Single life as a guy...

Wompa1

Tarzana wrote: »

Definitely happens. My BF wouldn't do that, but I did once tell him that I'd be really unhappy if he ever did. I would not be cool with being portrayed as a control freak just so he can get out of doing something.

Not to worry. Have had it on opposite side too. Girls telling their friends they are doing something with their boyfriends just to get out of going out with them or whatever. Though, I couldn't really give a ****e was their friends think of me anyways

NSAman

Wompa1 wrote: »

Not to worry. Have had it on opposite side too. Girls telling their friends they are doing something with their boyfriends just to get out of going out with them or whatever. Though, I couldn't really give a ****e was their friends think of me anyways

Sensing a little negativity from partners friends here, interesting:)

Wibbs

upforit101 wrote: »

A French acquaintance recently said to me "You are not Alive as a Man in this country" observing the surly looks of the native women - It's hard to come up with a counter argument.

Easy. Walk around Paris for a day. Well if the aim is to find surly looking women. If anything Parisian women would have a stereotype of being haughty, even surly.(BTW they're no more or less so than anywhere else). If you look for it you will see it. If you look for happy looking women you'll see that too. All down to perception and preconception. If someone was spiked with a low level of MDMA they'd think the everyday world made Disneyland look like a depression factory. It's that easy to influence perception.

Beauty generally follows the same perception filter. We seem to be programmed to see the exotic, the different as more attractive. So if you walk around [insert foreign city here] for a day you'll think you see better looking women(and men). There's a little more variability in the beauty perception filter. The current cultural ideal influences it, as does the population size(more people = more that fit the ideal and more that don't, but you'll filter out the latter) and the population demographic and ones own preferences. IE if you're into pale blondes, you're gonna be at a bit of a loss in Kenya.

Daveysil15

Wibbs wrote: »

Easy. Walk around Paris for a day. Well if the aim is to find surly looking women. If anything Parisian women would have a stereotype of being haughty, even surly.(BTW they're no more or less so than anywhere else). If you look for it you will see it. If you look for happy looking women you'll see that too. All down to perception and preconception. If someone was spiked with a low level of MDMA they'd think the everyday world made Disneyland look like a depression factory. It's that easy to influence perception.

Beauty generally follows the same perception filter. We seem to be programmed to see the exotic, the different as more attractive. So if you walk around [insert foreign city here] for a day you'll think you see better looking women(and men). There's a little more variability in the beauty perception filter. The current cultural ideal influences it, as does the population size(more people = more that fit the ideal and more that don't, but you'll filter out the latter) and the population demographic and ones own preferences. IE if you're into pale blondes, you're gonna be at a bit of a loss in Kenya.

Redheads are probably considered exotic by some people. Actually redheads are apparently on the verge of extinction because of global warming.

Tarzana

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Redheads are probably considered exotic by some people. Actually redheads are apparently on the verge of extinction because of global warming.

Myth apparently, that redheads will die out.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jul/10/redheads-die-out-extinction-ginger-gene-bad-science-red-hair

Potatoeman

upforit101 wrote: »

A French acquaintance recently said to me "You are not Alive as a Man in this country" observing the surly looks of the native women - It's hard to come up with a counter argument.

I heard something similar from a French friend too. They were complaining that their accent in most countries would get attention from girls but here they get slagged off.
They seem more into approaching people when out and about rather than in bars too. Which isnt too acceptable here.

Sleepy

LordNorbury wrote: »

I'm sure close to this stress, is the stress of knowing that to do the right thing by your kids, that you cannot really leave, if they are young,

Sadly, I think this is the case for an awful lot of people. I'm quite happily married but if I weren't, I'd be caught in this situation: I can put a roof over our heads and food on the table in a nice location now but were I trying to pay rent on two properties out of my income, they'd be in awful areas.

Heatmachine1

Reading some of the horror stories I think I found a diamond in the rough.
married a few years and I would not change ant of it as its all pros luckily.
she gives me all the time I want to pursue hobbies,go out if I want and just kick back round the house on my days off,I do the same for her.
I actually miss her hwaps when away with woek as I feel like I get loads if freedom in our marriage.
Before I was single and not looking for a good woman,luckily I landed one somehow.
I listen to some lads at work who dont get the freedom and the question comes to me I just shrug and say nope never have those issues,feel guilty a bit.
Obv we have issues sometimes as do lots of couples but 99% its easy street.

discus

The moral of your story is that to be happy in a relationship, you have to be happy with yourself.

