Believing weight problems are "fine"

Snake

Bollox is what it is. Being overweight is not healthy it drives me mad when people are telling their mates ah you're not fat at all hun you look gorgeous! Worse than that is parents who let their children get overweight. ****ing disgusting. Control your child's diet and stop giving them rubbish food to save a few quid or because "I'm just so busy with work". I'm sorry but bollox to work my child's health comes first. Same for being underweight. If you're a size 3 17 year old you're not healthy. If you believe it's okay you are the problem.

catallus

What if we're just big-boned?

Alf Veedersane

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Bollox is what it is. Being overweight is not healthy it drives me mad when people are telling their mates ah you're not fat at all hun you look gorgeous! Worse than that is parents who let their children get overweight. ****ing disgusting. Control your child's diet and stop giving them rubbish food to save a few quid or because "I'm just so busy with work". I'm sorry but bollox to work my child's health comes first. Same for being underweight. If you're a size 3 17 year old you're not healthy. If you believe it's okay you are the problem.

Do you usually find this aproach helpful for people with weight issues?

Fluxfan

I dont really agree unless someone is actually unhealthily overweight. If someone is a bit chubby what's it to you at the end of the day? However I really agree about the overweight children, it drives me crazy seeing this!! I used to work in a newsagents and some kids would just pick up a ton of sweets and ask mammy to buy it for them, mammy says no, child starts crying the house down, mammy buys them...talk about setting them up well for life!

I firmly believe its a parents responsibility for keeping their weight, and health associated with weight, at the best level they can, their kids will only be thankful.

*sobs into icecream*

Snake

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

Do you usually find this aproach helpful for people with weight issues?

Bet it works better than telling them their perfectly healthy.

Snake

ppcperson wrote: »

I dont really agree unless someone is actually unhealthily overweight. If someone is a bit chubby what's it to you at the end of the day? However I really agree about the overweight children, it drives me crazy seeing this!! I used to work in a newsagents and some kids would just pick up a ton of sweets and ask mammy to buy it for them, mammy says no, child starts crying the house down, mammy buys them...talk about setting them up well for life!

I firmly believe its a parents responsibility for keeping their weight, and health associated with weight, at the best level they can, their kids will only be thankful.

Chubby is different. I mean literally being a walking heart attack. It's purely disgusting, if you can't look after your child's health then you shouldn't have one.

Snake

bluewolf wrote: »

*sobs into icecream*

ALL THOSE EMPTY CALORIES

Alf Veedersane

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Bet it works better than telling them their perfectly healthy.

There's a whole spectrum between one end of it and the other.

generic2012

ppcperson wrote: »

I dont really agree unless someone is actually unhealthily overweight. If someone is a bit chubby what's it to you at the end of the day? However I really agree about the overweight children, it drives me crazy seeing this!! I used to work in a newsagents and some kids would just pick up a ton of sweets and ask mammy to buy it for them, mammy says no, child starts crying the house down, mammy buys them...talk about setting them up well for life!

I firmly believe its a parents responsibility for keeping their weight, and health associated with weight, at the best level they can, their kids will only be thankful.

Overweight is unhealthy, more overweight is just more unhealthy, I think that's the point. If 'a bit chubby' is ok, it becomes the norm but just because it's the norm doesn't make it ok but it does make it acceptable. Then there's a new standard of weight. It's not just about the parents and the children, it's about the tax payers too.

There's talk about plain packet cigarettes coming into play, I think the packaging on sweets and bars and all that is far more enticing, surely plain packet confectionery would be a good move?

generic2012

GrayFox208 wrote: »

ALL THOSE EMPTY CALORIES

*TASTY CALORIES

krankykitty

It's frankly none of your business what weight anybody else is, apart from yourself and your own child(ren).

JONJO THE MISER

Live and let live, none of your business how other people live there lives.

