I am so tired!

Maximus Alexander

Right folks, staying up late to watch the world cup along with the heat has meant I've barely got a wink of sleep all week. Apparently I've also been having sneezing fits in my sleep that I don't have any recollection of, so that can't have helped.

Anyway, this has built up to the point that I'm now struggling badly to keep my eyes open at work. Last time I remember being this tired at a desk was in college lectures after a heavy night on the sauce.

Three hours to go, need to stay awake, what should I do AH? I've already had 3 coffees and 2 teas and rubbed my eyes extensively. Any other ideas?

Before you suggest them, I'm not going to:

• Masturbate
• Flash anyone
• Get drunk
• Go home early

:P

Alf. A. Male

I'd love to help, but you ruled out the only four ideas that matter. I can only suggest burning down the office now.

Maximus Alexander

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Before you suggest them, I'm not going to:

• Masturbate
• Flash anyone
• Get drunk
• Go home early

:P

It's like you don't even want to be helped

SEPT 23 1989

Ecstasy

waraf

waraf

just joking OP. Get out for a ten minute brisk walk usually works to keep you awake a bit longer

Corkgirl210

Redbull? air?

MagicIRL

Greetings, friend. Do you wish to look as happy energetic as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness energy is just a dollar away.

Jonny Blaze

Finger in a power outlet?

eigrod

3 things to help :

Drink lots of cold water;
get fresh cool air in and about you
Regular mini walks around your office

Lucifer MorningStar

Have a kip in the office

Boom_Bap

Go to the nearest toilet cubicle. Don't look in the toilet bowl.

Dunk your head in an hold it as long as possible, while doing this, try to figure out if the toilet was flushed before you dunked using only your scalp.

Your head will be refreshed, and you senses will be heightened after this. Your brain also gets a workout.

The glorious thing about this, you can keep repeating if you keep getting tired. You can also spice things up by sneaking into a cubicle of the opposite sex.

Maximus Alexander

eigrod wrote: »

3 things to help :

Drink lots of cold water;
get fresh cool air in and about you
Regular mini walks around your office

Went and splashed my face with cold water and then drank a load of it.

Fresh air is off the table, it's one of those modern buildings where the windows don't open.

Took a mini walk around the office, stuck a clipboard under my arm and walked with purpose so it looked like I was busy.

Cheers, I'd say you've bought me about 20 minutes.

Vito Corleone

I could tell you a story that will make you cry.

Hande hoche!

epinephrine

SterlingArcher

matcha green tea

Tastes ugh but Natural. And does work, helps with anxiety also.

Maximus Alexander

Hande hoche! wrote: »

epinephrine

I haven't got any, but that's basically adrenaline, right? So all I need to do is start a fight?

Hande hoche!

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I haven't got any, but that's basically adrenaline, right? So all I need to do is start a fight?

Pretty much. Ideally with someone smaller and weaker than you.

SterlingArcher

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Pretty much. Ideally with someone smaller and weaker than you.

Wouldn't that only leave kittens?

Maximus Alexander

Vito Corleone wrote: »

I could tell you a story that will make you cry.

Hit me with it Vito, maybe focusing on beating back the tears will help me stay awake. :eek:

SterlingArcher wrote: »

Wouldn't that only leave kittens?

You stole my self-deprecating joke!

Tardful Slakerly II

You want some amphetamines, speed. Borrow an aderall off someone if they have any, or try your local biker bar.

Maximus Alexander

So I've been giving people the stink-eye to try and instigate a fight and get the sweet adrenaline kick, but I think I just look constipated because they all look vaguely uncomfortable and then they turn away and whisper.

Can you get a coffee? A double espresso will pick you up a bit (before you crash even further).

Another technique is to close your eyes for two minutes with your head supported and massage the area between your eyes with your fingertips, or give yourself 5 minutes to do some paced breathing.

Sugary tea might help too, very temporarily though.

Maximus Alexander

Candie wrote: »

Another technique is to close your eyes for two minutes with your head supported and massage the area between your eyes with your fingertips, or give yourself 5 minutes to do some paced breathing.

I actually tried this a couple of times earlier and it seemed to help, but the gentle tapping of people's keyboards and the hushed voices in the next room were almost like a lullaby and I was in very real danger of dosing off!

Akrasia

Put on some headphones and listen to 'Machine Gun' by Portishead at the loudest volume your can get without going deaf. I dare anyone to sleep through this song. Also the terminator bit at the end is awesome

Arthur Beesley

5 cans of Red Bull and 5 cans of Monster.

BBDBB

stop fighting nature




get yourself a pair of these bad boys and have a nap


http://www.evilskippyatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/images-6.jpeg

Maximus Alexander

Akrasia wrote: »

Put on some headphones and listen to 'Machine Gun' by Portishead at the loudest volume your can get without going deaf. I dare anyone to sleep through this song. Also the terminator bit at the end is awesome

If it's on Spotify, I'll give it a go!

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

5 cans of Red Bull and 5 cans of Monster.

You forgot to put </LIFE> at the end of that. :P

rolliepoley

Do a dummy faint and blame it on the heat, then say you have to go outside and get some fresh air.

Dramatik

Rub cold water in your eyes, not on your eyelids but on your actual eyeballs, that usually helps for a good half hour. You could also try drawing a picture of your boss stark naked giving out to you for falling asleep on the job, I've found this also helps.

DaveyWaveyLad

Seriously, get an eye-test. Watching tv for longer than usual coupled with using a screen at work can cause eye strain leading to tiredness/yawning. If you already wear glasses then maybe a prescription update is needed.