Daveysil15

Potatoeman wrote: »

I heard something similar from a French friend too. They were complaining that their accent in most countries would get attention from girls but here they get slagged off.
They seem more into approaching people when out and about rather than in bars too. Which isnt too acceptable here.

Well its certainly not the norm anyway. Although bars and clubs are not exactly great places either. It's funny how a lot of people will say to a single person, "You need to get out more" yet strangely enough I don't know any couples that have met in a bar or club. I've never met anyone that way either. It nearly always seems to be through work or through friends. I know a few single people that "go out" regularly but never meet anyone new.

It got me thinking too, is it worth your while doing things you don't like in order to improve your chances of meeting someone? I was never a big fan of the drinking culture here in Ireland, but I often forced myself to go out as I didn't see many other options to meet women at the time. Whereas now I just do the things that I enjoy and have met some great people through new hobbies. Plus if you're in a situation where you're not having any fun then you're probably not going to be in the right frame of mind.

I've heard stories of guys taking up Salsa dancing for example, even though they have absolutely no interest in it, but do it anyway because there'd be plenty of women there. I suppose it would be better to meet someone through similar interests, but then again its all to easy to get stuck in your comfort zone.

Potatoeman

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well its certainly not the norm anyway. Although bars and clubs are not exactly great places either. It's funny how a lot of people will say to a single person, "You need to get out more" yet strangely enough I don't know any couples that have met in a bar or club. I've never met anyone that way either. It nearly always seems to be through work or through friends. I know a few single people that "go out" regularly but never meet anyone new.

It got me thinking too, is it worth your while doing things you don't like in order to improve your chances of meeting someone? I was never a big fan of the drinking culture here in Ireland, but I often forced myself to go out as I didn't see many other options to meet women at the time. Whereas now I just do the things that I enjoy and have met some great people through new hobbies. Plus if you're in a situation where you're not having any fun then you're probably not going to be in the right frame of mind.

I've heard stories of guys taking up Salsa dancing for example, even though they have absolutely no interest in it, but do it anyway because there'd be plenty of women there. I suppose it would be better to meet someone through similar interests, but then again its all to easy to get stuck in your comfort zone.

I dont think bars are great either. Youre a stranger approaching someone and you have to get over that hump. If they know you through someone you are far better off.

Irish people take dating too seriously. We should date more. You dont have to be mad about someone to go on a date or do anything on the date. Its gotten better with online dating.

K-9

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Having kids is not something I really think about. That may change in the future if I meet someone though. Sometimes I'll see a nice quite kid and think, "Ahh she's/he's lovely." I'd like to have a kid someday. But then I see a lot of other kids and think, "Sweet jesus no"

Yeah, but your own kids are different!

Seriously, I'm 40 now and the "young lad" is 16 after finishing his Junior Cert. I suppose I'm under less pressure on the kids thing, I really don't know if I'd ever settle down and do the 2.3 children thing at this stage of my life, kind of feel as if that part of my life is over when most men around my age are in the thick of it regarding families.

Anyway, overall kids rock, the good times far out weigh the bad.

Dial Hard

Heatmachine1 wrote: »

Reading some of the horror stories I think I found a diamond in the rough.
married a few years and I would not change ant of it as its all pros luckily.
she gives me all the time I want to pursue hobbies,go out if I want and just kick back round the house on my days off,I do the same for her.
I actually miss her hwaps when away with woek as I feel like I get loads if freedom in our marriage.
Before I was single and not looking for a good woman,luckily I landed one somehow.
I listen to some lads at work who dont get the freedom and the question comes to me I just shrug and say nope never have those issues,feel guilty a bit.
Obv we have issues sometimes as do lots of couples but 99% its easy street.

I honestly don't think your situation is as rare as this thread would have you believe. There are absolutely loads of happily married men out there. Like with many things online, you hear a lot more horror stories than you do good ones.

Also, I do wonder how many couples who are miserable in their marriage had glaringly obvious issues before the wedding, but went through with it anyway? Any of the couples I know who are having trouble should never have gotten married in the first place.

Wibbs

Dial Hard wrote: »

Any of the couples I know who are having trouble should never have gotten married in the first place.

