caused any issues , become problematic and tearfulness is never too far away .

cookie24

itsnotmyname wrote: »

Don't know if its just coincidence, but since the evenings have got longer, I can feel my mood dipping again. I've had months of feeling fine , and then bam ...mundane stuff that never caused any issues , become problematic and tearfulness is never too far away .

SAD....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

best of luck. and tears aren't always bad.

cookie24

Guys, thanks for all the support, really appreciate it. And you actually made me feel more confident so thank you all very much.

Took 2 valium before 1st interview and it went fine. No sweating this time. Voice shaking a little bit. Still have problem of my breathing while speaking...I kinda get breathless or something when I'm talking for more than 30 seconds. Anyone experience this?

On the way to the 2nd interview I realised I forgot to take another 2 valium. Panic for a few minutes, until I talked myself round. It also went fine. Aside from same breathless issue highlighted above.

Not gonna get my hopes up, but 4 interviews in and I can definitely see improvement. Baby steps, thats gonna be my mantra till I beat this thing.
And I wish all the success in the world to all you guys out there.

timecurve12

Hi guys. I was lurking but thought I would register and join in. I feel really alone at the moment. I cry a lot. I'm lucky enough to be seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, but I'm not doing well. I have no desire for anything in life anymore. I don't even want to get better. I feel really trapped and like no one cares. My psychiatrist doesn't think I need medication, I trust her because she seems like she knows what she's talking about. I also don't want to be on loads of medication (I do take a anti depressant prescribed to me by another doctor). It's just I'm falling into a deep hole and I don't know how to stop. I'm obviously getting help and I have done counselling but I'm still falling. I don't have much energy to start doing activities and hobbies etc. I feel like I'm living in a bad dream, things just keep getting worse. I obviously don't want to destroy my family by taking my life, but it's like an impossible choice. Does anyone have any advice?

CZ 453

timecurve12 wrote: »

Hi guys. I was lurking but thought I would register and join in. I feel really alone at the moment. I cry a lot. I'm lucky enough to be seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, but I'm not doing well. I have no desire for anything in life anymore. I don't even want to get better. I feel really trapped and like no one cares. My psychiatrist doesn't think I need medication, I trust her because she seems like she knows what she's talking about. I also don't want to be on loads of medication (I do take a anti depressant prescribed to me by another doctor). It's just I'm falling into a deep hole and I don't know how to stop. I'm obviously getting help and I have done counselling but I'm still falling. I don't have much energy to start doing activities and hobbies etc. I feel like I'm living in a bad dream, things just keep getting worse. I obviously don't want to destroy my family by taking my life, but it's like an impossible choice. Does anyone have any advice?

Everything will be alright. You took another little step in the right direction trying to talk about things here(your first right steps being going to the GP, Psychs and counselling)

Can you tell us a bit more about yourself? When did it all start? What age are you? Anything at all that you can tell us that you'll be comfortable telling us.

cookie24

timecurve12 wrote: »

Hi guys. I was lurking but thought I would register and join in. I feel really alone at the moment. I cry a lot. I'm lucky enough to be seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, but I'm not doing well. I have no desire for anything in life anymore. I don't even want to get better. I feel really trapped and like no one cares. My psychiatrist doesn't think I need medication, I trust her because she seems like she knows what she's talking about. I also don't want to be on loads of medication (I do take a anti depressant prescribed to me by another doctor). It's just I'm falling into a deep hole and I don't know how to stop. I'm obviously getting help and I have done counselling but I'm still falling. I don't have much energy to start doing activities and hobbies etc. I feel like I'm living in a bad dream, things just keep getting worse. I obviously don't want to destroy my family by taking my life, but it's like an impossible choice. Does anyone have any advice?

Sorry to hear you're doing so bad, and hope you get well soon. I have no real advice to offer, but there are loads of support groups out there. Have you brought this up with your docs?
Even getting outside for a walk can do wonders for you. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

timecurve12

CZ 453 wrote: »

Everything will be alright. You took another little step in the right direction trying to talk about things here(your first right steps being going to the GP, Psychs and counselling)

Can you tell us a bit more about yourself? When did it all start? What age are you? Anything at all that you can tell us that you'll be comfortable telling us.

Early twenties, college student. Due to bad luck and other reasons I have few friends, don't get to see my family much. So I don't have much support. I know I need to get out there and live life, make an effort to change things, make new friends but I just want to lie in bed all the time, and anything going wrong almost kills me inside. It's like I have no emotional barrier when I'm in this sort of mood. I feel like I have no strength to try anymore. Thanks for your reply CZ.

timecurve12

cookie24 wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're doing so bad, and hope you get well soon. I have no real advice to offer, but there are loads of support groups out there. Have you brought this up with your docs?
Even getting outside for a walk can do wonders for you. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I kind of have, I just don't think they can do anything, apart from listen, and I'm afraid of being put in a mental hospital. I may go for a walk tomorrow, it's just I sometimes start crying and have to breathe deeply to stop myself. The thing is, I think maybe the problem is permanent in my case. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I'm not sure if it's depression or just feeling sad about things going wrong.

cookie24

timecurve12 wrote: »

I kind of have, I just don't think they can do anything, apart from listen, and I'm afraid of being put in a mental hospital. I may go for a walk tomorrow, it's just I sometimes start crying and have to breathe deeply to stop myself. The thing is, I think maybe the problem is permanent in my case. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I'm not sure if it's depression or just feeling sad about things going wrong.