Vito Corleone

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Hit me with it Vito, maybe focusing on beating back the tears will help me stay awake. :eek:

I tell a tale of a girl, but I call her a woman
She's a little bit older than me
Strong legs, strong face, voice like milk, breasts like a cluster of grapes

fussyonion

Whatever you do, don't google ASMR videos.

Vito Corleone

Vito Corleone wrote: »

breasts like a cluster of grapes

Small and purple?

Maximus Alexander

DaveyWaveyLad wrote: »

Seriously, get an eye-test. Watching tv for longer than usual coupled with using a screen at work can cause eye strain leading to tiredness/yawning. If you already wear glasses then maybe a prescription update is needed.

Thanks but I'm just straight up exhausted! My vision remains perfect.

Vito Corleone wrote: »

I tell a tale of a girl, but I call her a woman
She's a little bit older than me
Strong legs, strong face, voice like milk, breasts like a cluster of grapes

Ah the Pixies! I feel like a dope now.

fussyonion wrote: »

Whatever you do, don't google ASMR videos.

I feel like my office IS one big ASMR video right now!

c_man

1 - Put two Berocca into a bottle of Lucozade, down the mixture while it's still fizzing.
2 - Then run to the jacks and start tugging away *IMPORTANT* I know you said no ****, but the key here is not to finish! Just tug enough to get your heart racing.
3 - ??? The head in the toilet bowl idea?

Maximus Alexander

c_man wrote: »

2 - Then run to the jacks and start tugging away *IMPORTANT* I know you said no ****, but the key here is not to finish! Just tug enough to get your heart racing.

I don't suppose this part could be achieved by taking the stairs down to the ground floor and running back up again? It has to be tugging? :P

Mr. CooL ICE

Buy a 99 ice cream and eat it in one go. The crying from brain freeze will wake you up.

TheDoc

On lunch, out to the car, set an alarm for 40 minuntes and close your eyes.

Powernaps are seriously undervalued. I used to work in a job where I'd have to do anywhere up to 18/20 hour shifts, and be back in after a short stint at home.

A quick 40 minute kip in the car can suprisingly freshen you up.

I've been back doing it since the WC and back playing video games into the early hours. I tend to try not make it a regular thing as its obviously not a great habbit, but every now and then can sort you right out.

Coffee, tea, energy drinks etc. I think is all a fallacy, and I believe science finally caught up with me proving cafeine doesnt have the effects people "assume" it does. Either or, lashing in some water can help aswell.

Maximus Alexander

Good advice Doc, but I don't drive to work and lunch is long over so it's not an option.

I agree with you on the tea and coffee, I drink them every day so I reckon I'm numbed to their effects.

Less than two hours to go, I think I'm gonna make it! Off to splash some more cold water on my face.

Maximus Alexander

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Good advice Doc, but I don't drive to work and lunch is long over so it's not an option.

I agree with you on the tea and coffee, I drink them every day so I reckon I'm numbed to their effects.

Less than two hours to go, I think I'm gonna make it! Off to splash some more cold water on my face.

Here you go Max.

http://www.wikihow.com/Stay-Awake-at-Work

Tugging isn't on the list. Strangely enough.

TheDoc

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Good advice Doc, but I don't drive to work and lunch is long over so it's not an option.

I agree with you on the tea and coffee, I drink them every day so I reckon I'm numbed to their effects.

Less than two hours to go, I think I'm gonna make it! Off to splash some more cold water on my face.

Tea and coffee can actually make you more tired, especially in warm weather.

Ice cold water will sharpen you up

Science my friend, science.

I'm also sure if you did an afternoon roundup of the MUFC rumourmill, you will be wide awake

Maximus Alexander

The shoes are coming off, the runners are going on. The longest day ever (yes, longer than this one) is drawing to a close.

I never did doze off in the end, thanks for the tips folks!

mfceiling

You're tired OP, you're tired...

I'm up for work every morning at 6...a solid days work until 6 or 7..drive home, eat dinner, do kids homework with them, bath kids, put kids to bed, tidy up the kitchen, make 4 sets of lunches, have a shower, go to bed about 11.30...

Repeat every day...work saturday and the odd sunday. Also trying to move house.

You're tired OP, YOU'RE TIRED...

Maximus Alexander

You know we can both be tired, right?

Tail Docker

I was similarly knackered at work today, so I went into the office and had a kip on the desk. Then I buggered off home. I feel it was a good days work. Others, probably not so much.

LizzieJones

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Three hours to go, need to stay awake, what should I do AH? I've already had 3 coffees and 2 teas and rubbed my eyes extensively. Any other ideas?

Eat something with protein in it. It will raise your metabolism slightly and wake you up a wee bit. Don't eat anything carby or you'll fall asleep faster then my ex-bf did after the ride.

circadian

Ask one of the top managers at work for a bump of coke. Bet they have some.

Tardful Slakerly II

c_man wrote: »

1 - Put two Berocca into a bottle of Lucozade, down the mixture while it's still fizzing.
2 - Then run to the jacks and start tugging away *IMPORTANT* I know you said no ****, but the key here is not to finish! Just tug enough to get your heart racing.
3 - ??? The head in the toilet bowl idea?

Why is this in the Irish psyche? It's such a kids notion.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

maguic24

When I'm really tired at work, I usually go to the toilet and try and have a 5 minute power nap. Ugh, there's been days where I have felt like crawling under my desk and going for a full on shnooze. Very tired this week as well OP. I'll be hitting the hay early tonight.