+1000 and ditto. There were always warning signs, some of which were beyond glaring.

K-9

Wibbs wrote: »

+1000 and ditto. There were always warning signs, some of which were beyond glaring.

Probably comes back to the "he/she'll change" thing. Yep they probably will, for the worse!

Knex*

I know one couple, in particular, who are looking like they may end up married. If they do, I would almost guarantee it would be an absolute disaster of a marriage. Clear as day to everyone outside the relationship too.

Not much you can do, though.

And these are people who are in their early 20's as well, like myself. I just can't relate to them at all, in the regard, however.

Onthe3rdDay

Dial Hard wrote: »

I honestly don't think your situation is as rare as this thread would have you believe. There are absolutely loads of happily married men out there. Like with many things online, you hear a lot more horror stories than you do good ones.

Of course there are plenty of Married Men out there that are happy. But remember that this thread is about Single life as a guy. If you're single those Married men might give you the idea that Married life is the way to go. However, you will rarely get them saying how happy they are to a single guy. It's generally not an issue that a Happily married Man will talk about to his friends.

On the other hand when you have Men in unhappy Marriages you'll always get them going on about how they wish they're were single and telling the single guy how lucky he is. You can understand why Happy Single Guys would be wary of Marriage when they hear all the bad stuff and little of the good.

Of course it's a totally different story if you're unhappy because you're single.

Dial Hard wrote: »

Also, I do wonder how many couples who are miserable in their marriage had glaringly obvious issues before the wedding, but went through with it anyway? Any of the couples I know who are having trouble should never have gotten married in the first place.

That does appear to be an Irish thing. The wedding will solve the problems we have, the new house will solve the problems we have, a Baby will solve the problems we have, Okay it was a boy, a baby Girl will solve the problems we have. 5 years down the line and you can see the mess some people sleepwalk into.

However at the same time Rory the Golfer called off his Wedding in a sensible manner because it's not what he wanted and he's been attacked in the press for the last few weeks. He's a rotter because he was thinking about his long term happiness.

Wibbs

Onthe3rdDay wrote: »

However at the same time Rory the Golfer called off his Wedding in a sensible manner because it's not what he wanted and he's been attacked in the press for the last few weeks. He's a rotter because he was thinking about his long term happiness.

There was a time a man could be sued for breaking off an engagement. George Best the footballist was sued for it back in the 1960's.

That does appear to be an Irish thing. The wedding will solve the problems we have, the new house will solve the problems we have, a Baby will solve the problems we have, Okay it was a boy, a baby Girl will solve the problems we have. 5 years down the line and you can see the mess some people sleepwalk into.

I would say that's pretty universal to some degree. That said we do seem to have bought into the American model more than the rest of Europe has. IME the French, unless major social climbers tend to be a lot less OTT about all this, the Spanish the same. The big engagement ring, the stag and hen nights the big razzmatazz wedding itself, the flashy honeymoon went batcrap crazy during the boom in Ireland. I knew a guy who flashed nearly 80 grand on his daughters wedding and honeymoon. Flew guests to Italy and all that sorta thing. Madness. Even madder considering he was a plumber. I know they can charge like wounded rhinos but still. It all got a little bit sillier than usual.

Even today you still have those aiming at the wedding and forgetting about the marriage. It's generally more a woman thing to do, or at least they take the more active engagement with the whole thing. The guys tend to be in a very passive in the background way.

Onthe3rdDay

Wibbs wrote: »

I would say that's pretty universal to some degree. That said we do seem to have bought into the American model more than the rest of Europe has. IME the French, unless major social climbers tend to be a lot less OTT about all this, the Spanish the same. The big engagement ring, the stag and hen nights the big razzmatazz wedding itself, the flashy honeymoon went batcrap crazy during the boom in Ireland. I knew a guy who flashed nearly 80 grand on his daughters wedding and honeymoon. Flew guests to Italy and all that sorta thing. Madness. Even madder considering he was a plumber. I know they can charge like wounded rhinos but still. It all got a little bit sillier than usual.

Even today you still have those aiming at the wedding and forgetting about the marriage. It's generally more a woman thing to do, or at least they take the more active engagement with the whole thing. The guys tend to be in a very passive in the background way.

