ChildCare

groucho marx

Hi,

I need some advice from others in the same boat.
Im back at work now with the past 2 weeks, I started my almost 8 month old at crèche, she struggled all last week to settle. The crèche rang me one day and asked me to come as she was so unsettled. The next day wasn't so bad but again not great, this week has been very difficult, every morning when I take her out of the car and we just get to the door she screams. I am wondering is this normal, am I expecting too much too soon, or should I start looking at alternatives. Its beyond hard seeing her in tears in a panic when Im leaving, I end up going to the car and crying, leaving my job is not an option.

Help, anybody else experienced anything similar and what did you do?

Thanks for reading.

addob

Hi,

Before you went back to work did your daughter have an induction to the creche where she went in for longer and longer periods over a few days to get used to it?

Breaks your heart when they are so upset when you leave them!

addob

groucho marx

Yes she had a two week piece meal trial,unfortunately she was too sick a couple of days so the trial was very short and disorganised

pwurple

8 months is around the time they can start going through their separation anxiety phase. It usually is around 7 to 10 months. How is she when you leave the room for a few minutes at home? does she get upset when you go out of sight?

The creche sound like good sorts anyway, they call you when she gets upset, rather than leaving her to cry. That's the right thing for them to do.

If it is the separation anxiety phase, then building up a relationship with the carers is the way to go if you can. That's what that settling in period is for. You stay for a bit while they are there, so they feel secure. Then you stay for less and less time, until they are happy to stay without you.

groucho marx

Yes if I leave a room or just even go out of sight she is getting very upset. She doesnt want to be held by any relatives that she is usually fine with either,just wants mammy.
maybe its just bad timing,im hoping it is just separation anxiety and not a hate of the creche.

Soooky

Can't offer any advice I'm afraid just wanted to say I hope it all works out for you - must be heartbreaking to know that she is upset while you are away : ( I'm sure its no consolation but soon she will love joining her little pals each day

Ginny

I can promise you 99% of the time once you leave the room she will be fine. I have my minion in crèche 2 days a week, I first left him in at 10 months to settle in and then every week at 11 months. The crèche has helped him develop in leaps and bounds, he's now there a year and tells me every morning who he's going in to play with, he now toddles in with me hangs his coat up and off he goes, if my husband or I are lucky we'll get a hug. Crèche has helped him so much I. His speech and social skills, even if we could afford for one of us to be home we'd probably have him in there at least 2 days a week. I promise you it will get better and a year from now you will barely remember how upsetting it was.

groucho marx

Thanks for that ginny. Im hoping I can look back on this in a year and it will be a distant memory. its much harder than I expected to leave her.

addob

Glad to hear that there was an induction, my boy was the same when he started, he got sick and the induction that was supposed to be 1 week went on for 3 as he started missing the days.

It does take time at the beginning, separation is one factor so is the change to their schedule.

Good luck, I know it's hard!