Alf Veedersane

Arming people with the knowledge to make better hoices will always have a better impact than telling them they're fat and to sort themselves out.

generic2012

krankykitty wrote: »

It's frankly none of your business what weight anybody else is, apart from yourself and your own child(ren).

Healthcare is paid for by other peoples money, weight related issues taking up hospital beds etc.

Not saying overweight people don't deserve it or anything! Just mean that when is wholly unavoidable it is other peoples business.

Penny Tration

It's a glandular problem.

groovyg

I think people are just more accepting of others to be carrying weight now, like I hear alot of those who are say a stone or two overweight compare themselves to somebody who is obese and feel its ok to be that 2 stone overweight. I work with a colleague who lost about over 2 stone since Christmas, it was pretty obvious she had put on weight, however when she lost the weight and got down to the weight she should be according to her height, everyone was telling her she was too f**kin thin.
One of my friends who is quiet overweight made a similar comment about Brendan O Connor saying he'd lost too much weight and he was too thin!! You just can't win whatever you do.

Egass13

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Bollox is what it is. Being overweight is not healthy it drives me mad when people are telling their mates ah you're not fat at all hun you look gorgeous! Worse than that is parents who let their children get overweight. ****ing disgusting. Control your child's diet and stop giving them rubbish food to save a few quid or because "I'm just so busy with work". I'm sorry but bollox to work my child's health comes first. Same for being underweight. If you're a size 3 17 year old you're not healthy. If you believe it's okay you are the problem.

Watch you don't fall off that high horse, it's a loooooong way down

Norma_Desmond

People speak venomously about smokers, the money they cost the health system and nobody bats an eyelid.

Discuss overweight people in similar terms and people go crazy.
Obesity is quickly becoming a major issue, not being able to bring it up as an issue because some don't like to analyse it is worrying.

A smoker would surely be able to have a rational discussion about smoking and how that affects society.

P.S. Just to note; I don't smoke.

Alf Veedersane

Norma_Desmond wrote: »

People speak venomously about smokers, the money they cost the health system and nobody bats an eyelid.

Discuss overweight people in similar terms and people go crazy.
Obesity is quickly becoming a major issue, not being able to bring it up as an issue because some don't like to analyse it is worrying.

A smoker would surely be able to have a rational discussion about smoking and how that affects society.

P.S. Just to note; I don't smoke.

Comparing smoking and being overweight/obese is like comparing apples and oranges though.

Weight is a lot more sensitive an issue for more people than smoking is for most.

But I agree it's an issue that needs to be addressed.

Insect Overlord

More Ranting & Raving than Nutrition & Diet. TBH.

Norma_Desmond

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

Comparing smoking and being overweight/obese is like comparing apples and oranges though.

Weight is a lot more sensitive an issue for more people than smoking is for most.

But I agree it's an issue that needs to be addressed.

They're both damaging to peoples' health, they both takes years off lives, cost the health care system vast amounts of money.
While I'm looking at it in quite basic terms, the solution to both is also quite simple (quit smoking & eat right and exercise).

It just seems crazy that weight can't be discussed, how is anyone ever going to face something if they're not willing to discuss it.
Seems as if some people want it to be socially acceptable to be very overweight.

A culture in which women it is ok for women to be "curvy" (ie. overweight) is not good for society as a whole.
Kids are influenced by their parents, they learn what is acceptable from them.
If you're telling a kid it is ok to eat badly day in day out, be overweight and get no exercise,
you're opening your people up to a majority of people with diabetes and other weight/health related problems.

Alf Veedersane

Norma_Desmond wrote: »

They're both damaging to peoples' health, they both takes years off lives, cost the health care system vast amounts of money.
While I'm looking at it in quite basic terms, the solution to both is also quite simple (quit smoking & eat right and exercise).

It just seems crazy that weight can't be discussed, how is anyone ever going to face something if they're not willing to discuss it.
Seems as if some people want it to be socially acceptable to be very overweight.