I'd have to disagree to a point with what you say. It's possibly a throwback as well here to our old divorce laws. If you make a mistake elsewhere, you always knew you had a way out. Here not so much the case. That may have changed but many don't seem to realise it.

In the UK i've been to plenty of Weddings which were cheap and to the point. Here almost every wedding is big and when it's not it's the talk of the town. There's a real pressure to have the big wedding (mostly on women to be fair).

Onthe3rdDay

Wibbs wrote: »

There was a time a man could be sued for breaking off an engagement. George Best the footballist was sued for it back in the 1960's.

To be fair he used to boast he was the last person ever to be sued for it, and it was settled out of court. Even back in the sixties it wasn't certain that he'd be beaten.

LordNorbury

Onthe3rdDay wrote: »

In the UK i've been to plenty of Weddings which were cheap and to the point. Here almost every wedding is big and when it's not it's the talk of the town. There's a real pressure to have the big wedding (mostly on women to be fair).

I think that is a throwback to the Celtic Tiger days, I know single girls who just want a guy to date who will go exclusive with her, and they are having serious trouble finding that these days, the last thing they expect is the big grandstand wedding, they can't even find a guy who will do a month of proper dating with them and these girls are attractive normal intelligent girls...

Pawwed Rig

LordNorbury wrote: »

I think that is a throwback to the Celtic Tiger days,

Not too sure about that. The format of weddings hasn't really changed that much in the last 30 years at least. Also it is impossible to tell the difference between a 10K wedding and a 30K wedding alot of the time unless you are really concerned with the fine details.

LordNorbury

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Not too sure about that. The format of weddings hasn't really changed that much in the last 30 years at least. Also it is impossible to tell the difference between a 10K wedding and a 30K wedding alot of the time unless you are really concerned with the fine details.

Have to say, I know girls who (if they could find a guy), would settle it all in a registry office, it's the 'finding someone' part that they are stuck on, I often get the impression that the furthest thing from their mind is a big 30-40K wedding day. Sure most people don't have access to that kind of finance now for a wedding day, a lot of these things back in the days of excess with Credit Union loans and 10K that was pulled off two MBNA cards, I think those days are well behind us thank Christ...

ElecKtrA

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well its certainly not the norm anyway. Although bars and clubs are not exactly great places either. It's funny how a lot of people will say to a single person, "You need to get out more" yet strangely enough I don't know any couples that have met in a bar or club. I've never met anyone that way either. It nearly always seems to be through work or through friends. I know a few single people that "go out" regularly but never meet anyone new.

It got me thinking too, is it worth your while doing things you don't like in order to improve your chances of meeting someone? I was never a big fan of the drinking culture here in Ireland, but I often forced myself to go out as I didn't see many other options to meet women at the time. Whereas now I just do the things that I enjoy and have met some great people through new hobbies. Plus if you're in a situation where you're not having any fun then you're probably not going to be in the right frame of mind.

I've heard stories of guys taking up Salsa dancing for example, even though they have absolutely no interest in it, but do it anyway because there'd be plenty of women there. I suppose it would be better to meet someone through similar interests, but then again its all to easy to get stuck in your comfort zone.

Couldn't agree with this post more!

I think we 'singletons' are coming to accept that there are other ways and means of meeting other singles rather than reverting to the pub/club on a Friday/Saturday night.

I go out regularly just to have fun and meet up with my friends and enjoy the night out. I obviously don't rule out that I may meet a guy that actually has a genuine interest in me as a person and isn't just out for the ''ride'' :rolleyes:. However, from my perspective it's almost impossible to come across a real genuine guy who isn't full of crap and stuck up his own a*se! ...maybe I just attract the wrong type of guys! ..or perhaps they act this way after a few drinks and want to show off in front of their mates! :rolleyes:

Meeting people through mutual interests/groups/hobbies and perhaps through friends is probably the better approach, if you are looking for someone who is like-minded and possibly have that ''click'' with Online dating has it's perks but also it's disadvantages! My advice...rule out nothing and go with the flow Sometimes single life is just the easy option...but there comes a time when you question whether or not you want to remain a spinster or bachelor ...who really wants to remain alone when they are old...that's what it really comes down to, IMHO.

K-9

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Not too sure about that. The format of weddings hasn't really changed that much in the last 30 years at least. Also it is impossible to tell the difference between a 10K wedding and a 30K wedding alot of the time unless you are really concerned with the fine details.