I had suicidal tendencies a few years ago and believe me, you can get through it. Explain to your docs how you're feeling, they may change your meds. Exercise (or any hobby really) is great.
Could you join a society in college? Keeping active is important. And keep your thoughts positive. As I said a few posts back 'inhale the positivity, exhale the negativity', and sometimes a good cry is needed.

timecurve12

cookie24 wrote: »

I had suicidal tendencies a few years ago and believe me, you can get through it. Explain to your docs how you're feeling, they may change your meds. Exercise (or any hobby really) is great.
Could you join a society in college? Keeping active is important. And keep your thoughts positive. As I said a few posts back 'inhale the positivity, exhale the negativity', and sometimes a good cry is needed.

I'm really unhappy in college, I know I need to do something but I'm so lost there. I don't have the confidence to join a society right now, it may sound like an excuse. Thanks for replying, that's good advice about trying to keep positive, I tend to focus on the negative myself. It just feels like I'm feeling around in the dark, with all these techniques for coping sometime. I don't know how people cope with depression I really don't.

CZ 453

timecurve12 wrote: »

Early twenties, college student. Due to bad luck and other reasons I have few friends, don't get to see my family much. So I don't have much support. I know I need to get out there and live life, make an effort to change things, make new friends but I just want to lie in bed all the time, and anything going wrong almost kills me inside. It's like I have no emotional barrier when I'm in this sort of mood. I feel like I have no strength to try anymore. Thanks for your reply CZ.

You have your GP, Counselling service, Psychs, your family, few friends and us lot on here. Plenty of support.

Is making friends a problem? Or is it getting out of the bed? or both? What is it you want to change?

One friend is better than 30 acquaintances.

What is it that is going wrong? Your efforts at doing anything or making friends?

Are you holding yourself to a certain standard that you don't think you are meeting?

timecurve12

cookie24 wrote: »

I had suicidal tendencies a few years ago and believe me, you can get through it. Explain to your docs how you're feeling, they may change your meds. Exercise (or any hobby really) is great.
Could you join a society in college? Keeping active is important. And keep your thoughts positive. As I said a few posts back 'inhale the positivity, exhale the negativity', and sometimes a good cry is needed.

I'm really unhappy in college, I know I need to do something about it but I'm so lost there. I don't have the confidence to join a society right now, it may sound like an excuse. Thanks for replying, that's good advice about trying to keep positive, I tend to focus on the negative myself. It just feels like I'm feeling around in the dark, with all these techniques for coping sometime. I don't know how people cope with depression I really don't.

timecurve12

Double post

cookie24

timecurve12 wrote: »

I'm really unhappy in college, I know I need to do something about it but I'm so lost there. I don't have the confidence to join a society right now, it may sound like an excuse. Thanks for replying, that's good advice about trying to keep positive, I tend to focus on the negative myself. It just feels like I'm feeling around in the dark, with all these techniques for coping sometime. I don't know how people cope with depression I really don't.

When I was going through my thing I became a complete recluse. Never went to college (had to repeat year), used go to tesco early in the morning so I wouldn't see anyone to talk to.
When people came home in the evening I would hide in the kitchen cooking. It was tough. The year I repeated I had no friends (everyone else was graduated), but the lecturers knew what was going on. I was put on a team of 3 for my thesis just so I would have some interaction, and it really worked.
I know its hard, but you have to ge out of bed and out doing something. Talk to college counselor maybe? And feel free to share whatever you want here. I'm relatively new to this forum but everyone is great. We all have similar issues

Gongoozler

Well done on the interviews Cookie, very tough going on anybody to have 2 in one day.

I'm finding it amusing how changeable my mood is. Makes me feel a bit....stupid or something. Earlier things were so bad at work (at least in my head) that I had tears in my eyes and wanted to leave. Then this evening, I was being nice to people. It probably doesn't sound odd, but, while I'm not outwardly horrible to people, I'm usually not outwardly nice to people either. Not unless I know them or they need help. But I found myself actually being a little chirpy and nice to people. It's weird for me to have that change. I suppose there were quite a number of hours between the two things, but still. I haven't had this before. I wonder is the dip and high thing a side effect of the withdrawal from cymbalta. It feels like it'd have to be. I don't think I was this changeable before.