A culture in which women it is ok for women to be "curvy" (ie. overweight) is not good for society as a whole.
Kids are influenced by their parents, they learn what is acceptable from them.
If you're telling a kid it is ok to eat badly day in day out, be overweight and get no exercise,
you're opening your people up to a majority of people with diabetes and other weight/health related problems.

Like I said, it needs to be addressed. But they're still very different. Weight issues cut a lot closer to the core. There's no equivalent to eating disorders with smoking.

But I suppose I'm accounting for the opening post there as well.

But a lot of people don't know why they put on weight bewcause they have nbo idea on what's good and bad from a nutrition point of view. If you educate people, you arm them to make better choices. That's definitely what's required.

desultory

There was a woman commenting on Facebook a few days ago on a mirror article (I know I know) about how the sole reason she is obese is because she has a slow metabolism, her and her friends that are obese only eat one small meal a day apparently and put on loads of weight. So therefore it's not her fault and can't be helped.
I despair.
The denial that some people are in is crazy

metamorphosis

Everyone is aware of what smoking does and how and why it is harmful for your health.

The same cannot be said for food and weight issues partly because we need food to survive, thus, peoples relationship will inherently differ across a scale that is large (no pun intended)

The issue does need to be addressed and is in some cases (albeit badly)

vitani

I have to admit that it does bother me to see severely overweight children, and I do judge their parents for it. I saw a young lad on the bus this morning in a school uniform - so can't have been more than 12 - but he looked much older. He had the height of a 16 year old and I'd say he was at least 250lb. He got on the bus for a journey of only a few minutes because, I imagine, the short walk would have been difficult for him. There's something wrong when a child is that overweight and I'd consider it a form of abuse.

PucaMama

GrayFox208 wrote: »

Bollox is what it is. Being overweight is not healthy it drives me mad when people are telling their mates ah you're not fat at all hun you look gorgeous! Worse than that is parents who let their children get overweight. ****ing disgusting. Control your child's diet and stop giving them rubbish food to save a few quid or because "I'm just so busy with work". I'm sorry but bollox to work my child's health comes first. Same for being underweight. If you're a size 3 17 year old you're not healthy. If you believe it's okay you are the problem.

And you are perfect??

Someone else's weight has **** all to do with you and Id love to tell u to ur face too

Egass13

vitani wrote: »

I have to admit that it does bother me to see severely overweight children, and I do judge their parents for it. I saw a young lad on the bus this morning in a school uniform - so can't have been more than 12 - but he looked much older. He had the height of a 16 year old and I'd say he was at least 250lb. He got on the bus for a journey of only a few minutes because, I imagine, the short walk would have been difficult for him. There's something wrong when a child is that overweight and I'd consider it a form of abuse.

It's definatly abuse. I saw a woman with her obese son 13/14 walking up the road and he was slugging away on a 2litre bottle of fanta. There's no excuse for that. And this whole thing of "healthy food is too expensive" is bull****. It pure laziness and lack of caring for their children that is the problem .

desultory

PucaMama wrote: »

And you are perfect??

Someone else's weight has **** all to do with you and Id love to tell u to ur face too

You don't have to be perfect to know that the trend of fat acceptance is a bit insane.

Edit: for example there's a girl on my Facebook that's after deciding to lose weight, fair play to her I say as she's a good 5 stone overweight, anyway she posts up that she's starting and is bombarded with people saying 'you're mad don't bother, beautiful as you are' etc etc
How is this more acceptable than encouragement?

Precious flower

I don't agree with just telling overweight people to ''get over themselves'', ''you're not beautiful, you're fat'' ''you're killing yourself'' etc. People don't end up in that position overnight, it's a gradual process and not an easy one to get out of. Would you say the same to a smoker? I doubt it.

It's an accumulation of bad choices, maybe not being educated about proper food and addiction. A large amount of weight is very hard to lose and I can understand people who get disheartened and give up, it's a long process to stick to and a complete lifestyle overhaul.