I wonder when the days of 2/300 at weddings came in. Seems weddings in the 50's and 60's were small affairs going on my parents generations stories. People didn't have the money to shell out 10k or so in todays money.

Onthe3rdDay

ElecKtrA wrote: »

Couldn't agree with this post more!


Meeting people through mutual interests/groups/hobbies and perhaps through friends is probably the better approach, if you are looking for someone who is like-minded and possibly have that ''click'' with Online dating has it's perks but also it's disadvantages! My advice...rule out nothing and go with the flow Sometimes single life is just the easy option...but there comes a time when you question whether or not you want to remain a spinster or bachelor ...who really wants to remain alone when they are old...that's what it really comes down to, IMHO.

Well for some they do want to remain alone even when they're old. That the way that they are. Also the real tragedy is that almost 50% of old happy couples will end up alone when one partner dies before another. My advice is to do what makes you happy and as long as you're hurting no one else ignore what society says. It's only looking after itself.

Daveysil15

ElecKtrA wrote: »

Couldn't agree with this post more!

I think we 'singletons' are coming to accept that there are other ways and means of meeting other singles rather than reverting to the pub/club on a Friday/Saturday night.

I go out regularly just to have fun and meet up with my friends and enjoy the night out. I obviously don't rule out that I may meet a guy that actually has a genuine interest in me as a person and isn't just out for the ''ride'' :rolleyes:. However, from my perspective it's almost impossible to come across a real genuine guy who isn't full of crap and stuck up his own a*se! ...maybe I just attract the wrong type of guys! ..or perhaps they act this way after a few drinks and want to show off in front of their mates! :rolleyes:

Meeting people through mutual interests/groups/hobbies and perhaps through friends is probably the better approach, if you are looking for someone who is like-minded and possibly have that ''click'' with Online dating has it's perks but also it's disadvantages! My advice...rule out nothing and go with the flow Sometimes single life is just the easy option...but there comes a time when you question whether or not you want to remain a spinster or bachelor ...who really wants to remain alone when they are old...that's what it really comes down to, IMHO.

TBH I think its that mentality that makes it very difficult to meet people on a night out. I'm not having a go at you in particular, but its one thing I really hate about the Irish nightlife. That whole defensiveness thing. They were talking about this on the radio the other day and one guy described Ireland as having a bad case of "Larry Murphy Syndrome" whereby its almost predatory to approach women on a night out.

Now I know some guys may be stuck up their own arse as you say, but in fairness if the same thing was said about women there'd be a sh1tstorm. I completely agree with your last paragraph though. Go with the flow.

Wibbs

Daveysil15 wrote: »

TBH I think its that mentality that makes it very difficult to meet people on a night out. I'm not having a go at you in particular, but its one thing I really hate about the Irish nightlife. That whole defensiveness thing. They were talking about this on the radio the other day and one guy described Ireland as having a bad case of "Larry Murphy Syndrome" whereby its almost predatory to approach women on a night out.

Now anyone can go through my posts on this on Boards and they will see I do NOT go along with some of the daftness that says "Irish women are X(usually a derogatory X with it)". However I would agree with D's take regarding defensiveness. I've been on the lash in a fair few countries and cultures in my time and I'm still the same gobshíte everywhere, but while you may encounter defensiveness anywhere, it does seem a lot more marked here. And it is much harder to approach a woman here. The UK is similar IME.

Before any potential knicker bunching occurs, I am NOT blaming women for this. It's more complex and layered. IMHO mostly it's down to the heavy drinking culture and too many men(and women) consuming a skinful and that increases aggression and pushy behaviour and the response to same, so people get defensive because of their past experiences of that. It's basically safer and less hassle to be a "bitch". If your experience as a woman boils down to on an average night nine twats approach you with tired lines, then the tenth decent skin who approaches is gonna be rated on the previous. It becomes an arms race of twattery. That can even translate into non drink fueled scenarios. The defensiveness holds over from night time experiences. In less drink fueled cultures people are less defensive overall and women are less likely to have a default "Fúckoffyoutwat(tm)" mode. Oh it can still happen, but it's less likely because of the different environment in play.