InReality

timecurve12 wrote: »

I kind of have, I just don't think they can do anything, apart from listen, and I'm afraid of being put in a mental hospital. I may go for a walk tomorrow, it's just I sometimes start crying and have to breathe deeply to stop myself. The thing is, I think maybe the problem is permanent in my case. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I'm not sure if it's depression or just feeling sad about things going wrong.

I'd be pretty sure its depression. As long as you stick with your GP you will be ok although it might take a while. I've been going to support groups for years now and have seen many many depressed people get better. And listening is more important than it sounds - there is a lot of research that it a good honest conversation about whats bothering you can have a huge impact in getting though and overcoming anxiety and depression. It gets it out of your head so to speak. And fair play for posting.
+ When depression is bad sometimes the only thing to do is to wait it out. IMO its basically your brain saying it needs a break from worry and depression is its emergency method of doing this - basically by exhausting a persons ability to think ( and hence worry ). But it will go eventually.

Freezing!!

Can you be too honest with your loved ones? I don't want to worry anyone in my family, but I have been feeling suicidal quite regularly these past few weeks. I've told my parents that I've felt depressed, they eventually got me to admit that I've felt suicidal at times before, but I've been much worse recently. Should I tell them? I've been to a doctor and all that, and I've told him how I'm feeling.

Hugo Stiglitz

Freezing!! wrote: »

Can you be too honest with your loved ones? I don't want to worry anyone in my family, but I have been feeling suicidal quite regularly these past few weeks. I've told my parents that I've felt depressed, they eventually got me to admit that I've felt suicidal at times before, but I've been much worse recently. Should I tell them? I've been to a doctor and all that, and I've told him how I'm feeling.

Tell them. They love you and are in the immediate position to help you out.

Esel

Freezing!! wrote: »

Can you be too honest with your loved ones? I don't want to worry anyone in my family, but I have been feeling suicidal quite regularly these past few weeks. I've told my parents that I've felt depressed, they eventually got me to admit that I've felt suicidal at times before, but I've been much worse recently. Should I tell them? I've been to a doctor and all that, and I've told him how I'm feeling.

Not in your current situation you can't.

Tell them now how you are feeling. Tell your doctor (again) as well.

Do not drink alcohol (or at least do not get drunk) or take any mind-altering substances.

To repeat: yes - tell your parents, and tell your doctor again. Tell other family members. Tell a few good friends too.

If you are feeling really low, go to your nearest hospital, and tell the doctor there.

fiftythree

timecurve12 wrote: »

I'm really unhappy in college, I know I need to do something but I'm so lost there. I don't have the confidence to join a society right now, it may sound like an excuse. Thanks for replying, that's good advice about trying to keep positive, I tend to focus on the negative myself. It just feels like I'm feeling around in the dark, with all these techniques for coping sometime. I don't know how people cope with depression I really don't.

not an excuse at all.
and completely understandable. no need for societies now.
not the time.
that will come later. the fact that you posted here is admirable,
and to me demonstrates you would like some help
and are not prepared to give up.
lot of what you posted i can relate to.
i read more depression than anxiety into your case.
i think they are inter-related but if you have got to stage where you can't function then my advice would be to see a GP.

seems like a lot of people can lead reasonably normal
lives and suffer from anxiety, which is awful, but
if the depression is too deep it sucks all life away. even the
superficial life, then

try to communicate exactly how you feel to the GP.
i have been there before, and i still am not
"cured" or anywhere near it.
but do what you can to get out of that hell ok?
you can, and you will timecurve.
best of luck.

keep posting. it helps. some very nice, supportive people on here.
did me the world of good.
53

Wilberto

Well, I've established that these meds are pretty pointless! :rolleyes:

Today was absolutely awful again. This anxiety and paranoia is crippling me in work and, as a result, I find it so difficult to focus myself and hence find myself making stupid errors etc. I just know my account manager (who just happens to be probably the nicest person in there) is growing so frustrated with me, and I don't blame her. I'm frustrated with myself, and it's not fair on her that she has to deal with this.

I'm really not sure how much longer I can keep fighting this. I feel like, at this stage I'm of no use to anyone anyway so what harm.

CZ 453

Wilberto wrote: »

Well, I've established that these meds are pretty pointless! :rolleyes:

Today was absolutely awful again. This anxiety and paranoia is crippling me in work and, as a result, I find it so difficult to focus myself and hence find myself making stupid errors etc. I just know my account manager (who just happens to be probably the nicest person in there) is growing so frustrated with me, and I don't blame her. I'm frustrated with myself, and it's not fair on her that she has to deal with this.

I'm really not sure how much longer I can keep fighting this. I feel like, at this stage I'm of no use to anyone anyway so what harm.

Stay strong.
How long are you on them and what dosage? What are you on?

Hugo Stiglitz

Wilberto wrote: »

I'm really not sure how much longer I can keep fighting this. I feel like, at this stage I'm of no use to anyone anyway so what harm.

Keep up the good fight W.