Saying that, it does really bother me when I see young children who are very overweight. I just feel it's a form of child abuse and something that will lead to countless issues for the child later on in life.

Fighting Irish

fatty

Frigga_92

I might be going a little bit against the consensus here but anyway.
Just over 2 years ago I had a bad motorbike accident, 6 months on crutches and I still can't walk properly and I'm very restricted physically. In addition to my physical injuries (left leg and foot, both hands, arms, shoulders and neck) I have also been suffering mentally and emotionally a lot since the crash, so angry at the person who hit me, worrying about the cost of all the treatment etc I ate my emotions for about 18 months so through a combination of physical restriction and emotional eating, I put on quite a bit of weight, I wasn't small to begin with anyway.
My husband and I were having a few drinks in our friend's house one night when a friend of my husband (someone he is no longer friends with for other reasons) asked me "what weight are you?" Weight, weight loss or exercise wasn't even the topic of conversation, this question came completely out of nowhere and I think it was the shock of being asked outright that actually made me answer "I'm about 16 stone" and he replied "that's a bit big, isn't it?" And it is.
Now, while I do accept that my weight is nobody's business but my own, he was right. I didn't decide to lose weight because of that guy but I did decide to lose weight because he was right, 16 stone was a bit big, in fact, it was probably way too big.

It just so happens that on that same night somebody took a photo of me sitting in an armchair and yeah, I was too big. I was unhealthy and significantly overweight. In the photo I was sitting beside a bowl of nachos, my clothes were too tight and I was smiling but I didn't look happy. I was trying to disguise the fat on my arms by holding them at a stupid angle. I can even remember thinking "just take the bloody photo and don't put it on facebook" but that person did put it on facebook and that was my wake up call.

Yes, the guy was an insensitive prick and he had a few drinks in him and probably wouldn't say that if he was sober but in a way it helped me.

Just trying to give the other perspective.

generic2012

Precious flower wrote: »

I don't agree with just telling overweight people to ''get over themselves'', ''you're not beautiful, you're fat'' ''you're killing yourself'' etc.

I don't think anyone said those things so it's very misleading to put them in quotation marks. What people would or wouldn't say t a smoker doesn't matter, it was just an analogy. It doesn't make being fat any more or less dangerous or any more or less important to healthy tax payers who have to cover the bill.

And I agree, being fat is a bad choice.

Alf Veedersane

generic2012 wrote: »

I don't think anyone said those things so it's very misleading to put them in quotation marks. What people would or wouldn't say t a smoker doesn't matter, it was just an analogy. It doesn't make being fat any more or less dangerous or any more or less important to healthy tax payers who have to cover the bill.

And I agree, being fat is a bad choice.

The way it's framed in the OP with
makes people feel different.

If you've never had to endure people tell you you're too fat or thin you won't appreciate the difference. But it does.

As for the premise, like I said, I agree. But starting by making people feel bad about themselves isn't helpful.

Not saying you're saying it is. ..just making the point.

Snake

PucaMama wrote: »

And you are perfect??

Someone else's weight has **** all to do with you and Id love to tell u to ur face too

Would you? I'll meet you in the square (tallaght) tomorrow morning, we can have a coffee and discuss it

Snake

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

The way it's framed in the OP with
makes people feel different.

If you've never had to endure people tell you you're too fat or thin you won't appreciate the difference. But it does.

As for the premise, like I said, I agree. But starting by making people feel bad about themselves isn't helpful.

Not saying you're saying it is. ..just making the point.