Daveysil15

Wibbs wrote: »

Now anyone can go through my posts on this on Boards and they will see I do NOT go along with some of the daftness that says "Irish women are X(usually a derogatory X with it)". However I would agree with D's take regarding defensiveness. I've been on the lash in a fair few countries and cultures in my time and I'm still the same gobshíte everywhere, but while you may encounter defensiveness anywhere, it does seem a lot more marked here. And it is much harder to approach a woman here. The UK is similar IME.

Before any potential knicker bunching occurs, I am NOT blaming women for this. It's more complex and layered. IMHO mostly it's down to the heavy drinking culture and too many men(and women) consuming a skinful and that increases aggression and pushy behaviour and the response to same, so people get defensive because of their past experiences of that. It's basically safer and less hassle to be a "bitch". If your experience as a woman boils down to on an average night nine twats approach you with tired lines, then the tenth decent skin who approaches is gonna be rated on the previous. It becomes an arms race of twattery. That can even translate into non drink fueled scenarios. The defensiveness holds over from night time experiences. In less drink fueled cultures people are less defensive overall and women are less likely to have a default "Fúckoffyoutwat(tm)" mode. Oh it can still happen, but it's less likely because of the different environment in play.

Yep its more to do with the drinking culture, and both genders are at fault. And if women are getting approached by a lot of twats then its understandable that they'd have that defense mechanism. However it does make it difficult then for the daycent chap who just wants to meet someone.

Potatoeman

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Yep its more to do with the drinking culture, and both genders are at fault. And if women are getting approached by a lot of twats then its understandable that they'd have that defense mechanism. However it does make it difficult then for the daycent chap who just wants to meet someone.

I blame pushie guys for some of it though pubs/clubs are for socialising. Defensiveness creates an uncomfortable atmosphere.
I usually chat to whoever else is queuing for the bar but I have been blanked by women from time to time. Its kind of presumptuous to assume that anyone that approaches you is out to seduce you.

Cold Vapour

ElecKtrA wrote: »

Couldn't agree with this post more!

I think we 'singletons' are coming to accept that there are other ways and means of meeting other singles rather than reverting to the pub/club on a Friday/Saturday night.

I go out regularly just to have fun and meet up with my friends and enjoy the night out. I obviously don't rule out that I may meet a guy that actually has a genuine interest in me as a person and isn't just out for the ''ride'' :rolleyes:. However, from my perspective it's almost impossible to come across a real genuine guy who isn't full of crap and stuck up his own a*se! ...maybe I just attract the wrong type of guys! ..or perhaps they act this way after a few drinks and want to show off in front of their mates! :rolleyes:

Meeting people through mutual interests/groups/hobbies and perhaps through friends is probably the better approach, if you are looking for someone who is like-minded and possibly have that ''click'' with Online dating has it's perks but also it's disadvantages! My advice...rule out nothing and go with the flow Sometimes single life is just the easy option...but there comes a time when you question whether or not you want to remain a spinster or bachelor ...who really wants to remain alone when they are old...that's what it really comes down to, IMHO.

Can you tell me what a genuine guy is?

NSAman

Cold Vapour wrote: »

Can you tell me what a genuine guy is?

Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.;)

leahyl

NSAman wrote: »

Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.

Generalisation much! Sounds like the ideal guy to me

NSAman

leahyl wrote: »

Generalisation much! Sounds like the ideal guy to me

Thankfully, i have the BMW (and others) I am in the social circle and have a damned good job, amazing how they flock to you..;)

LordNorbury

NSAman wrote: »

Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.;)

What on earth has owning a BMW got to do with dating, are you serious?!?
#Cringe

riveratom

NSAman wrote: »

Thankfully, i have the BMW (and others) I am in the social circle and have a damned good job, amazing how they flock to you..;)

So they're after the big fancy car and the bank account, and you just happen to come attached then?

SherlockWatson

NSAman wrote: »

Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.;)

Good thing you've all those, sounds like you'd need them with that attitude!

LordNorbury

I drive a car that is worth around 300 quid I think, I don't even think I own a single suit, I've a very modest income, but I'm a warm personable chatty guy, I've no problem whatsoever getting regular dates.

Someone who is drawn to you because you drive a BMW or because your social circle is made up of the West Brit, cravat wearing, blazer jacket with leather elbow pads, marble mouthed Sandyford types, the kind of circle who will spend the entire evening blowing smoke up their own holes, who would want to go on a date with a girl who finds that kind of crap appealing?

K-9

Potatoeman wrote: »

I blame pushie guys for some of it though pubs/clubs are for socialising. Defensiveness creates an uncomfortable atmosphere.
I usually chat to whoever else is queuing for the bar but I have been blanked by women from time to time. Its kind of presumptuous to assume that anyone that approaches you is out to seduce you.

A lot of it is to do with our drinking culture and the cattle mart that is Irish night clubs and late bars, a cultural thing, nothing to do with sexes. I'd tend to chat to anybody with a few pints in me so yeah, just because I chat to a woman at a a bar doesn't mean I'm chatting them up!

Potatoeman

Its the wow factor. You need to make an impression. Guys that are good at this have more options. Women complain that its hard to meet nice guys but they still want to be impressed in some way.

LordNorbury

Potatoeman wrote: »

Its the wow factor. You need to make an impression. Guys that are good at this have more options. Women complain that its had to meet nice guys but they still want to be impressed in some way.

In my experience women want guys to be genuine, personable and conversational and also funny, they want a personality. A BMW is very very far down the list of things any girl I've dated, has looked for.

ElecKtrA

NSAman wrote: »

Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.;)

No, not at all!!!

A genuine guy is a guy that knows who he is without having to portray himself as a cocky pompous full of bravado type when out in a bar/club. Perhaps, alcohol has that effect on some men!!! :rolleyes:

Someone who is trying to sell himself with boasting how much he has in his bank account or what kind of car he drives...is absolutely one of the biggest fails In my opinion!!! :rolleyes:

Potatoeman

K-9 wrote: »

A lot of it is to do with our drinking culture and the cattle mart that is Irish night clubs and late bars, a cultural thing, nothing to do with sexes. I'd tend to chat to anybody with a few pints in me so yeah, just because I chat to a woman at a a bar doesn't mean I'm chatting them up!

They are not great places to meet someone but looking at the other thread about approaching women out and about you can see why we dont do that.

Saipanne

Men who think women only want money, don't have a clue about what women want. Only tarts chase money. Real women want character.

Potatoeman

ElecKtrA wrote: »

No, not at all!!!

A genuine guy is a guy that knows who he is without having to portray himself as a cocky pompous full of bravado type when out in a bar/club. Perhaps, alcohol has that effect on some men!!! :rolleyes:

Someone who is trying to sell himself with boasting how much he has in his bank account or what kind of car he drives...is absolutely one of the biggest fails In my opinion!!! :rolleyes:

A guy has to be good at selling himself. Its not necessarily about boasting but if you are not entertaining and interesting you are not going to get far. The flipside of this is that if you are good at this you have more options.

LordNorbury

Putting your dating strategy on the fact that you own a BMW and flashing the cash is the ultimate expression of style over substance in my opinion. Women tend to run a mile from this kind of behaviour I've found.

Onthe3rdDay

LordNorbury wrote: »

Putting your dating strategy on the fact that you own a BMW and flashing the cash is the ultimate expression of style over substance in my opinion. Women tend to run a mile from this kind of behaviour I've found.

Some Women. You may not have come across them, but they are out there. As are those men that think they've made it with the Flash Car, and important job. They do tend to marry and are happy... just as long as the money keeps coming in. One case I know of in the UK, the guy was let go and the wife kicked him out 4 weeks later, and there was supposedly no trouble up to then, and I'd believe it. There are people out there that live that way and fair play to them...just keep them away from me!

ongarboy

NSAman wrote: »

Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.;)

Wow, I never equated genuine guy as being the same as resentful, begrudging guy with major chip on his shoulder! How girls cannot be attracted to that is a mystery to us all!!:rolleyes:

K-9

Onthe3rdDay wrote: »

Some Women. You may not have come across them, but they are out there. As are those men that think they've made it with the Flash Car, and important job. They do tend to marry and are happy... just as long as the money keeps coming in. One case I know of in the UK, the guy was let go and the wife kicked him out 4 weeks later, and there was supposedly no trouble up to then, and I'd believe it. There are people out there that live that way and fair play to them...just keep them away from me!

Hopefully they match up with each other and leave the rest of us alone!

NSAman

riveratom wrote: »

So they're after the big fancy car and the bank account, and you just happen to come attached then?

Flies around Honey!!! Flies around honey!!

Still single and loving it..;)