No yelling someone they're perfectly fine is the wrong. If you had cancer would you be okay with a doctor telling you that you're grand just to spare you getting upset? If you lie to someone then bitch at me because I won't lie, YOU are the problem.

generic2012

I think a big part is that it can't be openly talked about, is a lot of it too though. To use the analogy of the smoker again, if you talk to a smoker most of them will talk to you about it, they won't say it's not unhealthy or say they don't smoke enough for it to be unhealthy etc. where this won't always be the case with a fat person. I can barely type that, that's not right. A person who has to much fat on their body is called fat, simple factual statement but it's become so loaded that it's nearly allowed to be said anymore, as if it's offensive when it's just a statement of fact. A fat person getting offended when they are called fat is like a smoker getting offended for being called a smoker.

If any 'smokers' are offended by any of that, it's only a statement of fact.

Snake

And no I'm not perfect but I don't delude myself with some bollox that I'm perfectly healthy. If you're fat and you don't give a bollox that's grand, but what I can't stand and this is the point I was making is - telling someone's who's worried they're overweight and who really wants to try change that they're not. Just to spare their feelings? Well it's bloody wrong. You think you're the good guy but you're making a twat out of them and yourself, few people balls enough to speak out nowadays and when someone comes along who can they're a bad guy. Backward gob****es.

baby and crumble

As someone who has struggled/ is struggling with her weight, I have to say that being concerned about someone you know and loves health, and trying to broach that with them is a very different kettle of fish to telling all overweight people to cop on to themselves. Trust me, we know we're fat. We know we're unhealthy. And it's not that we don't care. We do. It's just that we've gotten so used to judging ourselves and being judged that the very last thing we want to do is ask for help. I know that sounds mental, but it's true. Luckily I have stopped caring (mostly) about what other people think in the gym, and I get stuck in as best I can. But 5 years ago I was the same size and weight and you couldn't have paid me to excercise, simply because I was too self conscious. Completely self defeating, yes. But it's how it is, at least for me.

generic2012

Populism is always a problem. On boards, social media, tv etc. Only expect it to get worse as the general population gets fatter. Healthy people getting stigmatised too is the worst of it. There is a new idea of what's 'too skinny'. Soon acceptable weight will be 'too skinny' and over weight will be acceptable.

Alf Veedersane

GrayFox208 wrote: »

No yelling someone they're perfectly fine is the wrong. If you had cancer would you be okay with a doctor telling you that you're grand just to spare you getting upset? If you lie to someone then bitch at me because I won't lie, YOU are the problem.

Like I said, there's a whole spectrum between one end and the other.

Snake

baby and crumble wrote: »

As someone who has struggled/ is struggling with her weight, I have to say that being concerned about someone you know and loves health, and trying to broach that with them is a very different kettle of fish to telling all overweight people to cop on to themselves. Trust me, we know we're fat. We know we're unhealthy. And it's not that we don't care. We do. It's just that we've gotten so used to judging ourselves and being judged that the very last thing we want to do is ask for help. I know that sounds mental, but it's true. Luckily I have stopped caring (mostly) about what other people think in the gym, and I get stuck in as best I can. But 5 years ago I was the same size and weight and you couldn't have paid me to excercise, simply because I was too self conscious. Completely self defeating, yes. But it's how it is, at least for me.

I didn't say tell them to cop on. I said being asked "am I fat?" And responding "no Hun you're gorgeous are ya mad like" is the problem.

Aspiring

It's all down to genetics I tell ya

Alf Veedersane

generic2012 wrote: »

I think a big part is that it can't be openly talked about, is a lot of it too though. To use the analogy of the smoker again, if you talk to a smoker most of them will talk to you about it, they won't say it's not unhealthy or say they don't smoke enough for it to be unhealthy etc. where this won't always be the case with a fat person. I can barely type that, that's not right. A person who has to much fat on their body is called fat, simple factual statement but it's become so loaded that it's nearly allowed to be said anymore, as if it's offensive when it's just a statement of fact. A fat person getting offended when they are called fat is like a smoker getting offended for being called a smoker.

If any 'smokers' are offended by any of that, it's only a statement of fact.

Whilst I agree with the need for education, I guess we won't ever agree on the 'similarities' between being a smoker and being called fat.

Purely because there's a difference between choosing to smoke and choosing to be fat.

If you don't agree, that's fine and I don't expect you to agree. And unless toy experienced it, you won't.

But there is no comparison between smoking and being fat.

But I don't think the issue should be sidestepped...just handled with a modicum of care where needed.

Snake

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

Whilst I agree with the need for education, I guess we won't ever agree on the 'similarities' between being a smoker and being called fat.

Purely because there's a difference between choosing to smoke and choosing to be fat.

If you don't agree, that's fine and I don't expect you to agree. And unless toy experienced it, you won't.

But there is no comparison between smoking and being fat.

But I don't think the issue should be sidestepped...just handled with a modicum of care where needed.

There's only so much care you can give, there's no harm done in being blunt giving the oul mammy hugs and kisses chat doesn't work you might get an agreement but never any follow through.

lulu1

A few years ago i had a serious illness which left me down to under seven stone in weight Now thankfully most of it is behind me but with the medication I can say I am now a stone over weight. So I would say to anyone please dont judge somebody who is over weight because you dont know their circumstances. Even though I know I am overweight I will not waste my time counting calories and living on lettuce leaves.

Precious flower

GrayFox208 wrote: »

I didn't say tell them to cop on. I said being asked "am I fat?" And responding "no Hun you're gorgeous are ya mad like" is the problem.

Well chances are a friend or loved one isn't going to respond with "Well love you and I both know you could stand to lose some weight". A person has to decide to change themselves no pep talk can do that for them. It's when your doing it for yourself and not because your friend told you you're a bit heavy. You have to see it, accept it and then do something about it, because YOU want to. Just like with a smoker/alcoholic/anorexic/over eater, they have to decide to quit for themselves. Doing it because society/family are telling you will not lead to that person really sticking to it.

baby and crumble

GrayFox208 wrote: »

I didn't say tell them to cop on. I said being asked "am I fat?" And responding "no Hun you're gorgeous are ya mad like" is the problem.

Fair enough but maybe we need to think about a way to say "you're gorgeous but if you want or need to lose weight for your health then I'll support you" Conflating looks and health issues doesnt help anyone.

dor843088

I think the aswer lies in the middle here. While people to get themselves into bad situations in terms of weight should be told to pull their head out and get sorted it should also be taken into consideration that weight/fat loss for any extended period of time is INCREDIBLY difficult . Constant hunger is a complete mind f*ck affecting sleep ,mood , hormones and you WILL be utterly compelled by your body and mind to binge. A kick up the arse and a helping hand would seem to be the right balance to me.

verywell

This is in regards to an adult being overweight.

I KNOW what i weigh and do not need any comments or sly digs about needing to lose weight. How do you know if I'm working on it or not? It's not gonna happen overnight. I just find it hurtful and upsetting. Go p1ss off and look at your own self improvement.

That's how I feel about ppl and their so called "kind" comments :rolleyes:

Mick Murdock

Interesting topic. It never fails to amaze me how deluded/dishonest people are with themselves when it comes to weight.. The usual story being - 'I barely eat anything' yet they've been consistently gaining weight for years. I know there are different factors for everyone but it's complete and utter boll*cks!! Either they are completely ignorant about basic nutrition or they're just kidding themselves! I think it's a combination of both a lot of the time.

I gained about 6 stone in my 20's after being relatively thin growing up. I knew why I was fat and I hated it. Everyday things like clothes shopping, going on nights out, friends weddings etc. were a massive pain in the hole. I don't think anybody is truly happy being overweight.

I didn't do anything about it for so long because my self confidence was at rock bottom, I was depressed, dealing with alcoholism and most days I just didn't care enough to act. It's a self perpetuating cycle.

Hopefully most people come to some sort of realisation eventually and do something about it.

People with overweight children should be charged with neglect. That's unforgiveable.